DD has cancer, and I need to say something I can't say out loud or to IRL friends

[MomsintheGarden]

I'm sorry. You have every right to be scared, even though there is hope. Prayers for the best possible outcome for your dd.

[Rachel]

I don't post very often, and I probably won't be homeschooling next year, but this community has been a huge help for me over the last few years and it feels like extended family in a way.

 

My oldest DD (10) has recently been diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma, stage 3B. She will have 5 rounds of chemo followed by possible radiation depending how she responds to the chemo. 1 round is done and we're headed back for round 2 on Tuesday.

 

In general, Hodgkin in children has an excellent prognosis! This is what we emphasize in real life - the approximately 95% 5-year survival rate. Sounds great, right? But I need to say somewhere that a 95% survival rate means that after 5 years, 1 in 20 is dead. That is so scary.

 

That's all. I appreciate your prayers.

Hugs and prayers!

[jrn]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[JudoMom]

You're right, that is scary. I am sorry that your family is facing this. :Grouphug:

[Ann.without.an.e]

Prayers and hugs. I can't imagine and your feelings are surely normal!

[jjeepa]

Hugs and prayers for your family.   :grouphug:   Keep us updated!  

[SarahW]

It's scary, no doubt.

 

My FIL had this and is a survivor. The hardest part for him was getting through the treatment. He was worn out from the pain and got depressed and was about to tell the doctors to stop treatment so he could die. It was a tough time. My oldest was a toddler then, and we would just bring him to the hospital and sit him on Opa's lap while he was getting chemo. Later, FIL said that is holding my son is the only thing that got him through some days.

 

I'm not sure how the stats count things, but I think secondary causes could play into the mortality rate. Depression, infection, etc.

 

Don't be afraid to admit your fear. Get support. Keep her spirits up.

 

:grouphug:

[Anne in CA]

I am so, so sorry.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: I'll be praying for both of you.

[mom31257]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[BlsdMama]

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))  It would scare me so much.  I think people around you focus on the stats and don't talk about the scary part because they want to be upbeat and positive.  But it's good to acknowledge that this is so frightening of a path for a parent to walk.

[Jane Elliot]

Oh, how rough. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you felt you could say something here. Your dd will be in our thoughts and prayers. Please do keep us posted. 

[Miss Tick]

(((Hugs)))

[mysticmomma]

I'm so sorry.

[Alicia64]

My kids' good friend had childhood leukemia with a 9 in 10 survival rate and the mom said exactly what you said, "1 in 10 is terrifying."

 

She once told me that so many would say to her, "I don't know how you do/did it." She'd think, it's not like I can just hide in bed. I have to get up and take my child to the doctor's, make lunch etc. etc. etc.

 

People don't know what to say. I know when I'd see my friend -- because treatment went on for four years -- I'd cry every time I'd see her. Even when her child was very close to being complete w/ treatment. I tried to keep it to myself, but yeah.

 

I'm sending my strongest hugs and prayers. (Now I'm crying again.)

 

Alley

[katilac]

Best wishes for him and your entire family. 

 

Please do come for support even if you don't homeschool next year. 

[freeindeed]

:grouphug:  
Prayers.

[Luckymama]

:grouphug:

[dirty ethel rackham]

:grouphug:

[displace]

Praying for you all. It must be scary and definitely normal to not necessarily feel comforted by statistics. A lot of hospitals and oncologists have cancer support groups where it may be helpful for you if there's a family support group. Intense medical treatment is hard and stressful. Sometimes just talking with others who are going through something similar can relieve tension.

 

:(

 

Even if you don't homeschool next year I'm sure you can post here for anything!

[Donna]

:grouphug:   

[cintinative]

Prayers for you. I hope you have a wonderful medical staff to help you through this as well.

[BooksandBoys]

Your family is in my thoughts. Hugs.

[Tsuga]

Hugs to you and your DD. You are in our thoughts.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Sorry you are going through this.  Our neighbor boy went through it last year.  He's had swollen lymph nodes since, but testing shows he is fine now.  The mom's worry is never gone, even when they first were told no more treatments.  I hope you have a way to destress as much as possible.  Hand over some things so you can allow yourself more time to focus on your child b/c you will.  Get a housekeeper for the time of chemo.  Arrange meals, even if just once a week to help you out.  Find a way to get out with no kids, whether alone or with a spouse.  I am sure people want to help but you have to tell them what you need.  (((HUGS)))

[lmrich]

:grouphug:  and prayers

[GailV]

:grouphug:

[HeWillSoar]

:grouphug: I'm sorry.

[Tanaqui]

*hugs*

 

It's okay to say that, though I'm sure your daughter will be one of the 95% here. I hope things go as smoothly as possible.

[Mom2OandE]

Praying.

[Butter]

That is pretty much exactly what a friend of mine said when her daughter was diagnosed with leukemia at 2.  She used the analogy that if your child was playing soccer and by the end of the game, of the 20 kids, one would be dead, you would never, ever let them play.  That 5% chance is scary.  (((HUGS))) to you and your family.

[AimeeM]

That is pretty much exactly what a friend of mine said when her daughter was diagnosed with leukemia at 2.  She used the analogy that if your child was playing soccer and by the end of the game, of the 20 kids, one would be dead, you would never, ever let them play.  That 5% chance is scary.  (((HUGS))) to you and your family.

Agreed. 

OP, you're right - it's very scary and I wish you could say it in IRL. I think, maybe, that those around you just want to be positive for you, as I saw someone else mention already.

 

Your family is in our prayers. Sending big hugs to y'all from South Carolina. 

And please let us know if you need anything. 

[AlmiraGulch]

:grouphug:

[Meriwether]

((((TXBeth)))) I would be nervous about it, too. I'm sorry to hear she is sick and pray she responds well to treatment.

[TXBeth]

Thank you so much, all of you. I appreciate your support and encouragement. DD is going in for her second round tomorrow and she is not looking forward to it.

We do have a lot to be thankful for. Firstly, DD's medical bills are all covered by the hospital's financial aid program. I can't imagine going through this with the added stress of worrying that it will bankrupt us! We also have an excellent support system of family and friends here.

Even my hesitation to talk about the scarier aspects wasn't really due to a fear of their reaction, but more due to 1)not wanting to admit it out loud, and 2) somehow wanting to protect them from being scared also. For some reason, posting here was easier...maybe it seemed a little less real?

In fact, after posting here and reading all your reactions, I was able to bring it up with a friend and with my father in law, and had some really good conversations.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, and I will keep you posted on DD's progress.

[NorthwestMom]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[MercyA]

I will pray.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[idnib]

I'm sorry your family is going through this and I'm sending good thoughts your way.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Ewe Mama]

You, your daughter, the rest of your family, and all of her caregivers are being coved in prayer, especially as she faces round two.

 

:grouphug: it's an honor to pray for you all. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to do something for her.

 

Please keep us updated.

[East Coast Sue]

Praying for your dd today as she must go through more treatment.

 

Praying for you as its torture to see your child endure the sickness and necessary treatment.

 

Many, many hugs and prayers...

[umsami]

I've never hated cancer more than watching friends deal with childhood cancers and BMTs. 

 

:grouphug:

 

Lots of prayers to you.  A friend, who was a really good guy got diagnosed with NHL.  He actually had worked for Medicins Sans Frontieres and had zero health insurance at the time.  It was a tough road, but he did well and is still alive as far as I know.  His dx was about 20 years ago, and I know things are much better now.

 

 

Edited May 31, 2016 by umsami

[alisoncooks]

Prayers for your family.

 

My DH was diagnosed with stage-4 NHLymphoma in Nov. 2014. He had 6-months of intensive chemo, followed by 2 years of less intensive chemo (which we are still in).

 

It's a long, scary road. I cannot imagine if this were one of my girls.

 

I shared your post with DH; his first response was that if you are in TX (going by username), it's good to know that the top-ranked cancer hospital in the US is in Houston (MD Anderson). DH's oncologists follow treatment protocol and research that come out of there.