Praying for your son!!

My awesome husband just invited my elderly, disabled and broke parents to move in with us. To do so, he has to be ready to financially support them as well as physically care for them, and must give up our bedroom and move upstairs. I love that man.

Awesome! So excited!!! Thanks for doing this!!

We moved from Texas to Hickory, NC eight years ago and it was a fabulous decision! I love Asheville. If we ever move from Hickory, it would be there. Gorgeous mountains, lots of outdoor activities, an interesting, bohemian kind of atmosphere...lots to do. Coming from Texas, you will enjoy the cooler temps, not to mention the four seasons!!

Thinking of you, Rosie.

Prayers!

It may be possible in your area to have your DD "arrested" on a mental illness warrant and involuntarily hospitalized due to the suicidal ideation you found in her internet searches. I had to do this several times for my BIL, whom we thought was bipolar but turned out to be schizophrenic. Once in the hospital, they can hold for 24 hours for eval. If she is truly manic and they can see she is a risk to self and others, they may be able to hold her and court order forced medication to stabilize her before release. Not a perfect solution by any means, but may be a start for you. Contact your county mental illness court and see if there is a mechanism for families to do this where you are living. We had to go down to the court and swear out a warrant on BIL...more than once. The key was having personal knowledge of threats to harm self or others. If you can swear to that in court, it is possible in some places to warrant them into the hospital. Tough love, that one. Painful but worth it. I'm so sorry. There is truly not a good answer in this country for helping adults with a major mental illness. We have to muddle through. However, like Joanne said, your DD's therapist may be able to help by "listening" but not sharing back to you in anything other than hypotheticals. Each time BIL was a threat, I called docs, hospitals, therapists, whomever and said, "I know you cannot talk to me, but I just want to give you some information." Mandated reporters often then report...or inform you of what you can do legally, in hypotheticals. Hugs and tears with you...

Zero desire, and not on my part. It's depressing.

My mom has a Parkinson's related disorder and we leave her in parked cars in the middle of Texas summer time heat because that's the way she wants it!! Of course, we leave her with the keys and the air running, in the front seat. She would far rather be left in the car than struggle through multiple errands and end up in bed for the rest of the day. In fact, sometimes she comes along deliberately to sit in the car and wait, because it gets her out of the house and engaging in life, even if she's not in the store. That's a healthy choice, IMHO, and I'd hate to see that taken away from her by an overbearing public servant. Checking on her would be sweet. Forcing her out of the car, through the heat and into a store in her condition would be abusive.

Never been so glad that I am not a big picture poster! I stopped searching when I got all the way back to 2011 and all I found was one cupcake pic! Checking the avatar now...

Would a special needs student be able to manage the middle school classes with parental assistance? I realize that is a broad question, but for these purposes assume moderately intellectually impaired.

My child has Ectodermal Dysplasia, so yes...weird teeth are our norm. We expect to pay up to 100K on his mouth by his 21st birthday, most of which will not be covered by insurance. We have peg (or conical) teeth, missing teeth, baby teeth that will be there till adulthood, you name it. He has only seven permanent teeth. It's a rare disorder, but actually many people have it to some degree and don't know it. More info is available at www.nfed.org

I had a situation like that in graduate school, though it was more about gender bias/abuse than is your situation. I ended up reporting it anonymously on the end of semester teacher evaluation. The prof was so mad that the next fall, when I had to take him again, he began the class ranting at all the students about whomever had had the balls to accuse him of such a thing. Proved my point exactly, but it was hard to listen to and have to live through. No avoiding the guy, not if I wanted to graduate! If I had to do it over again, I'd do exactly what I did or more. Just wanted to warn you, though, that it can be traumatic. It was for me...still remember exactly how I felt. The more of you who do it, the better, and yes...it should be done. :(

I always tell my kids that adult status is conferred upon those who have earned it, both through behaviors and choices as well as actual years on the planet (not to mention, paying their own bills! ;) ). Each one of them is on their way there, but ain't there yet! So, ask all the questions you want but they better be asked respectfully. In an ideal world, this would always work. However, I have an FASD child, so... ;)

It is worth a full workup. Where there is smoke, there is usually fire. :( So sorry. On the flip side, though, my daughter with FASD has NONE of the facial features and no medical history, so it took us a really long time to figure out what was going on. Early diagnosis has better outcomes. We could have saved her a lot of suffering had we known early.

My daughter is taking Keppra. No noticeable weight loss, but then she is also on risperdal, which causes weight gain. I took her off the risperdal for a while but kept her on the Keppra...her weight went back down to what it was prior to risperdal. It's impossible to say for certain, but I don't think the Keppra is having much of an effect.

We happily celebrated our 20th anniversary yesterday and today await the imminent birth of our second grandson! Happy week!

What do you think about these interactive IDs? They have a call in or log in for detailed medical information vs a USB. My daughter has one, but unfortunately I cannot get her to wear it at the moment. She has a brain injury and seizures, so I have both listed on the tag as well as a legal alert. You can choose either the interactive or the basic ID based on your condition. https://www.roadid.com/p/the-Wrist-ID-Elite

Mother's Day almost always sucks around here. Wish we didn't even have to celebrate it. One of my adopted kids has a really hard time with it. This year, I got cursed out and whacked on for a couple hours. We topped that one off by kicking in the bathroom door and breaking the jam. Hard to do on an 80 year old house with rock hard wood. Dinner out obviously didn't happen. Feeling a wee bit sorry for myself this morning, though honestly I feel worse for the kid. Wish we could just forget about all these Hallmark holidays and move on. It's easier that way.

I am so sorry for your horrible loss. Many prayers for you and your family. Hugs...

There are no easy answers for a child with FASD and I don't imagine there will be short of heaven. However, Diane Malbin's book "Trying Differently, Not Harder" has made a big difference in our lives. The neurobehavioral approach to parenting my daughter has helped make her life so much better. Hope this helps someone...she does trainings and has also spawned a whole other group of trainers doing the same thing.

Amazing!

Thanks for your reply! I got it before the IEP meeting and it really crystallized my thinking on the issue...helped me make my decision, for sure!

I've pretty much decided that we are going to keep him home, pursue outside testing as I do see a problem that needs to be addressed and continue with our plan to have him attend a private Christian high school where he will be allowed to take college classes in high school. I feel better about addressing his problems privately at this point than I do in throwing him into middle school, even with an IEP. It's a nice school but middle school can be brutal and he doesn't want to go.

Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear that.