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Little Nyssa

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Everything posted by Little Nyssa

  1. Not to derail your discussion too much... but your experience of Orthodoxy is so much different than mine... at our place kids are encouraged to ask questions... there is not that much griping about noise... re: Patriarchy and women's experiences: in my experience women have quite a lot of power... you might read Carrie Frost's Maternal Body (new book). Also, Orthodoxy has a lot of room for 'don't know' and 'it's a mystery' type answers, which you might find more comfortable in your present state as you talk to your daughter.
  2. Almost missed a wedding reception... the directions we were told were 'the restaurant is 1213 Porter Street.' After following Mapquest out into the desert for 40 minutes and not finding it... and travelling back into town to get cell phone coverage so we could call someone and ask... we found that that wasn't the ADDRESS. That was the restaurant's ACTUAL NAME! (Name changed in this post to protect the innocent)
  3. I would have asked him about the purchase right away and told him kindly how I felt about it, if indeed it was for me. I wouldn't want to accept it, trying to be kind, and then have to wear it and secretly resent it perhaps for years! But I would have expressed this right away, not waiting for Christmas morning. How did it go?
  4. WTH? This happened in class? Where was the teacher? How could the teacher not respond, if the kid moved his chair and began abusing your DS for 5 minutes? How can any learning take place in such an environment? Why was the teacher not in control of the classroom? I would ask for a meeting with the teacher, and if I wasn't satisfied then I'd talk again with the VP from that point of view: that the teacher needs some further training etc.
  5. In our experience, MIL’s doctor would not touch the problem of driving. In California there is a state authority you can call to report an unsafe senior driver, but I did call in one case and after several months there had been no consequences, so I would not rely on that, because you need something to happen quickly. For my MIL there was no solution except having her move to where we are (different state) and the car was left behind. I would explain to her what the problem is, having taken away the keys already so you don’t get into a shoving match over them; also have nephew & wife hide their own keys when not in use. This will be really hard but it concerns everyone’s safety. ?
  6. 1. Visit a range of places in your area. 2. Visit on a Sunday night- that is when you’ll see the times when the supervisory staff may be absent and the rest of the staff may be taking it easy- so you will see the place at its worst. That will give you an indication of how bad it may get. If it’s okay then, likely it will be okay otherwise. 3. Are you sure that mom has good cognitive health? In our experience, MIL was accepted to live in a lovely assisted living place: think big windows, palm trees, waterfalls, but the DAY before she was to move in, they evaluated her and found her to have dementia and needed to be in the locked part of the facility- which was like a hospital, dark, and dirty, way in the back. It would be good to be sure of what she needs beforehand so as not to be blindsided. (SIL did not let her move in there- we found another place.) 4. Find a place that has a nice memory-care wing attached, so if she needs it later, it will be there and not too much of an upheaval for her to move to it. 5. Ask the local Alzheimer’s association for several recommendations. Even if she is cognitively well, those folks know the neighborhood. 6. It’s best to move into a facility which is brand-new, because then it will be state of the art and the staff will be on their ‘A-game’ trying to recruit more residents, so it will be in much better condition than it will be in 10 years. good luck!
  7. Truly he is risen! I was off the WTM for Lent so I had no idea about the forum change til I came back! I’m finding it hard to get used to because the letters are so tiny, it’s hard for me to read with my middle-aged eyes...
  8. (Hugs) I hope you were able to to enjoy other parts of Holy Week?
  9. The new forums are hard for me to read because the letters are too tiny... I’m here squinting. ? Is there any way I can reset it? Thanks!
  10. So glad to hear that you are going ahead with your dream, after considering all factors! Best wishes to you!
  11. Prayers for you! So glad about the sleep. I have a close relative who had schizoaffective disorder and it was awful for our family. I know what you are talking about. In my experience nobody understands like another family member. I hope that you are already connected with NAMI? It's run by family members of people with severe mental illness. They have support groups & classes. They have chapters all over the country. I really really love them.
  12. Thank you so much for all these suggestions- MIL was scammed over the phone and by mail to the tune of thousands of $$. In her case the only way to stop it was when she moved into a 'memory care' unit. She no longer has her own phone. All her mail is forwarded to us... now we have to deal with the mounds of junk.
  13. The mom reported it after a week and a half, but the Coast Guard could not find them. And, as of now they have to stay on the Navy boat until it comes into port on its own schedule- it won't make a special trip back to the US just for them- and the articles said that it wasn't clear when that'd be.
  14. We are using Ourpact and it is working pretty well so far.
  15. The best book about writing and a writer's life, hands down, is: Becoming a Writer: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Writer-Dorothea-Brande/dp/0874771641 Also the writing books by UK Le Guin, Annie Lamott, Essays on Literature by Nabokov, Stephen King, and the Afterward to Umberto Eco's Name of the Rose-- although not all that they say will be applicable to everyone. Here is a free online magazine I just discovered at a local poetry read: http://www.authorspublish.com/ Also, the Writer's Guide. I got my copy at the local library bookstore: they always keep the latest year's edition, so I got last year's for $1. :) Also the FB page Writing About Writing. You may or may not agree with the fellow's political or moral stance, but he does publish some very helpful info. 1. Sit down and write every day. (Becoming a Writer has excellent exercises) 2. Protect that time. 3. Read a lot- the classics. 4. Don't get discouraged. If your writing is not good at first, it will get better. 5. Go to readings in your local community and meet other writers/poets. 6. Don't consider doing an MFA unless you really have counted the cost. :) 7. Don't pay any attention to 'writers' block'-- if you can't write your novel, try writing in some other genre that day. 8. Write down a one-sentence summary/soundbite that describes your book: this will be so helpful when you come to make cover letters for literary agents/ publishers. Then expand it to a one-page synopsis. That will also be needed later. It's so much easier to write these first than backengineer them from a whole book. Good luck!
  16. It would not bother me at all, and I wouldn't interfere. MIL made a plan independently with the AHG leader. That would be fine with me- it wouldn't take away anything from her real birthday the next day, it is just a nice treat. If AHG leader felt it was not appropriate, that would have been her business to say so, and her business also to tell MIL how many girls to plan for.
  17. Sometimes us DILs have to be the instigator. My dear sweet MIL would not be safe in memory care right now if I had not taken charge.
  18. ((Hugs)) Also find your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Associatioin http://m.alz.org/find-your-local-chapter.asp Because they will have local resources, support groups, steps to take etc.- in addition to everything PPs have said above. Talking with them on the phone helped us immeasurably when MIL needed to go into a memory care facility. I love them.
  19. Very safe & reliable... except that we've had the head gasket break down on 2 different Subaru- one at about 10 years (which is only to be expected, apparently), and the other immediately after we bought it used-- had to take it back to seller and insist they fix it, which they did for free, but they put in some kind of screw wrong and it failed again after 2 years-- and this was the dealership. I would caution you NOT to buy UNLESS you have an independent third party check the car over.
  20. Sorry, does not sound normal to me. I would take her to a Dr for reassurance. A good doctor is going to be very unlikely to do a GYN exam on such a young person unless really necessary.
  21. I'm also appalled that the Dr thought she could still drive... 'within certain parameters'... who is going to enforce those parameters? That's not realistic and it's very dangerous for her & other drivers. My MIL was slipping into dementia and SILs thought it was no problem for her to still drive... she got into an accident and managed to keep it a secret for months. Fortunately nobody was killed. My MIL now lives in a locked ward near us & is quite happy there. The only way we were able to get her to stop driving was to have her move near us- which involved her moving to a new state, leaving her car behind. She now has no car, no keys, no license, and at the stage of her disease that she is at now, she rarely misses it. I realize this is an extreme solution but this is the only thing that worked for our family. ETA: I meant to say first, I'm so glad she was found.
  22. If you come to our church festival, you will get great Greek food, but you will have to pay for it. It's not expensive, but it's not free either. So no sense of obligation required on your part. You can come into the church for a tour too. That's your free choice. Non-creepy, non-icky.
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