This is actually why I ended up leaving WWE 1 years ago--we learned how to do it and then moved on to our own texts that were relevant to what we were learning or reading at the time.

We've always done a lot of this, but this particular child has always frozen up. She struggles to articulate her thoughts about literally everything, even the things I know she loves or knows a ton about. That's actually what has made me think about going back to basic narration--like, maybe if it's just about retelling someone else's ideas instead of thinking up her own ideas and then articulating them, it would free her up? I don't know.

I've sort of dropped the ball with my two younger kids, ages 9 and 11. I trusted that they would follow a more organic path of writing development like my older kids (with just copy work, dictation, and lots of free writing, until it was time to learn more formal formats). But it hasn't really worked out that way. Now, they are in need of some remediation, especially the 9yo, who is a VERY reluctant/resistant writer and really just struggles with having anything to say at all, written or spoken. She seems to shut down whenever she is asked a question, even casually, can't really describe or retell anything. The 11yo has different struggles. Very loquacious, and when she writes, she can go on for days, but her spelling and punctuation are atrocious. Do you think WWE would be helpful? And if so, which level? I am familiar with the program, as I used it a bit with my oldest before I went super casual, (because she was naturally developing the skills on her own). Just not sure if I should start from the beginning or jump in at level 3 or 4. Or something else?

Looking to start one. Any tips or guidance? I could use info from the ground up. Thanks!

These are great ideas. We have definitely been going back to the city a lot because we still have some sports and classes to wrap up (which, honestly, has probably made it harder to orient ourselves in our new place). At the same time, they are involved in new sports teams here in our new town, and the high schooler is doing a really cool teen volunteer program nearby. Once thecity things are done, and now that dd is done with her AP tests, maybe we can get out and enjoy learning about our new town and state a bit. That seems like it should have been an obvious move, huh? But I think with all the time we missed during the move, I have given in a lot more to pressure to "catch up." Thank you for this reminder to take it easy and let the learning be a little different for awhile. And yes, we are planning a garden and some chickens! Kids are super excited, especially the high schooler.

I love this idea! Definitely going to chat with kids and look for some mentors. Thank you so much!

I most definitely do value sports. If you saw our family schedule (and my own life as a youth and an adult), you'd know that sports are actually a primary value in my life. That was just a part of the list of things he loves, which I'm actually not dismissing. I participate in them with him. They just aren't sufficient in themselves as an education, which is what he would prefer. You seem really defensive of screens. Do your thing. I see value in some screen time, but I choose to limit it because I prefer how my kids spend their time when they're NOT on screens. That's my thing. You do yours.

We just moved from NYC, where this kid had a super active social life. She was out and about all over the city with her friends all the time. We hosted large groups of teens at our apartment every week for game nights and whatnot. She took fun homeschooling classes at the Met. She plays soccer. If anything, my kids could use LESS social time. And the move also gave everyone a few weeks off from school while I unpacked and got settled in. But I know the upheaval is taking its toll on everyone for sure. Probably me most of all! *Sigh* This is hard.

Oh, they have TONS of social time. We have a very active homeschool community, tons of groups and activities. Lots of sports. And they spend lots of unstructured time with friends. If anything, honestly, they could use LESS of that, because most of your life is running around meeting up with friends. anything that's not fun feels like a drag. I'm not dismissive of my son's interests. But Pokemon and video games aren't school. Fun is fun, but sometimes we have to get things done.

Oh, I was so hoping you would respond! I love this advice, and definitely think we could use a family meeting where we talk about this stuff and I just make it clear that I won't be entertaining the complaints. I have sort of been saying that to a couple of the habitual complainers (after I explained why we have to do it a hundred times before I realized that they aren't actually interested in why, they just don't want to do it). But this is just good life advice. I've been realizing lately that much of our problems as a society are rooted in obsessing over every little feeling and giving emotions way more energy than they deserve. Thank you so much.

Well, we did just move to a new state. And from a big city to a rural/exurban community. The whole moving process has definitely thrown us off. And my husband and I have been having a lot of relationship issues as well. I'm definitely not at my best. These homeschool problems predate any of this, but I'm sure it's not helping!

We are in our 11th year of homeschooling, so we're not newbies. This is all my four kids have ever known. But we are in a major rut, and if I'm being honest with myself, we have been for a long time (probably the last 2 years). Homeschooling used to be joyful but now my kids complain about EVERYTHING. All. day. long. I feel like my entire day is spent managing people's attitudes and pulling teeth to get them to do the bare minimum (math, reading, copy work, some writing). My 10th grader used to be the poster child for homeschooling--cheerful and curious and engaged and creative. She was always busy making things and learning about various interests on her own. She was amazing. Now she thinks everything is a drag. She spends all day in her room doing her work (or dawdling and getting behind). I've asked her, if she could design her entire school year herself, choose how to spend each day, what would it look like? I'm met with grunts and shrugs. In the end, she's pulling it off, doing DE and AP courses and some others. She's checking the boxes for a college prep high school experience, but she's not happy like she used to be. (Personal interests are art and music, which she does spend at least 2 hours on every day, so it's not like she isn't investing what matters to her most.) My 7th grader has always been my biggest attitude challenge, but it's reached new heights. He's gotten to the age where now he's asking what the point of life is, because every day he just gets up and does his school (which he hates) and that's it. We have a very active sports and cultural life--we spend lots of time going to museums and plays and homeschool group activities...all of which he complains about the whole time. He thinks school is pointless, he doesn't care about any of it. The only way to get him to do the basics is to offer incentives. Never mind about anything beyond that. He gets mad and feels victimized if his school work takes longer than 2 hours, because he still thinks he should be able to race through it and play for the rest of the day (like when he was little). This, despite about a billion conversations over the last few years about how to manage his expectations and to expect his work to take longer because he's getting older. When asked what he would like to learn, same thing with the grunts and shrugs. If left entirely to his own devices, he would spend all day on...well...devices. We are a very low-screen family, but he's always, always wanting more and more video games. He has no interests outside of Pokemon, video games, and sports. My 5th and 3rd graders just complain about every single math page or bit of copy work. They hate everything. Third grader groans every day about how pointless math is, asks why she has to do it, etc. I've engaged in these conversations with her about a thousand times, trying to help her school work have meaning in her life. At this point, I'm done. It's very clear that she isn't actually interested in the why, it's just a way to complain and stall. Don't even get me started on more fun things like history or science. Nobody wants to do any of it. What's fun to me, and I think to most kids, is apparently not fun to mine. Every single day has become a slog and now I kinda hate homeschooling. I've tried to add things to brighten up our days, I've asked them for input, I've tried switching to a more open project-based approach where they can choose what they learn about and choose how to express their learning (I compiled a list of project ideas for them to choose from or draw inspiration from), but they just moan and say they hate learning and aren't interested in anything. I see all these homeschooled kids who have various learning interests that they enthusiastically pursue on their own: WWII, Ancient Egypt, astronomy, literature, whatever. I always assumed that, given enough time and freedom and support, mine would eventually find theirs, too. Why don't my kids have any interests at all? The kicker is that I'm a VERY enthusiastic learner. Way more so than your average adult. I always have a new obsession I'm learning about, tearing through nonfiction books and sharing cool things with my family. Everywhere we go, I'm engaged in learning about everythign around me--I read about it beforehand, soak up all the learning resources onsite, cheerfully try to bring my kids in...and they just resist, resist, resist. I feel like I've failed at the number one goal of homeschool moms everywhere--to inspire a love of learning. 😭 What have I done wrong? Why are my kids so uninterested in learning? How do I fix this? Or should I just give up and send them to school? Because honestly, none of us are happy right now.

My husband works for a Toronto-based company that wants to promote him, and they prefer that we move up there (from NYC). I’m not super excited about that prospect, but I’m always open to exploring new opportunities and I‘m always open to being surprised. We are going up there at the end of the month to explore, but I was hoping I could get some insights from a homeschool perspective. What is the homeschool community like? Our kids are 15, 12, 10, and 8, so we're especially concerned about the offerings for older kids. Additionally, we are big into sports, especially competitive soccer and gymnastics, so access to those opportunities is important to us. Also, we’re kind of over city life in general and we were planning to leave NYC next spring anyway, so we probably would not live right in Toronto. We kinda want something rural (we don’t like the suburbs), but the kind of rural that has great art, theater, history, culture, good restaurants, social diversity, etc. Does the greater Toronto area have anything similar to, say, the Hudson Valley? What is it like to be an American in Canada? We generally think of it as pretty much the same as the U.S., but what would remind us that we’re definitely foreigners? Haha. How bad is winter up there? I actually really enjoy winter…for the first few months. NYC’s winter starts to push my limits beginning in March and definitely when it drags into April. How much worse is it in Toronto? Thanks so much for any insights you can offer!

For me, winter means snow and temps below 30.

We actually have NM on our list, specifically Santa Fe. We have visited and I absolutely love it there. I grew up in Utah and always found the desert ugly, but after 12+ years on the East Coast, I learned to not only appreciate it, but to actually crave it.

We've been to WV a couple times (lived in NOVA for 9 years) and it's SO lovely! I will add that to my list, for sure. This is super helpful, thank you. I like pragmatic and direct. And my husband would actually prefer the train as well. He used to take it between NY and DC a lot. MUCH easier than flying.

Both of these are definitely on our list. Are you very familiar with New Hampshire? One of my big concerns is that I hear native New Hampshire residents (what do they call themselves? haha) don't care for the influx of "outsiders," especially from New York. Is that true? I don't want to go somewhere where we'll be resented or shut out. We aren't the kind of people who intend to move there and change it or complain about it. And I understand NH is relatively conservative, but we're not raging liberals or anything. I don't know. We were really excited about NH and then I started hanging out on their City-Data forum and they made it seem like New Yorkers are NOT welcome.

Please help me narrow down our options! It’s overwhelming to not have your place of residence be dictated by a job. We are currently in NYC and love it here, but cost of living and other things have us thinking about leaving when our lease is up next year. Our needs/preferences: - We’d like at least a couple acres (we don’t like suburban life—it’s either the city or the country for us). - But we have to be within an hour of a great city, with museums, restaurants, youth sports programs (specifically boys and girls gymnastics teams), and all that jazz. - Also within an hour of a proper airport (or 1-2 hour drive/train to the city), because my husband will need to travel back to NYC once or twice a month, along with other occasional travel. (For this reason, he favors staying on the east coast, but we’re open to going west for the right location.) - Lower taxes, please! Preferably a state in the lower half of those overall tax burden rankings. - Lots of outdoor recreation opportunities, especially hiking trails and lakes. - All four seasons (yes, even winter--sorry, South). - Politically/socially moderate (does that even exist?) - Budget is $1.5-$2 million or so, depending on property taxes. Thanks for your insight!

Yes! We actually have always done this, too. The Checklist is a guiding principle in our school and our lives generally. My high schooler does still have a checklist, but because I'm less involved in her work, I'm trying to figure out how to keep tabs on all of it. THANK YOU for all these details! I actually subscribed to Homeschool Planet the other day and I'm really excited about the possibilities.

This feels like a ridiculous question because I've been homeschooling for almost 10 years and have never had a problem knowing whether or not my kids are completing their work. For my elementary and middle schoolers, I've always done the file system (you know, where I tear apart the workbooks, print the e-books, and file into 36 folders per kid), with all their written work for the week contained in a binder, divided into five days of work. I know how much progress we're making by looking at the number on the file folder we're currently on. Plus, I'm working alongside them, so I have a good sense of where they are and how they're doing. Super easy. But now my oldest is in 9th grade and she's juggling a lot of textbooks and other materials, plus she does some of her work on her computer, none of which lends itself to my trusty file system. She's also working very independently. I've helped her break down how much of each thing she needs to do each week, and she made her own schedule for how she wants to accomplish that. I check in with her occasionally and look over her materials, and I do work with her on her writing assignments and things. But if I'm being honest, I'm probably not as hands-on with her as I should be, and I'm not as on top of her progress through her materials as I am with my younger kids. What is your organizational system for your high schooler? How involved are you every day? Do you use an online planner to connect and keep each other apprised of assignments and progress?

Oh my goodness....THIS IS EVERYTHING. This is golden wisdom. You're so right! I'm giving all my energy to my community and missing out on this precious time when all of my kids are here, which is dwindling faster and faster. YES. This is super helpful. This is exactly what I need to remember. I think I had myself convinced that I could make it work with really intense scheduling. But turns out, just because you can fit it on your calendar, doesn't mean you can fit it in your life. And once I make a commitment to others, I have a hard time letting them down or flaking out...which means I end up flaking on my kids. And that is SO DUMB, because obviously I care more about my kids and their education than I do about my reputation in the homeschool community. I need to get really brave and bail on some of these commitments.

I had an epiphany last night as I was going to bed. I tend to be really good at decluttering things and I've observed that most people struggle with it because they approach it from the wrong angle. Most people go through their things asking whether something is still useable, whether they might use it in the future. And that's why they don't get rid of much. Most things can clear the hurdle of "useable." But when I declutter, I tell myself something like, "Okay, I'm only keeping 7 sweaters." And then I pick my favorite sweaters, and without even LOOKING through the others, I bag them up and toss them. Same with everything else. Name a number, choose my favorites, toss the others without fanfare. That's what I need to do with my schedule! Duh! I need to identify a number of activities or hours that we can be gone for, choose my favorite activities that fit within that limit, and then unceremoniously toss EVERYTHING else. Kind of like Homeschool Mom in AZ said.

I charge for the tours and journalism class, but my tour prices are quite a bit below market (because I don't want to gouge homeschoolers, which everyone around me has assured me is crazy because these tours take far more prep than standard tours for tourists--I'm coming up with games and activities to keep the kids engaged). But you're right that I should use that money to hire out the housework. I do have a bunch of people signed up for the tours, about 20 at a time. I've organized them into sets of 5 tours (which they pay for all at once), so after this current set, I'm definitely planning to scale back to biweekly or monthly.

This is a good point, and I definitely have some people in mind already. For one, I really want to get one of these teens to put the newspaper together, because I HATE the design element of it, and I'm certain one of them will love it.