I didnt know that it wasnt supposed to ....

[theelfqueen]

What things did it take you a long time to learn were or were not supposed to work a certain  way? 

The tampon conversation reminded me of my big one- I didn't know that everybody doesnt get terrible rashes from sanitary pads and pantyliners til after my Oldest was born and a helpful nurse saw me reacting to the postpartum pads and asked if I was allergic. 

Learned here that medicine for yeast infections isn't supposed to burn and be miserable.

So those are my over sharing examples. 

[popmom]

OP, that sounds miserable! Thank God for good nurses.
 

It took me a stupid long time to figure out that not everyone breastfeeds. TWINS. The few women in my family that had babies as I was growing up BF, so I thought EVERYONE did. When I became pregnant for the first time, my sweet cousin gave me a copy of The Womanly Art… I read it twice. 
 

Then at the hospital after my twins were born,  the pediatrician said at one point, “Well, I’ve known of women who BFed twins…” I was like…wait a minute. 
 

And the nurses sent me home with cases of preemie formula. lol It sat in a closet until they started eating rice cereal because even when I got sick of nursing at 3 months, I couldn’t get them to take a bottle! It was such a battle I gave up and continued to bf. 

Edited June 14, 2022 by popmom

[theelfqueen]

And we won't go into things in my house I didn't know i was supposed to clean.... cause those exist. 

[Carrie12345]

I grew up with a mom who worked telephone customer service for a big company. I believed that exposure gave me a terrific professional phone voice.  Until a boss told me her husband said I sounded like a phone sex operator when he called.
On the bright side, I always felt like I had a back up income option until technology changed.

[HomeAgain]

I didn't know adult shoes came in different fits.  I have narrow, small feet with high arches, and am usually just glad to find something in my length.  Dh saw what I was wearing for running shoes back years ago and had me try on a few pairs at his favorite store.  I nearly cried.  It felt like they were meant for me.  (I also ordered 4 pairs of the same shoe the next year so that I could always rotate one out)

I also didn't know that palm oil wasn't supposed to hurt the roof of your mouth.  I thought everyone else just dealt with it because it's so pervasive in foods, but yeah.  Food's not supposed to hurt you.

[KungFuPanda]

I thought baking soda toothpaste tore up everyone’s mouth and they were toughing it out to get their teeth super clean. 😝

[Indigo Blue]

I didn’t know the little silicone gaskets on Yeti Rambler lids weren’t supposed to never be removed. Yes, you take a fork and pop it off, clean with hot, soapy water and let it completely air dry. You store the tumbler with the lid off. This is import. You can get sick from not cleaning those. 
 

File this under “things you didn’t know you were supposed to clean”.

 

@theelfqueenobviously I need to know about these things you didn’t know you were supposed to clean. Now I’m worried. 😬😂

Edited June 14, 2022 by Indigo Blue

[Indigo Blue]

Generally, my life is filled with “oh, I didn’t know I was supposed to do that”. Everyone else just seems to “know” somehow. 🤷‍♀️

[scholastica]

2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I grew up with a mom who worked telephone customer service for a big company. I believed that exposure gave me a terrific professional phone voice.  Until a boss told me her husband said I sounded like a phone sex operator when he called.
On the bright side, I always felt like I had a back up income option until technology changed.

Did you ask how her husband knew what phone sex operators sounded like?

[Carrie12345]

2 minutes ago, scholastica said:

Did you ask how her husband knew what phone sex operators sounded like?

I think there were plenty of commercials in the late 80s/early 90s that let us all know.  But I did NOT know that’s how I sounded!

[Brittany1116]

I never knew leotards and one piece swimsuits weren't supposed to hurt until after college when a doctor said I had a very long torso. Then I realized all body parts came in various lengths. 

[theelfqueen]

I didn't know womens socks could be purchased in larger sizes til I was in my late 30s. I wear a size 9.5/10 shoe - socks that actually fit were like a revelation! 

[Spryte]

I didn’t know to unscrew the cover of the tub overflow and clean it periodically. I also didn’t know to reseal the tile on the shower walls periodically. Aaaack!

I could go on and on, here.

[skimomma]

I just went to get an oil change with a car I have owned for two years.  Dh usually handles oil changes these days but it is not like I don't know my way around a car, normally.  I even used to change my own oil.  And until this car, I had a string of cars that required frequent fluid checks so I was always under the hood.  But today, at the oil change place, I could not find the hood release.  It is in an odd spot and the mechanic had to point it out to me.  How could I own a car for TWO years and not have ever once opened the hood?!?  

[TheReader]

I was ridiculously old (I feel) before I learned you are supposed to shave things like legs & armpits. 

I was on about my 3rd kid before I heard anything about shaving/trimming any other areas one might wish to shave/trim. 

I also learned the hard way, but at a reasonable-ish age I guess, that pads shouldn't be worn while swimming. 

(side note: if you're sensing a theme here, yes, my relationship with my mother is about what you'd expect given all of the above, and a whole host of other things.....)

I was also crazy-old before I realized that you can cook bacon for.ev.er. and it won't really actually *crisp* (dry out/crisp) until you remove it from the pan and let the grease drain off. My poor husband, the first time I tried to cook bacon....."it's not getting crispy".....it was the crispiest bacon on earth when he came over and snatched it out of the pan, once he got it out onto a plate/paper towel.  Oops. 

[TheReader]

23 minutes ago, Spryte said:

I didn’t know to unscrew the cover of the tub overflow and clean it periodically. I also didn’t know to reseal the tile on the shower walls periodically. Aaaack!

I could go on and on, here.

Oh, my list of those things is crazy long too. 

Like, washing machines and dishwashers both sometimes have filters you're supposed to clean....???? Egads. 

[Spryte]

4 minutes ago, TheReader said:

Oh, my list of those things is crazy long too. 

Like, washing machines and dishwashers both sometimes have filters you're supposed to clean....???? Egads. 

Yes! Those were also epiphanies when I learned them. There are many more, too.

Our current house has an extra HVAC unit in the attic, and I didn’t know that we have to flush the condensation line periodically to prevent clogs. That was a big expensive oops that involved water dripping through the ceiling, new flooring and ceiling, paint, you name it.

We now have little water detectors that notify us of leaks everywhere, because I’m so paranoid about undetected leaks. 🤣

[Heartstrings]

10 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

And we won't go into things in my house I didn't know i was supposed to clean.... cause those exist. 

Like the dishwasher filter that I learned existed on tiktok?  After 20 years of owning dishwashers?   

[Tree Frog]

Until I had a rental car a few years ago, I thought all the gas tank releases were in the car. DD and I looked inside the driver's side door and looked for a release on the tank cover, but couldn't figure out how to open the thing. We looked for the owners' manual, then just googled how to open a VW gas tank. We felt so silly that all we needed to do was push the cover and it popped open. I'm sure anyone else getting gas at the time had a huge chuckle at us!

[fraidycat]

I didn't know that it wasn't normal to feel nauseous and bloated all the time, especially after meals until I accidentally discovered my gluten intolerance. I spent my teens and 20s "feeling fat" (when I really wasn't) and especially hated dressing up for dressy events because it was uncomfortable - turns out it was bloat all along.

[MEmama]

2 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

I didn't know that it wasn't normal to feel nauseous and bloated all the time, especially after meals until I accidentally discovered my gluten intolerance. I spent my teens and 20s "feeling fat" (when I really wasn't) and especially hated dressing up for dressy events because it was uncomfortable - turns out it was bloat all along.

Same, except for fibroids and an enlarged uterus. Doctors like to pretend these things are normal and insist we should just deal with it because we’re women…but nope. Not normal or okay at all. 

[AnneGG]

I was today years old when I realized that there’s a little arrow on the dashboard gas gauge that points to the side the gas tank on. 

[AnneGG]

I just learned you can use a gift card for TJ Maxx at Marshall’s or Home Goods.
 

I was pretty happy about that. 😄

[kbutton]

1 hour ago, Tree Frog said:

Until I had a rental car a few years ago, I thought all the gas tank releases were in the car. DD and I looked inside the driver's side door and looked for a release on the tank cover, but couldn't figure out how to open the thing. We looked for the owners' manual, then just googled how to open a VW gas tank. We felt so silly that all we needed to do was push the cover and it popped open. I'm sure anyone else getting gas at the time had a huge chuckle at us!

I just had this same thing happen a few weeks ago but with a different make and model. All the cars I'd had that didn't need to be released from inside had a tab on the tank door, and our current car has nothing at all. 

[lauraw4321]

14 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

 

Learned here that medicine for yeast infections isn't supposed to burn 

Ummm. What? It’s not? What the heck???

[EmilyGF]

I didn't know that not everyone's scalp flakes all the time in an itchy way.

All my childhood, my mom nagged me to stop picking my scalp. I'd pick it to the point that it bled sometimes. I just couldn't stop. She took me to the dermatologist for special creams and shampoos and nothing helped. I thought I had no self control.

In my 20s, I tried the whole "no-shampoo" thing and my scalp stopped itching. Now I use a detergent-free shampoo and don't have any desire to itch my scalp. If I go to a hotel and use shampoo for a day or two, my scalp immediately gets itchy.

I always thought I had no willpower. I just was sensitive to detergent on my scalp. 

Emily

[popmom]

3 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

Like the dishwasher filter that I learned existed on tiktok?  After 20 years of owning dishwashers?   

Well, older dishwashers had grinders like a sink disposal. When dishwashers became all about being the quietest, the manufacturers removed them! Or so I was told by an appliance salesman recently. But I do remember that loud grinding noise…

I make my husband clean it out. 😂

[athena1277]

Most of my “I didn’t know…” things are related to technology lately.  It’s usually seeing my teens do something that I learn how to do something in a much less complicated way.

[fairfarmhand]

5 hours ago, Tree Frog said:

Until I had a rental car a few years ago, I thought all the gas tank releases were in the car. DD and I looked inside the driver's side door and looked for a release on the tank cover, but couldn't figure out how to open the thing. We looked for the owners' manual, then just googled how to open a VW gas tank. We felt so silly that all we needed to do was push the cover and it popped open. I'm sure anyone else getting gas at the time had a huge chuckle at us!

MY dd had to use my car awhile back and texted me "where is the thing to open the gas tank?" and I said "On the ends of your arms." 

16 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

 

Learned here that medicine for yeast infections isn't supposed to burn and be miserable.

 

I was shocked to learn that too. 

[Wheres Toto]

8 hours ago, TheReader said:

I was ridiculously old (I feel) before I learned you are supposed to shave things like legs & armpits. 

I was on about my 3rd kid before I heard anything about shaving/trimming any other areas one might wish to shave/trim. 

I was about 45 years old when I learned I didn't have to shave anything if I didn't want to.   😉

[TheReader]

36 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

I was about 45 years old when I learned I didn't have to shave anything if I didn't want to.   😉

LOL! Yea, true. 

(sorry, got interrupted) 

You are right, of course, I don't have to if I don't want to. I mostly do prefer being un-hairy, most places, despite that I also prefer not shaving. (I keep looking into, and balking at the price of, laser hair removal....). As I've not found a good alternative, I stick with the shaving.....but yes, only when I personally feel like it. 

 

Edited June 14, 2022 by TheReader

[TexasProud]

I didn't realize you are actually supposed to use the tools on the vacuum cleaner until the first year of marriage when I saw my husband using them to clean corners, drapes, etc.  I had no idea. Thought you just moved it around the floor.  Oh...and I guess you are supposed to move furniture, too.  Had no idea as a young bride. 

Edited June 14, 2022 by TexasProud

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

I didn't realize you are actually supposed to use the tools on the vacuum cleaner until the first year of marriage when I saw my husband using them to clean corners, drapes, etc.  I had no idea. Thought you just moved it around the floor.  Oh...and I guess you are supposed to move furniture, too.  Had no idea as a young bride. 

This reminds me when DH and I first moved in together and borrowed his parents' vacuum.  I had never vacuumed before and didn't know the bag needed to be emptied.  We returned the vacuum right away but I didn't empty the bag.  My MIL already didn't like me and made such a big deal about us returning the vacuum in that condition - as if we broke the vacuum.  At the time, I was so ashamed and embarrassed.  Now, years later, I realize that it couldn't have been that bad - we only had a tiny apartment and I vacuumed once.  She just loved to complain about me (still does).  But it was embarrassing to not know something so basic.  My dad always did the vacuuming at home and didn't want me doing it - he had terrible anxiety and thought I was going to get hurt (I was only 19 when DH and I moved in together and then got married). 

 

ETA -  I meant change the bag, not empty it!  Oops.

 

 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Kassia

[Slache]

That pineapple isn't supposed to hurt.

I didn't know about yeast infection cream either.

[alisoncooks]

5 hours ago, popmom said:

Well, older dishwashers had grinders like a sink disposal. When dishwashers became all about being the quietest, the manufacturers removed them! Or so I was told by an appliance salesman recently. But I do remember that loud grinding noise…

I make my husband clean it out. 😂

Well, my ancient dishwasher makes a grindy noise. Does that mean it’s okay that I’ve never cleaned it out, then?? 😳

[popmom]

9 minutes ago, alisoncooks said:

Well, my ancient dishwasher makes a grindy noise. Does that mean it’s okay that I’ve never cleaned it out, then?? 😳

I think you're good! 

[LaughingCat]

41 minutes ago, Kassia said:

This reminds me when DH and I first moved in together and borrowed his parents' vacuum.  I had never vacuumed before and didn't know the bag needed to be emptied.  We returned the vacuum right away but I didn't empty the bag.  My MIL already didn't like me and made such a big deal about us returning the vacuum in that condition - as if we broke the vacuum.  At the time, I was so ashamed and embarrassed.  Now, years later, I realize that it couldn't have been that bad - we only had a tiny apartment and I vacuumed once.  She just loved to complain about me (still does).  But it was embarrassing to not know something so basic.  My dad always did the vacuuming at home and didn't want me doing it - he had terrible anxiety and thought I was going to get hurt (I was only 19 when DH and I moved in together and then got married). 

 

 

FWIW I vacuumed all the time growing up and I would never ever have considered emptying the bag -- when the bag got full, you took it off, threw it away and put a new bag on.  

[TexasProud]

When I went to college in the 80's, I didn't realize you were not supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day.  I was in an organization where there was horrified lectures that I had violated this...   Not sure it is even a thing now. Is it?

[Tap]

I didn’t know about the amount of bleeding after baby. I remember being really shocked and confused when the nurses gave me heavy thick menstrual pads post delivery. It didn’t take long to figure it out, but i had only used tampons and thin pads  for extra protection. My mother and sisters were ridiculously private about anything related to the body so no one told me about anything related to pregnancy, delivery or after. I just learned what I could from books and lamaze class. I was the 1st of my friends to have a baby and had no other way to learn. I didn’t even know how to take care of a new infant. I am the youngest child and didn’t have younger siblings. I wasn’t around infants, just a few toddlers.  I just figured it out from what I saw on TV and books. I was embarrassed to ask anyone for help. The first few months was a steep learning curve. 

[Kassia]

7 minutes ago, LaughingCat said:

FWIW I vacuumed all the time growing up and I would never ever have considered emptying the bag -- when the bag got full, you took it off, threw it away and put a new bag on.  

oh, that's what I meant!  We should have changed the bag or offered to do it or something like that...she made it seem like we returned the vacuum with the bag ready to explode.  

[theelfqueen]

8 hours ago, AnneGG said:

I just learned you can use a gift card for TJ Maxx at Marshall’s or Home Goods.
 

I was pretty happy about that. 😄

I want to say also Sierra Trading Co. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

..shut off at $5.

A gas pump that is. I had graduated from high school and was getting ready to leave for college before I found out that you could fill a gas tank no matter how much gas the tank needed. I grew up poor and the only way I knew how to pay for and pump gas was to take the change or dollars into the gas station and ask for the pump to be set to the amount of money I had been given; we could never go over because what I had been given by my parents was it. Sometimes it would be a couple of quarters, sometimes as much as $5. Never over $5. The money was usually scrounged from somewhere, sometimes from recycling aluminum cans, and was very dear.

The first time I went with my then boyfriend to get gas and it went over $5, I had a panic attack and began telling him to stop the pump, that it went over. I was concerned about how we were going to pay for the gas and I was certain we were going to be arrested for stealing. Not only did he fill the gas tank but he bought Cokes and M&Ms. It was such a treat. I thought he was rich.

I had also never taken a Sunday drive before then. Driving for driving's sake was something my family never did. I grew up in the shadow of Pike's Peak and had never been in the mountains before that summer. I remember the first drive we went on through the country. It was breathtaking. I had no idea there was so much open space and forest.

My boyfriend loved it because I was a cheap date. He could take me anywhere and it was new to me and I appreciated it. 

I also thought the local zoo was owned by the school. The only time I ever went to the zoo was on a school field trip. We rode up in school busses, parked with all of the other school busses, and traveled in groups with teachers ergo owned by the school. I was in my early 20s (married with my first child) before I realized the zoo was a public place and anybody could go any time they wanted. All through my 20s, I would visit every zoo I came across.
 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Granny_Weatherwax

[Ann.without.an.e]

6 hours ago, EmilyGF said:

I didn't know that not everyone's scalp flakes all the time in an itchy way.

All my childhood, my mom nagged me to stop picking my scalp. I'd pick it to the point that it bled sometimes. I just couldn't stop. She took me to the dermatologist for special creams and shampoos and nothing helped. I thought I had no self control.

In my 20s, I tried the whole "no-shampoo" thing and my scalp stopped itching. Now I use a detergent-free shampoo and don't have any desire to itch my scalp. If I go to a hotel and use shampoo for a day or two, my scalp immediately gets itchy.

I always thought I had no willpower. I just was sensitive to detergent on my scalp. 

Emily

 

would love the name of your shampoo please

ds has this issue and I’ve tried everything to no avail 

[Dianthus]

49 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

would love the name of your shampoo please

ds has this issue and I’ve tried everything to no avail 

Have you tried nizoral

[Clarita]

I was in college when I discovered the racks in the oven weren't stuck there. 

I was in my 20's when my now husband told me I could put dishes in the dishwasher dirty. Related therefore I didn't find out until I was married for a bit that I needed to clean the filter in the dishwasher (like what?! there's a filter on this thing?!). 

(There's a reason no offense was taken when my MIL said "You and my son suck at cleaning, just hire help.")

[easypeasy]

3 hours ago, Tap said:

I didn’t know about the amount of bleeding after baby. I remember being really shocked and confused when the nurses gave me heavy thick menstrual pads post delivery. It didn’t take long to figure it out, but i had only used tampons and thin pads  for extra protection. My mother and sisters were ridiculously private about anything related to the body so no one told me about anything related to pregnancy, delivery or after. I just learned what I could from books and lamaze class. I was the 1st of my friends to have a baby and had no other way to learn. I didn’t even know how to take care of a new infant. I am the youngest child and didn’t have younger siblings. I wasn’t around infants, just a few toddlers.  I just figured it out from what I saw on TV and books. I was embarrassed to ask anyone for help. The first few months was a steep learning curve. 

lol. I knew about the bleeding after a baby BUT had had a c-section, so thought I was in the clear! 😁

At some point, when I realized the amount of blood gushing out of me, I called the nurse in a panic. She looked at me like I had three heads (seriously, WHY do nurses look at patients like this? Surely they've seen everything by this point? No need to make people feel even more stupid and out of place than they already do!) and gave me a very curt biology lesson.

So, I'd known about the amount of bleeding after a vaginal birth, but had honestly just thought it was associated to the v.a.g.i.n.a./birth canal itself - not to the violence going on in the uterus, which happens no matter how the baby exits the womb. 😶😳

[Lawyer&Mom]

17 minutes ago, easypeasy said:

So, I'd known about the amount of bleeding after a vaginal birth, but had honestly just thought it was associated to the v.a.g.i.n.a./birth canal itself - not to the violence going on in the uterus, which happens no matter how the baby exits the womb. 😶😳

Okay, so I knew I would bleed after a c-section (because they covered it in my birthing class) but I totally thought I would avoid the painful postpartum sex because my vagina would not be recovering from trauma.  Nope!  It’s shifting hormones that cause postpartum vaginal pain!  Such fun!

[Clarita]

I didn't know how different child birth experiences could be. 

I was told again and again with my first that water doesn't break like it does in the movies (such vast quantity). Nope my water broke like it does in the movies in giant puddle fashion. What is different from the movies is it keeps coming in real life so you are continually making puddles at that point. 

[popmom]

6 hours ago, TexasProud said:

When I went to college in the 80's, I didn't realize you were not supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day.  I was in an organization where there was horrified lectures that I had violated this...   Not sure it is even a thing now. Is it?

Sneakers are exempt from this rule in my opinion, but otherwise I am hardline on this. After Labor Day no white shoes until Memorial Day. Some say Easter, but I’m old fashioned. No white shoes (or pants or dresses) before Memorial Day. 🙂 And I live in the hot southeast. You don’t get a pass just because it’s 90 degrees in October. lol

[popmom]

2 hours ago, Clarita said:

I didn't know how different child birth experiences could be. 

I was told again and again with my first that water doesn't break like it does in the movies (such vast quantity). Nope my water broke like it does in the movies in giant puddle fashion. What is different from the movies is it keeps coming in real life so you are continually making puddles at that point. 

This happened to me with my second pregnancy! I was fine one minute, felt a pop, and was immediately in hard painful labor—just like the movies/TV! It was crazy! I don’t wish that on anyone.