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Little Nyssa

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Little Nyssa last won the day on January 1 2013

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About Little Nyssa

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    Neither Brave Nor Silly, I think

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  1. Not to derail your discussion too much... but your experience of Orthodoxy is so much different than mine... at our place kids are encouraged to ask questions... there is not that much griping about noise... re: Patriarchy and women's experiences: in my experience women have quite a lot of power... you might read Carrie Frost's Maternal Body (new book). Also, Orthodoxy has a lot of room for 'don't know' and 'it's a mystery' type answers, which you might find more comfortable in your present state as you talk to your daughter.
  2. About the interviewing question... 1. Sometimes HR departments are chaotic but the rest of the organization isn't necessarily. And 2. On the "Ask a Manager" blog she gives lots of helpful advice about understanding what's going on with interviewers and which things they say that you shouldn't take personally.
  3. Almost missed a wedding reception... the directions we were told were 'the restaurant is 1213 Porter Street.' After following Mapquest out into the desert for 40 minutes and not finding it... and travelling back into town to get cell phone coverage so we could call someone and ask... we found that that wasn't the ADDRESS. That was the restaurant's ACTUAL NAME! (Name changed in this post to protect the innocent)
  4. I would have asked him about the purchase right away and told him kindly how I felt about it, if indeed it was for me. I wouldn't want to accept it, trying to be kind, and then have to wear it and secretly resent it perhaps for years! But I would have expressed this right away, not waiting for Christmas morning. How did it go?
  5. WTH? This happened in class? Where was the teacher? How could the teacher not respond, if the kid moved his chair and began abusing your DS for 5 minutes? How can any learning take place in such an environment? Why was the teacher not in control of the classroom? I would ask for a meeting with the teacher, and if I wasn't satisfied then I'd talk again with the VP from that point of view: that the teacher needs some further training etc.
  6. I'm sorry I'm responding late to this... I've thought a lot about this. I grew up Catholic and am now Orthodox so I can sympathize with your thoughts, OP. I was giving a church tour the other day and this gave me a chance to crystallize my thoughts about abuse/coverup in the OC because many Catholics came & were asking questions. Here's what I think: there are scandals in the EO from time to time, and I've known several priests who were defrocked, and justifiably so. This is very painful for everyone and a shock. (None of the ones I know about were about abusing children.) However I think what is different is personality- I'd rather not share which jurisdiction I'm in for privacy reason, but let me just say that the ethnic groups I see most who are Orthodox are rather... loud. Perhaps temperamental sometimes? If they see a scandal, they're not going to just shut up about it and kick it under the rug. They're going to be mad. So there's not so much that feeling of shame and guilt and 'we mustn't rock the boat, we must keep quiet and preserve the church' and that kind of thing. Plus since the church is smaller (here in the US) everyone knows each other and it is more likely that a victim will have someone in a position of power to advocate for them with a bishop. Our own hierarch has acted VERY swiftly to defrock when necessary. We have in place a whole procedure of training for Sunday School teachers. Policies, two-deep adults, etc. Background checks and the training for people who serve on the altar also are to be in place by next year. Training & checks for camp counselors also. Any event of abuse is to be reported to the civil authorities immediately as well as to the bishop. There's a whole movement toward all these things, in the jurisdiction I'm in as well as some others. The other thing, though, that I haven't really seen in the coverage of the RC problems, is that there are difficult people in churches too, who will make a false accusation and write letters to a bishop criticizing a priest when they have a grudge against him or a disagreement and they want to get back at him. The bishop has to discern whether to pay attention to these letters or not. However, this phenomenon is a sign that Orthodox people know that the bishop is there to keep priests in line. If they have a problem, they can go to him. I don't know how comfortable Catholics feel about this, if they would think of this, as a usual thing to do. ETA: I'm not AT ALL saying that the RC problems that are coming out are false. Those are cases that have been proved legally and I would never want to say I don't believe the victims. I believe them. What I want to say, is that in the EO, perhaps unlike RC, (?) there is a phenomenon of false accusation which exists alongside the true accusations.
  7. In our experience, MIL’s doctor would not touch the problem of driving. In California there is a state authority you can call to report an unsafe senior driver, but I did call in one case and after several months there had been no consequences, so I would not rely on that, because you need something to happen quickly. For my MIL there was no solution except having her move to where we are (different state) and the car was left behind. I would explain to her what the problem is, having taken away the keys already so you don’t get into a shoving match over them; also have nephew & wife hide their own keys when not in use. This will be really hard but it concerns everyone’s safety. ?
  8. 1. Visit a range of places in your area. 2. Visit on a Sunday night- that is when you’ll see the times when the supervisory staff may be absent and the rest of the staff may be taking it easy- so you will see the place at its worst. That will give you an indication of how bad it may get. If it’s okay then, likely it will be okay otherwise. 3. Are you sure that mom has good cognitive health? In our experience, MIL was accepted to live in a lovely assisted living place: think big windows, palm trees, waterfalls, but the DAY before she was to move in, they evaluated her and found her to have dementia and needed to be in the locked part of the facility- which was like a hospital, dark, and dirty, way in the back. It would be good to be sure of what she needs beforehand so as not to be blindsided. (SIL did not let her move in there- we found another place.) 4. Find a place that has a nice memory-care wing attached, so if she needs it later, it will be there and not too much of an upheaval for her to move to it. 5. Ask the local Alzheimer’s association for several recommendations. Even if she is cognitively well, those folks know the neighborhood. 6. It’s best to move into a facility which is brand-new, because then it will be state of the art and the staff will be on their ‘A-game’ trying to recruit more residents, so it will be in much better condition than it will be in 10 years. good luck!
  9. Truly he is risen! I was off the WTM for Lent so I had no idea about the forum change til I came back! I’m finding it hard to get used to because the letters are so tiny, it’s hard for me to read with my middle-aged eyes...
  10. (Hugs) I hope you were able to to enjoy other parts of Holy Week?
  11. The new forums are hard for me to read because the letters are too tiny... I’m here squinting. ? Is there any way I can reset it? Thanks!
  12. So glad to hear that you are going ahead with your dream, after considering all factors! Best wishes to you!
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