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Update on DH :(


funschooler5
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I am so very sorry. How hard to be so young, losing your soulmate and your children's father.

 

Do see what hospice can offer. I agree with the person who suggested that you should have 24/7 care for him if you bring him home because it will be too much to do his care alone- even with a few hospice visits/week. If he is already groggy and unable to get out of bed, perhaps he is already a candidate for inpatient hospice. The best option on inpatient would be a non-profit facility that is dedicated to hospice care. My mom was at one last fall. The large private room that allowed two people to spend the night and 5 of us to spend the entire day just hanging out as well as the living/dining areas that allowed us a change of scenery were just so wonderful. She had been in the hospital and then a nursing home prior to her admission to the hospice facility. The nursing home was very well-run and she could have had hospice care there but her semi-private room would not have allowed any privacy for us as we helped her transition out of this life.

 

A major help that hospice can offer is trained bereavement counselors who can help you walk you and your children through this difficult time.

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He is still in the hospital, and we just found out today that there is no way he'll get on the transplant list. He is overweight, his platelet count is way too low and he's too weak to survive the surgery. When he was admitted, he was walking with the help of a walker. Now he can't even stand up.

 

Even though I could see this coming, I'm still stunned. DH talked to the doctor and decided that he did not want to be recessitated if it comes down to that. We're going to try to bring him home and get in contact with hospice. Right now his care at the hospital is limited to what makes him comfortable.

 

I'm staying here tonight (I've been driving home at night (an hour away) to stay with the kids and then coming back during the days. My parents and DH's mom are going to be here with me tomorrow. My parents are bringing the kids...I don't know how I'm going to tell them. I sat down with them a couple of weeks ago to explain that we were hoping he'd get a transplant but he might not, and he could die. Of course they were upset, and they cried. I just don't know what to say to them.

 

DH.....his name is Luke. We all love him so much. He's not in a lot of pain right now which I'm very thankful for. His kidneys are failing, which the doctor says will make him very sleepy. He's been sleeping a lot the past few days. He hasn't been that confused yet, just very groggy when he's awake. We don't know how much time he has but the GI thinks it's weeks, not months.

 

I just don't know how I'm going to live without him. We've been together 17 years, but it doesn't seem long enough (he's only 39, I'm 38). Everything will remind me of him. I don't see how I can go on. I will keep going for the kids of course, but I just can't imagine my life without him.

 

I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you and the kids. I really have no words, just sympathy. I'm so, so sorry you have to go through this.

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