Flowing Brook Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 You should have went in the lake and rescued Rowan. Especially after I tell them he was fifty feet out and the ice was only solid for thirty. Yes I am well aware that he was "Just a dog." I am sorry to keep bring Rowan up. I just feel like these people are adding salt on my wounds. It was hard enough to stand there and watch him drown. It took everything I had not to go out there and rescue him. The fact that he was "just a dog" is what stopped me. Vent over feel free to ignore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 sorry. People can be very insensitive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Speaking on behalf of the board here - you have our collective permission to cut that person dead. Sorry, but that's insane. I am the hugest dog-lover in the world and there is no way I would go in a frozen lake for one. Just no way. I'm sorry to hear about your dog. It was a very sad thing and we grieve when one of our pets dies. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Are these the same people who told you not to thank the firemen? I am not sure that these people are worth listening to. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Who would say that??? If you know anyone who guilt trips you for not jumping into a FROZEN LAKE, you should do whatever you can to not know that person anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Honestly, people can be so insensitive when it comes to death, animal or human, they just really don't know what to say so they stick their foot in their mouths. No, you should not have risked your children losing their mother for the sake of a pet, however loved he was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I am so sorry. People can be such idiots. My family loves our dog but no way would I go out on ice to rescue him. Nor would I let my kids attempt it. Doesn't mean our hearts wouldn't be broken. I'm so sorry and I think you should come here to vent anytime you need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5of5 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Terrible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted January 6, 2014 Author Share Posted January 6, 2014 Unfortunately it is people I work for. A lady that is training me. Then there are the wonderful stories of people that went in a pond or river to save their drowning pet. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I live near the ocean and we have stuff like this all. the. time: http://calcoastnews.com/2013/01/fifth-person-drowns-trying-to-rescue-a-dog/ happen all the time. It's not an icy lake, but there are big waves. These folks need to zip it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 :grouphug: Sometimes people say such stupid things. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard to imagine what you went through without tearing up. It's going to take time to grieve. Please don't listen to the crazies while you grieve, they are not worth the time spent listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Anyone who tells you that is slime. I used a clean word, because this is a family oriented forum. Many Good Samaritans have died, trying to help a human who was drowning, or in some other emergency situation. You did the correct thing, by not risking your own life. If anyone tells you that you should have tried to rescue him, try to ignore their incredibly ignorant comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 You experienced a trauma and these people are truly being insensitive along with being wrong. I'm glad you know you can vent here. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne115 Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I am so sorry. Losing a pet is hard enough without having people be so insensitive. I lost my male standard poodle in early December and I am still crying for him. In my opinion, their comments are just plain cruel. Suzanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 A few months ago, I read a story where a teen girl lost her father, mother, and brother to drowning because the brother tried to save their dog from rough waves at the beach. His parents then followed him in to try to save him. The dog washed ashore and survived. What if you had gone in? Would your mother have stood by? Perhaps you could have saved Rowan, and lost your panicked mother, who drowned in her efforts to save you. Perhaps you all might have lived. Maybe you all would have died. I don't think of my Sam as just a dog. He's part of our family. But how would risking more lives be a tribute to him or to your Rowan? I'm so sorry for your loss, puddles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Want me to take them out for you? Sheesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I'm so sorry. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLovesT Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 So sorry, your pain should not be compounded like this ((( hug))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I am just so sorry for your loss. There's nothing you could have done. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I am sorry for Rowan. But I am more thankful that you are alive and safe. Whenever someone unfeeling makes another comment, think of your family and how blessed they are to have you. What you went through was very traumatizing. It's okay to talk about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Trained and performed in ice rescue here. No, you should absolutely NOT have gone out. A hundred times no. You did the right thing, even if it doesn't feel like it. I'm sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I am still so sorry about your baby dog and I would do a lot to save my standard poodle or any other dog that is our family dog, but seriously risking my daughter's mom is not one of the things I would do. If you lived near by I'd let you baby sit mine some when you needed some dog therapy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 Unfortunately it is people I work for. A lady that is training me. Then there are the wonderful stories of people that went in a pond or river to save their drowning pet. Ugh. There are many horrible stories of people who drown trying to save their pet. You did the right thing, and it is likely the hardest thing you will ever have to do (I sincerely hope!) People can just be stupid and insensitive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 :grouphug: I'm very sorry for your loss, and the fact that people are making stupid comments. I think some people, besides being ill-mannered, watch too many feel-good movies and television episodes and think that real life works that way too. But in real life there are no guarantees that everyone will walk home safe and sound and cuddly after heroics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I want to add my support - I'm very sorry for your loss, and what Rowan went through, and what you went through and are still suffering from. It's all awful. I do not believe you could have created a better outcome by putting yourself 50 ft into a frozen lake, or that it would have been a good risk/benefit decision to try it.....and doing this may have created an even bigger tragedy. You made a really hard judgement call, and it's been a traumatic experience for you. These people who are suggesting you should have done something different and placed yourself in life-threatening danger are tactless and cruel. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I'm sorry that you're stuck in a situation where you have to put up with someone who is that heartless and barbaric. Will you have to deal with this person again once you're finished training? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineP Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 People are stupid and this just verifies that. I am sorry. You did the right thing. We live with a huge pond/lake in front of our house. This scenario has run through my mind both before and after your experience. It would tear me up inside to not do anything, but there is nothing that I could do without risking my life. I am sorry you are grieving your dog in addition to having to question whether you did the right thing or not. There is no doubt that you made the right choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 I am so sorry, puddles! Put a mental wall up when people start spewing their garbage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 You know what? I'm such an idiot that I would have gone out on the frozen lake after my dog. And we would have both drowned after I fell through the ice. And my family would have been left without me. It would have been complete and utter idiocy to have gone out onto that ice. You did the right thing, and thank goodness you were sensible enough to think before you reacted, or you probably wouldn't be here right now -- nor would anyone else who tried to go out and save you after you fell through the ice. The people who are criticizing you aren't just heartless; they are also stupid and lacking in any kind of common sense. If Rowan's weight was enough to break the ice, yours would have done the same. I am so sorry about Rowan, but there was truly nothing you could have done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 :hugs: I had a similar experience. I was at the end of a dock surrounded by lily pads with my two very small children, and german shepherd. I had the same thoughts go through my head after she jumped from the dock. the water wasn't that deep, but lily pads are notorious for tangling with limbs and it wasn't long after a report of someone drowning because they were entangled in them. if I'd gone in the water (it wasn't that deep), my girls probably would have followed me. so, I figured I was going to watch the dog drown. she eventually popped back up. boy did she hate water forever after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You did the right thing. When I first read what happened, I was so proud of you for not going after him. I can only imagine how difficult it was to do the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Those people are morons. I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 No, he wasn't just a dog. He was family. And if you had gone out, you wouldn't be here with us. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs_JWM Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss, and you did the right thing. Big hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I'm truly shocked that more than one person could 1) think such a stupid thing and 2) say it out loud. Unreal. I hope you told those stupid people off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You did nothing wrong. I love my dogs almost as much as my kids, and I would not have jumped in to save them in the situation you were in. I hate when people tell you what you "should have done." There is no way to go back, so why make people feel worse than they already do? Hugs to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 You did the right thing by not going after him. You could not have saved Rowan. The people who are saying otherwise are jerks. I have thought of you often since this happened, and I've been praying for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Anyone, and I do mean ANYONE who says that to you needs to be knocked in the head with a clue-by-four! I cannot imagine the horror of watching that, and to have some silly old goat bleating that nonsense at you must break your heart in two! And no, he wasn't just a dog. He was part of your family, part of your life. I am so very sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Respond with something like: "I am sorry but talking about it makes me so upset. We will have to change the subject." Read your original thread and cannot imagine the pain and horror of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Many Good Samaritans have died, trying to help a human who was drowning, or in some other emergency situation. I totally agree. It always breaks my heart to read about some wonderful person who rushes in and saves a drowning person or a person caught in a fire, etc only to lose his/her own life on the end. They always seem to leave behind their own broken-hearted family with spouse and children who miss them. My goodness, could you imagine the grief your children would be experiencing if you had tried to save Rowan and ended up losing YOUR life. A lost pet is traumatic. A lost parent - unimaginable. So sorry for what you have to go through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 Anyone, and I do mean ANYONE who says that to you needs to be knocked in the head with a clue-by-four! I cannot imagine the horror of watching that, and to have some silly old goat bleating that nonsense at you must break your heart in two! And no, he wasn't just a dog. He was part of your family, part of your life. I am so very sorry! :grouphug: Thanks I know Rowan was not just a dog. I am quoting what people said. I just noticed that I did not put that in quotation marks. I know each dog has his own uniqueness. Rowan's was he would play hide and seek with Daisy. (my moms standard.) he would be running and playing with her. Then he would run away and crouch behind a tree. When she would run past. He would run out and "attack" her. He did it so often I know it was not a coincidence. Another thing that would make me laugh is he knew he had to sit for a treat or to get his leash on for a walk. If he saw me eating something he would sit without me telling him to. If I did not give him anything he would stay sitting and bark. Kinda like " hey don't you see I'm sitting?" If I left the room without giving him what I was eating he would run after me, jump in my path and sit. Then if I still did not give him anything he would stay sitting, bark ,then he'd start pawing at me all the while he'd stay sitting. I'm not sure he ever got off without a treat. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Yuck. What a heartless (and stupid) thing to say. You made the right choice. I'm so sorry for your loss, and now having to put up with that garbage. Can you distance yourself from these people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thanks I know Rowan was not just a dog. I am quoting what people said. I just noticed that I did not put that in quotation marks. I know each dog has his own uniqueness. Rowan's was he would play hide and seek with Daisy. (my moms standard.) he would be running and playing with her. Then he would run away and crouch behind a tree. When she would run past. He would run out and "attack" her. He did it so often I know it was not a coincidence. Another thing that would make me laugh is he knew he had to sit for a treat or to get his leash on for a walk. If he saw me eating something he would sit without me telling him to. If I did not give him anything he would stay sitting and bark. Kinda like " hey don't you see I'm sitting?" If I left the room without giving him what I was eating he would run after me, jump in my path and sit. Then if I still did not give him anything he would stay sitting, bark ,then he'd start pawing at me all the while he'd stay sitting. I'm not sure he ever got off without a treat. :) Fun story! He had a good life with you. Hugging our little spunky pup a little tighter tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thanks I know Rowan was not just a dog. I am quoting what people said. I just noticed that I did not put that in quotation marks. I know each dog has his own uniqueness. Rowan's was he would play hide and seek with Daisy. (my moms standard.) he would be running and playing with her. Then he would run away and crouch behind a tree. When she would run past. He would run out and "attack" her. He did it so often I know it was not a coincidence. Another thing that would make me laugh is he knew he had to sit for a treat or to get his leash on for a walk. If he saw me eating something he would sit without me telling him to. If I did not give him anything he would stay sitting and bark. Kinda like " hey don't you see I'm sitting?" If I left the room without giving him what I was eating he would run after me, jump in my path and sit. Then if I still did not give him anything he would stay sitting, bark ,then he'd start pawing at me all the while he'd stay sitting. I'm not sure he ever got off without a treat. :) He sounds so sweet. We thought about a spoo but ended up getting a miniature schnauzer instead. Now you make me sad for what we missed. :) Do you have some kind of art or a collage or something to commemorate him? Maybe that would be a good way to focus your energy? I'm sorry people are being heartless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 How despicable. And if he's "just a dog" as these people claim, why on earth do they think you should have put yourself in danger to save him? Or are these different idiots smacking you from both ends of the opinion line?!? Try to shut them out. You were Rowan's mom for the short time he was able to be with you, and nothing changes that. I'm with Cat, I probably would have been dumb enough to try to help my dog and you'd all be reading about me in the paper. You kept your head and did the right thing, and that's admirable. Please don't second guess yourself. And please come tell Rowan stories anytime you like, if it helps. As a fellow Standard Poodle Mom, I know the love you feel and can only imagine the heartache you face. It was hard enough to lose our previous dogs peacefully at the end of long lives, and I'm still so sorry you and he went through that. But he will be with you forever in spirit and in your heart. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thanks I know Rowan was not just a dog. I am quoting what people said. I just noticed that I did not put that in quotation marks. I know each dog has his own uniqueness. Rowan's was he would play hide and seek with Daisy. (my moms standard.) he would be running and playing with her. Then he would run away and crouch behind a tree. When she would run past. He would run out and "attack" her. He did it so often I know it was not a coincidence. Another thing that would make me laugh is he knew he had to sit for a treat or to get his leash on for a walk. If he saw me eating something he would sit without me telling him to. If I did not give him anything he would stay sitting and bark. Kinda like " hey don't you see I'm sitting?" If I left the room without giving him what I was eating he would run after me, jump in my path and sit. Then if I still did not give him anything he would stay sitting, bark ,then he'd start pawing at me all the while he'd stay sitting. I'm not sure he ever got off without a treat. :) Lovely memories! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 I am so sorry. Comments such as that are cruel and insensitive. I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 Tell her to go jump in a lake! Sorry that you are having to deal with stupidity on top of grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 There's absolutely no reason you should have gone out onto that ice. Period. I thought it was common knowledge that if someone or something falls through you don't attempt a rescue. I'm so sorry people are being insensitive. :grouphug: Animals have such special places in our hearts, it's devastating when they're gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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