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swellmomma

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swellmomma last won the day on August 4 2013

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About swellmomma

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    Leader of the Feline AK brigade, honorary Ninja Elephant
  • Birthday June 13

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    Alberta, Canada
  • Interests
    Obstacle Course Racing

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  • Location
    Alberta, Canada
  • Interests
    Scrapbooking, Cross stitch, Cake Decorating, Crocheting, learning to knit and sew, Love to read
  • Occupation
    Life Skills Coordinator at Libbie Young Centre

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  1. I am still working on my weight loss. It is a very very slow journey as I have adrenal crap going on that makes it feel impossible at times. That said I have been making progress gaining muscle and strength, so my composition is changing more than my actual weight. I have learned I can not go too low carb or I become murderous haha and can't control my temper. So low carb is okay but atkins, whole30, keto etc are not a good fit for me. I am just starting to look at tracking macros and think that will be my best bet in addition to the exercise I do.
  2. Um she is 5, she can be sad all she wants, as the parent it is up to you to protect her and make the big decisions, such as when to start homeschooling. Outside of the bullying issue, no way would I have my kids in a school run by a crazy person.
  3. Now that my email has blown up with notifications from this thread I decided to pop over to the hive and check with everyone :) Hey everyone, long time no see :) Love what you have done with the place haha
  4. If your period is not due until the weekend you would not be experiencing pregnancy symptoms yet. You would only be implanting around now an most people would not even consider the likelyhood they ,may be pregnant at this point. Chances are it is simply hormones and pms causing your "symptoms". Have the glass of wine and relax. As for the connection between drinking and adhd etc, I have 4 with adhd and never drank during pg, rarely drink at all (3 glasses of wine per year at most). As well, I do not believe for 1 second that a glass of wine with dinner is going to affect a blastocyst that may have implanted a couple days before the dinner party. Give me a break. We may as well put a ban on drinking for all sexual women of childbearing age, (looking back I see others have said this too). Enjoy the dinner party with your husband, pee on a stick on Sunday and then come back and tell us what it says. Or by one of those early first response tests and pee on it on Wednesday am and decide based on that if you want a drink with dinner.
  5. My older kids were in ps for 3 and 2 years respectively and 1 year now for grade 12. In the early years it was all busy work with no integrated stuff. It was worksheets to fill out, spelling words, reading etc (my kids all read daily for the most part, I just suck at filling out the stupid sheet of paper, but also I feel reading time should be organic, as in some days they will read for an hour or more, some days not at all, assigning a time period daily turns it into a chore they learn to hate). Anyway, never projects,reports or carry over stuff etc. Oldest was in 2 different schools for elem and now the alternative high school and never was it anything like that. The alternative high school does not assign homework ever. They go for a 4 day school week and just progress through their subjects at their own pace during regular school hours. The School ds13 was in is the same at dd9, in the 2 months he was there homework was again always just busy work, and that was for grade 7, for dd9 again always busy work. She has never had a multi-step project, report etc that was assigned to be done at home. It is always piles of worksheets. She has never been out of step with major projects because they are all done at school. She has not missed out on anything all year by not doing the stupid worksheets, and is already registered to return to homeschooling in the fall. She just needs to finish up the last 14 school days of this school year.
  6. Honestly, as a parent I would still refuse to do it. You as teacher are free to assign it, but it ain't going to happen in my home. In my home I finish work at 6pm, get home for 630 if there is no evening extracurric. The earliest we eat dinner is 8pm, then bath, prepare for next day and bed. There is not a single minute of that evening time that I would waste on homework. That is my home policy and my home policy trumps any the school has. Unless the school is going to provide a maid, chef, chauffeur, pay my salary etc they have no say what happens past 330pm when the dismissal bell goes.
  7. See I am very against it (even my teens high school did not assign homework, yet the elementary did. Anyway, she is already in school all day, evenings are for extracurrics, family time, rest etc. No kid needs to be doing school 7+ hours a day plus more at night. There is more to life and developing a well rounded human than academics. If they can't accomplish all the work in those 7 hours that is on tem to better manage their time, not up to us to give up the few precious hours in the evening for other endeavors to more homework. Plus dd is just done by the end of the day. She gives her all at school, maintains As and Bs despite her LDs, her brain is fried by the time I finish work at 6pm (she comes to afterschool care if not at an activity after school).
  8. I am glad that is not the case in dd9s class. Truth be told we are the poorest in her class, enough so that her teacher went and bought her new shoes because the ones she had were way to small but it was going to be another 3 weeks before I could even consider new ones. Teacher got a pair on deep clearance for her to help me out (boy did dd's feet grow though, 4 sizes in 6 weeks). Felt like crap for that one, unfortunately new shoes for her were last because I had just bougt new ones a few weeks earlier and other kids also needed some, but anyway, dd is a favorite student, and best at everything (okay not everything, but pretty well and well regarded by her peers) yet definitely not from the wealthiest family. She just has a home rich in literature, science, learning all the time etc. Most of the other families do not. Many don't even own more than a handful of books at home, even the wealthiest ones (bookcases filled with books and not vases etc are not aesthetically pleasing)
  9. And this is why we will be returning to hsing everyone next fall. It turns out I am the worst ps parent ever. I have refused to make d do hw all year, told the teachers it was never going to happen. DD spent a week in and out of hospital recently and the school put the package of homework together, told them I would pick it up but told them I make no promises of it being completed or handed in. DD is missing 2 days of school this coming week because my work schedule will prevent me from getting her there and I am not even a little bit sorry. She has 2 main teachers and both have commented on what a delight she is in class, helpful, respectful, vast background knowledge etc. She has good marks, they are finally getting OT help for her as I had been pushing all year because I knew there was an LD, So the OT comes in once a week to work with her now. She has had some good experiences and made some friends but it is time to be done there. Thankfully I chose a school for her this year that understood from the beginning that I am philosophically opposed to ps, that I was using them to suit my own needs this year not because I have no other options, and I have been honest with them from the beginning. I can't even fake being a good ps mom, I simply am not. And yet her teachers say how much they wish I would enroll her next year too because they have told the next teacher about her and she wants dd to be her student. They support me homeschooling again, just say they are going to miss her and how she is the perfect student they wish all students would be like (though I am sure I am not the mother they hope for lol, though I generally just leave them to do what they do, I am not the pushy mom or dictating how they do their jobs etc, so maybe they don't mind me and my refusal to follow ps protocol lol)
  10. Okay totally an aside but I use mom lectures (and teacher lectures at work) as a "threat". So at work for example today I had a couple young girls breaking the rules, I looked at them and told them they needed to make an immediate decision. They could follow the rules and show me they do in fact know them or I could break out one of my handy-dandy lectures and talk nonstop until I felt they knew the rules. They both broke out into giggles and chose to the follow the rules minus the lecture. With my own kids if I see a conversation heading towards disaster due to the actions of one, so lets say son is wanting to blame everyone around him for why his life is apparently in shambles rather than correcting his own actions and part of the problem, I will give him the option to either stop speaking, take the time to think and come back when ready for a civil conversation or I can break out into a lecture about being in charge of your own actions, they tend to choose option 1 lol So mom lectures do in fact work....without having to actually state them (though I have in fact given my fair share of them over the years for the kids to know exactly how long I can beat a dead horse lol)
  11. In my home "I statements" are the best way to talk to my teens "I hear you saying...", "I am feeling..." Everything focused on the I, reason being as soon as a conversation turns to a you statement "you need to..." people get defensive and shut down. When I read the example of the conversation I can see why your teen is not feeling heard. So you agreed that X is undervaluing him, why carry on from there? Is it not enough to say "That sounds really frustrating when someone undervalues you." period. When someone is feeling frustrated with a situation they are looking to feel heard and validated not told how the other person is important too and to basically suck it up. Those might be the truths of the situation but in that moment not at all what your teen needs. You could expand and say "would you like some help brainstorming ideas of how to fix that?", "How can I help?" etc. Most likely your teen already knows the other truths you mentioned but in that moment just needs to vent, decompress, whatever and be truly heard. Another bit, about the labelling things as being entitled etc. Would it be okay for him to name call you or others for that matter? I doubt it. So why is it okay to name call him? How does that add to the conversation? Instead of saying he is sounding entitled, why not stick with "I can not make that work in my budget/time whatever right now, if that is important to you why don't we figure out how you can make it happen" and then make some suggestions of ways he can earn the money needed, or carve out time needed if that was the case etc. He may very well be behaving in an entitled way BUT what purpose does it serve to label it/him in that moment? I know my mother labelled me that way a few times as a teen because I asked for something over and above what she had intended. I labelled her right back in my head as a b*tch. It is so much easier and more conducive to keeping dialogue open to offer to be a sounding board for their ideas than to shut them down and label things and then get mad when they shut down and get defensive. If the issue comes of of rude tone from teen then I simply tell them it is not okay to speak to me in that way, and when they are ready to try again with an appropriate tone I would be here. The same as I would hope any person out there would do if someone was speaking rudely to them. At any rate, I feel your teen has a valid point about how he is feeling the conversations are going and while his perceptions of your motives are not correct, his reasoning behind feeling that way has merit.
  12. Couple of thoughts as I read the thread, to me while the threat was over the top I do not think it warranted a note home, a reminder to the boy of appropriate words to be used at school by the teacher should have been enough. As well, he is a young child who is saying ridiculous things, even if he says rude things regularly that means he says rude things not that he is a terrible child.Third, I see so often in my line of work so many people crying bully when the behaviour is simply rude or mean. Pushing into a mud puddle is mean but not bullying, saying what he did is rude but not bullying. Bullying is not just intent to do harm, it is someone intending to do harm through the repeated and consistent targeting of someone. This child may have undiagnosed issues, he may simply be a child who needs more supports and guidance in prosocial behaviours, or he may be a child being raised in a home where rude behaviours are the norm. In the end he is still a child that needs to be actively taught appropriate behaviours and not be labelled as a trouble maker, bully, etc at only 5 yrs old. A child already clearly hated by family will not care if they learn the proper behaviours because they are already labelled in a negative way.
  13. I'll pop you a pm in a moment. I have been with several different boards over the years for different reasons and currently thinking ahead to next year if I want to stay with the board we are with or switch again.
  14. Big hugs. If it helps ease your mind about the other kids, just because it is congenital (there from birth), does not mean there is any high risk for your other kids. Most likely you and them are just fine, it just happens sometimes. Hope you gets some good answers from the cardiologist.
  15. For the most part my experience has been the same for most of my decisions. A few have attacked my beliefs but they tend to be family that needs to be put in their place, one online that I also knew irl that is just plain crazy. People have attacked me verbally about my kids, in this small minded town, in the city we didn't have much of that (1 crazy neighbor lol but she was like that with the whole neighborhood). Now that said as the kids have grown up, and are still good kids, with quirks, but proud of them people leave us the heck alone. Pretty hard to claim we are screwing up as homeschoolers for example, when your own kid was expelled from ps for coming to school high too often. Or because my dd is her own lgtbq-ness and doesn't hide it, and their daughter is pregnant in 9th grade etc (these things are common in my tiny village). Plus I am the type that if you insult me or my choices I let it roll on by, but if you insult my kid or their choices you will see my other side quickly. ANd resting b*tch face does a lot to alleviate it, I always look like I am contemplating who to kill when really I am thinking about my grocery list or something lol
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