MedicMom Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I had to put DS5 in school today. We couldn't get certain services at home, and right now he needs me to be mom, and not mom and teacher. He needs a lot of behavioral support. Plus the baby is colicky and cries a lot, and DS5 is lonely. We weren't able to plug into homeschool groups like I had hoped, and he needs supervision. His issues have finally been officially acknowledged as stemming from lead poisoning. We traced it to the building I worked his first year of life. I took a supervisory position just so I could take him to work with me. He was there, around lead, four days a week. The building was being remodeled and he breathed it in. They sold it last year and had trouble because the soil was so lead contaminated. The building has since been torn down. They no longer believe he is HFA; they are classifying him as brain damaged, albeit with a high IQ. And ADHD. I am trying not to feel sad and guilty. But I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 ((((hugs)))) I am so sorry. Hold fast to the knowledge that it is absolutely NOT your fault--you didn't know about the lead. Be proud of yourself for realizing your limitations. Take care of yourself, okay? 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry. That's really hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You've been through so much. Please be gentle with yourself in this season of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 We knew his lead level was high for the last few years. We have no lead in the house; it was removed before we moved in, and he wasn't born yet. My daughter consistently tests zero for lead. It took us a long time to figure it out, and by then I had long since left that job. I feel so bad for him. He's lonely, but can't relate to peers. He has an explosive temper and can't regulate his impulses or emotions. People tell me just to discipline him more, but it doesn't work. Mostly I think they all think I'm just a lazy mother. It makes me sad because now I know he wasn't born this way and it's not parenting. It just is. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Oh honey. (((MedicMom))) We make decisions as parents everyday that may end up being "wrong" in hindsight. As bad as that sucks, you can only make choices based on what you know and it isn't fair to hold yourself to a superhuman standard of knowledge. I can say, based I everything I have ever read you post about your children that you are a VERY good mom, with a whole lotta life stuff in the mix, making decisions based on what is best for this time in the life of her family. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go_go_gadget Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 What a year you've had. I'm so sorry about the diagnosis, and am sending so many good thoughts your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 So, so sorry. I know this must be a terribly hard time for you, with all you've been through. Please talk to us as often as you need to. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimberly in IN Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Sending big hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 That's crushing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Many hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lb20inblue Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I am sorry. The hardest thing to do as parents is to play the what if game. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Severe lead poisoning is so rare these days - it's not your fault! We all do the best we can for our children, and quite frankly that was an issue that you couldn't have foreseen at the time. Don't beat yourself up about it. Easier said than done, I know. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry--but am glad there are services available to help you and your son. Just FWIW, a child in my care has a brother who is older, and has issues because of lead exposure. He is getting really good support at his school, and his parents are excellent parents, from what I have seen over the last few weeks. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Big hugs. You've had so much on your plate lately... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :( hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: You are doing what you can do now with what you have, and that's the best anybody can do. I hope he has a smooth transition and that things get easier for the whole family. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry this happened. At least now you have a good diagnosis and can look out for good services for him. Please remember, you are great mom, and the best mom for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (((HUGS))) MedicMom and family -- you have had a rough year! Be gentle to yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (Big hugs, I can't imagine) Are there treatments for the lead levels? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. At the same time, I am glad you have a diagnosis for your son. Has his doctor discussed treatment (chelation?) with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I had to put DS5 in school today. We couldn't get certain services at home, and right now he needs me to be mom, and not mom and teacher. He needs a lot of behavioral support. Plus the baby is colicky and cries a lot, and DS5 is lonely. We weren't able to plug into homeschool groups like I had hoped, and he needs supervision. His issues have finally been officially acknowledged as stemming from lead poisoning. We traced it to the building I worked his first year of life. I took a supervisory position just so I could take him to work with me. He was there, around lead, four days a week. The building was being remodeled and he breathed it in. They sold it last year and had trouble because the soil was so lead contaminated. The building has since been torn down. They no longer believe he is HFA; they are classifying him as brain damaged, albeit with a high IQ. And ADHD. I am trying not to feel sad and guilty. But I do. I am so sorry! That would be so hard to deal with. You are not guilty you did the best you possibly could for your son at the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 (Big hugs, I can't imagine) Are there treatments for the lead levels? (((((hugs)))) I was wondering the same. Would chelation work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I'm so sorry. Hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom25girls Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You are such a good mama. You've been through so much and still are able to put your son's needs FIRST. Hugs and more hugs. You can do this. Be gentle with yourself. I've been homeschooling for 18 years and have seen the majority of my friends and acquaintances send their kids to school at some point. To be completely honest, most of the children have LOVED IT. :grouphug: :grouphug: Praying that easier days are ahead for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 The lead exposure is five years old. We just didn't catch it because he was always developmentally ahead and so I didn't bother with lead testing. We knew there was none in our house so it just wasn't on our radar until he started regressing emotionally at about 3 years old. We've known about it for two years. His blood levels are much much less than they were initially, and he not nearly high enough for chelation. The neurological damage is already done; we are just really starting to see the effects. The lead exposure is five years old. We just didn't catch it because he was always developmentally ahead and so I didn't bother with lead testing. We knew there was none in our house so it just wasn't on our radar until he started regressing emotionally at about 3 years old. We've known about it for two years. His blood levels are much much less than they were initially, and he not nearly high enough for chelation. The neurological damage is already done; we are just really starting to see the effects. They are all behavioral and emotional; he remains advanced academically. In good news the baby is healthy and developmentally appropriate for his adjusted age, and my husband is completely healed from surgery and free of the chronic pain he's fought for two years. So life is finally getting back to normal. :) 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 One thing to consider is to not let go of the ASD diagnosis if you already have it. It may get him resources that he can't get otherwise, that still help to treat his conditions. ASD has been a hot topic for many school districts and there are doors opened to therapy with that diagnosis. in our case, DD8 may or may not be ASD, but we keep her diagnosis, because of the access to services. It is harder to prove mental health/behavioral needs in a child that has normal or slightly lower academic aptitude. For our dd, the treatments are the same and the behaviors are the same, we just suspect she is more drug affected from her bio-mom that first thought. They have to be sooooo far behind academically for a child to get help in our area, that keeping the ASD diagnosis is a ticket to resources, that would be hard to get without the dx. Even her psych suggests this in our case, and doesn't want to change her dx on paper. His thought is that we can't prove that she doesn't also have ASD, and that since her behaviors fit that diagnosis best it is the best way to get her help right now, and that is what matters most. Hugs to you! It is hard when you know you child needs services you can't really provide at home. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 So, so sorry, MedicMom. You've been through so much lately. Remember to be compassionate to yourself. You aren't at all blameworthy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 ((((((((Medic Mom)))))))) I am so sorry. You couldn't have known, you love your boy, don't be harsh with yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I had to put DS5 in school today. We couldn't get certain services at home, and right now he needs me to be mom, and not mom and teacher. He needs a lot of behavioral support. Plus the baby is colicky and cries a lot, and DS5 is lonely. We weren't able to plug into homeschool groups like I had hoped, and he needs supervision. His issues have finally been officially acknowledged as stemming from lead poisoning. We traced it to the building I worked his first year of life. I took a supervisory position just so I could take him to work with me. He was there, around lead, four days a week. The building was being remodeled and he breathed it in. They sold it last year and had trouble because the soil was so lead contaminated. The building has since been torn down. They no longer believe he is HFA; they are classifying him as brain damaged, albeit with a high IQ. And ADHD. I am trying not to feel sad and guilty. But I do. Please do not discount the bolded... it's so important. Your relationship with him is way more important than homeschooling and it lasts longer than your years of homeschooling. My middle child needed me to be mom too.. she needed much more supervision and educational support than I could give her. Putting her in a brick-n-mortar school was the best decision we made. I felt guilty too, but seeing her flourish and blossom helped me to realize that we did the right thing. :grouphug: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tm919 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 *hugs* I'm so sorry, please be kind to yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonesinIndiana Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I'm sorry you're dealing with this. High lead levels affect a child their whole life in different areas. For our daughter, the lead affected the enamel of her baby teeth and she had a lot of decay. I also suspect some of her undiagnosed LD is due to lead exposure. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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