elegantlion Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 We had matching bands and I had a small diamond solitaire. I will never wear them again and I have no desire to have the diamond reset. Ex still wears his ring, not sure why, not sure I care either. They have little resale value, like less than $100 and I feel like selling them or even giving them away is not right because they're symbolic of a failed marriage (or a marriage that failed - it wasn't always bad). I don't want to pass them down to ds either, he won't care, and I don't want to hold onto them forever as I'm trying to minimize those things I hang onto for sentimental value. So if you've dealt or known someone who has, how do you approach that issue? I almost feel like having a burial for them, put them in a nice box with a letter and let someone in the next hundred years find them. My parents have 5 acres that would be perfect. I know it sounds weird, but it many ways I think it'd be very cathartic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Being the pragmatic person I am, if I wasn't saving them for my children I would sell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Do what would give you the most happiness and closure. If burying them works for you then do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 In your situation, I'd bury them. A friend of mine had a really nice ring, and she sold it to a professional friend jeweler for the value of the gold and the diamond. She needed the $ after a very messy divorce, so that worked for her. One of my relatives did the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I'd sell them or give them away, but since they aren't worth much it doesn't matter so much. I think if you want to bury them then go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I am a very practical person, so I know that I would sell them. That's just me. I think you have to do whatever gives you the most closure. But, remember they are just things and while symbolic to you of a failed marriage, they are symbolic of nothing to the person who buys them. They will become symbolic to them based on what they do with them after the purchase. So, you aren't passing on anything but gems and metals, nothing more. The symbolism will be new for the new wearer. Therefore, if you need the money, don't give it a second thought. Then again, if it bothers you a lot, go ahead and bury them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My dad had given my mom a beautiful solitaire. She returned it when they divorced. 20 some years later when my brother got married, my stepmom (she raised us) had it made into a tie tac for him. Even though it had belonged to our mom it didn't feel symbolic of our parents wedding. Stepmom has given all of us kids a nice piece of jewelry that was passed on in some way when we married so it felt right. I have no idea what happened to the bands. I think a burial ceremony could be healing for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My parents were divorced but my dad kept his ring and I got it when he died. Yes, their marriage failed but that ring still means something to me because they were happy when I was born. I saved my rings after I divorced. They are cheap and I can't imagine I'd get much for them. I don't know if dd wants them or not, but I told them they are hers if she wants them. The diamond in the solitaire is tiny but might make a nice necklace if added to something else. Oh, my mom took her diamond earrings and her solitaire and had them made into a new ring that she still wears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyx4 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Many years ago I was engaged and that went very badly. I sold that ring and used the money to have a fun experience/event. The happiness from the event helped with the pain of that relationship. Fast forward a bit and my current diamond from dh was bought used and reset. He was happy to save a bit of money and I've never given it a thought as to where the ring came from. So if you sell it maybe the diamond will make someone else happy. But in the end do what is going to make you feel the best. There are no wrong answer for this choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I kept the rings from my first marriage for a while after the divorce then one day I looked at the box they were in as I was unpacking from a move. I took them to the beach and tossed them in the ocean. I had been unsure of what I wanted to do with them until that day. Keep them until you are certain what you want to do with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Sell them and use the money to do something that is symbolic and meaningful for you (and that you would not otherwise get to do because of finances). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I would throw them into the ocean. Burying them sounds like the Midwest equivalent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Whatever you do, don't tie them to a helium balloon and let it go, because someone will find them in his backyard, post all over Facebook trying to find you, and local media types will track you down and reunite you with something you didn't want anyway. True story. Happened in Alabama a year or so ago, much to the apparent annoyance of the person who was trying to get rid of her rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 sell. Even if it's just a small amount. Put the money toward something useful, like next semester's text books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 A good friend was saving hers for her dd but just needed the money to pay for chemo. Hers was worth a couple thousand, with all the deflation that happens. I would sell them as scrap gold and not keep them around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My friend has her divorced mother's engagement ring. She wears it on a chain and says it is really special to her. My mother wears her divorced mother's wedding ring, too. My mom never spoke to her father after the divorce that happened when she was 13 (she told him, "When you walk out that door, you cease to be my father.") and I think there was some healing that happened between her and her mother when she decided to wear the ring. Her father was killed in a tragic motorcycle accident when my mother was 21 and trying to pull together the courage to contact him again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Whatever you do, don't tie them to a helium balloon and let it go, because someone will find them in his backyard, post all over Facebook trying to find you, and local media types will track you down and reunite you with something you didn't want anyway. True story. Happened in Alabama a year or so ago, much to the apparent annoyance of the person who was trying to get rid of her rings. I just read one where a hiker found a ring in a tree. I don't remember all the details, just that the ring was lost unintentionally many many years ago. the finder was eventually able to track down the children of the owner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I think the ring from my first marriage is in a box somewhere. It was very cheap and probably worthless but every now and then I think of taking it to a jeweler to sell it. Maybe I'd get enough to take the kids out to lunch or something. But I think you should do what you think best. The only caution I would have against burying it is - if it is more valuable than you think, you may later regret not having it to sell if you ever need the money. Well, I guess what I mean is - that is what would keep me from burying it, tossing it into the ocean, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Mine were an heirloom and also my ex had ruined his by trying to remove it and getting it stuck and having it cut off (it was solid gold). So I'm saving the gold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 About 6 months before I filed for divorce my now Xh bought me a caret solitaire for our 25 th anniversary. I didn't have a problem with my original engagement and wedding band but looking at that solitaire made me ill. So I took it off before the divorce was even final ( although I kept my wedding band on). It is a beautiful ring. Now 6 years later it doesn't make me want to vomit! LOL. I can't wear it again of course, but I am saving it for ds. I figure it will be an awesome engagement ring......and I do not believe either one of them will see it as a symbol of a failed marriage. But if they don't want it I might then sell it. Time changes a lot of things and our kids see things differently than we do. I was careful to not share with my son the disgust I once felt when I looked at that ring. But I think if you want to bury them then go right ahead. Dh sold his for $250 and bought his son a gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My ring was not worth much, so I threw it away. I have never regretted it. I really had no desire to ever see the ring again, and I know my children would never want it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Mine are not worth much monetary wise but I still have mine. I put my engagement ring and wedding ring in a ring box on the top shelf of my closet. If either of my kids from that marriage want them one day, they are theirs. Dd15 has expressed some interest, she has a picture on her dresser of her dad and I during our wedding ceremony. ANd both have indicated they want the rest of the wedding pictures one day when they move out so I just keep hanging on to this stuff for them. IF they change their minds and don't want them down the line no biggy. then I will sell them on kijiji or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I have my mother's rings from my parents failed marriage. Those rings and a little engraved silver plate are really all I have to "know" they were ever together. (no photos exist). So, I'm personally glad my mom didn't destroy those things and let me have them. Then again, I have zero memories of them being together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My ring was not worth much, so I threw it away. I have never regretted it. I really had no desire to ever see the ring again, and I know my children would never want it. Just curious why would your children never want them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I think ritual is very important and I love the idea of burying them, or tossing them in the sea, or what not. I'd also consider keeping the ring for my daughter or son should they ever want it....and perhaps gifting it to them on a 16th birthday or some other special day saying "while my marriage did not last as long as I had thought it would when I got married, it gave me the most wonderful gift, you! You are so special and I want you to have this as a remembrance of that. A reminder to always look for the diamond/sparkly thing even when things are not going well." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I sold my 1.1 carat solitaire to my mother, who had it reset and wore it, then put it in a safe deposit box. I think she was just being generous to me as I was a single mom to a toddler at the time. It is still in a safe deposit box and will come back to me at some point after my father's passing. My current dh sold his ring at a gold buying store some years after his divorce. Is there a cause you support? Donate the rings. I think it will feel good. :) Bury them if you wish, as well. They are yours to do with as you see fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My mom was engaged to someone, not my dad, when I was a toddler. The relationship ended, amicably, due to circumstances beyond their control. I don't even remember him. But I love that ring. I think it represents my mom's happiness when she received it. It doesn't mean much to her, but its one of my favorite things. She gave it to me as a wedding gift, and I'm so glad to have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Often rings are worth a lot less than you realize because the value is based on what style is popular when. My grandmother's ring was bought for $10K in the 80s and appraised at 2.5K a few years back. $2K of that was the stone, $500 or so was the platinum setting. So, while it is "real money", it was a lot less than anyone in the family expected. Getting an appraisal might help you decide what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 We sold an ugly men's ring that my husband received from his employer for meeting annual sales goals. It was like a school ring with Honda logos all over it! The local pawn shop gave us $350 for it. We took the money and treated ourselves to a weekend getaway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I would sell them or give them away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 As someone who's very anti-divorce I'd have no qualms about wearing a ring that's been involved in one. I see no reason not to sell it. If I buy it from you then it's mine and a part of my marriage, not a part of your divorce. Besides, if someone wants a ring that hasn't been involved in a divorce they can pay top dollar for one. I have no opinion on what you should do, but don't worry about it's history because some people won't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I'd wait a year, and if I still felt the same way I'd probably throw it in a lake and have a picnic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Sell the set on diamondbistro.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Sell them, freecycle them, toss them in the nearest volcano, tuck them in the junk drawer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I sold my 1.1 carat solitaire to my mother, who had it reset and wore it, then put it in a safe deposit box. I think she was just being generous to me as I was a single mom to a toddler at the time. It is still in a safe deposit box and will come back to me at some point after my father's passing. My current dh sold his ring at a gold buying store some years after his divorce. Is there a cause you support? Donate the rings. I think it will feel good. :) Bury them if you wish, as well. They are yours to do with as you see fit. Paula! You could be one of those red kettle stories! Perfect time of year to drop them in a Salvation Army bucket! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Ex still wears his ring, I can't get past this part. I would do what gives you the most closure, and whatever would get his off his finger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arnold Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Paula! You could be one of those red kettle stories! Perfect time of year to drop them in a Salvation Army bucket! OMG!!! Yes, that would be amazing. I love hearing those stories on the news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I would give them to my kids or have them remade into something for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CupOCoffee Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Sell the set on diamondbistro.com. To the OP...do what your heart tells you, but I agree with waiting a year or so. In a year, maybe your son would be interested. to trulycrabby: I wonder if I am the only other person here who knows that place...I love that place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Note to self: Spend day looking for jewelry in the ocean. OP, I fully agree with everyone else about giving it a moment, then doing whatever feels right to you. And just for the record I prefer vintage, used jewelry because I love the idea of a piece of jewelry having a varied life with stories to tell. Which sounds way weird now that I said it out loud... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Throw it in the river. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuanitaL Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I kept the rings from my first marriage for a while after the divorce then one day I looked at the box they were in as I was unpacking from a move. I took them to the beach and tossed them in the ocean. I had been unsure of what I wanted to do with them until that day. Keep them until you are certain what you want to do with them. I can just imagine the joy some Hobbit-crazed kid might experience while playing at the beach one day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommybee Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Haven't read all the replies but my failed marriage has broken my heart and I still haven't recovered. I only had a gold band but I took a hammer to mine and flattened it. Made me feel better temporarily. I kept imagining driving over it so that was the next best thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 If you do bury them, you should get them a little coffin. http://www.weddingringcoffin.com/index.php I am just kidding, of course. Another place to sell might be exboyfriendjewelry.com Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Haven't read all the replies but my failed marriage has broken my heart and I still haven't recovered. I only had a gold band but I took a hammer to mine and flattened it. Made me feel better temporarily. I kept imagining driving over it so that was the next best thing. (((Hugs)))) it does get better. I promise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I've been saving my rings and my wedding pictures to give to my oldest. I have thought about selling them and would if we needed the money, but I don't think I'd get much for them anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I kept mine because I figured one of my daughters may want it one day. It isn't worth much, but I did wear it when I married their father. It just sits in my jewelry box. I barely think of it. Actually, I had two. The original and the one I upgraded two several years into the marriage. The original I still have. The upgrade "mysteriously" disappeared. I'm fairly certain it ended up in a pawn shop somewhere, courtesy of my ex. I really don't care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I kept mine because I figured one of my daughters may want it one day. It isn't worth much, but I did wear it when I married their father. It just sits in my jewelry box. I barely think of it. Actually, I had two. The original and the one I upgraded two several years into the marriage. The original I still have. The upgrade "mysteriously" disappeared. I'm fairly certain it ended up in a pawn shop somewhere, courtesy of my ex. I really don't care. Maybe he is saving it for one of your daughters. LOL....probably not huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Maybe he is saving it for one of your daughters. LOL....probably not huh? Haha! No....I'm 100% certain that is not the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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