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Hockey Mom

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  1. The rink we're at now is a 40 minute drive. It will be about an hour once we move into the house we've put an offer on. The closest rink to us is an hour and 20 minutes away. We are considering that rink, but we want to wait until the season is over (middle June) before we approach them.
  2. We just moved here. We started at this rink 3 months ago. I did not find out about the bullying until 2-3 weeks ago. As soon as I heard about it, I brought it to the director's attention. The attitude of this rink is, "it's just the way that kid is". They want that kid at their rink because he too is talented. His dad is a coach. They need volunteers. They are not going to rock the boat with this family in order to make the new family happy. It IS politics, and it's at every rink, and most other sporting/dance organizations that I've ever been a part of. It just so happens that this particular rink takes it to a different level. It's not generally accepted for parents of kids this age to be hanging out in the locker room as kids are getting dressed for hockey, and my DS feels embarrassed to have one of his parents in there with him. That said, I HAVE been present in the locker room since I heard it was happening, and he hasn't been bullied while I'm in there. The unintended consequence of me being in the locker room is that DS isn't happy I'm there, and he gets flack from the other kids about it on the bench. There is nothing I can do about it when it takes place on the ice. I'm trying to teach my son to stand up for himself. My son has been skating since he was 4 years old. Hockey is his passion. I'm not going to make him give it up because of one kid. Dh is 'buddy buddy' with the coach in an effort to maintain some sort of open communication with this coach. I can no longer do it. HE can. Dh's solution to this is to punch the bully in the mouth the next time he steps out of line with DS. I would rather an adult figure tell the kid to straighten up. The director and I are working on solutions to remedy the situation. We have a fourth meeting tonight to go over it. Unsinkable: I am learning to accept the learning curve of this particular coach. The director is working with us both on that aspect. This is his first gig as head coach, and I am uncertain if he's ever assisted. The director is going to have the Bantam coach assist this coach, so that it's better for everyone. I know there are at least two other kids that don't see a lot of ice time either. I haven't noticed (my attention is on my own son), but two other families have stepped forward with the same complaints. The defensive coach is very good. He rotates his lines, and is really good with the kids on the ice. The kid in charge of moving the forwards onto the ice is a Bantam player, however, he gets all of his direction from the coach. ETA: You know...it just occurred to me that maybe the coach and his kid see my DS as a threat? Prior to us playing there, that kid was the only kid with any natural talent for the game. None of the kids have skated for more than a year...DS has been skating for 6 years, playing the game for 5 years. I dunno...grasping at some sort of understanding...
  3. I also wanted to add that Dh still has the ability to 'chit chat' with the coach. They were pretty buddy-buddy until he benched my kid in the last game and I had had enough. Dh still talks small talk with the coach, and I completely ignore him. I have nothing to say to him. I have decided to go above his head to the director with any further issues. When I did speak to the director about the coach's kid, his reply was, "yeah...that's just *kid's name*. He's like that to everyone." Um...no, he's not. Or maybe it's some sort of hazing thing, because the entire team follows him around like a puppy dogs (including my DS until recently).
  4. To answer some questions: Both of my boys tried out. Both were invited to play squirt travel. There was a problem in the first game, we had a meeting with coach/director, was informed problem was being worked on, and we moved my younger son to a Mite level (eligible due to birth year) in order to "free up space on the bench". This is this coach's first time coaching. He is a parent volunteer. I was cutting him major slack, being super nice to him and his wife, and his kid was still a jerk to my ds. At that time, we instructed DS to just stay away from the coach's kid and ignore it. There was a second incident (the one I linked to in my OP). I have spoken to the director at length about this issue, and he is assuring me that he is working on a solution. He agrees that DS is too talented to be sitting on the bench for a whole game. He agrees that my concerns are valid and justified. He has assured me that he is working on the problem, and I believe that he is. Yes, we signed a contract. Our last game for this season is June 15, and does not include any tournaments. We have tryouts on June 8 for the fall season. At that time, my younger DS will no longer be eligible to play Mite level, and they will both be trying out for the team. There is a tryout at the other rink on June 2, but I'm really nervous about taking them there before the season is over because I know how small this hockey community is, and I know it will get back to the coach. I'm not interested in stirring up that kind of drama. We also have a week-long hockey camp at our home rink, and a week-long hockey camp at the other rink. Coach's kid will likely be at both camps as well. We have instructed DS not to start a fight with this kid, but not to back down either. DS's temper doesn't blow often, but when it does, I know I will get a phone call (at best). The problem for ME, is how/when do I step in? I don't want to baby him, but I don't want this kid demoralizing him either.
  5. This is where Dh and I are at right now. As of tonight, we will not be attending. However, that doesn't stop the other kids from talking about it and DS hearing about it. He thinks he might want to go ONLY because he's never been to a tourney before. Our previous rink never followed through with allowing the kids to go. That is the ONLY reason I am second-guessing our decision to NOT go. The closest rink is an hour away. We have considered putting them there, but fear that "idiot" coach would attempt to sabotage us before we even got there (which is direct result of me being that unapolgetically parent who refuses to conform). Dh still plays the 'good cop' so that the boys won't be alienated further. I even went as far as to tell the hockey director at our rink that I have NO problem being a jerk the entire time we are there, simply because my DS WANTS to play there. And he's VERY good at hockey.
  6. We were invited by "idiot" coach to play in an up-coming hockey tournament. Cost per kid for the tournament is $99 (does not include transportation and hotel, obviously). I have had on-going issues with this coach. He is clueless when it comes to managing his bench during games, and it's been an issue for a few weeks. Anyway, when he approached us to play, he said up-front, "DS will get about 30 seconds of ice time in this type of game." First of all...how utterly insulting. Second, he made it clear in no uncertain terms that he will be "showcasing" a few players at this tourney (and of course, HIS SON is the primary focus). He discussed how this is a lot of fun for the kids because they get to hang out at the hotel and be silly, watch other teams, etc. Here's the kicker: the coach's kid bullies my DS. Every time they are on the ice his kid calls my DS "loser". Any time there is a public skate after a game, the kids will usually stay and skate together. The last time they did this, my DS piped up in the locker room and said, "hey...who's doing free skate? Me and my brother are going...." and the coach's son says, "I'm not skating with him...you guys shouldn't either." And NONE of his other team mates stayed. Despite them staying every single week. If coach's kid sees one of the other team mates talking/playing with my DS, he quietly goes over to that kid and pulls the kid away from DS. If DS tries to hang out with the coach's kid, that kid says "go away..you're a loser", and if there's more than one kid with him he'll say, "come on, let's ditch him." DS is frustrated, and angry. He's tried the 'be friendly' route. He's tried the 'ignore' route. No matter what DS does, this kid has got it out for him, and he's slowly turning the other kids away from DS too. I really, really dislike this kid. My dislike for this kid and his dad is making me a bit irrational. Question #1: Would you pay the money, time, travel to attend a tournament where the coach has guaranteed he will pretty much bench your kid the whole game? Where, DS will likely spend the weekend trying to connect with his team, only to have the bully make it near impossible? Question #2: How do I deal with this situation? I can't talk to any of the higher-ups at the rink because this is their "golden boy" at the rink (a whole 'nother post in itself). You would not believe the vile things this kid gets away simply because he's the fastest skater (and not by much, might I add!). Dh is considering coaching in some capacity for the fall season, but I'm becoming "that parent" at this rink. I'm not bowing down to the alter of this kid, and frankly, I am shocked by the willingness of these parents to blindly allow their kids to follow this vile brat in an attempt to get more ice time during games (and it's working!). I am starting to HATE this place, and we have to be there 5-6 nights a week. Can you help me rationally think through this? TIA
  7. :iagree: And from a different POV, if our (former) full-time employees didn't have to take off work for every. little. thing. and were more reliable, we wouldn't have gone to a part time schedule. I can't tell you how many times we had employees calling in because they were feeling "burned out" or "needed a personal day". I had one guy who was always scheduling appointments on the day after his day off. When I asked him why he didn't schedule these appointments on his day off, he replied, "because that's MY time". Umm....yeah, let's just put the added burden of your absence on the rest of the team instead. Our full time employees worked normal 8-hour days (so no chopped up schedule as some have indicated above), 40 hours a week. Since going to the part-time model, we always have coverage. If someone needs a day off, it's no big deal - they can ask someone who needs/wants the hours to cover for them. If an employee shows ambition, or has the reputation of being dependable, then we offer them full-time when a position opens up. We also use our software to determine how many people are needed during certain hours of the day. Statistically, we have three 'rushes' throughout the day. Our shortest shift to work is a 4-hour window. And it most definitely is during one of the three busy times of the day, and/or an hour before the rush so they can give the others a lunch break. To bring people into work and not have anything for them to do is a waste of money (for us) and time (for them). We are a very small business. We have 5 full time employees, and 10 part time employees (plus me and Dh).
  8. I planned to stop a spelling program after 5th grade.
  9. If this convention is the one I think you're referring to, it's going to be my first hs convention. I'm going for the products. I have zero interest in any of the speakers. I don't even know who Ken Ham is....LOL
  10. I've seen actual fake cigarettes made out of bubble gum at a local candy store recently. I recall being surprised by that too. Not sure what the laws on making candy-shaped tobacco products are anymore, but someone is still making it.
  11. We don't allow first-person shooting games. While science is still sketchy on the long-term effects of playing such games, we do know that for the short-term, they increase violent tendencies for some children. DS10 has no problem walking away from video games. DS9 throws a massive temper tantrum when it's time to turn the games off, and he gets really ugly when he's losing and isn't allowed to reset the game. So for one child, these types of games would probably have little to no effect. For the younger, I could see them affecting his personality. We tend to go by the ratings on the games.
  12. Well....as a small business owner, I can tell you why WE hire a lot of part time employees. It has nothing to do with Obamacare. It's to help cover shifts for when people call in. I would love to supply healthcare as a benefit, but the facts on the ground are such, that I have to hire more part timers in order to have a full staff to actually work. I have tried hiring people full time in the past, and when one person calls in sick/personal day, it's an incredible burden on the entire team, and I was paying overtime. The workload is such, that hiring an additional full timer employee didn't make financial sense, nor did we have enough work for an additional full timer. Currently, our full time employees are managers. Everyone else is part time.
  13. That looks like what I'm looking for! Thank you! :)
  14. I would like to find a music program that teaches the following: Names of notes Scales/Tone/Rythm Classifying instruments Musician biographies of the great artists I keep running into programs that teach an instrument. I am not looking for that at this time. I want to give my boys a musical foundation before I allow them to pick an instrument. Is there such a curriculum available?
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