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hillfarm

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hillfarm last won the day on August 27 2013

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About hillfarm

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee
  1. hillfarm

    Skipping remedial cc classes

    My dd tested poorly on the math placement test at the local cc. She would have been required to take at least 2 remedial classes as prerequisites for the college algebra class she needed. I knew that she has test anxiety, especially in math, and that her problem seems to be more one of retention rather than comprehension. So we requested a special exemption from the Dean of the cc. He gave it, with the caveat that she sign up for a tutor (provided at no cost) at the beginning of class, not waiting until she got in trouble. His requirement was excellent, as it took several class periods for the tutor to be arranged and schedules to be coordinated. She worked very hard in the class, attended tutoring faithfully, and got an A in the class. Had she waited until she reached that point where she was in over her head, and then had to wait 3 or 4 more class periods to finalize tutoring arrangements, she could have easily been nearly a month behind before she got help, and in a 16 week course, it would have been very hard to come back up to speed while also staying current with new material. It worked well for us, since we had the benefit of a homeschooling mindset (stick with it until you "get" it, bring in all the help you need, and no feeling sorry for yourself and giving up!), and good support from the cc.
  2. My dd had to quit a job due to similar circumstances. She worked at the local Kroger grocery store. Although she provided correct availability information for their computer system on three separate occasions, they could not accept that her dual enrollment class schedule was not the same as that of the local high school students. They kept scheduling her to work based on times when the high schoolers would be available, totally ignoring the fact that she had a 4:30 class 4 days a week. When she would tell them that she had been scheduled in error, their response was always that it was her responsibility to find someone to replace her. Each time she went back in to the computer system, with her supervisor watching, and reentered her hours of availability. And each time, I later got a call here at home, wondering why she had not reported in to work for her shift. I finally had enough and told her to quit. Then I called the manager and explained in no uncertain terms that it would have been illegal for her to work the hours they kept trying to force her to work and that it certainly was not the responsibility of a 16 yo girl to solve their scheduling problems. It was a very good thing that I was busy that week and couldn't go in person to have the conversation, or a good bit more would have been said.
  3. hillfarm

    Need help translating this

    Yay!!! Thank you so much for the help, Laura! (According to Google, the following means Thank You in whatever "simplified Chinese" is) :) 谢谢
  4. hillfarm

    Need help translating this

    Hi, can anyone help me translate the Asian (Chinese?) characters on this shirt? A friend got it for me but I am reluctant to wear it unless I know what it says. I assume it is some kind of advertisement. http://www.ebay.com/itm/Kelloggs-Rooster-Cereal-T-Shirt-Chinese-Leters-Vintage-Look-Adult-Medium-/111227233590
  5. hillfarm

    Can anyone help me translate this?

    Oops! Accidentally posted to the wrong subforum.
  6. Hi, I have a t-shirt just like this one, but won't wear it until I know what it says! Can anyone translate it for me? http://www.ebay.com/itm/Kelloggs-Rooster-Cereal-T-Shirt-Chinese-Leters-Vintage-Look-Adult-Medium-/111227233590
  7. My relationship with dd is more like what TammyS describes. I love her fiercely, but ours was definitely a mother/daughter relationship, not one of peers or adult friends. Dh and I have a closer relationship than dd and I do. Regarding other losses in my life, it has been 10 years since my father passed away and I still miss him and think of him often. I went from that initial, intense, brittle state of barely functional grief to a much lower, but ongoing level. I occasionally tear up when thinking of him, but am able to wipe away the tears and move on with my life within a few seconds. I would say that I have been at this level of grief over his passing for the last 8 or so years. I doubt it will change during my lifetime. I am not sure I want it to. I cherish my memories of him, even though they occasionally make me sad. I have always felt that I am not a very sentimental person. I do feel a little unsettled now and then, but I suspect that will change as our "new normal" emerges.
  8. Dh and I have been preparing for 17 years to send dd off to college. He pointed out to me that her move in day was like our graduation day. It marked the culmination of all those years of effort and activity. He also jokingly wondered why no one was throwing us a party or giving us gifts (such a comedian!). Also, dd had been preparing us somewhat for this for several months, although I don't think she did it intentionally. As she matured, she began to spend more time with her friends and classmates than with "the old folks at home". So her room was empty quite a bit, even when she was still living at home. She was experimenting with different types of diets to see which combination of foods made her feel the best, so she often cooked her own meals apart from what we were eating. Due to her work, school and social schedule, her mealtimes were often not the same as ours anyway. Her move toward independence started long before her actual move in day. I love her dearly and threw myself into homeschooling and being her mother 100%. She is our only child, so she got 100% of the attention and focus. We spent quite a bit of our time making space in our lives for her. Although all that came to a screeching halt when she left, it was still okay. I am excited to start focusing on jumpstarting my previous career. I am energized thinking about creating a new lifestyle with my dh now. Dd is not totally out of the picture, she will still come home on breaks. But the dynamic has changed and I am willing and ready to embrace that. I never bought into the idea of parenting as a competitive sport when dd was young and I am not about to buy into it now. Some moms grieve more that I have, others grieve less. I refuse to waste time measuring myself against either group. I still miss her, if you define "miss" as noticing a difference when things are not as they were. I realized yesterday that when she was living at home, but out with friends, I felt a constant, low-level sense of expectancy, waiting for her to call or to come home. I notice when she is not in the kitchen in the mornings, preparing her breakfast while I am preparing mine. Multiple times a day, for multiple reasons, I notice that she is not where I am used to her being. But that doesn't make me sad. I offer up a prayer for her and her new friends, I smile as I think about what an interesting person she is on the way to becoming, and I move on to other things that are starting to blossom in my life. I have always said that life is all about seasons. This is one of those times when I am challenged to walk my talk. A new season has begun. Not better, not worse - just different.
  9. I was surprised to recently learn that one of dd's classes required a special textbook that is custom published for her specific university. And not surprisingly, very expensive. Apparently it also changes every year and requires a code for use of associated online features. Talk about trying to prevent strapped parents from searching out a deal! However, she also got an email from the department saying that they would be offering a few "scholarships" to cover the cost of the book. To apply, she had to submit our FAFSA, an application and write an essay. It was stated in the email that preference would be given to students majoring in that field, which dd is not. I encouraged her to apply anyway and she got one! She picked up her book and other materials the first day of classes. So just a heads up if any of your dc come into contact with this kind of thing, that it may be worth applying for a scholarship, even if not a major. IMO, most of the kids were just anxious to get the book - it was only available about a week prior to the start of classes - so they were willing to pay anything.
  10. hillfarm

    nm

    Perhaps she can relate to the roomie a lesson I learned when I went with dd to trapeze school. Apparently there are no "beginner sized" trapeze equipment items. We learned on the same stuff the experts performed on. When I was up there, there were so few things to hold on to that I had a death grip on the few I could grab. One was a bar on the platform. But I had to let go of it to reach out to the swing bar. It was so lovely and solid! It was so safe! But I knew I couldn't move forward and swing until I let go of the platform. I had to repeat that lesson again when it came time to release the bar and drop to the net. That skinny little bar wasn't much, but it was the only solid thing in my whole life at that exact point in time and I surely did not want to let it go. But I had to in order to reach the safety and comfort of the net and then the ground. At the time, those things seemed to be the only good things in my life. But I couldn't make any progress if I continued to hold on to them. I had to literally take a leap of faith in order to move on to the next very good thing. And I was able to go back up again and enjoy the security of those good, solid items as many times as I wanted, but they eventually lost their hold on me as I became more familiar and skilled at my "next step" endeavor. They became a few of many good things rather than the only good things. Letting go doesn't mean leaving forever. Letting go can be a part of learning to manage growth, and we can go back and hold on again whenever we want. HTH :)
  11. hillfarm

    My tongue has a hole in it...

    One amusing packing story... So there we are, the ROTC guys have carried all of dd's stuff up to the third floor, including her plants. Her new room mate and suite mate and room mate's mother are present. When I exclaim in horror and disbelief, "What is this in your plant? OMG - it's a dirty sock!", which I proceeded to fish out with one finger and toss into a nearby waste can. I can only imagine what the ROTC guy was thinking - "This freshman girl is a slob!", what the other girls were thinking - "Oh my, this girl may be a problem!" and what the other Mom was thinking - "This girl's mother obviously did not raise her right! I certainly hope that does not rub off on my child!" :crying: It may be a long year.
  12. hillfarm

    My tongue has a hole in it...

    I can also relate. Up until the last minute, dd was still dawdling around, packing a little of this and a little of that. It almost drove me crazy. I told dh how hard it was for me to sit there and watch. I am good at organizing, packing and all that stuff. I knew that she would wait until the last minute and then it would become a family crisis, not just her crisis. Because even if only one of us is at fault, we all pitch in to help avert the crisis, if needed. That has been our dynamic for a long time. It is very hard to switch from that to a sink or swim on your own merit/effort model, even if we know it is best for her. I think that is one of the reasons I am still unsettled regarding her departure. I keep holding my breath, wondering whether she will call at midnight Sunday night or 6:00am Monday morning and tell me she forgot her books or something else really important.
  13. hillfarm

    Move in 2016-17 stories - post them here!

    I finally have something to contribute! We helped dd move in today. The best thing we did was get there early, about 15 minutes before the dorms actually opened. Dh had 95% of her stuff in his truck and had pulled into the parking lot a few minutes ahead of dd and I in a second vehicle. The first thing we saw was him and his 12 new, best friends - a group from the campus ROTC (God bless those fine young men and women!!!). As soon as the doors unlocked about 5 minutes later, they all grabbed something and in the blink of an eye, we were unloaded and everything was delivered to her 3rd floor room. Dh had to go to a meeting at his office right after he helped hook her computer, tv and printer up. I stayed and helped her put things away. Her roommate moved in, and suitemate as well. It seems as if they will be a good group. Then the suitemate had to leave for work and the roommate had to go to a meeting and I left for lunch and a last minute Walmart run, so poor, little dd was left there, all alone. But, by the time I grabbed a bite of lunch and picked up those last few things at Walmart and got back to campus, she and a new friend came down to get them. So not so sad and lonely after all! I feel kind of like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am braced for some kind of panicked communication regarding some critically important item that was left behind. But maybe not - I was happily wrong about her being lonely, so maybe I will be wrong about this too. I was worried I would feel really sad, but for now, all I feel is tired and a bit overwhelmed by the need to get the house back in order after Hurricane DD blasted out.
  14. hillfarm

    Roommate - or lack thereof...

    Just keep an eye out that they do not decide to charge you for a private room. Be sure they know that your dd requested a double, was assigned a room mate and will change to another room or welcome another roommate if one is assigned. It is no fault of hers if none are assigned.
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