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About PeachyDoodle

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    you can call me queen bee
  • Birthday December 31

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    North Carolina
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    My avatar is from Permission is given on this site to use images for message boards.

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    North Carolina
  • Occupation
    Homeschooling Mom & Homemaker

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  1. I found this blog helpful when I was picking colors: The Creativity Exchange. She writes a lot about different colors, giving pictures and specific brands/names/numbers, so it might help you narrow down what appeals to you. I'd always suggest getting samples and trying out the colors in the space first -- lighting can really change the look of a color.
  2. Add me to the list suffering from Chronic Password Fatigue. I gave up and started letting Chrome suggest and remember my passwords. I'm sure this is probably a mistake but I just can't take it anymore.
  3. This is so disheartening. But also very much what I saw when dd was in early elementary. We were literally told, "Do not try to help your student (kindergarten) sound out words. You will only confuse them." I was like, huh? But I was very hands-off, much more than I should have been, really. I had a newborn with minor health issues and some mild baby blues, and dd picked up reading extremely easily so I did the best I could. But today, even though she reads at a college level, she says she wishes she'd had phonics instruction like her brother had. I'm considering quickly running through the AAR TM's with her over the summer if she wants. And the handwriting -- don't even get me started! Watching her form some of her letters pains me -- I literally can't watch her write. I could kick myself for not paying better attention in K-2. I just assumed she was being taught because the work she brought home looked great. But yes, tons of inappropriate writing and ZERO instruction. I tried to remediate handwriting some when we started homeschooling in 3rd, but by then it was too late. She was lucky because she's an extremely bright kid who learns well with just about any kind of instruction (or lack thereof). Poor ds would have been LOST. Thank goodness we woke up before he got to school age.
  4. I would discuss it with them and see what they prefer. It is their wedding, after all. But I don't think there's any harm in suggesting that you're willing to make them a cash gift in lieu of the dinner, if that's okay with them. Rehearsal dinners are certainly not mandatory so I wouldn't feel bad about not having one if the couple prefers it that way.
  5. With dd headed into 9th, we are weighing our options with DE too. In our state, DE is free at the community college (except for books and fees, although in some places those are free too), and there is an agreement with all of the public unis and quite a few of the private to take all the credits. Which seems like a good deal on the surface. One thing I hate about it is that the DE pathway is pretty strictly defined, and to take full advantage of it, dd will have to take classes there that I would prefer to teach at home, aligned to her interests. I hate feeling like we can either jump through the hoops to save money or customize her education and roll the dice with regards to scholarships, etc. But I know of at least one case in which DE wasn't very helpful. The student completed something like 60 credits, which transferred to our state's flagship with no issues. But because she was still technically considered a freshman (all those credits hadn't been officially added to her transcript yet), she wasn't able to register for classes with the upperclassmen, and therefore wasn't able to get the classes she needed. She ended up leaving school in her second semester. I'm not sure what her next step will be, possibly transferring to a different college. What good is getting all those credits in HS if you just have to pay for a year of wasted time? I do not like this game at. all.
  6. No, I don't think so. There are two very specific family members that I strongly dislike and would honestly love to hate, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I always find myself playing devil's advocate and imagining "their side." I guess that's a good thing. (But I still avoid them at all costs.)
  7. And I still don't see how this is fundamentally different from anything I've said. I think it's odd to think that other people find it "easy" to make good choices. Everybody has things that it's harder for them to remember/choose to do. Everybody has to either decide it's not important enough to bother with or figure out a way to help themselves do what needs to be done. It doesn't matter. My dd is fine, I am fine, and I expect in a month we will be right where I'd hoped we'd be yesterday. So thanks all for the input.
  8. I don't understand how this is substantially different from anything I've said in this thread.
  9. Well, yeah. That's kind of the definition of maturity. Which is exactly what I'm getting at. You aren't INCAPABLE of putting the toilet paper on the roll. It wasn't as important to you as it was to your dh. Which is fine. It's not a moral failing to leave the TP off the roll. But it was important to him. So you set up a system to help yourself do the right thing when it wasn't something you were likely to do by nature, out of consideration for his preferences. I would say you DID become more considerate. You took to heart the fact that this felt inconsiderate to your dh and therefore made the effort to create a system to help you remember. Forgetting may not have been an active choice, but not taking measures to ensure you'd remember was. I'm kind of surprised that anyone would think that just because a person seems to be naturally organized, etc. they don't also have to put systems in place to keep themselves on track. Isn't that what adulting is? I'm type A as they come; nobody would have ever pinned me with an EF deficit, not even as a little kid. But I have systems in place to help me make the right choices when I don't feel like it. That's kind of what organizing is. I also don't buy the cookies. I also keep the TP in the bathroom so I remember to change the roll. And yeah, sometimes I am lazy and set the new roll on the counter instead of putting it on the dispenser.
  10. I don't understand. If you are capable of not eating the cookie, then how is it not an active choice to eat the cookie? I have binge eating disorder. I find it very difficult to say no to the cookie sometimes. But eating the cookie is still a choice I make. Owning that choice is what gives me the power to say no when I feel like saying yes but know that saying no is the right decision. Everybody fails at making good choices sometimes. Sometimes circumstances happen that prevent us from doing the ideal thing. But then sometimes we make decisions that we know we will probably regret later (I don't want to stop for gas now, so I will just leave for work early tomorrow, even though I know I won't want to wake up early), and then, unsurprisingly, end up regretting them (ugh, I wish I'd stopped last night so I could sleep for 10 more minutes). But that's still a choice. Ultimately it doesn't matter if you get gas now or in the morning (unless you end up stranded on a dark highway, or oversleep and arrive late to work and get fired, or something). It's not a moral failing to NOT get gas now. But it is a choice you make and one you might regret at 6am. You can make a different choice next time, or you can make the same choice, but it doesn't do any good to beat yourself up and convince yourself that you are a horrible person who isn't capable of deciding to stop for gas on your way home. (Not saying *you* do that, but that tends to be where my dd goes, as I've said.) I do want to point out for the record that my dd has no trouble finishing tasks, meeting deadlines, being considerate of others, etc. So that is emphatically not what I am talking about here, however much it might seem that way from my vague descriptions, and further colored by one's personal experiences. And she certainly has never been told that she is lazy or inconsiderate.
  11. Yes. This is what I've been trying to describe. And this is why I don't think it's an EF issue -- at least not in any big way. It may very well be a maturity issue, which is why I am backing off to let her have the space to deal with it herself. It takes maturity to do the right thing when the wrong thing is easier. And maturity to learn from that mistake instead of using it as a whip to beat yourself with so you don't have to change. My dh is the exact same way. Or was. We have been together since we were 15, and we just turned 40, so I've seen a lot of growth in him in 25 years. (Hopefully he can say the same about me). DD is already way ahead of him, so there's hope. 🙂
  12. It is definitely something she wants. But I think she didn't really expect not to get it, even though we were clear about our expectations. We will see if the next "deadline" comes and goes without improvement. Based off our conversation today, I think reality has taken hold. She actually has been more positive about it than I initially expected. We did discuss the need not to go down the self-pity/self-flagellation path and instead use this opportunity to improve, and she seems to be taking that to heart. Time will tell. But you are right that I have to let it go and make it her deal. She can make it happen if she so chooses. Because I know her? Sorry, I don't know how to explain further without going into detail I'm not prepared to share. You'll just have to trust me. She will go into self-beating mode just as easily for making the choice not to do something she is capable of (despite it being her conscious choice) as she will for not being able to do something. Although, as I said above, I am pleasantly surprised that my direst predictions have not materialized so far. Maybe she is growing out of this stage. Well... at least I'm not alone! She really is a mature kid 90% of the time. But alas... 14.
  13. If I believed that to be the case, I wouldn't impose consequences against it. (That doesn't mean I'd allow this privilege, but I wouldn't frame it as a consequence of her choices.) Obviously I don't believe it to be the case. Her response to correction is the same, even in cases in which we are all aware that she is completely capable of doing what needs to be done. I am very sorry for your childhood experiences. That must have been so hard.
  14. Thank you, I appreciate this. We are also Lutheran, and this sums up our approach very well. I just didn't take the time to go into detail.
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