Do you feel "at home" where you live?

[m0mmaBuck]

I've never felt "at home" anywhere but where I grew up. I'm not talking about just the house. I'm talking about everything: the house, the geographical area, the people, the culture, etc. I've lived in over 40 different houses, apartments, and dorm rooms in my life. I've called 9 different states "home." I've been in my current state for over 15 years and in my current house for over 12. I still don't feel like this is "home."

 

Does anyone else feel like this? What am I doing wrong?

[Remudamom]

Maybe it's because you've moved around so much? I feel at home in my hometown and in my dh's hometown where I've been for 35 years. I feel at home when we vacation at the beach (vacationed there as a child).

[Crimson Wife]

No, I hate living in CA except for the weather. I would like my house if it cost a normal amount (it would cost probably half if it were located in my hometown and would sit on 2 acres instead of 1/5 acre).

[Donna]

Except for the years I was at college, I have lived within 10 miles of where I grew up. Three years ago we moved back to the same town. I feel at home. I know people and they know me. It is a township rather than a town so everyone is spread out but my kids have teachers who I had in high school and go to school with kids whose parents I went to school with. When we go into a business, we know the people who own it and they know us and our kids.

[Matryoshka]

Yes, but I haven't moved. I've travelled, and lived other places for up to a year, but I currently live about 45 min. from the town I grew up in. This is home.

[xixstar]

I moved pretty much every year 29 years and have lived in 5 different states - so I kinda get that moving. I lived in 5 different placed in this state and pretty much disliked them all until the last one - the county and area we live in now, I really like. I feel at home and connected because I made a good group of friends and I feel like I can breathe in this space. I grew up in wide open spaces, mostly, and live in a high-densitiy state now, so it was a big change. The county I'm in now is more rural but we're still close enough to everything we need.

 

This is my first time owning a house, maybe my last too, but it feels like my home. I dont know, I have issues with it and sometimes consider leaving it, but I really don't want to. I think I'm pretty content to stay here, plus my babies were born upstairs too and that also makes me feel more cemented.

 

I lived in another state before and felt more 'home' like to the area but not as tight to the people. If I could combine that place with where I am now somehow, I think it would be perfect, but since this is what it is, I think it's good enough and home. It's been 5 years now and the longest I've ever lived in one place. I don't really see myself here into old age, or at least, I wish my neighbors weren't so close, but if I'm here in 40 more years I won't be surprised either.

[Lady Florida.]

I do, but I grew up here. Well, from 13 on at least. I felt that way when I lived in Georgia though. I loved living in the Atlanta area. I was young and single and there was so much to do there, unlike here. It still wasn't "home" though. I came back, met dh here, and am still here.

[mommymilkies]

No. I have moved more times than my age in years, but here I do not feel at home or welcome.

[hsmom2011]

n/m

[klmama]

I do. In fact, I feel more at home here than I do in my hometown. I have a lot of memories there, but no close friends or family. Here, I have both, and I think that's why it feels like home. I "fit" here. It probably helps that I've lived in the same house for 18 years.

[Jen in NY]

I finally felt at home once I moved away from Long Island, which is where I grew up. Weird, huh?

When I was growing up I could. not. wait! for the summer because my parents sent me upstate for six weeks of music camp bliss every year. There was no traffic, no one was in a hurry, and it was just so darned beautiful. It took me many years, but about a decade ago I finally moved upstate for real ... and I *heart* it. Yeah, it snows, a lot, and my husband will probably want to move down south at some point .... but I've already found my paradise. Now if we could just do something about the property taxes..... :rolleyes:

[amyable]

I finally felt at home once I moved away from Long Island, which is where I grew up. Weird, huh?

 

I get that ... I lived in the same state/area (not too far from LI) for 20+ years, but once I drove to my new state to visit grad schools, I knew I was "home" here. I even felt like I was home when I first stepped into this house...but after a year or so it didn't feel like that anymore, and now I can't wait to get out. First the house felt "off" and now the state or at least this general area of the state. This area has changed a lot in the last 15 years. I would love, love to finally feel *home*.

[fraidycat]

Yes and No.

 

Where we live now, I've grown comfortable and have made some wonderful friends, so it feels like home in that respect.

 

However, HOME home, will always be my hometown/farm. It changes so much between visits there, but it still feels like home whenever I go back.

[dangermom]

Yes, I love it here. I think this is the best place to live in California, pretty much, and we've been here 13 years and hope never to leave (unless of course someone offers me a year abroad!).

[Perogi]

We've been where we are for 18 months and I can't settle in and feel at home. This is 4th different place we've lived and I've never had such a hard time. I oddly feel most at home in dh's hometown.

[dbmamaz]

i've lived in virginia for 18 years. it will never feel like home. i felt most at home when i was living around Penn State after I dropped out. I also felt very at home for a while on the commune in MO. i dont know if we'll get to move in the next decade, and dh is promising we'll retire to canada . . . who knows if i'll feel at home there, or not.

[Mrs Mungo]

I feel the same way.

[Heather in Neverland]

I am comfortable and happy here... my dh and kids are here... I love my job... I love my house... I have good friends... does that make this home? For me it does (even though it is not even my native country). So I guess I would ask "What is home supposed to FEEL like?" Is it the weather? Your house? Family you miss? A certain culture you miss?

 

I think determining what would make it "feel" like home might go a long way towards helping you be more at home.

 

For me, the very fact that it is so different here from "home" is the best part!

[Alenee]

Yes and No.

 

Where we live now, I've grown comfortable and have made some wonderful friends, so it feels like home in that respect.

 

However, HOME home, will always be my hometown/farm. It changes so much between visits there, but it still feels like home whenever I go back.

 

This, exactly. When I'm here, I miss "there". When I'm there, I begin to miss "here". The grass is always greener! ;)

[PrairieSong]

We've lived in the same town almost all of our marriage. I remember feeling like a stranger at first but now we have so many friends, love our parish, and we aren't really that far from our hometowns. So yes, I feel at home.

[dbmamaz]

for me, tho - i mean, its the south, and i'm NOT a southerner. my mom was from NY and my dad from OH and i grew up in PA and spent most of my life there and the culture here still feels stifling. as do the summers. the ridiculous weather they call winter fills me with disdain for the native's lack of constitution. I am convinced that my husband's inability to find a respectful work environment is because its the old boys network here. While i have made some friends, my kids have struggled. I hate the strong value of conformity, the prejudice, the incessant talk about the beach . .. i just miss the north so much.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I understand completely. We have lived in our current area for 13 years and I still feel like an outsider. No history, no family ties, nothing that makes me feel comfortable. I would love to move away from here.

 

When I was going to college in western MA I felt at home. I loved the area, the people, and the ease of getting to Boston (which is my favorite city).

[Freckles]

No - I find it very hard to live in CA. It's so busy, aggressive, and expensive. I feel the most at home in Tx, Ok, or TN. I love smaller towns with little to no traffic. I fit into more conservative areas of the country. I'm an oddball to say the least around here. I've moved almost 20 times in the last 16 years. I lived in other countries as well. I miss the South everyday.

[HRAAB]

I feel very at home where I live. Of course, not only do I live in the same town I grew up in, I also live in the same house. Someday when the girls have all moved out, we will need to downsize. I hope I can adjust.

[Isabella]

Maybe I'm strange, but I feel at home wherever I am! Almost every place I travel to, I could call home at the drop of a hat. I have no strong connection to family (dysfunctional), or to where my parents lived. I feel that home is where my heart is, and my nuclear family are. So, my heart is situated within me, and is not pulled in any one direction, and that means wherever I am, if my kids & dh are there, it could easily be home. We have been in our current home for 16yrs, had 7 moves before that, and this, and each of my previous home, certainly felt like home. But there was no problem leaving them either. This is the longest we've stayed in any one spot, and I love it, but wouldn't hesitate if my dh suggested moving. I guess I look on it as an adventure.

[Chelli]

No. But that is because everyone in this town grew up here, went to college, then came back here to live. The friendships and cliques are all held over from high school, so we are the outsiders even after living here for 7 years. When we lived in Denver, I also didn't know anyone, but most people had moved to the area so it was easier to make friends.

 

That being said, the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas will always be home.

[edelweiss]

Maybe I'm strange, but I feel at home wherever I am! Almost every place I travel to, I could call home at the drop of a hat. I have no strong connection to family (dysfunctional), or to where my parents lived. I feel that home is where my heart is, and my nuclear family are. So, my heart is situated within me, and is not pulled in any one direction, and that means wherever I am, if my kids & dh are there, it could easily be home. We have been in our current home for 16yrs, had 7 moves before that, and this, and each of my previous home, certainly felt like home. But there was no problem leaving them either. This is the longest we've stayed in any one spot, and I love it, but wouldn't hesitate if my dh suggested moving. I guess I look on it as an adventure.

 

 

I was just about to post something similar. DH and I have lived in 5 different places before our current city and, after a period of adjustment, I've felt at home in all of them. I'm not that close to my family of origin (and either is DH), so our little family is "home" to us. It really doesn't matter where we live. Also, I'm an introvert and tend to stay at home most of the time (aside from traveling which we all love to do), so my "outside" environment doesn't really matter much to me. I could stay here forever (I do love our house!), but I would be fine moving as well.

[momtoamiracle]

No. But that is because everyone in this town grew up here, went to college, then came back here to live. The friendships and cliques are all held over from high school, so we are the outsiders even after living here for 7 years. When we lived in Denver, I also didn't know anyone, but most people had moved to the area so it was easier to make friends.

 

That being said, the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas will always be home.

 

 

My dh is from Northern Arkansas!

 

 

 

I live in the state I'm from, in a different town. I feel at home. I've also lived in two other states and felt at home. I doubt if I would feel at home in the north or out west tho. Weather is too different. I would never feel happy with cold or snow. It makes me so very miserable.

 

I love the south and I think I would feel at home anywhere here.

[Garga]

No, but I'm not sure why not, and now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know where I would feel at home. I've also recently realized that most of my friendships aren't as deep as I've been telling myself they are. DH recently came to the same conclusion, independently from me. Blech.

[nmoira]

Yes. I love living in Portland.

[KungFuPanda]

Fine, I'll be the oddball. Yes I DO feel at home. I've felt at home everywhere I've lived including duty stations that only lasted 3 months. I'm just a very adaptable person both physically and emotionally. I assimilate fairly quickly and easily. I even felt at home in Legionnaire's barracks when I lived there for a month in France. It had a private beach on the Rivierra. I could have happily stayed there.

[MicheleinMN]

I've lived here for 20 years, but do not feel at home here (Minnesota). I spent a month in Oregon a couple of years ago, and DID feel at home there. (I also lived all over the place growing up. I went to four high schools in 4 years.) Most of my memories are from living in Oregon, maybe that's why I felt at home there.

[Dandelion]

I think I do, but I've spent much of my life moving around too. So maybe I don't really know what "home" is supposed to feel like. ;)

 

By age 18, I had moved 20 times (that includes moving back and forth between the U.S. and Germany several times) and I've moved 7 more times since then. Colorado feels more like home to me than anywhere else I've lived. This is the longest I've ever lived in one place (12 years) so maybe that's why. I do think that not being able to establish roots somewhere at a young age plays into this.

 

DH, on the other hand, has a very definite sense of "home". He grew up on a dairy farm in Wisconsin that has been in his family for generations. He lived in the same house from birth to age 17, and we go back to visit (and sleep in his childhood bedroom) every summer. All eight of his brothers and sisters live within a 50-mile radius of the family home (as well as oodles of uncles, aunts, and extended family). The family reunions overwhelm me. I don't think I will ever have the sense of "home" that DH has.

[gaillardia]

I lived in the same area (within 80 miles) my whole life. Four years ago we moved 1200 miles away. I've gotten used to living here but it is not home. I hate the summers which start in May and last til September with 100+ degree days for months and not much cool down at night. That's what gets me.

Home...that feeling you get when you are headed home and it feels a relief to walk in the door. I don't have that. The people are very nice to us that we know at church and in the community, but even though we've made some friends, we are still just too weird for most people, even church and other home schoolers.

So I can't catch the meaning of feeling at home when I'm home, even though I've gotten used to living here. We moved to a different house after two years here so that didn't help cuz I thought that other place was where I was going to be for a quite a while. I still have most of my art packed, and a ton of books. I keep telling myself we're not staying so I never completely unpack or get rid of.

Where do I feel at home? The beaches on the east coast, Florida, Virginia...

[gaillardia]

double post!

[MistyMountain]

.

[MolleenCarie]

I don't feel at home here in Okinawa yet, but we have only been here for ten months. I expect to feel at home in another 2-8 months. (It has taken me 9-18 months to feel at home at each duty station in the past.)

[lynn]

No, I feel more like southern hostage. The only place that feels like home to me is New England. However, to mix things up a bit when we lived in Tucson I felt at home the moment we stepped off the plane for our first house hunting trip. We only lived there for 2 years but it felt like a second home to me. I've lived here in the south for 20 years and it just doesn't cut it to be called home.

[Joker]

I didn't think I did, but the last time I went back to where I grew up and where I considered 'home' to be I hated it. It is no longer home and where I am now is becoming that place for me.

[Laura Corin]

Some places just fit. I didn't really feel 'at home' in most of the places I lived as an adult. I do here, however, even though it is culturally quite different to where I grew up.

 

Laura

[8circles]

Maybe I'm strange, but I feel at home wherever I am! Almost every place I travel to, I could call home at the drop of a hat. I have no strong connection to family (dysfunctional), or to where my parents lived. I feel that home is where my heart is, and my nuclear family are. So, my heart is situated within me, and is not pulled in any one direction, and that means wherever I am, if my kids & dh are there, it could easily be home. We have been in our current home for 16yrs, had 7 moves before that, and this, and each of my previous home, certainly felt like home. But there was no problem leaving them either. This is the longest we've stayed in any one spot, and I love it, but wouldn't hesitate if my dh suggested moving. I guess I look on it as an adventure.

 

 

This. Every word.

[Heather in Neverland]

Maybe I'm strange, but I feel at home wherever I am! Almost every place I travel to, I could call home at the drop of a hat. I have no strong connection to family (dysfunctional), or to where my parents lived. I feel that home is where my heart is, and my nuclear family are. So, my heart is situated within me, and is not pulled in any one direction, and that means wherever I am, if my kids & dh are there, it could easily be home. We have been in our current home for 16yrs, had 7 moves before that, and this, and each of my previous home, certainly felt like home. But there was no problem leaving them either. This is the longest we've stayed in any one spot, and I love it, but wouldn't hesitate if my dh suggested moving. I guess I look on it as an adventure.

 

 

 

You said it so much better than me. I agree with this totally! Wherever my dh and kids are is home for me.

[Mom in High Heels]

Wherever my family is is home to me. I may not exactly like the place, but I can always find something that makes it feel like home. My dad was in the Navy when I grew up, so I moved a lot. My mom never felt home anywhere but where she grew up (she lives within 30 or so miles of it now). When James Bond and I got married, I assumed we'd set down roots and that was that, and then he joined the Army and we started moving again. Home is where we make it together. My mom is constantly calling where she lives "home" when referring to us, as in 'when are you coming home?' and it always feels weird, because that's not home to me. Almost all of my family lives there, but it's not home for me. One day we will settle down and that will be home. James Bond and I make home.

[Giraffe]

I never felt at home until we came here. It's strange - the culture, the language, the people are all entirely different from the US and what I grew up with, but as soon as I landed I loved it. I like the US, but even as a child I felt out of sync. I still feel that way here, sometimes, but not like I did there, and I moved a lot and saw many different cities and regions. I can't explain it and have given up trying. I just hope I can stay here forever.

[Pawz4me]

Yes, I feel at home here. I've always lived within 20 miles of where we live now, so maybe that's it. It's what I know, I'm grounded here. But I've been in other areas of the country and Canada where I've instinctively (or maybe intuitively) felt at home, and other areas where I knew w/o a doubt I didn't belong. Hard to explain, because there are no specifics I could point to in either case. Just a deep down feeling or vibe of "I could/couldn't live here."

[mom@shiloh]

To the OP, I understand how you feel. We've moved often, and for us it comes down to finding a church "home". When we have a church family who knows us, and likes us anyway, we feel at home. Right now we're part of a church where we have that. We lived near family for 11 years before coming here, and even though we like our families and get along well, we feel more at home here.

[Lisbeth]

No, because I am not a neighborhood girl. I want a farm with a lot of acreage and privacy. Not a cookie cutter neighborhood with boring, perfect yards.

[jenangelcat]

I did for the first year we lived here and now I definitely do not. If I thought our house could sell and we could find something elsewhere I'd move in a heartbeat.

[Tranquility7]

Funny timing for this question. DH and I have been looking at houses and are planning to move within our town.... but the problem is, we simply don't like our town. It isn't home for either of us, and frankly there isn't much to like about this town - it is fairly tacky and has no personality, so we are having a hard time getting excited about any of the houses (even though some are beautiful, and definitely an improvement over our current one). We have been here for eight years (DH for nine), and moving to a different town isn't really an option, since we have various extended family around (who have moved here to be near us). But moving to a different house and committing to a brand new mortgage makes me feel so *trapped* here, you know, like I'm really stuck here for the next 20+ years!

 

I'm trying to change my thinking on the issue, reminding myself of all that I have to be thankful for (not the least of which IS a nice house, and BOTH of our sets of parents living nearby), and especially that we are really just pilgrims through this land... our home will be in heaven.

[lavender's green]

I do feel fairly at home here. I sort of think I was born for the south. :D There are some things that throw me for a loop, and I wish we lived in a city with more stuff to do, but those things are just icing on the cake. I like it here and I'd be happy to stay in NC for life (might retire to the mountains or ocean, though. I'm in the middle now.)

 

I don't quite feel at home in MI anymore, and I don't know why, because it's only been 3 years since I left. Sure, it feels familiar, but it doesn't quite feel right. Maybe it's because my FOO is crazy and I'm always on edge when I visit.

 

I did not feel at all home in either Portland, OR or New England. It was a cultural thing. I could have gotten used to Portland if I had stayed for a few years, but I knew from the moment I got to New England that I would never fit in, and always be unhappy for it. For me, New England is a lovely area to visit, but not actually live.