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Update on DH :(


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He is still in the hospital, and we just found out today that there is no way he'll get on the transplant list. He is overweight, his platelet count is way too low and he's too weak to survive the surgery. When he was admitted, he was walking with the help of a walker. Now he can't even stand up.


Even though I could see this coming, I'm still stunned. DH talked to the doctor and decided that he did not want to be recessitated if it comes down to that. We're going to try to bring him home and get in contact with hospice. Right now his care at the hospital is limited to what makes him comfortable.


I'm staying here tonight (I've been driving home at night (an hour away) to stay with the kids and then coming back during the days. My parents and DH's mom are going to be here with me tomorrow. My parents are bringing the kids...I don't know how I'm going to tell them. I sat down with them a couple of weeks ago to explain that we were hoping he'd get a transplant but he might not, and he could die. Of course they were upset, and they cried. I just don't know what to say to them.


DH.....his name is Luke. We all love him so much. He's not in a lot of pain right now which I'm very thankful for. His kidneys are failing, which the doctor says will make him very sleepy. He's been sleeping a lot the past few days. He hasn't been that confused yet, just very groggy when he's awake. We don't know how much time he has but the GI thinks it's weeks, not months.


I just don't know how I'm going to live without him. We've been together 17 years, but it doesn't seem long enough (he's only 39, I'm 38). Everything will remind me of him. I don't see how I can go on. I will keep going for the kids of course, but I just can't imagine my life without him.

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