Talk to me about surprise / oops babies...

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Yeah.  Big 'ol +++++ on the test, and we were definitely not trying (though we were mutually careless last month, obviously)

 

I'm very excited.  I was very happy with three, but another doesn't bother me a bit. 

 

Dear husband, on the other hand... is freaking out.  Like having a stress breakdown. 

 

Have you gone through this?  I may delete later for privacy reasons, so please don't quote.

 

[Caitilin]

I have six of those. Whatcha wanna know? ;)

[Ellie]

Congratulations!!!

 

:party:

 

I have nothing important to say, other than the fact that if there are *four* dc, all of them have to share a parent. :laugh:

[Jenn121]

I am 19 weeks with our "oops". It is baby #3. My hubby had a bit of a hard time at first. We did not talk about it much but as my ever expanding belly is marching forward he has calmed down.  I did not freak out or get upset at him for being upset and I think that helped him.

 

Congratulations  :laugh:

[Karen in CO]

All three of mine were surprises.  After a bit of denial and panic, I always came back to the simple fact that babies are always welcome in my home.   Congratulations.

[wintermom]

Nice surprise! Every pregnancy is different, so this one is just more different in the start. :hurray:   All the best with the precious bun in the oven.

[ashfern]

:hurray:  Congratulations! My surprise baby was just born. The only negative thing that DH said was that he would be over 60 when the baby turns 18. :huh:

[Stratford]

Congratulations!  My "oops" is 8 months old and once we got over the initial freak-out, it's been fine.  Better than fine, actually, we're kind of thrilled he's here.   :001_smile:  

[ErinE]

Congratulations!

[ktgrok]

Two of my 3 were oops babies. First was on birth control pills, not married, thinking about breakign up with the father, rushed marriage...yeah. I sobbed. But it worked out fine. Third baby was also an oops, I thought i'd get an ulcer waiting for dh to come home so I could tell him...I knew he'd be upset. But, as time went on he was more excited about this one than the one before! No idea why, but he went from freaking out to really excited by the time baby came. 

[twoxcell]

Congrats!  :party:  Number 4 was our oops and I can't imagine our family without him. My dh was a tiny bit shocked at first but he got over it quick. :)

[Scarlett]

Awww. Congrats. I only have one child and it took me a long time to get pregnant....so I have no experience with oops. :). But I love babies.

[Cinder]

Yep--she'll be 9 next month. At first I was very depressed; dh was the excited one. But after a few months I was excited too.

 

Congrats to your family!

[momto10blessings]

Congrats!

 

Tell hubby he participated too. He'll come around eventually

[jar7709]

Our surprise wasn't unwelcome, we thought we'd have a #2, just not....yet.  At the time, we were living at my parents' house, baby #1 was very demanding, my career underwent a transition as I switched employers, and we were trying to build a new house of our own.   It was a very stressful period but in hindsight, that time was formative toward my figuring out how to work from home while managing a ton of varying needs, and my expanding belly really put the heat on the home builders!  We moved into our current/forever home a week and a half before she was born.  :D

 

Congratulations!

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

OH my goodness, thank you all for the loving support.  :-)

 

What I really needed to hear was that DH would eventually get through it and be excited.  :-) 

 

Thank you all so much!  I'm trying to keep all my inner dance party to myself to not freak DH out even further. 

[bettyandbob]

I'm partial to oops babies, because I know I was one. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Congratulations!  

[Twigs]

:hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray:

[MysteryJen]

I have had two oops babies. Both times after the initial freakout, dh was really happy.  ds2 is the weird that makes our family fun and ds3, well, we just can't imagine life without him.

 

He was gone all day at a friend's house yesterday and we all felt the house was eerily quiet.

 

Dh will occasionally still freak about the number (especially when looking at colleges), but really can't do anything about it now!

[kroe1]

We tell both of the oops babies that while they may have not been planned, they were conceived in love.

 

Congratulations!

[MicheleinMN]

Dh freaked out on number 4 here too, but he got over it.  We have 6 together.  Why #4 caused him such stress, I'm really not sure.

 

Congratulations!

[trinchick]

Congratulations!  DS was a surprise. I remember poor DH crying in bed one night and apologizing because he had ruined all of our plans for the future (like I wasn't a part of the ooops?).

 

Anyhow, DH is absolutely smitten with our little boy. It has all worked out so much better than we ever could have hoped or planned for ourselves.

 

Many blessings to your family!

[Alicia64]

Awesome! Jealous! Awesome! (He'll adjust and one day wonder how he could live without this bump!)

 

Alley

[sassenach]

3/4 of mine were oops babies. My experience watching many friends walk through this is that some freaking out in the beginning (or even throughout the pregnancy) has basically no bearing on the joy and adoration when the child arrives.

 

He'll be ok. Let him freak out for awhile.

[Truscifi]

Our surprise is 14mo now. We were both pretty freaked out at first, and dh took a little longer to come around than I did, but he got there eventually. He ended up being excited because he got to be there for a lot of things he missed the first time around.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Oh, I'm feeling better!  I think my only freaky thought is that we'll now be "That Family", you know the HUGE family in the neighborhood.  Where we live, I already get weekly comments from strangers on 3 kids.  Now four!!! 

[Tangerine]

I was an oops baby.  The last of 5.  I was, and continue to be, an unmitigated blessing to all members of my family. ;)

[swellmomma]

My first 2 were surprised for sure, the first because I was young and not really with the father.  The second because I did not know you could get pg so quickly after giving birth.  Both of those 2 shocked us both, with oldest I remained shocked for a while but did get excited, and he never really got excited but at least stopped freaking out.  second one, once the initial shock wore off I was excited.  He didn't get excited until we found out we were havinga  girl and then would have 1 of each.  the 3rd and 4th were very much planned so yeah no shock there. But I can't say I was less excited about the first 2 than the last 2.  I just had to work through the shock first.  I am sure that will prove to be true for your dh too.  Keep in mind for him the shock includes the worry about providing for 1 more.  As well having a 4th child change your vehicle needs and other big expenses that may be running through his brain right now.  That will eventually calm down but it does take a bit of time to come around to seeing things will be just fine kwim

[Alenee]

Our third was a surprise and dh was not happy about it until she was about 6 months old.  It was hard on me dealing with his disappointment but we got through it and we couldn't imagine our lives without her.  :D

[8circles]

I cried for months when I found out I was expecting #4.  There is no shame in that, IMO.  I felt how I felt, even though we weren't DONE yet in our minds, anyway.  I felt overwhelmed already & couldn't imagine adding another.

 

DH let me feel how I felt, I let him feel how he felt & he shared his concerns with me as well as his excitement.  I got over it.  DS4 is now 3 and a pure joy.  Can't imagine life without him.

 

Congratulations!

[mommymilkies]

None of mine were "planned".  That doesn't make them lesser than the planned ones.  It's all about perspective. 

[plansrme]

Family planning not my strong suite, either--I am 0 for 2 in that department (the middle was adopted; even I can't adopt accidentally).  The youngest is 10  now, and when we found out I was pregnant, we figured, if we were going to have another baby, please at least let it at least be another girl.  We had two girls already; we know girls; we love girls.  Well he is 100% boy, and I apologize regularly to him for ever wishing for a girl.  I call him and my husband Chip and Block, because he is a chip off of, well, you know.  Thank goodness they have each other is all I can say.  We can not imagine life without him.  (I know everyone says that.)

 

It took me longer to get used to the idea than it did my husband, which I knew because once I told him I was pregnant, literally not a minute later, I noted, matter of factly, "Well, I could have a miscarriage; 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage," (NO, not in a hopeful way, just as a statement of fact!), and he immediately reached over, touched my belly and said, "Don't even SAY that!"  

 

Anyway, your husband will come around; all decent men do.  

[gardenmom5]

:hurray:  Congratulations! My surprise baby was just born. The only negative thing that DH said was that he would be over 60 when the baby turns 18. :huh:

dh will be well over 70 when dudeling is 18 . . . just sayin'  dh think's its hysterical to be mistaken for the grandfather and be able to correct them that he's the dad.

 

OP congratulations.  give your dh time to get used to the idea.  I'm sure he'll be happy by the time the baby is born.  I was an oopsie, and apparently my dad wasn't too thrilled. (I know my mom wasn't), but I adored him and it's kinda hard for a parent to resist that.  My mom was eventually very grateful she had me.

[lavender's green]

My oops baby is 2.5 months old now!  One day I felt mildly nauseas, and decided to take a pregnancy test, figuring that it would be negative and DH would see the wrapper in the trash can and tease me for being a worrywart.  But it was positive!  I was totally shocked and when I walked out of the bathroom he saw my face and said "what's the matter with you?!"  I showed him the test and started doing this weird hysterical laugh.  Once I calmed down I asked him if he would be okay.  He said "I will be...soon..."  And he was. 

 

Congratulations!

[AlmiraGulch]

My first was completely unplanned.  I freaked.  DH was thrilled immediately.

 

I came around, but it took a long time.  I didn't show with #1 until I was nearly 6 months along, but the minute my belly showed I was excited and over the moon happy.  That kid is now 17.  

 

It'll be ok!  Congratulations!!

[LinRTX]

Well I can't say my 4th was an oops, but she was definitely a surprise! I had a hard time getting pregnant with the others and had also lost a couple. I thought we were done (I was getting old), but no, I find I am expecting #4 7 years after #3.

 

The funny story about this is I had been in my first ever accident and the car had been totaled. It was the other guys fault and dealing with the insurance company was so stressful. I told my husband I would test just to re-assure ourselves, but it was just stress or menopause. 

 

I came home from a busy out-of-house class day with the three we had, took the test, called my husband, and cancelled all plans for the evening. I was in shock.

 

And after 3 pregnancies that put me in the hospital, hers was a breeze.

 

She is still my easiest child 13 years later.

 

Linda

[MomatHWTK]

 Four years' difference between the youngest and the next youngest.  :) Took me about 9 months to get over the shock but he is the apple of everyone's eye. 

[Hypatia.]

Congrats!  We have 3 surprise bonus babies, some with preventing and one due to, ahhh, user error (or too much merlot).  With numbers 4 and 5 it did take a while for DH to come around, it especially seemed to take longer for him to pull his head out of his rear with #5.  He did come around though, after the initial shock wore off.

[musicianmom]

Well, my dh was fine with the surprise baby, I was the one freaking out. And poor dd5 has never gotten over it, though she loves her "twin."

[Melissa in Australia]

Congratulations.

I have had my share of surprises. DH was always excited. I was the one that would get down about it.

 My mother told me that the reason God made a pregnancy 9 months long is to give the parents time to get over the shock and get excited over the baby..

[Julie Smith]

I have a story about a surprise baby.

 

My cousin went to see her doctor about losing weight. Turns out she was very pregnant - and had her baby a month later. 

[boyzrus]

We had a 17 yo when our surprise baby came old. DH will be 68 when our now 15 year old graduates from high school. There was some stress for my DH about retirement (or lack of) when he first got the news of the baby but he quickly recovered and neither of us can imagine life without the boy!

Congrats and enjoy!

[Mandylubug]

I have two oops babies and twin jealousy babies LOL Congrats!

[fairfarmhand]

I was the freaker outer.

 

I got over it.

 

We're glad things happened the way that they did. Now, at least I am. It took a few months for me to be okay.

[katilac]

Is he the single or primary bread winner? I think it's natural enough for the person in that position to stress out a whole lot more. It's a lot of pressure. 

 

 

[Kerileanne99]

Mine was a complete and utter shock, and the the timing sure wasn't planned!

We had given up, assumed we weren't going to have any of our own biological children after more than a few years of trying/testing by all sorts of fertility experts.

Amusingly enough, I had undergone X-rays and an MRI on my back and hips over a month prior to discovering I was pregnant. The doctor (knowing/believing I was infertile!) noted a 'cyst on my ovary and a fibroid in my uterus', and recommended I follow up.

The cyst was the corpus luteum, and my 'fibroid' turns four next month:)

[Ottakee]

Friends in college were the "oops" babies in their family..............they had a brother 10 months older than them and they were identical TRIPLETS. That poop mom had 4 under 1 year old in the days before disposable diapers.

[Guest]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Your dh's reaction is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. He'll be okay by the time the baby is old enough to interact with him. I wish I'd known that when dd1 made her appearance and turned my world upside down--for all I know I could have wound up married to her dad with a 30th anniversary coming up in the not too distant future if I had.

 

Anyway, a miracle is still a miracle even if it wasn't what you were expecting and life is what happens to you while you're making other plans. My almost 26 year old is the best thing that ever happened to me. She wouldn't be here if some ignorant doctor hadn't told me that I couldn't have kids.

[katilac]

Friends in college were the "oops" babies in their family..............they had a brother 10 months older than them and they were identical TRIPLETS. That poop mom had 4 under 1 year old in the days before disposable diapers.

 

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