What are your thoughts on surrogate motherhood?

[Hannah]

Is it something you would ever consider doing?

[kwickimom]

I would. But I have had 2 miscarriages and probably wouldn't be picked to do one. One of my good friends has done it 4 times after having her 4 kids. One surrogacy was twins. I think its an amazing thing to do for someone.

[trudence1]

I don't think I could give up a child that I had carried for so long. It would feel like it was mine. I think it amazing that some are able to do this.

[happyhomemaker]

I don't think I could give up a child that I had carried for so long. It would feel like it was mine. I think it amazing that some are able to do this.

 

I feel the same way. I don't think I could give up a baby that I had carried whether it was genetically mine or not, but I am in awe of those who can give such a beautiful gift.

[Tita Gidge]

Surrogacy is against my religious beliefs, so it's not something I have or would consider for myself.

 

I have a friend who used a surrogate, who is obviously grateful and thrilled with the end result :)

 

I have another friend who was a surrogate for a family member (of hers) and was happy to do it in that instance, but wouldn't for anyone else.

[kewb]

I think it is an amazing gift to be a surrogate but I don't think I could carry a baby for 9 months and then give it to someone else even though the baby is not biologically mine (assuming donor egg and sperm and I am just the incubator).

[nmoira]

Not me. The medical risk is too great if if I weren't too old.

[Dandelion]

I think it's a wonderful gift to give someone, but I would not consider being a surrogate myself.

[Scarlett]

Is it something you would ever consider doing?

 

 

No.

[T'smom]

I would do it for one of my sibs or dh's sibs. Maybe a cousin or something. Not for a stranger. I would probably feel a special affection for the child which is why I would only do it for family. Because I love being a parent so much, I would do whatever I could to help others in my family have the same experience. I wouldn't donate an egg to anyone though. That would be my baby and I wouldn't give up my baby to anyone!

[Anne]

I would have done it for family, or for a very close friend. I too would feel a special connection with a child that I carried, so would not want to do it for a stranger.

 

Now I'm too old, so it's a moot point!

 

Anne

[HomeschoolMamaOfTwo]

I would consider it and have considered it, but with my health I don't think I would be chosen.

[TravelingChris]

I couldn't do it even if I wanted to because of my age, health, and a prior procedure that reduces the chances of carrying to term. I am totally against it for convenience reasons but could see how someone could do it for a family member or close friend who cannot carry a baby or has some issue that seriously would jeopardize the baby's or mom's health.

[KrissiK]

Nope. I never would. IMO, it's too risky. We're infertile, we adopted all five of our kids. We're good with our family.

 

Edited to ask... Was your question, would I ever hire a surrogate or be a surrogate? The answer is still no. To both.

[Scarlett]

I was almost 35 before I gave birth to my only. I well remember the feeling of fearing I would never get to be a mother. But I could have adopted ( XH would not have but that is another conversation), so to me the surrogate issue seems to be an over the top solution......

 

So many kids needing homes.

[happypamama]

I generally love being pregnant and giving birth; it's been a wonderful, mostly pleasant experience every time. I just don't think I could carry a baby and then not raise him or her. It might depend on the person I was doing it for; I could probably do it for, say, my sister (actually, for her, I am sure I could do it), but while I think it is a wonderful, generous thing to do and have no moral issue with it at all, I don't think I could handle it emotionally for anyone other than my sister, and only then if it wasn't my egg. I could be the oven for my sister (or possibly my brothers' wives), and I'd have to just approach the whole thing that way -- just the oven, giving a gift to someone I love dearly.

 

Now, do I think it's a great thing to do for someone else? Absolutely. For money or not. What a wonderful gift to give someone! I am just not sure I could do it myself.

[ktgrok]

Me? Not in a million years. My pregnancies were not pleasant at all though.

 

I think it's an incredible gift to someone though.

 

 

What she said. No way would I go through pregnancy wihtout getting a baby out of the deal. Plus I'd get too attached. But I'm glad there are people out there that do it. My doula from my last birth is looking to be a surrogate. She just signed up with an agency.

[Ravin]

I think it's an important option to have out there. I wouldn't be a good candidate after 2 c-sections, but it's an "if I physically could I'd be willing."

 

I don't think I'd get too attached, but would feel better about it if I could also pump milk for the baby.

 

At one point I considered egg donation, but changed my mind at the mention of self-injection. I'd need more incentive than a few grand and warm fuzzies for helping strangers to do that.

[ktgrok]

I generally love being pregnant and giving birth; it's been a wonderful, mostly pleasant experience every time. I just don't think I could carry a baby and then not raise him or her. It might depend on the person I was doing it for; I could probably do it for, say, my sister (actually, for her, I am sure I could do it), but while I think it is a wonderful, generous thing to do and have no moral issue with it at all, I don't think I could handle it emotionally for anyone other than my sister, and only then if it wasn't my egg. I could be the oven for my sister (or possibly my brothers' wives), and I'd have to just approach the whole thing that way -- just the oven, giving a gift to someone I love dearly.

 

Now, do I think it's a great thing to do for someone else? Absolutely. For money or not. What a wonderful gift to give someone! I am just not sure I could do it myself.

 

 

You know, I've always said I couldn't do it, but maybe I could for family. Then the kid is still "mine" in a way..just my niece instead of my daughter, for instance. That I could maybe do. I don't think I could for anyone else, not even my best friend though.

[justamouse]

I think it's a disaster waiting to happen.

 

And My Dh would *freak*. No how, no way.

 

I would do it for a family member.

[lil' maids in a row]

Being a surrogate would come with an expense to your own husband and children. I don't think that it is something I would feel right doing.

[Katy]

I think it's a beautiful gift for someone you love and know would be a good parent.

 

I probably wouldn't do it for someone I didn't know.

 

I doubt I would be chosen anyway - too many ovarian cyst issues and chemical pregnancies.

[Mrs Mungo]

I am over 40 and at high risk for breast cancer. So, I would not do it now. But, I would have considered it when I was younger.

[Trish]

Is it something you would ever consider doing?

 

 

Don't those contracts have clauses where you have to agree to abort if the baby has a serious health problem? What becomes of the child if the mother carries to term but the contracting parents refuse it, etc.

[Murmer]

I think it is an incredible option for some people. Sadly the number of adoptable (meaning free for adoption in the us and abroad, not number of orphans) babies is very low and for someone who really desperately wants to do the baby thing it may be one of the few ways for it to happen.

[magnificent_baby]

I think it's wonderful. I may have done it when I was younger, but having had 3 c-sections already, I'd be scared of complications. I would do it for a close family member.

 

Had a friend many years ago who was a surrogate for her friend. After many failed attempts, they tried one more time on the infertile one, at the same time as her friend. It worked, and so did the surrogate's implantation. They delivered on the same day, so she now has "twins".

[Impish]

Never.

[PachiSusan]

No, I would not do it.

[umsami]

I'm too old right now, but I think if I had a sister or close friend who needed a surrogate, and I was younger, I would definitely consider it. I had easy pregnancies and enjoyed being pregnant.

 

I'm adopted, and I know what a blessing my parents view both me and my brother. Perhaps if surrogates or IVF had been available back then, they would have chosen that path.

[Chris in VA]

No, I wouldn't. While I have compassion for couples who want a baby of their own and can't conceive, I don't think a woman's body is "just" an incubator. I think there is a real bond that forms thru the exchange of blood, etc. Something about surrogacy seems wrong to me.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

If my pregnancies weren't so horribly miserable and life threatening, I would do it in a heartbeat. I think it's a wonderful gift, and I think I would be able to emotionally distance myself enough to give the baby to it's *real* parents.

[sassenach]

I had really easy pregnancies, and would have totally done it when I was younger. However, I have a child who had a birth defect, so I wouldn't have ever been chosen. Also, dh said no way (when I hypothetically asked). But if I was in my early/mid 20s, it was biologically not mine, dh was cool with it, and I had previously healthy outcomes, I totally would.

[Melissa in Australia]

no

I sort of think it is unethical

[amy g.]

When I was younger, I told Dh that I was willing to be a surrogate for his brother and Sister-in-law who have never been able to have children.

 

He said he wouldn't be able to handle it if they used corporal punishment or dressed the baby in ugly clothes.

 

Ummm...ok then.

 

I never brought it up again.

[beaners]

I have an acquaintance who has done this for two families. I think she remains in touch with both of them. She had preeclampsia with the first surrogate pregnancy and was induced, and with the second surrogate pregnancy she was induced extremely early after hospitalization for the same thing. She was considering doing it again last I knew, and her OB said she would be fine with another pregnancy. I used the same practice for one of my pregnancies and I think the guy is a quack, so I wouldn't be confident with his decisions.

 

It's not something I would do, but I have no ethical problems with it.

[Lady Florida.]

I'm too old, but I was also not fertile enough to do it when I was younger. I'm fortunate to have been able to get pregnant once. I think it's a wonderful option for those who can do it. It's an understatement to say, but it's a very generous thing to do, even when one is compensated for it.

[HRAAB]

I'm way past the age now so it wouldn't be an option. Even though I had easy pregnancies, I would never have considered it due to the risk involved and the impact it could have on my dh and children. They come first for me. The only circumstance I could imagine considering it would be for a close family member - sibling.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would not, but my pregnancies were challenging. It is such a wonderful thing for people to do thoug, and I know a couple of people who have been surrogates.

[Sukale]

I think I could only do it for my sister. I would want to still be in the child's life.

[itsheresomewhere]

I think it is one of the nicest gifts you could ever give someone.

 

 

[Murphy101]

No. I think it's unethical and it saints my religious beliefs.

[stripe]

Is the question would we USE a surrogate or BE a surrogate?

 

In my case, no to both. I find it disturbing.

[BigMamaBird]

For many reasons, I would not do it.

[momtoamiracle]

No I wouldn't do it. I could never give up a baby I carried, no matter whose it was. It broke my heart to give up a baby I didn't give birth to.

[Veritaserum]

I seriously considered carrying a baby for dh's sister. She has lost five babies. My last pregnancy was complicated, though, so I don't think it's prudent for me to get pregnant again. I do hope she does soon carry a baby to term.

[Impish]

Just to expand on my previous answer.

 

There's no way that I wouldn't get emotionally attached to the baby. Genetics wouldn't matter, that would be MY baby, as far as my heart was concerned. And there is no way I could handle giving up a child. There's nobody on the planet I would want to raise one of my children (aside, of course, from Wolf) as long as I was able to do so. I would be a complete emotional wreck.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

May I ask what people's religious objections to surrogacy is? And what people think is unethical about it? I understand people not doing it because they would feel too attached, but I don't understand what could be unethical about it. Or what religion would have a problem with it. (I'm a Christian.)

[GSOchristie]

Nope, never, ever in a million years. I hate being pregnant, it is a miserable experience from 5 weeks until I deliver, CTS, RLS, constant nausea, sciatica. I have no moral objections to it, but I would never take 8.5 months from my own kids' lives for someone else. I'm glad that some people are willing to do such a nice thing for someone else.

[Runningmom80]

Some of these answers make me sad. My sister had a hard time conceiving, and I would have done it for her in a heartbeat. Id do it for a friend too. I wouldn't do it as a paid thing, but I see nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I had great pregnancies, I carried my twins 38 weeks 4 days, so I think I would be a good candidate, and I never minded being pregnant.

[Mommy22alyns]

I don't know if I would be strong enough to be a surrogate. I did offer egg donation to a good friend once. I think surrogate moms are incredible and so selfless. I have nothing but admiration for them.