HS Mom in NC Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 If you have adult siblings and they have kids, do you buy gifts for them every Christmas? If you buy gifts for other extended relatives, which relatives are they? How many relatives total are you shopping for outside of your immediate family? Do you buy for people other than your direct line? (Grandparents, parents, children , grandchildren.) I already know that I'm not doing it anymore because it's far too much of a time suck for me, but I'm curious what others do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Just mom, dad, MIL, FIL, SIL (unmarried), and the godchildren. I would do one family gift, like a storybook collection, movie GC, or trampoline if SIL got married and had kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I buy presents for everyone who will be at our Christmas celebration, related or not. Relatives with kids there get one kids' gift and one couple's gift. I usually have an extra one or two grownup ones out in the car just in case. Naturally those are more impersonal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) I have 2 siblings and 6 nieces and nephews; 3 of them have kids of their own now. For a long time I didn't give any gifts at all, but the last 2 years I did some token gifts to my nieces/nephews and families. Just food gifts, appropriate to family size and tastes. I suppose I might keep that up. I sent my brother a card with some family photos - he has dementia and gifts are mostly meaningless to him now. My sister and I send gifts randomly, when something catches our eye and we feel like sending it. I sent her a birthday gift last June (her birthday is in March) and probably won't sending anything for Christmas. :-) My husband has one sibling and we don't exchange gifts; we rarely even communicate. Edited October 28, 2016 by marbel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) nm Edited December 12, 2016 by ..Kathy.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammfried Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 DH has a large extended family that meets every Christmas Eve and spans 3 generations so it became more pragmatic to just do one Secret Santa gift (~$20 limit) among the adults group and then the children's group. We also give each family a stocking stuffer type of gift like homemade baked goods. Christmas morning is then spent with each individual family unit, for whom we do buy gifts individually for. I have a large immediate family but we only gift the children. We focus instead on having a fancy meal and maybe a bingo game instead. We don't usually gift extraordinarily but that is made up for by shopping for ourselves. ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Nope. Dh's family are almost all here and we have quit doing gifts by mutual agreement. When all the kids were little, we did gifts for all of them and rhe adults exchanged names. There are some divisions due to divorce and also major financial disparity, so it is more relaxing without gifts. His parents get gifts for everyone and we sometime do for them. We get small, under $10 gifts for the cousins. In my family, we only buy for my mom. Our rule has always been that we do gifts for those we will be with in person over the holidays. Since all of my aunts, uncles and cousins live far away and we are not close, no gifts. We have found that fewer gifts makes our Christmas celebration less stressful in many ways. More focused on the spiritual aspect and on just enjoying being with people, listening to great music, sharing food etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We buy for my mil, fil, both of dh's grandmothers, 1 of his cousin's 2 kids, and his sister's 2 kids. For my side of the family we buy/make gifts if we see something we think is perfect for that person. But on my side I have 14 nieces and nephews so I simply can't buy for them all. my side encourages used items like passed down toys as gifts so sometimes we just do our Christmas shopping while trying to declutter. I really wish we could eliminate gift giving for the grandmothers, mil, and fil but gift giving is very much dh's family's love language so we do it. I'm good with buying for kids because the excitement of opening gifts is part of the Christmas experience for kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 <snip> I really wish we could eliminate gift giving for the grandmothers, mil, and fil but gift giving is very much dh's family's love language so we do it. I'm good with buying for kids because the excitement of opening gifts is part of the Christmas experience for kids. My in-laws are near impossible to buy for, and they give us terrible, useless gifts, but they will not budge on giving up gift exchanging. When my husband tried, they were very hurt so he dropped the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We probably should buy stuff for the cousins but we don't generally, and they're small children. I don't really favor Christmas gifts outside immediate family even though my family often does it. It gets really expensive with postage and such. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My in-laws are near impossible to buy for, and they give us terrible, useless gifts, but they will not budge on giving up gift exchanging. When my husband tried, they were very hurt so he dropped the idea. Oh my in-laws give wonderful gifts. They are fans of wish lists and they stick to them. They get each of us multiple gifts so it is always a fun Christmas. I know neither would be hurt if we stopped exchanging gifts but it is something that is special to them so we keep doing it. Luckily, they give gift ideas too. Now dh's grandmothers are 2 I could drop without feeling bad. One gives cash every year and really doesn't expect us to give her anything in return. The other always gives me an ugly shirt I'll never wear! But she'd be offended if we didn't get her something. She's hard to shop for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We probably should buy stuff for the cousins but we don't generally, and they're small children. I don't really favor Christmas gifts outside immediate family even though my family often does it. It gets really expensive with postage and such. All the people I listed are people we see either on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. If any of them lived far away I wouldn't shop for them. The exception is my one sister who lives 900 miles away. I do send her kids gift but that is only because i miss them so much and my children are closest with them so really get into shopping for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 If you have adult siblings and they have kids, do you buy gifts for them every Christmas? If you buy gifts for other extended relatives, which relatives are they? How many relatives total are you shopping for outside of your immediate family? Do you buy for people other than your direct line? (Grandparents, parents, children , grandchildren.) I already know that I'm not doing it anymore because it's far too much of a time suck for me, but I'm curious what others do. Yes to siblings, their spouses and their children, on my side ( we see all of them). We do aunts and uncles, cousins, etc on my side as well, if they're there for Christmas. Really, though, you are only talking about 12-15 gifts on my side, at most, not some crazy number. On dh's side, adults only if we see them, because that's what everyone else wants to do. Mail things to nieces/nephews and grands on that side. Only one grandparent left of ours on either side, and yes, we send her something. All of our parents are still living and we send or give to them when we see them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We have 12 nieces and nephews. We get presents for all of them. We also get something for their parents (dh brother and wife, dh sister and husband and my ds and husband). We also get for dh's cousin and family, we usually see them around Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 I get gift list requests from 7 people in my family. I'm done with that too. It's unusual for my kids to have 7 items on each of their wish lists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Neither of my siblings have kids; they are both single and don't buy anything for DS for Christmas or his birthday. I usually send something for my brother, though. My brother in law has 2 kids, we buy for both of them but not the adults now that they have kids. My SIL has one kid, and we buy him a gift, but not usually one for her. BIL and SIL always send DS something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrittanyM Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 In my family (5 kids, I'm the only one married with kids) we buy individual gifts and I usually get something $15-$20 for each of my siblings and $25-$30 for my parents. My Grandma that lives here also gets a gift and the one that lives far away gets photos and a card (she has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember us anymore). All my siblings usually buy gifts for the kids except maybe the ones that aren't as good with money and are usually broke. [emoji12] We sometimes get together with my Mom's brother and my cousins on that side and if so we do a $25 gift exchange and each draw a name. They usually get something small for the kids as we haven't included the kids in the exchange. In DH's family we don't do gifts for the niece/nephews (currently my kids have 3 cousins) as eventually that would make us broke lol. I'm considering gifting a Christmas book each year to each family for the kids as I'm kind of the "book/practical aunt" and am not super into toys. The adults do a gift exchange worth about $50 each and then we get something for FIL and MIL. DH's only living grandparent lives in NM and we never see her so I usually mail her pictures as well. Grandparents of course get the kids stuff and so they have gifts to open too. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I get gift list requests from 7 people in my family. I'm done with that too. It's unusual for my kids to have 7 items on each of their wish lists. Gift list requests can be overwhelming for me too. My mil and fil, who are separated, generally get each person 4 gifts each. With 4 kids, dh and myself thats a lot of freaking gifts let alone gift ideas! Plus my oldest has a bday on Dec 19th so that is even more things for his list. It is quite crazy. Everyone else who shops for the kids either has to ask mil or fil or just think of something themselves. I refuse to make more than 2 lists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) I buy for my husband and children. I send an updated picture to the grandparents and parents (we have a lot due to remarriage). Occasionally we do something a little more for my in laws. Last year we bought them a barn quilt which my SIL went in on with us. If we are flush that year I will do family gifts or books for my siblings kids. We have 14 nieces and nephews so it is cost prohibitive to get gifts for everyone. We have attempted name drawing in the past for the siblings who couldn't let go of the idea of gifts, only three out of six of us followed through so we no longer draw names. ETA we don't see my family often. At most once a year but it's usually more like every 2-3 years. My siblings live in 4 different states. Edited October 28, 2016 by Rach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) Nope. We no longer buy for siblings or their kids. We have 5/10, soon to be 6/11, of the grandchildren on my side and 5/8, soon to be 6/9, of the grandchildren on DH's side, so even drawing names doesn't really work. We hardly ever see each other because of distance, so we adult siblings don't know each other terribly well, much less the kids. It got to the point where some of the adults were exchanging gift cards to general stores like Amazon. (Plus one family is always traveling by plane and has extremely limited cargo room.) I wouldn't even remotely presume to know what my siblings could use for their hobbies, and I wouldn't expect them to know mine, and everyone has more than enough general stuff. Such is life. So if we are able to get together sometime around the holidays, we feel free just to hang out and have fun without anyone stressing about gifts. (I should add that I'm not blessed with the gift giving gene, and even wish lists stress me out. I really hate trying to guess how much someone else wants to spend and trying to give a gift idea for my kids in that range. I struggle with gifts for my own children. With four boys in a row, one, we have most generic "baby/toddler/kid" toys, and two, most bigger stuff would be liked by multiple kids.) Edited October 28, 2016 by happypamama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My siblings draw names, so I end up buying one gift. Dh's siblings used to draw names but gave it up a few years back. We don't exchange gifts with any extended family members. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 MIL lives overseas, so I usually send her a nice light weight box of homemade items. This year we made her a scarf, a mini quilt, some quilted coasters, and a small hand painted picture with a tiny easel. Light weight is key for her due to $$ of shipping My aunt, we usually make a scarf and some other handmade gift. This year, I am sending her a felt ornament. I will also add some of my uncle's favorite cookies. FIL and BIL we do some sort of food gift...like Dakin farms or igourmet. That is about it for extended relatives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) No gift giving between us and BIL's (DH's brother's) family. I give gifts to my sister (small token gift) and my niece (gift card). All our family live overseas. Everybody has stuff. Edited October 28, 2016 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My side stopped buying for everyone when my siblings and I all had kids. We buy for nieces and nephews, but not for siblings and their spouses. I usually get something for my parents. Mom wants to talk about our plan for this year when we see them on Sunday. DH's side has always been get for everyone. But the last couple of years we have gotten for everyone and his siblings have not gotten gifts for us or our kids. I am not sure what the plan is this year. I asked DH to talk to his siblings, but he keeps putting it off. My plan is to just not worry about buying for them unless I hear otherwise in a reasonable time to shop. We will still get something for DH's parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 If you have adult siblings and they have kids, do you buy gifts for them every Christmas? If you buy gifts for other extended relatives, which relatives are they? How many relatives total are you shopping for outside of your immediate family? On my side, we give Christmas gifts to my sister and her husband. We also give gifts to their three children as well as to our great-nephew. On my husband's side, we give Christmas gifts to our sister-in-law as well as to our six niece and nephews. My mother is our sole living parent, and we give gifts to her at Christmas. We also give gifts to our adult daughter. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 My siblings, I have 4, are all married with kids, 3-4 each, in 4 different states. Each family gets a family gift. It could be a basket of some kind of regional food, family board game, boxed set of movies, something homemade like a dozen jars of applesauce from my kitchen, photo christmas ornaments or a photo calendar for the year with all the birthdays on it. I choose one gift to make/ buy and everyone gets one but tailored to their family size, ages of kids, etc. Dh has 2 siblings. One is married with a child, so they get lumped in with the family gift business with my siblings. Dh's oder brother is divorced, single, has nothing to do with his kids and finds all family irritating. I let my husband pick his gift. My parents usually get something similar to the family gift, but tailored to them as the grandparents (ornaments with all the grandkids pictures on them, etc.) My in-laws are absolutely dreadful with gifts, both giving & receiving so I let dh do that one too. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We stopped. The adults in the extended family of our gen made it clear that they didnt want to include the nephews and neices, but wanted the gift exchange for the adults, mil, and fil. Of course they made that decision when one set became adults with jobs w/benefits and the other set was in middle school. We just didnt feel it was Christmas to exclude the under 18s, and we felt used giving the 20something neices & nephews gifts, when they had jobs and gave no gifts, then wanted us to gift their s.others. so we left. Really glad we did, it was overwhelming and it gave us several happy years with just our family and bonus - no pile of dollar store and flea market items to haul over to goodwill. On the other side, we only exchanged if we got together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 We siblings normally all buy for the kids, whose ages now range from 5 to 23. That said, the older ones are getting gift cards mainly. I have always bought something for my siblings and their spouses and adult step kids also. However, most of us have cut that out or reduced it to just one small gift "for the family." I honestly can't remember if I bought everyone something last year. I should probably quit doing it, but it's hard to stop something you've been doing for at least 40 years. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I buy for families of n/n if they have kids. 2 sils, and mil. I did for my mom, but she's been gone 7 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 On my side of the family we stopped doing siblings once the kids came along. At this point, all of us do $20 bills for the kids (ages 14-24 this Christmas). It's easy and it's what the kids want. Dh has one brother and he and his wife have two kids who are quite a bit younger than ours--not in the money phase yet. We get them gifts. We prefer not to exchange gifts with the adults, but SIL is from a gift-giving culture. So we tend to give them baked goods or a family movie and we get clothing that we don't really want and then give away. For our parents who don't need anymore stuff we do restaurant gift cards and maybe some photo thing of the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 WHen I had a larger extended family, adults drew names and spent a specified amount on the gift, so we only had to buy for one adult. Every family bought gifts for kids... either a group gift for a family of kids or individual gifts. No amount to spend was specified. They were considered kids through college or until married or age 21 if not in college. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) Ugh. This is a sore subject for me. DH and I have (had, till now) 5 adult siblings between us, all have kids. Unless we are going to see them for the holidays, we don't exchange gifts. We exchange with our parents only - which means 6 grandparents (2 are divorced and remarried). Both kids at home have 2 birthparents with whom we exchange gifts, plus a few birthgrandparents. All of this was ok, until we added sixteen (!!!) more people. 2 more birthparents (DH's), 4 adult siblings with spouses and kids. Their family culture is separate gifts for all, not token gifts, not home made, and usually multiple gifts. Eeek! We are at a total of something like 30 gifts minimum, outside our family, and that doesn't count our prior arrangements (if we see our siblings' families e exchange gifts with them all). I feel overwhelmed. Edited October 29, 2016 by Spryte Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 I come from a family of 7 kids with over 30 grandkids. We used to exchange "couple gifts" with my siblings (like we gave 1 gift to one sibling and their spouse and rotated each year), but we haven't the last few years. Same with DH's family. It would be overwhelming to try to get gifts for that many people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingmama Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 I am the oldest of 4. There are 7 kids. We do buy separate gifts for each. My sisters and I discuss in advance what we specifically need and buy it for each other. We also buy for my parents. My sisters and I tried not exchanging one year and I think my mom about had a coronary. We decided buying each other something we need for the family/ourselves was better than listening to my mother rant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My family started out small (I had one brother and one sister) and we never got together with relatives on Christmas because we lived too far away. So exchanging little gifts with each other was an important and doable tradition. Once we all started having kids, we kept it up through a little past high school. We didn't spend much on each other's kids --- maybe a gift card for a Subway sandwich, or a winter scarf from Old Navy (which were usually cheap). We just enjoyed doing that and the kids thought it was fun, too! It never felt like a burden. Once the oldest of the nephews/nieces got married, it seemed like a good time to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) DH has 3 siblings. I have 1. My kids have 3 living grandparents. We have 9 nieces and nephews on both sides. We do not exchange adult gifts. We do play an exchange game where the family shows up with 2 small gifts with DH's family. 10-15 dollars, usually consumable. We buy gifts for nieces and nephews until they graduate college. We don't buy gifts for grand parents but we do pay for regular experiences with them. Like tickets to a show and dinner out with us and the kids. ETA DH is in charge of buying for his nieces and nephews (7 but now 4 are beyond college). I am in charge of the 2 on my side that are 6 and 9 so a ways to go. Edited October 29, 2016 by WoolySocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) My sister lives in California, I am in Illinois, while we exchange Christmas and birthday gifts (largely gag gifts)we have never gifted each other's kids or spouses. Hubby has 5 siblings - they exchange cards, and maybe small gifts at Christmas, but again not kids. Now - any relative who shows up at my house for Christmas, they get a present or two. And, whether we see them or not at the holidays, our own parents do get presents (we call it "tribute" in my mom's case !) Edited October 29, 2016 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarinesWife Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) My mom and her siblings exchange gifts. My cousins and our children do an exchange. At Thanksgiving we draw names with whoever will be at Christmas. I love the cousin exchange. We have so much fun with it. I do not exchange with my siblings or buy gifts for my nieces. They live out of town and are rarely at the main family Christmas dinner. Edited October 29, 2016 by MarinesWife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 (edited) For Christmas, great-nieces and great-nephews receive gifts until they graduate from high school or college, if they go. That makes 12 gifts currently. We send a gift basket to my husband's sister and his sister's in law (he has two deceased brothers). I have no idea when we started to do that or what our reasoning was, but it's fun, so we do it. Edited October 29, 2016 by TechWife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 In DH's family everyone buys for everyone including old friends and any aunts and uncles who come to the celebration. The expense level is kept to a somewhat reasonable rate, but the process of opening all those gifts takes way too long imho. The kids are always sad to have to set aside a fun toy somewhere in hour 3 of gift opening, just so they can open another gift. In my family everyone buys for grandma and grandpa, and then we only exchange family gifts targeted toward fun with the kids. Gma and Gpa buy for everyone. I'm the rebellious child who breaks the rules and still buys for my sisters, but I told them straight-up that I don't want or need a gift back. - I'm just a gift giver by nature, and when they allow me to feel happy by blessing them, that makes my holiday feel right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My brother has 2 children; I buy small gifts for them. My first cousins (on one side) have a total of 6 small children; they get very small gifts from my kids. (Often homemade.) I give all extended family (my parents, grandparents, siblings, grown nieces, sibling-in-laws) the same exact thing every year: a photo calendar with pics of my kids. Sometimes we give my MIL or my parents something more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I have a huge family and combined with dhs we used to have 30+ to buy for. I was looked down upon but stuck to my guns when it came to stopping the madness. We now buy personal gifts for our own kids and eachother. We take 5 gifts to a gift exchange (one from each of us). I send my mom $100. We buy dhs parents food gift basket. I chip in $ for a group gift for our boss. I dont do holiday gifts for random people like the mailman or teachers. I give gifts when i feel like giving gifts to people in our lives. Last week I took dd10's teacher a costco sized bag of Lindt chicolates. Dd10 has been rougher than usual lately so it was a way to acknowlege it. It was a bit of a "you're going to need these" type gift. She laughed and appreciated the donation to her sanity. I would rather do that than save it for a holiday. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Lucky for us all family live out of state or overseas so we dont do gift exchanges. We only exchange if we get together which is very rare. This year Dhs parents, 2 sisters and neice are travelling from Canada to spend Christmas. I'm freaking out because they go nuts with gift giving (understandable since they never see our kids) but I feel like I have to get them things too and Im bad at coming up with ideas, shopping ( I detest it) and we cant afford it either. I only like gifting my kids...doing it for others is so much work and a waste of money if they dont need/want what you are giving. We can't do gift cards cause they live in another country🤔🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 (edited) Dp Edited October 30, 2016 by Tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Our new approach these past few years has been to buy a nice family board game for my husband's brother's family, and vice versa. My SIL and I work together to choose something that will work for each family. (It's NOT a surprise for the two of us.) Then the cousins play the games together after the Christmas gift opening. So we have a shared gift experience, reasonable cost & effort, good memories. Since we have 5 kids, and they only have 2, the board game makes the gift-giving more equitable. (Tho they never complained!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksr5377 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 With DH's family, he's an only child, so we only have his parents to buy for. Several years ago they made it clear that we didn't need to buy them gifts, even though they buy us gifts, so now our children give them something. It makes me feel less terrible about receiving several generous gifts and have them sitting there with nothing to open. Plus, the gift is usually handmade, and they love getting something made by their grandchildren. On my side of the family (4 younger siblings with significant others, some with children some without) we give "Family" gifts. Sometimes we give little token gifts, like a bottle of lotion to all the females or something like that, but it's not expected or necessary. Neither is the family gift. One year my BIL made everyone jerky and the next year he and my sister didn't give gifts. No big deal. My parents buy gifts for all the grandchildren, so there's lots of entertainment watching them open their loot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyincolorado Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 DH has a large extended family that meets every Christmas Eve and spans 3 generations so it became more pragmatic to just do one Secret Santa gift (~$20 limit) among the adults group and then the children's group. We also give each family a stocking stuffer type of gift like homemade baked goods. Christmas morning is then spent with each individual family unit, for whom we do buy gifts individually for. I have a large immediate family but we only gift the children. We focus instead on having a fancy meal and maybe a bingo game instead. We don't usually gift extraordinarily but that is made up for by shopping for ourselves. ;) I was going to say the same. Secret Santas are great since you can get a much more personalized and special gift when you're not trying to buy for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeFlowers Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 My side is easy because I am an only child and only have my parents left. We buy presents for them and them for each of us. Dh's parents are divorced and remarried. His side is pretty complicated as there are multiple secret Santa parties and Christmases. Ugh. I'm starting to dread Christmas now just thinking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Dh's side -- mom, brother, SIL, niece, nephew, 5 great nephews, dad and step mom My side -- mom, stepdad, step mom, 3 brothers, 2 SIL's 1 niece. (and if 1 brother and SIL can't come home for Christmas we don't exchange gifts) Generally they all get a gift of their own. But this year the amount I can spend is greatly reduced. I will still try to get gifts for each but will cost less. Homemade cookies and gift cards to restaurants are my go to gifts. Everyone eats :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbi in Texas Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 My family stopped after a few years of trading cash or gift cards back and forth. Dh's family has never been much into gifts. So, we get together and visit/eat. I now have a great niece and nephew who I sometimes buy for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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