dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Ds18 has been struggling with mental illness for a couple of years, but we did not find out until last fall when he had a major crisis. He has been stable for the last 6 months or so and we have been happily, but cautiously, preparing for college. He has been taking karate at the same dojo for 11 years and is due to take his adult-level black-belt test in under two weeks. He knows that this next week of classes will be really tough as they try to whip these kids into shape to be ready. In past years, the dojo was very organized about this test and would have had these build-up classes start much earlier in the summer. But, this year, Sensei seems very distracted and they don't have their act together on this. My son is very torn about this test. He had to miss a lot of class this past winter due to his health problems - the meds make him very fatigued. He has been diligent this summer about attending and he has been working with a trainer separately for physical conditioning. He knows everything he needs to know - and has been ready on that aspect for 2 years - since his older brother took his test. But he is very concerned about the mental rigors of this test. He isn't sure if he wants it enough to endure what he knows is coming. He is very distressed about it. This evening, he hemmed and hawed about going to class, knowing that it was going to be a grueling class. We finally convinced him to go and give it a shot. He came home 15 minutes after he left, refusing to go in after he saw a particularly harsh sensei show up. We have told him to call the main Sensei and talk with him about his concerns - this man is known to take in troubled kids. But my son has not revealed his struggles to Sensei. Now that he is down to the wire, he is very anxious and some of his old habits are coming out. Please pray for him that he is able to overcome his anxiety and make a decision that he can live with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying!!! :grouphug: I hope everything works out for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 He'll be in my thoughts. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I will. Is this the kind of test where they basically fight and beat the crap out of them? I remember the black belt degree tests at my son's martial arts studio. I was so surprised at the guts it took to voluntarily undergo the fighting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for him! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjand6more Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Anxiety can be debilitating. Praying for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I will. Is this the kind of test where they basically fight and beat the crap out of them? I remember the black belt degree tests at my son's martial arts studio. I was so surprised at the guts it took to voluntarily undergo the fighting. More or less. It is about 6 hours - they have to show every thing they have learned from the beginning, which takes hours. They have to do lots and lots of push ups (hundreds). They have to be ready at any given time to get jumped by 2 black belts and fight his way out using any means necessary. While it is very difficult for the person getting jumped, it is no picnic for the jumpers either - they will get scratched, clawed, hair pulled, punched. He has to do a self-defense gauntlet to protect himself against punches from a whole line of experienced black belts. When my oldest did the test, he had some mighty bruises on his chest from some of the fastest hands in the country. My son is partially worried that he might just go all apt-sh#! on them if he feels a rage coming on. I just have to trust that Sensei, who has known him for 11 years, will be able to get my son to talk openly and help him make an intelligent decision - not based on fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thanks, everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for your son! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Prayers ðŸ™ðŸ™ðŸ™ Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Ellen :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for wisdom for him and peace for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Sending positive thoughts his way. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Praying for him and his decision. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for him. I have a child who is just beginning their 'mental health journey', and it is scary. I imagine the stress of something that huge is very intimidating. Gentle (((HUGS))) to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: anxiety is such a b*tch. and it is so hard when you can see the child is so very capable of the very thing they are most anxious about and it is hard to find that place to encourage them to overcome the anxiety and try without making them feel like you are negating their feelings on the issue. I'll be praying that he can overcome long enough to see the success he is capable of. With my kids that have anxiety I find myself repeating to them "we do not let fear rule our lives" and I am trying to make it a motto of sorts. For the teens I add in their cadet motto "fear no foe". So far the first one is working, and they are pushing themselves through most things (never worked for getting dd to do abseiling this year) but it is repeated often. With 3 kids battling anxiety mixed with their other issues (2 have anxiety with their adhd, 1 anxiety with other mental health issues) I feel like I say it 100 times a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Can this test be postponed until he feels better prepared since the instructor(s) didn't seem as organized as in the past? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 praying for your son. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerka528 Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That sounds absolutely brutal, even without any issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Will pray for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Praying here. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Can this test be postponed until he feels better prepared since the instructor(s) didn't seem as organized as in the past? Unfortunately, this test is only offered once every couple of years. It used to be offered annually, but he hasn't had enough people ready for it to offer it more often. Black Belt students that studied under this sensei come in from all over the country to help with this test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hugs and prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 UPDATE: Thanks so much for your prayers! He met with Sensei this afternoon, who assured my son that he had nothing to worry about. He was probably the most prepared of all those who are testing. He also told him not to be too concerned about the physical fitness preparation - Sensei knows by how ds handles himself in class that he is adequately prepared on that front. The kids who are uber fit simply have more demanded of them. He is probably more fit than some of the adults. Part of the test is psychological - can they handle this "mini-boot-camp" environment. One thing that was related to him was to treat this whole ordeal like theater ... they are all players in a big drama. The senseis who will be very tough on him during the test are the ones who have been cheering him along all these years and will be his friends when the test is over. My son came home smiling from ear to ear - such a relief. I would hate for him to give up his dream of a black belt in karate when he has put in over a decade of training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 What a wonderful update! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 UPDATE: Thanks so much for your prayers! He met with Sensei this afternoon, who assured my son that he had nothing to worry about. He was probably the most prepared of all those who are testing. He also told him not to be too concerned about the physical fitness preparation - Sensei knows by how ds handles himself in class that he is adequately prepared on that front. The kids who are uber fit simply have more demanded of them. He is probably more fit than some of the adults. Part of the test is psychological - can they handle this "mini-boot-camp" environment. One thing that was related to him was to treat this whole ordeal like theater ... they are all players in a big drama. The senseis who will be very tough on him during the test are the ones who have been cheering him along all these years and will be his friends when the test is over. My son came home smiling from ear to ear - such a relief. I would hate for him to give up his dream of a black belt in karate when he has put in over a decade of training. What a huge step for him and such great support. What a wonderful sensei. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I wasn't online last night, so I missed this whole thread, but I'm so glad to hear that everything worked out for your son! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 If you could all keep him in your prayers on August 9th, we would appreciate it. That is D-Day (or should I say B-B Day.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hooray! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 If you could all keep him in your prayers on August 9th, we would appreciate it. That is D-Day (or should I say B-B Day.) Absolutely. And it sounds like a great program with good people. :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 So glad he is more confident now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Thank you for the update! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I'm glad he talked to his Sensei! We will be cheering him on on the 9th! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I am so glad he met with the sensei and it was a productive meeting. I have a child on this path and I continually wonder at his persistence in basically volunteering to get beat up twice a week. I hope your son has a successful blck best test! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Ellen, I'm just now seeing this or I would have prayed then! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 So glad he found the courage to speak with his sensei. What a great update! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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