My daughter is 14 and starting high school (homeschool) next year. She sings and plans to major in voice with a minor in either religion or history. (I realize that this may change, but she's always been a singer and I don't think it's going to change.) I hear horror stories from some of the other voice students ahead of her who have been defeated (some to the point of changing their major) by music theory. I've found Music Theory on both edX and Coursera but I'm not sure how to sign up. Do I register under my name or her name? I'm looking for an inexpensive way to introduce this subject to her (other than what is already covered in classes). Thank you!

My husband loves James Rollins and has suggested that our youngest daughter (who is 11 years old) might enjoy reading them. We are fairly open about what our kids are allowed to read. I haven't read any of his books. The last book he suggested for her was The Martian (from a different author) which she really enjoyed but laughingly told me that her vocabulary expanded for words she's not allowed to say. She enjoys reading and can handle fairly mature content. I would not want her reading explicit details about sex, although I'm okay with her knowing that sex has taken place. (She can read that they slept together and had a wonderful night, but I don't want the details exposed to her at this age.) Violence is okay unless it's heavily detailed. Would these books be okay for her? I read some of the amazon reviews but didn't see anything concerning. My husband can be a bit clueless at times. :) I want to double-check before I give the okay.

I posted a while back about my teen daughter needing lots of sleep. Some days she seemed to do well and other days she was exhausted all of the time. A little over a week ago, I finally figured it out. I waited a week to see if things improved and they have. The solution was one that I never would have guessed. We recently had several doctor visits. She has celiac disease so had a yearly visit to her gastro. She told the gastro that when she had celiac reactions, her stomach cramps were really bad, so the doctor prescribed a new medicine for her to take during reactions. (It wasn't a pain medicine but an anti-spasm medicine with a side effect of making her drowsy). She was also diagnosed with adhd and started taking (daily) medication. One pill is teal blue, the other is turquoise blue. Side by side, you cannot tell a difference. Our medicine cabinet is a regular kitchen cabinet. I keep her medication in a cluster in the middle so she can find it easily. When she would sleepily walk to the cabinet to take her morning meds, she simply grabbed a bottle and took the blue pill. I watched her take her stomach medicine one day and asked if she felt all right and she said she did. Later that day, it occurred to me that she might be mixing them up. I took her adhd meds down and counted them. She should have had ten missing from the bottle but only four were gone. Since her stomach medicine is only for reactions (which are rare), I put that bottle on a separate shelf (after showing her how alike the two were). I'm still allowing her off-time in the afternoons for a nap but she hasn't needed it last week. I'm so glad to have figured this out and it's also taught me to take a critical look at medications to make sure that I don't have similar appearance ones clustered together.

She started taking them when she was 13 years old. Her oral surgeon suggested it based on how upset she became. Others in my family take them as well. It's not uncommon and they only prescribe one or two at a time.

My middle daughter has a very complicated mouth. She had seven (or maybe eight?) baby teeth pulled and either two (or four, sorry can't remember!) permanent teeth pulled. She has a very small mouth and the teeth were truly over-lapping each other. I didn't think baby teeth had roots? (thinking about your comment about her being in pain). Also, if she's in tremendous pain, they will prescribe pain medication. She had eight of them done in one appointment. I did freak out but the dentist, ortho and oral surgeon were all in agreement that it was common so I calmed down. My daughter is still in braces, but her mouth looks so much better and feels better. She has always had dentist anxiety, and they now prescribe her one anxiety pill before any prolonged treatments (cavities and so on) to help with her anxiety. If you're not anti-meds, it might be something to look into.

I listened. :) I was going to suggest a one hour nap but decided to extend it to 2 in case she needed the 1.5 hour one.

Oh yes, she can absolutely shower at night. Her preference is to shower in the mornings. On Mondays, we don't have any trouble waking her up. She's usually too excited about going to the co-op as her best friend goes there as well. I'm hopeful the nap will help eliminate problems. :)

Sorry for not replying sooner. I'm parked on the couch myself sleeping off a sinus infection. :) I'll try to adjust my profile, but if you read it, adjust everyone up a year in ages and grades. Yes, she is home-schooled. We have a co-op on Mondays and need to leave the house at 7:30. (Incidentally, on co-op days, she is up at 5:30 in order to shower before others are awake). On Wednesdays, she has a volunteer project that starts at 8:00 that she can't change up - she's scheduled into it and it's one that she initiated and designed teaching senior citizens how to use computers. On Thursdays, she has an online class that starts at 8:00. Our oldest is in public school and needs to leave the house by 7:10 (we drive her and meet her para professional at 7:20 at the school). I get up at 6:00 and bathe her and get her ready for the day (this is a lot more complicated than it sounds). We have both goats and chickens. DH gets up around 5:00 and finishes morning chores around 6:20. Our other two girls (including the one with the sleep problem) wake up at 6:00 and start breakfast, which is usually ready around 6:40. We try to have a large breakfast as DH definitely wants more than just cereal when he comes in. Also, this particular daughter has celiac disease and our youngest is a very picky eater so it can be complicated. Typically they cook hash browns, bacon/sausage, eggs and there is some type of gf muffin or bread available. DH helps them cook when he comes in after he cleans up. After breakfast, they clean the kitchen and then have free-time until 8:00 when they start school or other activities. I did talk to her psychiatrist about sleep last time we were there and he stated that routines (particularly for those with ADHD) were important and he wouldn't stop the morning routine. For all of those reasons, the wake up time really isn't flexible. However, I do think an afternoon nap is do-able and I should probably make that into a routine. She can nap from 1 - 3 in the afternoon. We do let her sleep in on the week-ends, but not past 9:00, otherwise she has trouble falling asleep that evening.

I would agree but the sleep problems have been since January and the meds in the past month. :)

I should have mentioned that I absolutely, positively believe in the power of sleep and the necessity of it. :) I've frequently stated that I could do just about anything during the day as long as I have a good night's sleep. I don't begrudge her sleep, but I'm worried that nine hours doesn't seem to be enough. In fact, 9 hours seems to be grossly insufficient. Yes, she falls asleep easily by or at 9:00. We've been watching the sleep issue since January and have tried numerous things. (She had a later bedtime that we moved up to 9:00). We make sure the room is dark, no electronics, no texting after she goes to bed, no caffeine or sugar before bedtime and so on. We have a wind-down time that begins around 8:30 when possible with lights out at 9:00. I've started checking on her at night to make sure she's still asleep (not snoring) and I don't hear her move around at night (I'm a light sleeper, I hear when the kids are up). She sleeps in on the week-ends and also naps (both during the week and on week-ends). She is awake after breakfast, but sometimes starts dragging after lunch. She takes Vitamin D due to low levels. She has her iron and everything else checked once a year (this year it was in August). Due to her Celiac Disease, she sees a gastro for a yearly checkup and they are hyper focused on her taking in enough nutrition (she is small for her age). I doubt an eating disorder and her diet is good (again due to her having CD). I suppose that depression is possible, but I'm surprised it hasn't come up with the psychiatrist (she has recently diagnosed ADHD and we're working through medicine). She is rarely sick so I doubt mono unless it could come up silently. I've also told her that she needs to do her waking up in her room and not the bathroom. (I also wonder if she doesn't want to tell me that she's having stomach problems as she knows the next step is an upper/lower gi).

Our 14 year old started needing lots more sleep earlier this year. (We noticed it in January). Previously, she would go to bed around 9 or 9:30 and get up at 6:00 (sometimes earlier). She would jog about half a mile and then come in and start breakfast and so on. Currently, she goes to bed at 9:00 and is absolutely exhausted at 6:00. Her solution to this is to go into the bathroom when she's called to wake up and stay there for about 15 minutes. When I asked if there was any stomach problems or anything, she told me that she was just tired and had trouble moving around. Sometimes she goes into the bathroom for fifteen minutes, comes out and works for five minutes and then goes back into the bathroom for another ten. DH has teased her, yelled at her, grounded her and so on, but nothing gets her out of the bathroom. If we tell her that someone else needs to use the bathroom, she still doesn't emerge for a few more minutes. She claims she is tired and not ill. (She has Celiac Disease so I am always observant if I see her in the bathroom frequently). Is this typical of teenagers? Her wake time and bedtime are not really negotiable. She has evening activities and sometimes isn't home until 8:00. Sometimes she goes to bed before 9:00, but not often. She needs to wake up at 6:00 due to our family's schedule and needs.

Thanks for the replies. I've been on the couch sick this week so have started looking around. It's a bit tricky trying to decide exactly what degree is needed. My mother has been urging me to consider being a school counselor. She retired a few years ago as a school counselor and said that it is hard for the system to find counselors. Currently, she does contract work for the school system helping out with counseling needs throughout the district. She plans to quit doing that in about two years.

Unfortunately, he is the one in charge of finances for the most part. I ask for a set amount each month to cover bills (which I pay) and then ask for more if it's needed for medical appointments or repair work and such. The problem comes when something comes along that he wants to do or feels like he needs to do. He is VERY good at computer stuff and teaches a class for high school drop outs once a week. He gets paid $35 an hour (for two hours weekly). However, he bought $10,000 worth of computers to teach the class. Yes, I would be happy as the breadwinner. I want to go into counseling but I'm not sure if my bachelor's degree is still valid or if I would need to re-take classes. I've thought about two year degrees, but none of them really appeals to me. Thanks!

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm thinking of counseling. I double-majored in sociology and psychology in college. There's a University fifteen minutes away that offers a Master's Degree in Counseling. The town I live in has zero counselors (other than school counselors) and we're in a state with horrible mental health services and long wait times for appointments. Something in that field is the only thing I think I could do well and still earn a decent living.

Dear Hive, I need some good, solid advice. I do not want marriage advice, I'm looking for something that will help ME. Please do not quote as I'm putting some personal information out that I'd rather delete later on. I'm about to turn 45 years old and we've been married for 18 years. We're still happily together and have no plans of changing our marital situation. We grew up in very different circumstances. I started raking yards when I was 12 years old and have worked full-time (and sometimes more than one job) until about 10 years ago. DH grew up an only child (and only grand-child) and was spoiled rotten. His mother was spoiled also. He started working after graduating from a 2 year college and has worked steadily (although sporadically with frequent job changes) until about two years ago. We have three children - our oldest is 15 years old and severely disabled. She needs help with bathing, dressing and so on. Our middle is 14 years old and hoping to go to a public boarding school specializing in science/math in about two years. She has Celiac Disease. Our youngest has had significant anxiety issues (that seem to be getting better) and she's 10 years old. Our oldest goes to public school but the other two are educated at home. Three years ago, DH's grandmother died and left a sizable trust to both DH and another trust to our girls. The money for the girls was meant to help with education expenses and also for long-term care for our oldest. I have been so grateful for that money. It enables us to have great extra-curriculars as well as much-needed help with our oldest. We use little of the trust money for the girls and so far, the interest is more than what we spend. DH's trust is another story. When he quit working, we relied on his trust completely for all expenses. I should add that DH has no comprehension of money matters. He's completely floundering at the moment. He agrees that he should get a job but limits himself by placing barriers in his way. He doesn't want one where he needs to travel or that doesn't pay a certain amount and so forth. He gardens and raises goats and chickens. He also helps around the house and recently has started helping with some of the trickier subjects (math/science). At the rate we're going, our money will be gone in about four more years. We have a great financial manager, but he can't work magic. He was the person managing the money for DH's grandmother before she passed and we've continued to use him. For many reasons, I've recently started thinking about going back to school. I have my bachelor's degree, but it's 20 years old. My grades were good. Also, I really want to get out of the house more than I currently do. I need outside interests. Although I'm happy in our marriage, I also feel like a financial hostage. The trust is in his name. I can't call and request a transfer because I'm not on the trust. I need to constantly ask for money. (I want to add that he always gives it to me and is very generous. I also ask for just cash for spending as I need it and he hasn't a problem with that either. I have a problem with being so dependent.) How hard is it to go back to school? I realize it's expensive, but we can afford it. I know it will take extra time, but frankly I think he would be so relieved that I have a plan that he wouldn't have a problem taking over many of our household chores and childcare routines completely. Is my bachelor's degree even good anymore? Will I have to re-do the degree? Also, I need to take the GRE. What is the test like? Thanks for listening and for the suggestions.

Maybe rice or tapioca pudding?

Thanks for the replies. Our county does not have animal control. If there are problems, people are typically advised to shoot the animal. (Most animal problems are due to strays and such). I wanted to clarify that I did not tell the girls to throw rocks and swat, that was my mom's advice. When I found out (which I did after dd was nipped), I told them not to do it. I also don't have time to discipline, train or adopt anything right now. I'll suggest the invisible fence a PP mentioned and see what they think. I wanted to re-emphasize that he has not shown aggression towards any of us and what I saw the other day was the first time I had witnessed that behavior. However, any attack by him would be horrific, mostly due to his size. We can't fence our area as we would have to get in and out of the car to open the fence as it would go across our driveway. That would basically negate the whole purpose of the fence since he would be right there if he's outside my mom's house. Any other suggestions, I am all ears. :)

Thanks for the replies. Our county does not have animal control. If there are problems, people are typically advised to shoot the animal. (Most animal problems are due to strays and such). I wanted to clarify that I did not tell the girls to throw rocks and swat, that was my mom's advice. When I found out (which I did after dd was nipped), I told them not to do it. I also don't have time to discipline, train or adopt anything right now. I'll suggest the invisible fence a PP mentioned and see what they think. I wanted to re-emphasize that he has not shown aggression towards any of us and what I saw the other day was the first time I had witnessed that behavior. However, any attack by him would be horrific, mostly due to his size. We can't fence our area as we would have to get in and out of the car to open the fence as it would go across our driveway. That would basically negate the whole purpose of the fence since he would be right there if he's outside my mom's house. Any other suggestions, I am all ears. :)

My mother and step-father live next door to us. We live in the country, so next door is several acres apart. We have a dog that is part border collie who was a stray. (We live on a road where animals frequently wander up). We don't have fences, so animals occasionally wander around and it's typically not a big deal. Our dog stays in our yard other than the occasional visit to neighbors, including my mother and step-dad. Same with other neighbor dogs, they may wander up for a dog treat and then they leave. Re-reading this, it sounds odd and a bit like doggy trick or treat, but I'm not sure how else to explain it. Mother and Step-Dad decided they wanted a dog. (They had previously had a dog that was part lab who died of old age). They decided to purchase a chocolate lab from a breeder. He was absolutely adorable as a puppy and we quickly grew fond of him. As he became older (and much larger), he was still friendly, but perhaps a bit more tiresome when he came to visit. The current situation is that he is 1 1/2 years old and frankly, too much for my mother/step-dad to handle. My step-dad prides himself on being able to train dogs. (We all think he's full of $hi+). This dog is very big and well over 100 pounds. They let him outside in the mornings and don't check on him unless we call and complain. We have goats and chickens and he runs at them (even though they are in fences, they still scatter). Occasionally, we have to take the goats out for moving them or grooming and he is all over them (again until we call my mother). He hangs around our house (probably because we have kids and other animals) all the time, digging in our trash and yard, and using the side yard as a 'restroom'. My mother and step-dad's solution was that we should shoo him away by swatting at him and throwing rocks. The girls tried to do this for one day, and he nipped at my daughter's hand. (I should add that my step-dad disciplines by swatting him hard - he says it must be hard to get his attention. We think it's too hard and even my husband is upset when he sees it). After the nipping incident, I told the girls no more swatting so we bought toys and treats and tried to simply exercise and play with him ourselves. Things settled down for several months and he quit coming over. Last week, our youngest daughter's voice teacher came over. She is an animal lover, young, sweet looking and acting - no threat at all to anyone. As she was walking up to our porch, mother's dog came running over from her yard and started barking and making small growling noises at her. It was a bark I hadn't heard before and it immediately brought me outside. She was trying to talk to him and make friends, but he didn't calm down until I came outside. He walked up the porch in front of her and stopped. The poor voice teacher was literally stuck between the dog and the side of the porch. I told her I would move mother's dog out of the way and she said, (accurately) "He's not moving unless he wants to move" and she was right. I finally had to coax him off with a dog biscuit so she could get into the house. I called my mother and told her about the incident because something about the behavior and bark really bothers me. Something about the way he was barking and acting was unusual. I was worried that he was about to attack the voice teacher if she had continued to try to get onto the porch without me there. Mother's suggestion was that we should let them know if we have visitors coming over, and I told her that wasn't a good solution since we have delivery people, unexpected visitors and I'm not always home. She said they would try to watch him better. I told her plainly that I worried he was becoming aggressive. They won't re-home this dog, I've already asked. We have no animal control in our county/city. Any ideas what this new behavior might be? And ideas on how to deal with it? I'd rather he not hang out at our house, but mother still insists that we can "shoo" him away. Other than the one-time nip (it didn't break the skin, it almost seemed to be a 'warning' to her) to one of our daughters, he has never been aggressive towards us in any way and is very loving. The girls are not scared of him at all. (Granted, having a dog that size nudge up against you will put us off our feet, but that's not his fault). What are the legal liabilities of her dog coming onto our land and biting someone? (We can't fence in our entire property because of shared driveways and it's just too big). She won't fence in a section for him because she says it's too expensive. He's too big for any of us to physically try to control. Any suggestions would be helpful.

She typed up about 16 pages of information including background and other recommendations, so it was thorough, just confusing. We talked for about two hours total. She was confused on some of it as well. She said that based on other tests and my comments, she thought the scores for reading would have been higher. She said that perhaps I didn't understand what most upcoming 5th graders are reading because we homeschool. (She didn't mean for that to sound as offensive as it did). Wherever possible, I've tried to merge the recommendations. Some of them are impossible to merge (such as the psychiatrist suggestion to push harder and the psychologist's recommendation to slow down). In those cases, I've tried to sort out what's most important. In our case, history is more enjoyable so we'll accelerate that one and slow down on science. If I see the time is working out, I can add to science later. I agree that the circumstances of our situation support that we might see a lot of variation so I'll just sort out where I can. :) I don't want to re-test any of it as I worry that would add to the anxiety of the situation. She should take the Explore test this year, so we'll see what that says.

Arcadia - She hasn't learned cursive yet but we are starting it this year. I had wondered similarly about if cursive would be easier. I just asked her to write something with both hands and that's a definite no. lol She enjoys building things, crafting and snap circuits type things (robots, levers/pulleys and so on). I don't suspect fine motor problems (in terms of physical problems) but writing is a problem for her. The psychologist and OT both ruled out dysgraphia. Her testing areas have been either at home or at Lindamood Bell. (They were aware of her issues and made sure it was a quiet day, lots of privacy, female tester, lots of reinforcement). The only other place was the psychologist office which was nice but not warm. :) It didn't bother me, but she said today that it was not as comfortable as Lindamood Bell. Mike - I did talk to the psychologist and she was concerned that my main worry was over a lower than expected iq. I wasn't able to convey that my worry about the test scores was that they didn't seem to line up with the other scores that she received previously last year. Also, that the advice she gave me (slow down and take more time) also did not line up with other test scores or my experiences with my daughter. I give the doctor a ton of credibility in that she knows what she's doing but it was like we were discussing different children. Our psychiatrist had also reviewed the first two testing reports (but hasn't had a chance to review the most recent one) and his advice was to challenge her with harder work because she was capable of much more and was working below her ability. (In contrast the psych report indicates that she should slow down and was at the expected level).

Thanks again for everyone's advice. These tests were done (in the order posted) within about a 9 month span. I took Arcadia's advice and asked another poster at the Davidson Boards for advice which has been incredibly helpful. Something that I didn't mention here, my daughter's trauma heavily influenced academics. We pulled her out of school in 1st grade. During 2nd she had a complete regression of skills in all areas. School didn't really start for her until 3rd grade and she just finished 4th. It was suggested that there will probably be a lot of fluctuation for another couple of years. I did talk to my daughter a bit about her test with the psychologist. She knew that the test was timed but felt it was better to be correct than fast. She also said that she didn't write things down because she likes doing things in her head. (She's a bit baffled as to why anyone would want to write things down). She dislikes writing and forms her letters from bottom to top, right to left. (Not even an OT could straighten it out). She said she wasn't nervous about the test but she wasn't comfortable. (She couldn't explain why not, just said that she wasn't). She starts cognitive behavior therapy this fall with a new therapist to address anxiety issues. Her anxiety is still fairly high.

I'm not sure if she realized it or not. We were trying to not cause anxiety, so the psychologist and I had both told her the test was to help me plan for next year's school year and wasn't really about her. Her only worry was that if she didn't do well then it might look bad on my teaching skills. We talked briefly about it afterwards and she said that she doesn't like writing things down. (She dislikes writing completely). The psychologist noted that she would stop and erase frequently, more than other kids her age. She appeared nervous on the spelling portion. She mis-spelled words like 'laugh' but was able to spell more complex words that gave more phonetic clues. (I know she knows how to spell laugh). Thanks!

The testers are Lindamood Bell are probably used to anxiety issues as they deal with children who struggle academically. I administered the Iowa Test and CogAt. I would think the psychologist would have experience as we discussed it prior to the test being scheduled. My daughter reads incredibly fast and retains it well. She also reads books that are considered complex for her age/grade. She can schedule her own day and completes most independently. We bog down with math. She takes twice as long and needs a lot of help. In hindsight, she doesn't write out her math here either. (That's definitely something I will work on this year). Thank you!

The best advice I read was to eliminate as much bread as possible at first. The theory is that kids with celiac disease will forget what bread tastes like after a few months and the gf bread won't be so jarring. It's a hard switch for those that cook and one that made me cry several times because it was all so stinking difficult. The easiest thing to do is purge the house of wheat items (or at least move to one location so you won't accidentally use them) and eliminate contaminated equipment (plastic bowls for example). We also use a separate toaster for gf bread. The easiest things to start with are naturally gf items. Meat (pork chops, grilled chicken breast, steak, seafood), vegetables (steamed, seasoned), rice or potato. Taco seasonings mostly have gluten, but there are some brands that are gf. Taco night is a familiar favorite, just make sure to get corn tortillas. Pizza crusts that are already made and gf are helpful at first. GF baking is a strange new creature to adjust to, I'd make sure you have two weeks worth of meals that you are comfortable preparing before diving in. Muffins and breakfast sweets are the easiest to make. We use Pamela's brand and all of us love it. My daughter gets headaches when we visit friends who bake their own wheat bread. I think it's in the air.