Would you judge me if

[Journey]

you saw the way my 16 year old daughter who goes to public school dresses? I ask this because I've read many threads about moms who don't want their daughters to wear low cut shirts or tight pants. My daughter doesn't wear low cut t shirts but she does wear tight jeans. She wears figure hugging t shirts too but her boobs (she doesn't have much) aren't hanging out. She straightens her hair and wears make up. She wears uggs in the winter and flips in the summer. She wears her t shirts tucked in with a big rhinestone belt buckle sometimes too. I don't tell her what to wear and I don't tell her what not to wear. She makes her own choices and she buys many of her clothes herself. She dresses like most of the teenaged girls her age. That is what is noticed on the outside. What isn't noticed is that she is on honor roll with distinction, she is a grand champion equestrian, she has had a part time job since the day she turned 16, she just got nominated by one of her teachers for the young Entreprenuers (I know I spelled that one wrong) program...a student can't enter this scholarship program without being nominated...she was nominated twice recently to enter a state wide modeling competition (which she isn't going to do, her choice) and I am told very often how mannerly and polite this child is. So....I'm saying this and asking if you would judge me or my daughter just by outward appearances. Why? Because I get the impression by people on here and by people I know in my private life, who do judge us because of what she wears. I can honestly say that I am so proud of my daughter and even more thankful to the Lord for the kind of person He has made her. Again, I'm just wondering.

[LittleIzumi]

Doesn't sound like anything that would even pop up on my radar. Unless I can actually see body parts I shouldn't :lol: I don't think it should be an issue. :grouphug:

[elizabeth]

That type of reaction speaks volumes about the person who is so ignorant as to judge another by outward appearances.

[BeckyFL]

From what you described, it sounds like she dresses just fine to me. AND it sounds like you've raised a wonderful girl. :)

[Remudamom]

Ummm..........she rides right? What could possibly be wrong with her?? 8))

[hsbaby]

Nope....sounds just like the way my teen dresses (she's 14).....and i'm the one that picks out the clothes:)

[Parrothead]

You know, those that hide behind their religion judging people day and night first ought to check their own house then get a hobby. They really have nothing else to do. They really are sad, sorry little people.

 

So maybe you can rethink how you think about "those" people. You and by extension your daughter are giving them something to do.

[mommaduck]

Nope. I've learned my lesson a long time ago about judging a person on how they dress. I've seen wonderful girls with good heads on their shoulders that dress about how you described (maybe even a little more risque with halters when they had come back into style) and I've known many stuck up, stab you in the back kind of girls that were skirts, had long hair, or wore head coverings. Nope, no judgment here...in fact, I'd rather talk with your daughter and get to know her before I'd judge her. Now, that said, it doesn't mean that I might not have different rules for my own daughter than you have for your's. I've also learned that my own rules have changed/loosened as my daughters have gotten older. Your daughter is also a bit older than mine. Nope, I see no reason to judge her. In fact, even though I did a double take at a teenage boy that wears complete make up, even to the eyeliner, that works at a place around here, I realised that I don't know him and he could end up being one of the coolest kids (as far as how he thinks or sees things) around (I'm betting he probably does see a lot of things from outside the box...and I like that!).

 

I just ask that you not judge me for my colourful scarves, big hoop/chandelier earrings, and long skirts ;) Oh, and I like my lipgloss in wines and berries.

Edited March 17, 2011 by mommaduck

[MamaSheep]

Well, there's figure-hugging, and then there's might-as-well-be-spray-paint. I don't think I'd even notice figure-hugging. Spray paint clothing bothers me. I always appreciate it when people dress in such a way that their attire doesn't distract me from their personality.

 

ETA: This might not be a popular thing to say here, but I think I'll say it anyway. Whether we like it or not, the way a person chooses to dress is a form of communication. The same is true of the words we choose to use, our body language, facial expressions. If we don't like the impression people come away with after spending time with us, there are some things we can do about it other than judge the other person as overly judgmental. If we are sending out messages that don't match up with who we feel we really are, and the other person correctly "reads" the messages we actually are sending out, and comes away with a mistaken impression whose fault is that? Is it the fault of the person who correctly interpreted the incorrect messages, or the person who was advertising something different than what was really inside the package? The fact is, people always "evaluate" other people, whether their "judgments" turn out to be kind or just or otherwise. It's a survival skill.

 

I'm not saying I'd negatively judge a teenager who dresses like a "typical" teenager--I'd probably just figure they wanted to 'blend in'. But I think there are "typical teen" modes of dress that express greater and lesser degrees of self-respect, and/or advertise differently the level of physical access a person is willing to offer others to their body. And it always impresses me when teens can manage to be stylish while also sommanding respect.

Edited March 17, 2011 by MamaSheep

[Mejane]

Well, I wouldn't because she dresses the same way as my 18yo dd. Except for the rhinestone belt buckle. ;) My dd is also an honor student (at cc), dances pre-professionally, considers her younger brother her best friend, and has a boyfriend with whom she has decided not to engage in physical relations. Her decision, not mine.

 

I think judging someone by their outward appearances is stupid and shallow. Of course, I'm 50 and I also wear tight t-shirts and jeans and high heels, so maybe I'm the one being judged. Oh well. *shrugs*

[LidiyaDawn]

So....I'm saying this and asking if you would judge me or my daughter just by outward appearances.

 

Nope.

 

I'm a conservative, dresses/skirts only, headcovering "denim jumper" mama ~ my teenage daughter lives in her skinny jeans & uggs. I wouldn't know what to do with eyeshadow if you threw it at me; she wears multiple colours at once and mascara to boot.

 

Clothes & accessories aren't the 'heart' of who a person is. ;)

[mom4him]

you saw the way my 16 year old daughter who goes to public school dresses? I ask this because I've read many threads about moms who don't want their daughters to wear low cut shirts or tight pants. My daughter doesn't wear low cut t shirts but she does wear tight jeans. She wears figure hugging t shirts too but her boobs (she doesn't have much) aren't hanging out. She straightens her hair and wears make up. She wears uggs in the winter and flips in the summer. She wears her t shirts tucked in with a big rhinestone belt buckle sometimes too. I don't tell her what to wear and I don't tell her what not to wear. She makes her own choices and she buys many of her clothes herself. She dresses like most of the teenaged girls her age. That is what is noticed on the outside. What isn't noticed is that she is on honor roll with distinction, she is a grand champion equestrian, she has had a part time job since the day she turned 16, she just got nominated by one of her teachers for the young Entreprenuers (I know I spelled that one wrong) program...a student can't enter this scholarship program without being nominated...she was nominated twice recently to enter a state wide modeling competition (which she isn't going to do, her choice) and I am told very often how mannerly and polite this child is. So....I'm saying this and asking if you would judge me or my daughter just by outward appearances. Why? Because I get the impression by people on here and by people I know in my private life, who do judge us because of what she wears. I can honestly say that I am so proud of my daughter and even more thankful to the Lord for the kind of person He has made her. Again, I'm just wondering.

I would probably look more at how she acts than what she wears. I am a believer in modest dress. I also do not believe that how a person dresses tells a lot about who that person is. I have seen many young woman in a long dress, modest top railing on her dc/dh. Did the dress make her a good mom or wife?(Now understand that I know that we all loose it once in a while.)

It bothers me when I see a young girl dressed in tight pants and/or revealing tops as I question what the message that is possibly being betrayed to all the young men out there. These are some of the things that catch their eye and they determine what kind of a girl this is without bothering to find out who they are. I have heard of more than one young woman ending up in a circumstance she never wanted to be in and her dress had much to do with it.

 

JMO

[clarkacademy]

Sounds about like my 13 year old belt and all lol. No part time job she is just 13 except helping out momma LOL. She knows what is approprite and follows it. To be honest she dresses pretty well and she buys alot of her clothes with bday money and all. She is very picky about her clothes covering her body and has one more occassion said I don't want people calling me the names they do the others girls or boys thinking they can put their hands on her. So no I wouldn't judge ya.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why in the world would you even care what strangers think of you or your daughter? I may or may not want my daughter to dress like yours and I may or may not think it fits my definition of modesty - I can't tell just from a description. Modesty is a standard that I see in the Bible and the Bible is the source of my own standards. But it is my standard for me and for my children while I am passing on my values to them. Judging is not a standard that I see in the Bible for human beings, anyway. Discernment, making decisions based on wisdom, is. And we are told to discern what a person's heart is, not their outward appearance.

[goldberry]

Some people seem to think that modesty = unfashionable.

 

I think you can be fashionable and still stylish and modest, which it sounds like your DD is!

 

Personally, I wear clothes that are "fitted" to my body. I don't consider them "tight" per se, but I don't think "baggy" is very flattering (on anyone really).

[Koerarmoca]

Nope.

 

I'm a conservative, dresses/skirts only, headcovering "denim jumper" mama

 

Clothes & accessories aren't the 'heart' of who a person is. ;)

 

:iagree:

 

I am another modest, headcovering, skirt wearing mama. my daughter are too (minus the head covering) We have largely taught them not to judge others on outward appearance. Modesty is a personal family conviction I pick my battles dd12 even wears jeans in some instances (while I fully believe you can do all activities in a skirt ;)) I have even allowed tinted lip gloss recently. :lol:

[Imprimis]

It bothers me when I see a young girl dressed in tight pants and/or revealing tops as I question what the message that is possibly being betrayed to all the young men out there. These are some of the things that catch their eye and they determine what kind of a girl this is without bothering to find out who they are. I have heard of more than one young woman ending up in a circumstance she never wanted to be in and her dress had much to do with it.

 

JMO

 

IMO, the problem would lie with "young men" who would judge the kind of girl someone is based on what she wears.

[newlifemom]

Nope. I hope that you would not judge me if I did not allow my dd to wear that. We don't have much in the way rules, but I do not like shirts that hug a figure too much. Not that I have some type of measuring device. :tongue_smilie:

 

I always tell my children that different families have different rules and that doesn't make any one family better than the other, just different. :D

[justamouse]

It sounds like you did an amazing job, and if people want to judge based on assumptions, that's their problem, not yours. :grouphug:

[Sophia]

So....I'm saying this and asking if you would judge me or my daughter just by outward appearances. Why? Because I get the impression by people on here and by people I know in my private life, who do judge us because of what she wears. I can honestly say that I am so proud of my daughter and even more thankful to the Lord for the kind of person He has made her. Again, I'm just wondering.

 

I would encourage you to focus on this until you stop wondering if people are judging you or your dd.

 

As a Christian, I like to think my attitudes toward judgemental people has matured a bit. They are in need of God's grace just as I am in need of it in other areas.

[Jen in PA]

That sort of clothing wouldn't even register with me. It sounds pretty tame. And your daughter sounds lovely, by the way.:D

[Natalieclare]

I think it's important to remember that there is a difference between what people desire for their own children and what people feel when looking at someone else's children. What other kids put on their bodies doesn't matter to me a bit, but my own kids have to abide by my standards, at least while I'm buying the clothes. That said, both my dds styles drive me bananas. :tongue_smilie:

 

And what Patty Joanna said. And what Jean said. So to finally answer your question, no, I wouldn't judge you. :)

[Audrey]

According to what I have read, the judgers are in bigger trouble than anyone else. :0)

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Stacie]

I probably dress similar to your daughter, in more of a mom way. I don't like baggy clothes, preferring them to fit me in a more tailored look. I like lower cut jeans and layered tshirts. I wear flipflops and belts (but no rhinstones). Many of my friends and their daughters dress like me, as does my mom. When growing up mom always taught me to dress with your clothes fitted enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to show you're a lady.

[Random]

Nope. I wouldn't judge you. I do think we all project our personalities and attitudes via what we wear. I can't say one way is better than another.

 

But (and I hope this is received in the humble way I intend it)......

 

Now that I am a mom to sons, I am a lot more sensitive to what young women wear. My boys notice tight jeans and tight shirts (small or big busted), not because they are judging, but because even if the young woman doesn't mean for it to be, tight clothes are usually s*xy. I feel sorry for men and boys who are subjected to that kind of temptation all day long.

 

Just my .02 ;)

[dsmith]

I try very hard not to judge anyone, and your daughter sounds lovely!

[Pink Fairy]

Everyone has different standards, and somebody, somewhere is going to think that something is too much or not enough. That's just reality. And then there is all the judgement of people who do pass judgement. And so on.

 

I'm glad you are comfortable with what your daughter wears. My own dd's dress similarly, and they're wonderful people too. I don't waste a second of my time wondering if other people are judging them, because I don't think it's something worth caring about.

[Night Elf]

I wouldn't, but I have a dd18 who is very similar to your dd. I had my own unique appearance a while back. I miss those days.

 

FWIW, I learned a long time ago that anyone who judges me by my outward appearance isn't worth knowing personally. Their outward judging speaks volumes about their inner selves.

[unsinkable]

Would I judge you?

 

No.

 

But sometimes, when I see a young girl and I worry about what's going to fall out when/if she bends over, I do think, "How the heck did she get out of the house dressed like that?"

[TammyinTN]

I definitely wouldn't judge...after raising two teenage daughters and living to tell about it..that isn't on my radar anymore. I'm looking for what's on the inside..that's way more important to me.

[LostSurprise]

I'm not sure I'd notice your daughter or not. I'm not really into clothing so it would take a lot to get my attention.

 

However, I think people have experiences, and they form opinions based on those experiences. This isn't a bad thing unless people either close themselves off to the complexity of reality or open their big mouths and share.

 

People will judge a girl wearing tight clothing. The same way they will judge a girl with an ankle-length jean skirt and hair down to her butt. The same way a woman might feel nervous alone in an elevator with a big guy or a person who is often teased feels laughter from a nearby group might be about them.

 

Everyone has these opinions, these 'judgements.' The difference is that most of us have been schooled to keep our mouths shut. This gives us the opportunity to get to know people in a more complex way. Hopefully we do.

[TravelingChris]

Do many teens dress the way I do? No. Is that okay? Yes. There are some clothes that would make me think twice but what you are described seems like regular teen clothing to me. SOme of the least tasteful and most revealing clothing I see isn't on teens- it tends to be on mid Twenties to early THirties and in some parts of the country even older) with tops ready to pop out, super tight and short shorts, and often rolls of fat too. Not a pretty sight but not one I see that often on teens.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Today I'm wearing a fitted (not skin sucking) t-shirt and fitted jeans. My shirt today is up around my neck but a number of my t-shirts are "v-neck". I'm in no danger of leaning over and anything falling out or being seen.

 

No, by the sound of what you're describing it sounds like she's quite fashionable and smart. :) As long as I'm not seeing or afraid I could easily been shown body parts I don't want to see, it sounds fine to me. :)

 

I'm also not terribly in favor of lots tattoos and piercings but I also know it's no reflection of who I expect that person to be. It's just not my taste and I would prohibit my underage kids and discourage my adult kids from doing. However, if they go ahead and do it, I'd really want to see. :)

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Well, I wouldn't because she dresses the same way as my 18yo dd. Except for the rhinestone belt buckle. ;) My dd is also an honor student (at cc), dances pre-professionally, considers her younger brother her best friend, and has a boyfriend with whom she has decided not to engage in physical relations. Her decision, not mine.

 

I think judging someone by their outward appearances is stupid and shallow. Of course, I'm 50 and I also wear tight t-shirts and jeans and high heels, so maybe I'm the one being judged. Oh well. *shrugs*

 

I just want to know where she bought her rhinestone belt. That would sure complete my outfit (vintage batman shirt, trucker jacket and jeans)!:tongue_smilie:

[Haiku]

I might notice that she's a fashion disaster, as most teenage girls seem to be these days. I have a 16yo dd in public school. Some days she looks cute. Some days I would honestly be embarrassed to be seen with her. Occasionally I mention that something she is wearing is unflattering on her, and she has two pair of pants I will not let her wear out of the house.

 

As to why people judge what they see on the outside, well, it's because people have preferences about things and when they dislike something, they tend to judge it negatively. No one can possibly know all the good things about your dd just by seeing her, but they can think, "Fashion disaster, why didn't that girl's mother say anything to her?" Having a teen I know that telling your teen what to wear is generally an exercise in futility, but I have seen a few girls that made me wonder where their mother (or other concerned adult) was.

 

The way I see it is, some people dress like they don't respect themselves. If people get that impression from them, they are more likely to judge. I have a visible tattoo and an eyebrow piercing and am well aware that some people judge me for it. Perhaps they wonder to themselves where my dh is and why he didn't say anything to me. ;)

 

Tara

[delaney]

Probably not since the cleavage is not an issue because like you said she looks like most other girls that age. Thong underwear hanging out, boobs hanging out, pierced naval being flaunted....that I have issue with(the flaunt not the piercing). Heavy goth make-up I don't care for and may turn my head a second time to look. Sounds like she's find to me:)

[Wheres Toto]

Not at all. It sounds pretty similar to how my 16 year old dresses - trendy but not slutty. My dd also has double piercings in her ears, a cartiledge piercing on one side and a nose piercing with a very small stud. She's also a dancer, cheerleader, Honor Student, Peer leader....

[Julie in CA]

Well, there's figure-hugging, and then there's might-as-well-be-spray-paint. I don't think I'd even notice figure-hugging. Spray paint clothing bothers me. I always appreciate it when people dress in such a way that their attire doesn't distract me from their personality.

 

ETA: This might not be a popular thing to say here, but I think I'll say it anyway. Whether we like it or not, the way a person chooses to dress is a form of communication. The same is true of the words we choose to use, our body language, facial expressions. If we don't like the impression people come away with after spending time with us, there are some things we can do about it other than judge the other person as overly judgmental. If we are sending out messages that don't match up with who we feel we really are, and the other person correctly "reads" the messages we actually are sending out, and comes away with a mistaken impression whose fault is that? Is it the fault of the person who correctly interpreted the incorrect messages, or the person who was advertising something different than what was really inside the package? The fact is, people always "evaluate" other people, whether their "judgments" turn out to be kind or just or otherwise. It's a survival skill.

 

I'm not saying I'd negatively judge a teenager who dresses like a "typical" teenager--I'd probably just figure they wanted to 'blend in'. But I think there are "typical teen" modes of dress that express greater and lesser degrees of self-respect, and/or advertise differently the level of physical access a person is willing to offer others to their body. And it always impresses me when teens can manage to be stylish while also commanding respect.

 

This is exactly what I would have said, so I don't need to add a thing. :001_smile:

[Wendi]

Um, no. I wouldn't judge you. Would you like to hear a secret?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My son likes to wear a tail. Yes, a wolf tail (fake, of course). From Hot Topic.

And sometimes he carries a Gir backpack (not at the same time). We have gradually convinced him to keep the accessories with "personality" to one at a time. :D

 

So you will typically see him wearing a Pokemon t-shirt, black jeans, a knit hat, Toms shoes, and a wolf tail. Not my style exactly, but he fits right in with his friends at co-op. (They're anime/zombie/Minecraft nerds.)

 

Wendi

[Pretty in Pink]

Her clothing sounds decent to me. There is a huge difference between wearing skinny jeans and a tee, and wearing ultra-low rise, spandex leggings with a thong hanging out and the girls on display up top. I'd rather see facial piercings and a mohawk than a teenage girl's cleavage on display 24/7.

 

Your daughter sounds trendy, but not in a bad way.

[May]

Sounds like she dresses like many young ladies her age. No, I wouldn't judge her. I have enough on my plate with my two dds:001_smile:

[Margo out of lurking]

I consider my family to be very conservative in most areas of our lives and beliefs. But there are varying levels of extreme. My dd is also 16. She went through a period of heavy, dark eye makeup, and she (with permission) dyed her hair a darker mahogany color. She has a couple of (ear) cartilage piercings and leaned toward a more emo-style of dress. People (from church, go figure) have judged us based on those things. I really, truly don't care. Their opinions are of no concern to me, and frankly, they'd be better off concerned with their own children's hearts than what my dd looks like.

 

Dd wears one piece bathing suits (not that that in itself is conservative :glare:), and she does not wear short (2") shorts or backless shirts. She covers spaghetti straps with another shirt. Her chest stays inside her clothes, and her belly is covered.

 

That said, she wears skinny jeans and close fitting tops, almost always in layers (tank underneath, t-shirt on top). Sometimes the shirts are a little lower cut, but for heaven's sake, she doesn't need to wear t-shirt necklines all the time, and overall, she is quite modest.

 

You said: "I can honestly say that I am so proud of my daughter and even more thankful to the Lord for the kind of person He has made her." I feel the exact same way about my dd. She's amazing!!

 

Really. Who cares if certain people are judging you or your dd? You don't have to defend yourself or your dd's choices, and they probably aren't living lives you'd choose either. You aren't here to please them. God knows your heart, He knows your dd's heart, and that's the One who will be pleased.

 

I'm sorry that someone's made you question yourself.

 

:grouphug:

[HistoryMom]

I agree with the others who have said she sounds just fine, but that our family standard is a little different. Your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, but I cringe when I see 'tween girls wearing similar clothing. It's a fear response for me, not judgement.

 

We found out last year that an employee and long-time friend of ours been sexually abusing every 'tween girl he could get his hands on for years, and is now in prison. My heart cries for those poor girls, and I'm so thankful my DD wasn't in his target age range. Because of this, I can't bear the idea of her wearing anything that's not entirely modest. Of course, the girls' clothing (tight-fitting or otherwise) wasn't what drew him to them, but after this happened, I immediately bought DD all new, modest clothes. Even her new bathing suit has sleeves and shorts. As a good liberal (;)), I tell everybody that it's to reduce sun exposure, but it's really because I don't want her to show that much skin. She's a beautiful little girl, and every time some adult man tells her her cute she is, I feel like stepping in front of her and pushing him away. I know, it's not a healthy response at all, but I haven't figured out how to move past that fear.

 

It hadn't occurred to me, but this probably played a role in my decision to HS her. I hated how the girls in PS were started to act and dress older than they were, and I didn't want DD to feel the pressure to do the same.

 

That being said, I think once kids get to a certain age, they should be free to make their own decisions on this stuff: clothes, piercings, etc. I'll even drive them to get it done. But I probably won't pay for it. :)

 

Your DD is an accomplished, confident, and competent young woman. Tell the naysayers that it's none of their gosh-darn business.

[Mommyfaithe]

From what you described, it sounds like she dresses just fine to me. AND it sounds like you've raised a wonderful girl. :)

 

:iagree::iagree:

Sounds like she dresses like my dd's. I don't believe in frump....but I don't judge the dresses only, long sleeves in summer, buttons and collars to the top either. It just doesn't work for us.

 

Faithe

[angela in ohio]

According to what I have read, the judgers are in bigger trouble than anyone else. :0)

 

Yep.

 

We're pretty conservative, and nothing you said would make me blink, fwiw. My girls straighten their hair, and older dd wears slim jeans and Aeropostale t-shirts (which only come in "form fitting") many a day. I would let my older wear make-up, but she doesn't want to (her sister likely will.)

 

I think what you described is entirely appropriate at 16. At 10 or 11, probably no imho (though it still wouldn't make me judge you,) but at 15 or 16, yes.

Edited March 17, 2011 by angela in ohio

[WistfulRidge]

Nope, but then again I'm a huge believer in "dress in whatever is comfy for you that you feel makes you look good".

 

I get/have gotten a lot of crap from my mom because I tend to wear lower cut shirts than *she*is comfortable with. In reality they're not super low cut, but coming from a church that highly emphasizes modesty (I'm LDS/Mormon) even the itty-bitty peek of cleavage drives her to say "Pull up your shirt!" if we're together (it's much easier to ignore her now when I've got my own home/family). Modesty, for the right reasons, is great. I prefer skin hugging jeans because I look good and feel good in them. I like a little lower cut than my church might appreciate because a) having anything touch my throat or the inch or two below it sends me into a full on panic attack and b) I'm big enough in the booK department that something without a bit of a low cut actually makes it look like I've stuffed myself into a shirt that is a size or two too small, which I think actually attracts more attention than a tasteful dip of the neckline. If someone wants to judge me for the way I dress they're welcome to judge all they want and take it up with God later :p

 

That's the long answer. Short answer? Nope, no judgment at all. In fact, I'd probably be jealous that she can wear the big funky belts that I can't! (I love the way they look, but I can't stand wearing belts, lol!)

[simka2]

I took my family to concert last night with over 70,000 people in attendance. Many were teen/young adult woman who I thought were just beautiful!!!! Yes, I secretly wish I could get away with some of those outfits, but seriously I was not bothered by any of it...or the female artist in the leather vest and sparkly miniskirt.

 

There are so many bigger issues to be concerned about!

 

So, NO. I would not judge your dd or you at all. :grouphug:

[mom2scouts]

I don't have a problem with tight jeans and T-shirts for her age, as long as it's not very low cut shirts or very short skirts. I have four sons and when they got to middle school they started complaining about how the girls dressed. They found it distracting and embarrassing.

[mama2cntrykids]

Nope. I wouldn't judge you. I do think we all project our personalities and attitudes via what we wear. I can't say one way is better than another.

 

But (and I hope this is received in the humble way I intend it)......

 

Now that I am a mom to sons, I am a lot more sensitive to what young women wear. My boys notice tight jeans and tight shirts (small or big busted), not because they are judging, but because even if the young woman doesn't mean for it to be, tight clothes are usually s*xy. I feel sorry for men and boys who are subjected to that kind of temptation all day long.

 

Just my .02 ;)

:iagree:totally. Especially having a teenage (16) boy in the house who's hormones are, well, that of a 16 y/o boy. He definetly notices tight stuff. Sometimes I've seen him look away, sometimes...not. With my own boys (8 & 10 yrs), I will teach them the appropriateness of "bouncing" their eyes when the see girls showing too much.

 

As to your question. I too would get to know her. I'm just more concerned about my boys right now (being tempted that is). With that said, my dd (who's 4) is going to be another matter. I will expect her to dress modestly (no cleavage, skin tight stuff). I hate the fact that even at her age, I have to search and search to find jeans that don't show "crack" everytime she bends over. Drives me NUTS!

[ciyates]

Sounds fine to me, however being a mom to a now 15 yr DS , I do notice what girls wear more because he does. She sounds exactly like my former Mennonite friend's teenage daughter. I did allow my DS to dye his hair blue (team colors) when he made sectional cuts, so take what I say with a grain of salt.