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About linders

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee
  • Birthday 10/21/1960

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  • Biography
    DS 18, DS 16
  • Location
    South Carolina
  • Interests
    Reading, hiking, camping, Scout leadership
  • Occupation
    Mom, substitute teacher, historical researcher/docent, former environmental engineer

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  1. Well, if you are willing to consider one night, I would offer him that chance. If he turns it down, then it is on him. I personally think one night would be quite worth it, and a gracious compromise on your part.
  2. Very, very gently. I'm I understanding your siggie correctly that the "baby" is almost 3? No judgement here on nursing and nighttime cuddles. However....maybe at this point, DH is feeling the loss of bonding time with you. You mentioned he works a lot. That relationship is important, too. Yes, he should have asked, but...could you possibly consider a one-night thing? Has your mom previously spend time with the little one? If you feel that your mom is a good cuddly grandma, she can handle the one night. And it might actually be good for the little one - I really don't think one night will traumatize. And ultimately, it would likely be good for you, too.
  3. Well, a month is a lifetime to a 16 year old. Plus no friends as passengers until he is 17. (You might think that would be hard to monitor - not in our small town where I talk to the moms of his friends all the time, and they have already heard about this rule.) And saying "no driving until he is 18" (when he heads to college) doesn't really provide the structured teaching environment I'm looking for - kind of like having those bumpers up when you learn to bowl. He might not like the monitoring, but the alternative - no driving - will be incentive. Yup. And we are looking at Life360, but also the more expensive options. The cost is small for the benefit for us. Already has an app for "no touch while driving." Honestly, even when he isn't in a car, I think he uses Siri voice control more than actually holding the phone. S16 and I had an interesting discussion this morning. DH offered to have him take the course at the BMW Performance Driving School in our state ("learn to drive on the edge of physics"). S16 is not at all interested. In his words, he doesn't want to do weird stuff with a car, he just wants to get from point A to point B as efficiently as possible. Hence some speed issues. So some time off for bad behavior, then monitoring to ensure greater attention to speed limits. Also, I saw the AD at the game last night and he clarified. He figured S was going perhaps 15-20 mph, and not anywhere near where people were, but at the far side of student parking near the exit. The posted speed limit in the student lot is 5 mph. Not quite what I pictured when he said "tore out of there."
  4. Not his car, an old family car, already pays for insurance. And that doesn't really solve the issue - just because a kid pays for everything doesn't mean he will drive safely. I need to enforce driving safely. With the knowledge that his speed, acceleration are being monitored (we fully intend to inform him) and that further use is on the line, he will be closer to that. Kind of like all those people on the highway who drop from 85 mph to 75 mph when they see the highway patrol nearby 🙂
  5. I need a recommendation for a teen driving monitor. I never wanted to get to this point. Never had to with DS19 - from my own observations and all second hand accounts, he was a reasonably safe driver. And then there is DS16. He is our adventure boy, no cliff too high, no challenge too great. I have had a couple of random observations when I happened to follow him - a bit fast, incomplete stops. I heard rumors from friends of friends, but no one would say anything directly. He himself claims to drive safely, yet often says some of the speed limits are "stupid." We have talked often about safe driving and driving as a privilege. But we were just contacted by the Athletic Director regarding his speed "tearing out of" the student parking lot today, something affirmed by the students - "dirt and rocks were flying." A woman nearby walking two elementary school kids yelled at him. Needless to say, driving privileges are revoked for the near future. But looking down the road, I'm afraid we will have to reintroduce driving with monitoring. He has lost our trust, and he is very good at agreeing to limits ahead of time, then going beyond in the moment. He will object to a monitor, but it will be a condition of driving again. I want him to be able to drive and develop a stronger sense of appropriate driving before he heads to college. Experience?
  6. Not weird. We happen to live in a small, aging neighborhood - not designed such, but people bought years ago and their kids are grown and gone. For the first 7 years we lived here, there was only one kid besides my own out of the 21 houses. My DSs friends lived elsewhere, found through scouts, sports, school. The biggest "issue" was that our nearest neighbors have early bedtimes and don't appreciate 4th of July fireworks after dark. In the past 3 years, a couple of residents have passed on and the homes have been bought by very young families - think babies and toddlers. Still no peers for my kiddos. P.S. The lack of competition has been a boon to DS16's pet sitting business:)
  7. I wouldn't presume this. My mom bought a home in Sun City, AZ, same rules. She bought there because there were many duplexes (she feels safer with a neighbor "across the wall"), there are lots of senior-oriented activities (rec centers,clubs), the streets are wide and drivable with low speed limits for the older crowd, etc. Other neighborhoods in the Phoenix area didn't have these things. The one thing she doesn't like - no kids. She misses seeing kids playing outside or coming to the door to sell stuff.
  8. Aww, I used to live in the TC!! I remember playing "dodge 'em tumbleweeds" on the way out to the site.
  9. DS16, private school, breakwork for AP Chem and Calc, reading assignments for AP Lit, and "follow the campaigns and take notes" for AP Gov. He is beyond annoyed that DS19 in college has a 4-week break and no work at all.
  10. We've had great success w AirBnB, but we have always rented a whole house/apartment, so we haven't had the issues you are having.
  11. Haven't done ribbons for years. Why? No one in my family cares about pretty wrapping.
  12. This is what we have always done (the sides are almost superfluous). But this year we leave the next morning for a week so couldn't use leftovers immediately (and freezing good rib roast slices just seems wrong.) So DH said he would grill steak...
  13. Any shirt from DS16 sent me a text, "Can you get this shirt for me?" The logo was Birds Aren't Real. "Huh?" says I. Turns out it is an "organization" that is a parody on the Flat Earth Society, the No One Landed On the Moon Society, etc. Go to the link, read the history. Bottom line, there are no real birds left, they are all artificial surveillance drones courtesy of the government. It's hilarious.
  14. For perspective, I live in South Carolina... "Look!! There's a snowflake!!!! OMG, quick, get to the store and stock up on supplies! Does anyone know where we put the hats/coats/mittens from the last storm? Do we have a snow shovel??? Wait, where did the flake go?" Schools of course are already closed in anticipation of that flake. P.S. And for those who say, "Hey, it's understandable, SC isn't prepared for snow." In the 10 years we have lived here, the schools have closed several times because of a dusting that melted within a couple hours. It's weird.
  15. I think the people who find it insulting perhaps don't understand what the Peloton bike is - I have friends who exercise at home (can't find the time or money to go to spin classes) who would be thrilled with the bike and it's expensive program. Maybe the actress's fear thing is a bit silly and overplayed - if you can't keep up with the online class, you can just turn it off. It isn't like an in-person class where the peer pressure is right beside you. But maybe that is the point of the commercial - trying to convince the watcher that with the Peloton, you will feel like you are right there in a class. Again, I know people who go to various exercise classes, rather than workout at home, who say that in-person is the only way they stay motivated. The uproar seemed like an over-reaction, reading too much into the ad.
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