Girls and make up

[DragonFaerie]

My DD11 is telling me that I'm out of touch and ALL the 6th grade girls wear make up. I say not until she's 13. What says the Hive?

[Mommy22alyns]

I'd say 13. Rebecca is 10 and I just don't see letting her wear makeup next year.

[Guest submarines]

DD just turned 11, and I can't imagine her wearing any makeup. She isn't interested either.

I think if in a year she wanted a little pink-ish lip balm, I'd be fine with that. I voted 13, though.

[Susan in TN]

I voted 13 but dd is almost 15 and still doesn't wear makeup. Except for ballet recital and she hates how it feels. When my girls are young and watching me put on makeup or ask if they can wear make-up, I try to emphasize the fact that they already have beautifully smooth skin with lovely color and pink lips - nature's makeup.

[lynn]

Must be a regional thing. Most girls from Middle school I see here do not wear makeup maybe eye liner and lip gloss is about all I notice on a few at dd dance school and when I pick ds up from school.

[AK_Mom4]

We wait until they hit high school age here. The exception is lip-stuff because it is dry and chapped lips are common. I don't care if they wear Chapstick or lip gloss - whatever it takes to keep lips from splitting is fine with me.

[NotSoObvious]

I voted 13 but dd is almost 15 and still doesn't wear makeup. Except for ballet recital and she hates how it feels. When my girls are young and watching me put on makeup or ask if they can wear make-up, I try to emphasize the fact that they already have beautifully smooth skin with lovely color and pink lips - nature's makeup.

 

I agree, and I think even 13 is young. But, it's not something my girls are interested in and since they don't go to school, they are unlikely to feel that peer pressure. I don't wear a lot of make up so that message won't be coming strongly from me.

 

But, I would want to do everything possible to make my daughter feel good about herself. If that means bending a bit so she can feel she fits in with her friends, then I would help her learn how to wear make up tastefully and set some pretty firm boundaries in the beginning.

[poppy]

"When you're a teenager".

[DragonFaerie]

Right now, she can wear colored lip gloss (like Baby Lips). She's asking to wear mascara. I really doubt that EVERY girl in 6th grade wears make up. In fact, I'd bet that most of them don't.

[Lilaclady]

I say 13 and I can see my older dd waiting till then but the younger one is just chumping on the bits to start wearing makeup

 

[kewb]

My daughter is following the road my mother put me on.

 

6th grade-lip gloss/light lipstick

7th grade-blush

8th grade-go to town but first lets learn how to apply properly

 

That said, your daughter is not 100% incorrect. There are plenty of 11 year olds in my town with full face paint.

[Ali in OR]

I don't foresee my 12 yo dd having any interest in makeup any time soon. Dds have several different lip glosses. They wear makeup for ballet recitals. Other than that--no interest here. I would be fine with mascara and eyeliner tastefully done at age 13. Not the raccoon eye look or anything too sophisticated.

[Tap]

I said 13, but honestly I don't assign arbitrary rules to my kids. If they were interested in makeup, applied it appropriately, committed to maintaining it throughout the day, and wash it off at night....they can wear makeup. She goes to a private school so she is around kids who wear nothing all the way to full on face makeup and colored hair.

 

DD14 started wearing a smidge of makeup (powder) and colored lip balm around 13 I think. She told me that she wanted to wait until 14 for the rest. I was okay with that LOL so I said 'sure, 14 it is'. Even now, she just wears some mascara, a touch of coverup for acne, and a colored lip balm. Some days, not even that much

 

 

She wears heavier makeup for cheer but doesn't like to wear that much even on school days when she has cheer afterward.

[Crimson Wife]

I grew up in New England and was allowed to wear a bit of blush in the dead of winter starting when I was in 4th grade (only enough to keep me from looking deathly pale, not enough to look "made up"). Everything else I had to wait until my 13th birthday for.

 

Here in sunny CA we don't have the same issue but if we ever moved someplace I'd permit DD to wear a bit of blush if she needed it in the winter. Tinted sunscreen and lip gloss I'd be ok with at 12, everything else in high school.

[bolt.]

I've allowed pretty pink lip gloss for days when we "dress nice" regularly since they were toddlers. At my discresion, particularly for pictures or "very fancy occasions" I freely share my make up with them (lightly applied to accomplish a sweet natural look). They are 5 and 8, and this has been ongoing for years.

 

I imagine this to be the start of a fairly natural transition. We also share access to hair do-dads and earrings (sanitized), except for a few that are mine alone, so that's sort of our working model for this sort of thing.

 

(We also go a bit wild for costumes and such, using my regular stash but unusually applied. We've even been known to use washable markers as makeup... On purpose.)

[nd293]

It really depends on what you mean by make-up... I gave dd12 some light, neutral coloured creme lipsticks for her birthday. At 13 she can add mineral powder foundation and eyeliner if she wishes. For school, or daytime, that's where it stays. When she's old enough to go out at night, I guess I'll loosen up a little.

 

From what I see, very few young girls have the judgement required to use eye shadow or blush well. They tend to overdo it. I really like a natural look, and for that I'd prefer that dd sticks to lipstick, mineral powder, eye liner and maybe mascara.

[Tina]

Well, I voted after 13. Which is most makeup. I let her start with mascara a couple months before 13 because we went to a mother-daughter MK party where the girls got to try it. I remember just wanting mascara when I started, so I said okay. She's had Bonne Bell lip balms and such for years, along with nail polish thanks to sils and such. Holding off on any other makeup for at least another year if I can.

[Joker]

I let my dd get a makeover and purchase makeup for her 13th birthday. She picked out powder, blush, eye shadow, and lip gloss. She only wears the lip gloss regularly, though, because hardly any of the middle school girls wear any makeup at all (and she goes to ps).

[Amy in TX]

When they start high school, for no better reason than that that's when my Mom allowed me to start wearing it. It seems reasonable to me--I don't care for makeup on middle schoolers, but again, that's just me. :)

[HRAAB]

I have no set in stone rule about make-up. I address it when they ask about it. So far, out of 5 girls, none have been the least interested before 14. If they had asked earlier, I would have said lip gloss, blush around 11/12 and work up from there.

[Cera]

I have told mine that they can wear makeup when they are in high school. It was a completely arbitrary decision but it sounds good to me. If they really want to I will allow lip gloss and maybe blush or a bit of mascara in jr high (7th and 8th grade here) but I see no reason for young girls to slather on products designed to make them more attractive.

[Arcadia]

Elementary school girls nearby wear nail polish and tinted lip balm. The middle schoolers wear light makeup. I have seen some that overdo their makeup to the point of looking like Halloween but I just assume it was a "bad hair day" scenario.

[bettyandbob]

my dd15 does not wear make up. She went to ps for 6th grade and never once asked about wearing make up. I do not recall any girls in her 6th grade wearing make up. She still hasn't asked about wearing make up. She has friends who do wear make up, but she's never worn it with the exception of stage make up.

 

The closest she's ever gotten on this topic is to say that if she were invited to prom in the next year or two, she would have trouble because she has no idea what to do with makeup. I pointed out that she has worn make up in her ballet performances and when she used to do competitive cheer. She doesn't think stage make up is what you put on for prom though.

[Donna]

I let dd10 wear nail polish and slightly tinted lip balm (like Burt's Bees). If she is performing on stage, she wears a little make-up (a little pale neutral eye shadow and a bit of blush) to not look pale under the lights. She is not allowed to wear make-up whenever she wants until she is 15.

[fairfarmhand]

I have an 11 yo and say no to make-up.

 

My 15 yo rarely wears it.

 

 

as a compromise, if this is a really important thing for your 11 yo,

I might, however, allow an 11 yo to wear a bit of tinted lip gloss and powder. No eye makeup.

 

And the instant you find out she's wearing more than she ought to, it goes away till she's 13.

[FriedClams]

My issue with make up for girls in/beginning puberty is long term skin care. It seems to me that putting make up on starts the cycle of acne - cover up - more acne - more core up... While I'd be willing to consider light and natural if my dd /really/ wanted to wear it, I prefer her to wait for her hormones and skin to mature a bit more than 11. Thankfully my dd couldn't care less about make up and will be 12 soon.

[mom2scouts]

It's quite common to see 12 year olds wearing full makeup around here. My parents allowed me to wear very light makeup starting at age 12 and I'll probably do the same. Actually, my dd is a dancer and she's been required to makeup for recitals/competitions since she's been 4. She doesn't like eye makeup, so maybe she won't even want to wear makeup at age 12!

[Shawna in Texas]

My dd is nearly 15 and I've not had any makeup restrictions that I can remember. She doesn't do understated or "normal" very often. She often does a more theatrical or strange look. Everyone's quite used to it now.

[Dory]

I know in the ps high school here, that the nice girls don't wear anything more than lip gloss and nail polish until they are older than 13.

My dd will be taught how to care for her skin to keep it looking young and naturally pretty. She can use lip balm to keep her lips moist and she can wear nail polish, but nothing else until 15. The exception will be for dance recitals or any other on stage performances.

[Meriwether]

I said 13. Dd10 is not interested in makeup yet. I don't wear makeup, so she hasn't been around it. I plan on taking her for makeup lessons before she is interested. I want to influence her opinions before she has a personal interest.

[SLT]

I said 11- let me explain. I started wearing "makeup" at 11, when I got a 4.0 in school. My mom and I went out for lunch and she let me pick out a few pieces of makeup at the drugstore at my request. I got clear mascara, light pink blush and a translucent powder. So, made me happy but you really couldn't see anything. I'd say 13 for any real makeup (brown/black mascara, eye shadow etc).

[momtokea]

My oldest daughter is 15 and rarely wears makeup. When she was younger I always allowed her to play with makeup if she wanted to. When she was 12 she wanted to wear it regularly, so I bought her some new makeup, and since she was home schooled I didn't think it was a big deal. If she wanted to put on a pile of makeup every morning and sit across from me at the kitchen, so be it. After a few days she realized it wasn't worth the trouble and gave up on everyday makeup. Now at 15, there are times when we are going out that I actually suggest she put a bit of makeup on (she's very pale). It seems the novelty wore off, or something.

 

I guess if she was putting on too much I would set limits, but there hasn't been need.

 

I think at 11 I would be careful not to make it a forbidden fruit. I know several girls who just wanted to try it, and soon the novelty wore off.

[Parrothead]

Dd gets horrible acne. I took her to the Clinque counter for her 13th birthday to get concealer, powder, lip pencils and blush.

[tammieb]

My issue with make up for girls in/beginning puberty is long term skin care. It seems to me that putting make up on starts the cycle of acne - cover up - more acne - more core up... While I'd be willing to consider light and natural if my dd /really/ wanted to wear it, I prefer her to wait for her hormones and skin to mature a bit more than 11. Thankfully my dd couldn't care less about make up and will be 12 soon.

 

 

 

My reasoning for not encouraging makeup in dd is 3 - fold:

 

This reason above

 

Secondly, alot of times (not always!) girls get interested in wearing makeup just because everybody else is. That's one thing we try to avoid around our house. If she's going to wear it, it needs to be because it's what SHE wants to do. Not because she feels like the odd man out for not wearing it.

 

Thirdly, alot of folks (not just young girls!) use makeup as an emotional "mask." They "feel" better with it on and would "never be caught dead" without. I'm sorry, but there's something REALLY WRONG with that philosophy!

 

I'm 40'ish and ---- HOLD ON!! --- I don't wear makeup!! And, no, it's not a religious belief or anything like that. I just finally came to a place in my life that I'm comfortable with myself. I asked my hubby what he liked, and he said he's always preferred a more natural look. So, I tossed it! If we do pics or if I'm on stage performing at church or something I'll wear it for the lighting. I see nothing "wrong" with it. I just think we need to encourage our girls to ask themselves "why do I want to do this" with any decision in their life.

 

Happy Homeschooling :)

[Loowit]

Up until a few months ago DD said she would never wear makeup. She has had to wear it for dance since she was 5 and has always hated it. She is 12 now and asked about trying to wear some once in a while. I doubt it will be an every day thing for a few more years. I told her I was okay with some light makeup, but it was up to her. So far she hasn't bothered with it though. I haven't worn makeup in years, so it has never really been something we do in our family. If she expresses more interest I will help her learn how to apply it appropriately. At 11 I would have said no because I think that is too young, but each family is different. There are girls in DD's dance studio wearing makeup in 2nd grade.

[hillfarm]

I allowed dd to use nail polish when she was 12, as long as she kept her nails well trimmed and looking nice. I allowed her to wear basic makeup at 13, however there were some prerequisites. She took a class in skin care when she was 12 and had to keep up with that. When she was finally permitted to wear makeup, she had to go have it done at the Clinique counter and learn how to apply and remove it correctly.

 

Dh and I also have a rule that if we look at her and see makeup, that is too much and she had to go remove it. If we look at her and see her face first and the makeup second, then it is fine. We like a very natural look on younger teens. For example, she uses foundation, powder, blush, very small amounts of eye shadow, and neutral lip gloss or lipstick. However, her mascara is not pigmented and is mostly just to detangle her longish lashes. She can go with a more dramatic look when she is older, particularly for evening - I think a lighter hand looks much better during the day for women of all ages.

[Pamela H in Texas]

With my older daughter, we let her play with make up when she was interested (younger than 11). She knew that it had to be very light, fairly "natural," and not offend my sensibilities to leave the house with it on. She got it out of her system and has worn it all of twice since. <shrug> I would have guessed it was more likely she would get it out of her system and be fairly mild to moderate with her as a teen/young adult.

[Mrs Mungo]

Mine were allowed to start at 13. They have always worn nail polish.

[Aspasia]

Wow! This discussion has been so enlightening for me! I voted 12, because I'm from Utah and Utahans LOVE their makeup. Most of them start wearing it by 12, for sure. I, personally, was never really into makeup. Even as an adult, I go through phases where I decide it's time to "grow up" and figure out something beyond eye shadow and mascara, but I just can't ever maintain or feel comfortable in all the other stuff. My dd5 is already obsessed with "pretty" and asks me when she will get to wear makeup. I've just gone with the 12 rule, but now I feel like I have license to up it a little. Hmmm...

[Joyofsixreboot]

I wrote 13 but I probably let them wear a touch of lip gloss and a little mascara before that as a middle ground. I remember sneaking blue cover girl eye shadow to school, putting it on every day in 6th grade and then washing it off when I got home so my mom wouldn't know (she worked). I'd rather they ask than sneak.

[J-rap]

I didn't pick an age, because I never had an age for my girls. It would totally depend on circumstances. I wear light make-up, but we don't talk about looks much in our house and since my girls were home pretty much all the time at that age (and not exposed to other teens), they didn't think about make-up much. My oldest didn't start wearing it until she was 16 or 17. My next oldest (who matured, physically, even sooner than my oldest) began wearing it at about 13 or 14. My next one not until 17. My youngest though began wearing it much, much earlier, at first to cover her acne which began when she was about 9! But she is also very artsy and colorful, and that's just her personality. I didn't have a problem with her experimenting earlier as long as it wasn't too much.

[Lizzie in Ma]

We allowed lightly colored lip gloss at 13 but no real make-up til 15. Even then they know I don't like them to wear a lot of it.

[Chris in VA]

Dd is 13 and can wear Burt's Bees tinted lipgloss. She has worn nail polish for several years, but only toes for dark colors.

I've thought a lot about makeup and society. It's funny how different times and cultures have different standards of beauty. I think of the powdered white of the tradition Japanese, or the tatoos of the Maori, or the goth look--so different in their definition of beautiful!

I wonder why people like to adorn themselves these ways, and how it evolves, y'know? Is there a first person who does something and it becomes a cultural norm?

 

Anyway, for me, I want dd to look natural. I want her to accept herself as the way she is, and only enhance a little bit. I hate eyeliner--always looks so fake to me. She can wait on looking older (and I do think makeup is for later teens and adults).

[DragonFaerie]

Thanks so much for all the replies! I really appreciate everyone's thoughts. DD is in PS, but today is the last day of school. She won't be too interested in make up over the summer, I don't think, so it's probably a non-issue until school starts back again. I didn't even know there was such a thing as clear mascara. I already let her wear nail polish and lip gloss. As far as skin care goes, mascara may be a better choice than actual "make up." Maybe clear mascara can be a compromise.

[Michelle My Bell]

I voted 12 but that is only to cover up pimples with foundation, a bit of lip gloss and maybe a touch of blush on special occasions. I don't mind a bit more each year. I love makeup so I am not super strong against it, but I don't want to advocate it for perfect baby skin either.

[bolt.]

A tinted moisturizer might be a nice step along the way if a girl thinks "makeup" means "all over the face" -- perhaps get one with a sunscreen factor.

[Just Kate]

Well, my 5.5 year old dd loves to wear lip gloss (she calls it lipstick, but it is only gloss). I have a feeling she is going to want to wear make-up early on, so I plan to allow her as appropriate. I wear Bare Minerals, which is very light so I will probably encourage her to move in that direction. I can't imagine attaching an age to it. Instead I will just see how it goes. But I can imagine that around age 11 (middle school age) I would probably start allowing her to wear VERY light make-up.

 

Oh, she also dances and loves recital day because she gets to wear stage make-up. Yup, she's going to be a fun teen!!!

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I didn't vote for an age, I don't think it matter's as much. Just take the time to teach her how to apply each product correctly and how to remove it properly and care for her skin. Show her how to do light make up for daytime, and save the heavier fancier application for a school dance.

[Firefly]

My dd is nearly 15 and I've not had any makeup restrictions that I can remember. She doesn't do understated or "normal" very often. She often does a more theatrical or strange look. Everyone's quite used to it now.

 

 

This is my DD as well. She's always been very artsy/creative, and is active in theatre. And she has always loved to self-decorate... at two I found her in just her diaper with a (fortunately non-toxic) marker that she had drawn squiggly lines all over her torso and arms with. Glittery nail polish, "fairy dust" for her hair-- all that stuff she loved when she was little. At about 12 I let her start playing around with "real" make up. Now, at almost 14, she loves a dramatic, theatrical look. But she still is perfectly comfortable going barefaced (karate/pool etc) as well.

 

I'm not fussed about it. Most days I don't wear make up myself, but when I was her age I lived in London and the punk scene was huge, so I've done my share of heavy eye liner-ing and the like. :D

[kitten18]

I voted 11 but I don't think dd will be ready for more than the lip gloss she already wears at that age.

 

I LOVE makeup, my sisters love makeup, my nieces love makeup.

We are a makeup loving family.