s/o "would this bother you" thread - re: pool use

[Brilliant]

An acquaintance of mine was complaining about her next door neighbor being away for most of the summer, with their pool sitting unused, while she & her children sat in the heat all summer. She said the neighbor (with whom they are friendly) should have told them they could use the pool anytime they wanted. She was very serious, and put out at their selfishness.

 

We have a pool, and ever since that conversation I have been wondering if I'm supposed to let my friends who live nearby know that they can use it whenever we travel. The idea of people being in our yard when we are not home - even though they are good friends - just makes me uncomfortable. But now I feel selfish for keeping the pool to myself. I hadn't really thought about the liability issue until I was reading photomo's thread on this topic.

 

We were gone several times this summer. Once it was for 10 days and when we came home there was damage to our landscaping. We discovered after a while that squirrels had caused it (who knew they could be so destructive?!) But if we had given an open invitation to friends, I'd have been put out wondering whose children had been hacking at the shrubbery.

 

So, what do you think? Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?

[sbgrace]

I'm not a pool owner. It has never occurred to me to expect friends with pools to give me an open invitation when they are away. If I did own a pool the liability concerns alone would make me unwilling to open my pool when I was out of town. No, I don't think you owe anyone your pool use and I think your acquaintance's sense of entitlement is yucky.

[cindergretta]

Yikes! NO way! The liability alone would bar that from ever happening were I to ever own a home with a pool.

 

Furthermore, if I own a pool, I clean it, I maintain it, I pay for the water that goes into it, etc. IOW, I am out all the money that pool ownership entails. Why on earth would I owe anyone to use it when I am not home? :confused:

 

Should I open my home to the homeless while we are out of town, as well?

 

Your friend sounds jealous. You sound sane. Keep people off your private property when you aren't there. No sense inviting a lawsuit into your life!

[elegantlion]

I would not presume an open invitation to a pool when people aren't home. There are too many liability issues.

 

A neighbor's pool is not my pool. If I am that offended I should build my own, seriously. Sheesh, now everything that are neighbors own is ours? When did that happen? I am not entitled to YOUR pool because you bought a house with a pool or invested enough to build one.

 

Now an invitation to swim with you from time to time would be nice. :D

[FaithManor]

Its a huge liability to the homeowner to allow the use of the pool when they are out of town. I seriously doubt one's homeowner's insurance would be happy about such an arrangement.

 

Pools are wonderful things. Pools are also liabilities. If I had one, NO ONE would use it if Dh or I were not home.

 

Faith

[Tangerine]

It would never occur to me that it was selfish for someone not to offer up their belongings (especially expensive ones with maintenance costs) to me. It sounds entitled on the other end.

[In the Rain]

I think she is way out of line!

[Impish]

Yikes! NO way! The liability alone would bar that from ever happening were I to ever own a home with a pool.

 

Furthermore, if I own a pool, I clean it, I maintain it, I pay for the water that goes into it, etc. IOW, I am out all the money that pool ownership entails. Why on earth would I owe anyone to use it when I am not home? :confused:

 

Should I open my home to the homeless while we are out of town, as well?

 

Your friend sounds jealous. You sound sane. Keep people off your private property when you aren't there. No sense inviting a lawsuit into your life!

:iagree:

Anyone that thinks they're owed the use of someone else's property is an entitled twit.

[Farrar]

Good grief, of course not. Who would think that?

 

I think if one was good friends with one's neighbors, it would be a nice thing to do, but the presumption is absurd.

[Brilliant]

 

Now an invitation to swim with you from time to time would be nice. :D

 

We love to have friends over for a swim. :)

 

I'm relieved that this acquaintance's views aren't shared by everyone else...I will rest easy next summer as we lock the yard gate whenever we leave.

[mom4him]

We have a 16' above ground pool that we put up every summer. Many of the neighborhood kids come and swim with out kids. I... would... NOT... allow them to be here if I wasn't though. It just wouldn't happen. A pool is an investment, takes time, money to keep up. If that friend wants the use of a pool they need to make the sacrifice it takes to have one or be happy when they are invited to use the neighbors.

[pdalley]

:iagree:

Anyone that thinks they're owed the use of someone else's property is an entitled twit.

 

:iagree:Well said, Imp

[sewingmama]

We had a neighbour who offered us the use of their pool whenever because they were working all day long and away most weekends. However we never used it because I felt strange using things while they weren't there (plus they weren't close friends just acquantances). They also had two dogs that liked to escape from their yard regularly and I didn't want them thinking we had let them out when we used the pool.

 

I do think your friend is being ridiculous. If she wants to use it so badly why doesn't she just ask them -maybe they would be happy to allow them but it just never crossed their mind to offer. I think your friend should offer something up in return for the privledge though - like maybe offering to help maintain the pool.

 

I would be reluctant to let your friend use the pool though - if she feels this entitled then she is likely to feel that anyone who wants to use it should be allowed and would maybe invite all her friends along for a pool party - and we all know where that leads :glare:

[Haiku]

Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?

 

Absolutely not, and your acquaintance was out of line. I would never, ever consider doing this due to liability issues (not that we have a pool anyway ... I definitely don't want one).

 

Tara

[mommaduck]

Your acquaintance is out of line. Yes, it's a liability issue. It's also an issue of "she is not entitled". If she wanted a pool, she could have one installed, have bought one, or have bought a pass to the local pool. If unable to do all of that, she could have simply turned on the hose or sprinkler (it's what we did as kids who couldn't afford the local country club pool pass). She doesn't pay for the water, doesn't have to clean the pool, doesn't balance the chlorine, and isn't the one liable if something should happen. She needs to get over herself. Yes, it's an understandable envy to see an unused pool in the midst of the summer's heat. However, it does not entitle her to use of another's pool, nor to call another person selfish because she isn't receiving the type of generosity she desires.

 

*posted by someone that doesn't even have grass, let alone a pool*

[Pink Fairy]

That's bizarre, and my guess is that the type of people who felt they were owed the use of the pool are the same ones who would rush to sue the owners if there was an accident.

[Ottakee]

This is about like the time a whole van load of kids pulled into my friend's house. The kids piled out and my friend went to see what they wanted (didn't even know them) and the mom said "oh, we are here to ride your horses" ??????????

 

Well, the realtor had told them when they bought a house close by that "of course you can ride the neighbor's horses". My friend politely turned them around and headed them out. She has wonderful, well trained horses but they are more endurance riding type horses---NOT babysitter, kid pony ride horses.

 

Liability is just too great if you aren't comfortable with it.

 

Now, we did have a neighbor next door to us that we were fairly close to (neighbors for 18 years) who invited my kids to swim daily. They did swim almost daily some summers. I would not have asked her but her son didn't swim much and she wanted the pool used and stirred up.

[justamouse]

Why do so many people not have manners?

 

Apart from the aspect that they didn't ask and weren't offered, what about the common sense thought that it could be a liability to the homeowner and out of consideration to that friend, they wouldn't put them at such risk.

[beaners]

We had a neighbour who offered us the use of their pool whenever because they were working all day long and away most weekends. However we never used it because I felt strange using things while they weren't there (plus they weren't close friends just acquantances). They also had two dogs that liked to escape from their yard regularly and I didn't want them thinking we had let them out when we used the pool.

 

 

 

Now, we did have a neighbor next door to us that we were fairly close to (neighbors for 18 years) who invited my kids to swim daily. They did swim almost daily some summers. I would not have asked her but her son didn't swim much and she wanted the pool used and stirred up.

 

My (childhood) neighbors also extended us an open invitation to swim whenever we wanted. I would never presume that they had any obligation to do so. I did take advantage of it once it had been offered though. :D

[OrganicAnn]

"If you want to swim in a pool so much, why don't you pay for your own." This is what I would be thinking and probably not saying.

 

Pools are expensive. Pools cost money to maintain. I guess the neighbor wasn't going to chip in for the cost.

 

Maybe they have big screen TV too that the neighbor should be allowed to enjoy, I mean if they are going to be away and why watch a small screen when a greedy neighbor has a big screen they aren't using. An extra car, ping pong table in the basement, a good long-distance plan... Where does it end?

[jennsmile]

When my BIL put in his pool we were told for insurance purposes we couldn't use the pool if they weren't home. We go once or twice in the week during the summer sometimes more sometimes less. But usually we swim with them. Never when they aren't home.

 

While I do have pool envy sometimes, when I consider the cost, upkeep and safety hazard with young children I am glad it is not in my backyard. :001_smile:

[mommaduck]

This is about like the time a whole van load of kids pulled into my friend's house. The kids piled out and my friend went to see what they wanted (didn't even know them) and the mom said "oh, we are here to ride your horses" ??????????

 

Well, the realtor had told them when they bought a house close by that "of course you can ride the neighbor's horses". My friend politely turned them around and headed them out. She has wonderful, well trained horses but they are more endurance riding type horses---NOT babysitter, kid pony ride horses.

 

 

Oh my! I would be livid (with the realtor) and request the name of the realtor. There would be a phone call. Ouch! I can understand trying to sell a home, but not under such presumptions (at best) or false pretences (at worst).

[LizzyBee]

An acquaintance of mine was complaining about her next door neighbor being away for most of the summer, with their pool sitting unused, while she & her children sat in the heat all summer. She said the neighbor (with whom they are friendly) should have told them they could use the pool anytime they wanted. She was very serious, and put out at their selfishness.

 

We have a pool, and ever since that conversation I have been wondering if I'm supposed to let my friends who live nearby know that they can use it whenever we travel. The idea of people being in our yard when we are not home - even though they are good friends - just makes me uncomfortable. But now I feel selfish for keeping the pool to myself. I hadn't really thought about the liability issue until I was reading photomo's thread on this topic.

 

We were gone several times this summer. Once it was for 10 days and when we came home there was damage to our landscaping. We discovered after a while that squirrels had caused it (who knew they could be so destructive?!) But if we had given an open invitation to friends, I'd have been put out wondering whose children had been hacking at the shrubbery.

 

So, what do you think? Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?

 

Your acquaintance is out of line. We have offered a neighbor family use of the pool while we were on vacation in exchange for cleaning it and adding chemicals, and the kids often invite their friends over to swim, but I don't feel any obligation to let anyone use it. It's our expense, our work, our liability. If the neighbors want the benefits of a pool, they can get one of their own.

[myfunnybunch]

:001_huh:

 

I think your aquaintance is nuts.

 

How rude to feel entitled to someone else's property. Sheesh.

 

Cat

[annandatje]

... So, what do you think? Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?

 

A strong unequivocal NO, pool owners are not obligated to let others use their pool.

[Veritaserum]

I'm not a pool owner. It has never occurred to me to expect friends with pools to give me an open invitation when they are away. If I did own a pool the liability concerns alone would make me unwilling to open my pool when I was out of town. No, I don't think you owe anyone your pool use and I think your acquaintance's sense of entitlement is yucky.

 

:iagree:

[dangermom]

I have never expected my pool-owning friends to invite me to use their pool when they are out of town. That said, it was a very pleasant surprise this summer when one of our friends did issue that kind of invitation. However, it was a very limited sort of thing; they did it for two families only, knowing that everyone could swim and was the sort of person they could trust not to abuse it.

 

I would never expect such a thing though!

[Parrothead]

I think she is way out of line!

:iagree:

 

I don't suppose she said she would pay for chemicals and electricity to run the pump.

[Unicorn.]

Yikes! NO way! The liability alone would bar that from ever happening were I to ever own a home with a pool.

 

Furthermore, if I own a pool, I clean it, I maintain it, I pay for the water that goes into it, etc. IOW, I am out all the money that pool ownership entails. Why on earth would I owe anyone to use it when I am not home? :confused:

 

Should I open my home to the homeless while we are out of town, as well?

 

Your friend sounds jealous. You sound sane. Keep people off your private property when you aren't there. No sense inviting a lawsuit into your life!

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Margo out of lurking]

So, what do you think? Do pool owners "owe" their friends use of their pool? Or was my acquaintance out of line?

 

More of the entitlement mentality. What in the world? Why on earth should a pool owner be expected to share their pool with neighbors??????

 

:001_huh::001_huh::001_huh:

 

We have neighbors with a pool. They have grown children. A neighbor boy asked many, many times this past summer if he could swim. I couldn't believe the guy said yes--because then the boy just asked more frequently. We were very clear with ds that he was NOT to ask, not to even be around, when the other boy was asking. Ds was invited to swim in the pool once, and he was extremely grateful for that. I thought it was extremely kind of the neighbor.

 

And since your friends' neighbor was gone for so long, why didn't they just expect to go in their house and sleep in their beds. Less laundry to do at home, you know?

 

:glare:

 

(Did they leave a car in the garage?)

 

I'm really shocked at some people's expectations.

[gardenmom5]

She said the neighbor (with whom they are friendly) should have told them they could use the pool anytime they wanted. She was very serious, and put out at their selfishness.

:lol: has she looked in a mirror lately? "the neighbors owe me the free use of their pool despite not being home to host me. Plus, I contribute absolutely nothing to its upkeep." all for meeeeee . . . . .

 

ever since that conversation I have been wondering if I'm supposed to let my friends who live nearby know that they can use it whenever we travel.

 

just because your "acquaintence" has complained her neighbors (and may have been "hinting" at you) don't have an open invitation to their pool, do not feel you must. if you don't want people in your yard or pool, aboslutely do not invite them. I hope it is fenced and under lock and key. Pools are considered "attractive nusiances.

 

sil installed a wrought iron fence with a paddlock to keep people out as it is also a safety and homeowner's insurance issue.

[bzymom]

It would never occur to me to offer use of our pool to anyone in our absence. I take the responsibility and liability of the pool very seriously, and would be crazed if I found someone was entering our fenced yard and swimming while we were out.

 

And when my neighbor chooses not to drive her convertible on a beautiful Spring day, I am not outraged that she did not offer it to meeeeeeeee!!!!

[mom2denj]

:iagree:

I think she is way out of line!

[TravelingChris]

We bought this home and it does have a pool. So do a few of the neighbors but for those who don;t, they aren't using mine when we are gone. Never would have considered it. Yes, pools are expensive. I just wouldn;t want the liability plus why would they feel they have a right? As others said, they can't use their tvs, cars, lawn mowers, etc.

[staceyobu]

No. Not selfish. Pools are a huge risk and liability.

[Denisemomof4]

I don't understand your friend's logic. She's awfully presumptuous. A person's home/property is their to do solely as they wish, and nobody has a right to another's property........ and of course there's the liability issue. I'm shocked your friend feels entitled! Sheesh!

[momacacia]

We have neighbors who very graciously allow us to use their pool. But it was only recently that I started to take them up on it. I very much consider the liability they are taking on, and I try to leave the pool picked up of toys, as well as do some cleaning of the pool while the kids play, and always make sure the gate is well locked before we leave. I also always knock on their front door to get permission from whoever is home at the time before going into the privacy of their backyard to enjoy their pool.

 

To think that I would expect to use their pool!!!??? We have a baby pool and a sprinkler for hot summer days in our backyard. Good enough. Sheesh! If she wants a pool, start digging!

[JennyD]

This person sounds nuts.

 

As much I love to swim, I do not want a pool in my yard, and if we did have one, I would never in a million zillion years let people come and swim in it when I wasn't home. In fact, just THINKING about it makes me kind of anxious and twitchy. I would have that thing locked up like Fort Knox. Yeah, I can't handle a pool.

 

Anyway, another vote for crazy person, don't pay her any attention.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I don't understand your friend's logic. She's awfully presumptuous. A person's home/property is their to do solely as they wish, and nobody has a right to another's property........ and of course there's the liability issue. I'm shocked your friend feels entitled! Sheesh!

:iagree:

[crazyforlatin]

Your friend just wants to use the neighbor's pool? What not just ask to use the entire house? Oh, while the wife is away, what about the use of the husband?

 

Jeez!

[Donna]

Its a huge liability to the homeowner to allow the use of the pool when they are out of town. I seriously doubt one's homeowner's insurance would be happy about such an arrangement.

 

Pools are wonderful things. Pools are also liabilities. If I had one, NO ONE would use it if Dh or I were not home.

 

Faith

 

:iagree:

[DawnM]

:iagree:

 

 

 

:iagree:

Anyone that thinks they're owed the use of someone else's property is an entitled twit.

[nono]

Our next door neighbors have a pool. We're tight, as are our properties (50' wide lots at a beach community). The only time I've ever used their pool without them is when I arranged for their nephew and my son to have semi-private swim lessons in their pool. I felt terribly odd asking them if we could use their pool, even though they had asked me about swim lessons for their nephew for the summer. It's just such a private thing, one's back yard!

 

So, as you can imagine, no, I don't think you have any obligation to be running a semi-public pool in your back yard!

[bettyandbob]

No way.

 

You take care of the maintenance. You carry the LIABILITY. No way should you be expected to permit anyone to use your pool ever. And really you shouldn't invite someone to use it when you are not home the liability is too great.

 

I love swimming. I will never own a pool. I will always have a pool membership. That is my choice. I would never presume someone else should accomodate me even if they knew how much I enjoyed the pool or how hot it was or any other reason.

[Parker Martin]

Your acquaintance needs to check her entitlement attitude.

 

Most of our neighbors have pools. We do not. It has never occurred to me that they should offer us the use of their pools.

 

If your acquaintance had a great kitchen or entertainment system, would she tell her neighbors that they could come over anytime and use them while she was out? I doubt it.

[Elisabeth in IL]

 

Oh, while the wife is away, what about the use of the husband?

LOL!!!!!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

We have a pool, too, and I have specifically told my SIL and her boyfriend that they could come over anytime, even if we were not home. She lives around the corner from us. They know where the key to the pool is. Other than that, NO WAY! The neighbors? Nuh-uh. I do not want any kids swimming in my pool if I am not there. Even if their parents are there. Why would neighbors assume the right to use someone else's property?

[creekland]

This is about like the time a whole van load of kids pulled into my friend's house. The kids piled out and my friend went to see what they wanted (didn't even know them) and the mom said "oh, we are here to ride your horses" ??????????

 

Well, the realtor had told them when they bought a house close by that "of course you can ride the neighbor's horses". My friend politely turned them around and headed them out. She has wonderful, well trained horses but they are more endurance riding type horses---NOT babysitter, kid pony ride horses.

 

Liability is just too great if you aren't comfortable with it.

 

 

 

Wow! Pools, horses, NO!!!

 

I'd have wanted the realtor name on that one as that is just plain VERY dangerous and WRONG! I wonder if the realtor was joking and the buyers didn't catch that?

 

I would never "expect" usage of anything while our neighbors are away - and we care for our neighbor's critters while they're gone (they do ours too).

 

If people want a pool, get their own!

[gingersmom]

I think that way of thinking is just weird.

 

While were at, why not use my house while I am not home. And my car.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I wouldn't like anyone being in my pool (if I had one LOL) if we weren't home....just too much that could go wrong......