Tress Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Wonderful news! I'm so happy for you and your dd! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Oh Denise, I am so happy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That's amazing. I'm so thrilled, and I'm sitting here in tears for you both. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 How wonderful for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Wow. I am in tears over your post and wish you all much joy in the future. I also have a Chinese daughter, and every time I read one of your posts about your RADish, I think, "That could just as easily have been us." Who knows why one child attaches and one doesn't, but bless you for sticking with her for so long. I hope the rest of your family can eventually come to wipe the slate clean as well. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That is wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That's so amazing! Hallelujah!! God has rewarded your perseverance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That is wonderful. It is amazing what these kids can keep bottled up inside. My now 16dd (with special needs) has memories of things that happened to her in infancy that still affect her today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 ack, your post made me cry. Denise, I'm so, so happy for you. I don't know that I could do what you've done. I'm so happy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :party::hurray: I will have the happy dance with you! Denise, it's a testament to her inner strength and ability to endure and your unconditional love and perseverance, fighting for your child, and that is just AMAZING! Maybe you'll write the book someday that will help other radishes (:D) and their parents find hope. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 This gives me so much hope for my situation. We've only been working at it for 2 years. I've been tempted to throw in the towel a few times and stop trying. Your post gives me new resolve. Don't give up!!! DON'T!!!!! Take a break when you need one, re-energize, then keep on keeping on. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Two years is NOT enough!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 That is wonderful. It is amazing what these kids can keep bottled up inside. My now 16dd (with special needs) has memories of things that happened to her in infancy that still affect her today. memories from her infancy? Wow. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I am SO very happy for you, Denise. Some of your posts have made me wince for what you're going through. I'm thrilled to hear about this turn around. How wonderful for her to have this breakthrough! I hope the rest of her childhood will be positive in her emotional development. You're a wonderful mom- an example to us all- and she is benefitting from your unconditional love. Blessings on your WHOLE family!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Amazing :001_smile:! I'm so happy for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I have read your posts in the past about your dd and my heart has broke for all of you!! I am SOOOO excited for you and your family!!! What an amazing breakthrough! I hope that everyday gets better and better for all of you! God is so good!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: So happy for you and your DD. I grieve over the stories where families give up an adopted child after years of trying and suffering, but so often I can understand how the parents reach a breaking point. Your story gives so much hope that perserverance and love can eventually reap a reward, and that these poor kids can indeed have hope of healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Your story brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what you have gone through and how relieved you must feel at this moment. I am very happy for you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :grouphug: What an amazing breakthrough! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsidian Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :party::party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I have read your posts in the past, and been so sad for you and her, and your family. This post warmed my heart. I am so very, very happy for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Denise, I am so happy for you and your daughter. What a wonderful blessing you have been to her. Everyone deserves a mother that will love and fight for them as you have your little radish. I pray that she does find peace and is able to accept the love that you and dh give to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 WOW!!!! That's truly amazing! :) I am SO happy for you guys!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :grouphug: That is amazing! Sharing the joy of this experience with you and the bittersweetness of the pain your dd has had in her life.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Wow!!! Seriously. I just don't even know what to say. I'm SO filled with joy for you and your family. It sounds like this is such a huge turning point for her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Celebrating with you with tears in my eyes! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Awesome!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueinNC Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I, too, am in tears over your post. So happy for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I am not a crier, but I am sitting here in tears. What a blessing to have your dd truely happy and ready to embrace the love you have been showing her for so many years. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That's amazing, Denise. Beyond amazing. Beyond words. That kind of wonderful. I believe that someday, she will come to find peace. She has the support she needs to get there. It will take time, but it will happen. I have to say that your dd has been on my mind every so often. This post made me so happy, Denise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I have to say that your dd has been on my mind every so often. This post made me so happy, Denise. Yes, I have thought of your daughter often. Your post brought a huge smile to my face and tears to my eyes. I'm so happy for both you and your daughter. It's amazing how He knows when we need strength and encouragement to keep pushing forward. I hope things continue to move in the right direction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Hoping and praying that this is a solid beginning for her, you, and everyone. I'm so happy for you guys :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I think about you and your daughter a lot. This post warms my heart! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 memories from her infancy? Wow. :sad: Yes, my dd as well! She told me things about her finding time, which I didn't know. Later, when I finally ordered her finding ad, I got to do the translation myself, and what she said was verified that way. One of the many books we had to read in prep for our adoption talked about how normal events don't imprint on babies, because everything is, well, normal. However, if something traumatic happens, it can be remembered. The book (gosh I wish I remember which one) also talked about how most babies are born with a certain understanding of what is right/normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Truly amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom26 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I hate to keep calling dd my RAD dd. I sometimes call her my little RADish...... a term of endearment, not just a label! I somehow think it sounds ........ I don't know.... more acceptable? Anyway, this week was a HUGE, HUGE turning point for my dd. She has been home with us for almost 7.5 years, and she's never, ever learned to trust us. I know this because when ever she's hurt, she NEVER comes to us for comfort. In fact, it took YEARS for her to CRY when she was hurt! Unfortunately, these are common traits from kids who were severely neglected and/or abuse. I've been working on this with her for YEARS. Also, she rarely speaks her feelings. When she does, half the time you really can't believe what she's saying. It's as if she's saying what she thinks YOU want to hear. Two nights ago I was sitting at the kitchen island when I heard her crying in her bed. It was after 9:00 and I thought for sure she was asleep! I went upstairs, thinking she had a bad dream. She was sobbing hysterically and couldn't talk! I just kept rubbing her back and trying to comfort her. Finally, when she had cried enough to feel better, she had a lot to tell me. A LOT. Things that she'd been keeping bottled up inside forever. Things that bother her. Things that make her happy. Things that make her sad. LOTS and LOTS of stuff. She's NEVER done this before. Ever. Not even close. I brought her downstairs and I just held her in my arms and we talked until after midnight. She decided that she wanted to keep a journal and start to write all her thoughts down, and she wanted to read her journal to me daily. On her first page, she asked FOUR TIMES why her birth mother gave her away. :crying: She also said that her mom (yes, me) works so hard to help her. She said she loves me. And she's decided that like dd11, she wants regular special time alone with me. This is my RAD kid who has rejected me and my love since THE DAY she met me!!!!!!!!!!! I was an emotional wreck all day yesterday. I couldn't get beyond the deep pain to the core of my being, the pain my daughter was feeling. I wish there was something I could do to help her have peace about her birthmom. I hate seeing her with this deep, raw pain. I was near tears all day. Today, I'm just SO grateful that MY DAUGHTER LOVES ME AND WANTS TO BE WITH ME. ALONE. JUST THE TWO OF US. Never. NEVER before. Ever. This is the BIGGEST break through we've ever had with her. In fact, it was SO huge that we woke up dh and told him a lot of what we were discussing! He was as happy as he could be. She has really caused tremendous stress on our family. Heartbreaking stress. It's not like it can all just be erased for him. But me? I think it has been erased for me. Things are just somehow different now. It FEELS different. My heart has been so filled with love for her that it STILL hurts! I've always loved her, but it's just DIFFERENT. The things she said, the deep, personal feelings she shared..... She wants to be able to discuss these things with me freely and regularly. WOW!!! I just can't believe this change has come about!!! I never dreamed she would be like this. And I can TELL that her words are GENUINE!!! And do you know what prompted all of this? Her MEI magazines!!! In the May issue they had a LOT to say about Mother's Day; how it's ok to love two moms, how it's ok to talk about your birth mom, how it's GOOD to talk about your feelings. She's been clutching this magazine for over a week and she just had to get everything out. My poor little dd. I do hope one day she can feel TRUE happiness and peace. I hope some day her scars and pains will be greatly diminished if not altogether GONE. Please celebrate with me. I truly feel that this breakthrough is the most astounding thing I've ever experienced, and I am absolutely FILLED with hope. In the past 24 hours, I can't even tell you how many times she's told me she loves me, and she has been happy to kiss and hug me. It's as if she can't get enough. :001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub::001_wub: Oh Denise,I am so thrilled for you. As an adoptive mom with mild issues compared to yours and much tumult over the past 5 years I can so appreciate what you are saying and I REJOICE with you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 How wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :grouphug: happy tears and :party: -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 So happy for you. After almost 6 years it's the little breakthroughs with my RADish that keeps me from giving up. It's also stories like this. Thank you for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 It's a miracle, isn't it? Oh, I'm so very, very happy for you! And for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 :party: My heart goes out to all of you moms with RADishes. The job you all are doing with your children blows me away! I'm rejoicing with you today!!!! God Bless, Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That is great!:party: I can't imagine what this has been like for you-but I'll happily celebrate with you-and your daughter, because she's starting to heal-and even though that means hurt, it's worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Wonderful! I am so happy for you and your family :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I am thrilled for you both! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Aw. I am in tears reading your post. What an amazing breakthrough for her and for you. :grouphug: Cat Me, too. I remember all the posts when you were so very frustrated. This is truly amazing and I'm so very happy for you.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 So happy for you and your little Radish, Denise! Great news! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Your post had:hurray: even as I :crying:. I am so happy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Denise, I saw just the first few words of your title on the main page, and I was so so hopeful it was YOU posting it. I am just so absolutely THRILLED for both of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 This thread should come with a cry warning :D :party::party::party: Amazing and awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I have long admired your unconditional love for your daughter. You are amazing, and she is amazing, and I cannot wait to see what happens with your relationship! What a beautiful story of healing!!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 I am SO happy for you! As the mom of a challenging DD who was also adopted, my heart has always gone out to you. I know the pain and the struggles intimately...I've prayed for you and your DD often. What a wonderful and unexpected answer to prayer! A blessing straight from God. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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