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For smart-alecks: Why are you homeschooling?

Guest Dulcimeramy

By Guest Dulcimeramy,
in General Education Discussion Board

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kalanamak

kalanamak

Posted
Posted (edited)

Well, aside from the usual, it has occurred to me that my son would have a rough transition from "Ask questions, speak up if you disagree, correct Mama's pronunciation without a blink, be read to while you run in circles" to "sit in a chair for prolonged periods, never interrupt, don't ask 50 questions, and if we are doing math, do NOT pipe up about how the 21 lb water melon and the 3 lb squash are both vines." Sometimes we "play school" just in case I drop dead, he'll have some clue as to what is expected.

Edited by kalanamak
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theYoungerMrsWarde

theYoungerMrsWarde

Posted
Posted (edited)
so I can tell my husband with a straight face that all the boxes from amazon are "needed for school":tongue_smilie:

 

:lol::lol::iagree: These are all great! And avoiding lice and popularity? Absolutely!

 

I homeschool because we live in California and we can't afford to move :P

Edited by theYoungerMrsWarde
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GWOB

GWOB

Posted
Posted

... to prove to all other mothers that I am indeed a better mom

 

... so everyone will know I am in fact "that smart"

 

... because we think we are better than everyone else

 

... so I have a valid excuse to decorate with books

 

... to keep Justin Beiber out of the house

 

... because I am a cranky, ornery rebel who does things just to annoy people and make them question their own choices

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rockermom

rockermom

Posted
Posted (edited)

Because I hate it when kids socialize. It really makes me angry.

 

I also want to deprive him of all of the fun experience in school and keep him locked away... just like my family thinks.

 

... AND I'm hoping against hope that he has trouble fitting with others just like that guy my SIL knows.

 

Besides, I'm lazy and I might have to get a job if he goes to "real school".

 

 

P.S. He's MINE... all MINE... I'll do what I want with him. mwa-ha-ha!

Edited by rockermom
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WTMCassandra

WTMCassandra

Posted
Posted
Because I would spend the week in the principal's office explaining that dd didn't mean anything by arguing with the teacher, she just can't breathe without arguing.

 

This, but my DS, not my DD.

 

And it's an excuse to buy books.

 

And I really like being accused of joining a cult by my extended family. :001_huh::D

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Karen in CO

Karen in CO

Posted
Posted

I homeschool so I can make other people feel inferior.

 

I homeschool because I missed the deadline for registering them for school. Mailing the NOI is much easier than waiting at the district office to fill out all those forms. I mean, they make you prove you have kids and that you live in the district.

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elegantlion

elegantlion

Posted
Posted
Well, aside from the usual, it has occurred to me that my son would have a rough transition from "Ask questions, speak up if you disagree, correct Mama's pronunciation without a blink, be read to while you run in circles" to "sit in a chair for prolonged periods, never interrupt, don't ask 50 questions, and if we are doing math, do NOT pipe up about how the 21 lb water melon and the 3 lb squash are both vine vegetables." Sometimes we "play school" just in case I drop dead, he'll have some clue as to what is expected.

 

You know I've considered playing school too. My ds would probably curl up in a ball and whine if I made him sit still and be quiet, especially during math class. In the last few weeks there have been some doozies coming of his mouth during algebra. :lol:

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Dawn in OH

Dawn in OH

Posted
Posted

It's a great excuse for why I don't work outside the home, since you know, everyone MUST get a job, otherwise you are not a productive member of society.

 

I don't want to get up early and get four kids fed, dressed, loaded into the car and dropped off at all the appropriate day cares, preschool, and elementary schools and THEN make the hour drive to where there's a decent job.

 

So that I can sleep in, 'cause I'm lazy like that.

 

So that I don't have to help anyone with homework.

 

So I can slack on the laundry, since no one needs matching clothes and clean underwear for school.

 

So there's someone else to hold the baby while I read the WTM and mainline my 4th cup of coffee.

 

I have superiority complex. I like to make other parents feel like they don't love their kids because they send them to government schools.

 

And lastly, so that my children don't get sent to the psychiatric ward of a hospital without my consent for having drawn pictures of people in 16th Century England being burned at the stake for choosing the "wrong" religion.

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Lara in Colo

Lara in Colo

Posted
Posted (edited)

I homeschool:

 

so my children avoid YOUR bad parenting choices/examples

 

so only my tax dollars are wasted, not my time during a fundraiser as well.

 

because I'd have to buy living room furniture if there wasn't a classroom there

 

I can't let my children be more socialized than myself.

 

I would have to CARE about who is on the schoolboard

 

I prefer to conduct school with a vacuum, not in one

 

How would I feel superior to all the other mothers/teachers?

 

I wouldn't be able to hold this (how I gave up EVERYTHING for them) over the children's heads when they are older.

 

Lara

Edited by Lara in Colo
one more thought!!
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Tree House Academy

Tree House Academy

Posted
Posted

3. I don't remember any alternate paradigms. I am homeschool mother, hear me roar. When the kids graduate I have no idea who I will be. As long as I keep homeschooling, I am delaying that moment of forced self-discovery.

 

4. If I stop homeschooling I'll have to find some other justification for these denim jumpers I like to wear.

 

5. If I stop homeschooling I'll lose my excuse for being a pitiful housekeeper. As it is now, I can put a sacrificial and fatigued look on my face and tell my husband that, "It's omelets on paper plates for dinner again....you know, formal logic and algebra. Took all my time, but your kids are smart now. Sigh."

 

 

With some of those reasons, you'd better get busy making more babies (to homeschool, of course!). :lol:

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

Posted
Posted (edited)

I homeschool so I can count going to Incredible Pizza when it's empty for bowling and mini-golf as "PE" :). Oh, and keeping up with tickets and the amount of money left on the game card as math, too!

 

 

And a less funny one:

 

I homeschool because I want to educate my child-and, based on their behavior, neither the Memphis City nor Shelby County school boards can say that!

Edited by Dmmetler2
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Ravin

Ravin

Posted
Posted

Because my DD is NOT A MORNING PERSON and getting her up and going 5 days a week would be most unpleasant. I'm a very lazy parent. (This is also why I breastfeed and cosleep with my infants).

 

Because I actually like spending time with my DD, and with my work schedule I'd see her like 10 minutes a day otherwise.

 

Because the public schools suck.

 

Because I wanted to homeschool myself and my mom wouldn't let me. I get to live vicariously through my children this way!

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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

Posted
Posted

staying in the tongue-in-cheek tone:

 

1. to feed my addiction to buying books & post-it notes

2. to prove that I am a better mom who really cares about her kids

3. because I enjoy spending my nights and weekends planning lessons

4. to vacation whenever I want to

5. to micromanage my children in every detail of their life

6. to use my children as slave labor to clean the house and tend the garden

7. to show my superior intellectual abilities by teaching my children

8. because I'm too snooty to allow my children to mingle with the public school rabble

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Dolphin

Dolphin

Posted
Posted

I homeschool because

 

1. As a child my career choice was anti-social hermit

 

2. I hate mornings

 

3. To irritate my family and friends. (I am the ONLY homeschooler in the whole group)

 

4. because I am so lucky to live next door to a great school. I look at our local public school out of my window.

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Teachin'Mine

Teachin'Mine

Posted
Posted
Has anyone mentioned wearing culottes?

 

I also prefer to sleep in, eat bon bons, watch soaps, while the kid teaches herself Latin.

 

Oh cool - someone else likes to watch the soaps!!!!

 

Palmolive is really cool right after you squeeze it and all the bubbles come up. It's kind of like a lava lamp without the electricity. I've watched the bars of soap on occasion, but they're not nearly as entertaining.

 

That pretty much sums it up. Can't do that on a real job.

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Barry Goldwater

Barry Goldwater

Posted
Posted

...so the 15 pairs of pjs that all my dear daughters have are put to good use...

 

...to ensure there are EVEN MORE unsolicited opinions offered to me about the way we live...

 

...for the comedy material...

 

...because, "there's an awful lot that needs to be learned about earthworms." (dd no. 2, when she was 7 :D)

 

...to be able to guilt them into letting me move in with them, instead of going into a rest home, especially a crooked one...

 

...to ensure that their innate, God-given-from-birth curiousity and passion for learning isn't ground into a chalky, fine powder (whoops, sorry...too angry?)

 

...so that there's SOMEBODY competent in the future to get us all out of the mess we're in!

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caayenne

caayenne

Posted
Posted (edited)

I want to ensure my children end up codependent....we need a reliable retirement plan!

 

My in-laws are public school teachers. I waited over 10 years to find something that would truly drive them nuts! :tongue_smilie:

 

It's great fun to make the neighbors insecure by saying, "My husband teaches at the high school. Yes, it's a wonderful district. My kids? Oh, we homeschool."

 

Job security!

Edited by caayenne
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sewingmama

sewingmama

Posted
Posted (edited)

Because

 

My kids would have to wear Uniforms and the ones at the local schools are ugly

 

I love to sew my kids clothes and if they are wearing uniforms 5 days a week then they don't need me to sew for them as much

 

I would look pretty stupid playing in the sandpit and using playdough by myself

 

I don't want to find out for sure that I really don't actually have any friends when nobody calls me for lunch dates when the kids are at school

 

I hate counting down the minutes to when they come home again and wondering what they did all day only to ask them when they come home - so what did you learn today and they answer "nothing"

 

I wouldn't have an excuse as to why I am so forgetful and scatterbrained if I don't have a million interruptions to blame it on

 

I get freaked out if my house is too clean or someone doesn't mess it up 5 minutes after I've just cleaned it - it's just not natural :D

Edited by sewingmama
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KidsHappen

KidsHappen

Posted
Posted

Because it was so much easier than sending them to school. I hate school. It is such a pain in my @ss. Unfortunately, I think the 14 year old is lost to PS as she is doing very well there. On the other hand, it is simply too hard to send the 11 year old and I am making firm plans to reclaim her. :001_smile:

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Aggie

Aggie

Posted
Posted

Because our dogs really do chew up papers. And shoes.

 

I love seeing their precious little faces when I show them the books for a new subject.

 

I'm having a torrid affair with the principal. :001_wub:

 

Parent/teacher conferences are very long and involve chocolate.

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joannqn

joannqn

Posted
Posted
10. Because if I sent them to school they would be unpaid Teacher Aides. Enough said.

 

:iagree: Literally, my reason. I was one of those unpaid teacher's aides.

 

 

Plus...

 

I homeschool so we can spend the morning on a "nature walk" in the snow and the afternoon playing Equate.

 

I homeschool so I have an excuse do all those cool art projects from artprojectsforkids.com.

 

I homeschool so I have an excuse to do science projects I never got to do in school.

 

I homeschool so I can get away with reading children's novels I never got to in my childhood.

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