Do your parents and your in-laws know eachother?

[Parrothead]

My parents live in nearly the same town as my in-laws. They politely acknowledge if meeting in the market, but there won't be much social interaction any time soon.

 

Have you been able to mix families and become one?

 

ETA - Yes I know "each other" is not supposed to be a compound word. How I did it twice I'll never know. (Oh, sheesh! Overlook the rest of the typos. It might be time to shut down the computer for the day.)

Edited June 20, 2010 by Parrothead

[Impish]

Different provinces, at opposite ends of the country.

[Murmer]

Since my sister and I married brothers and my brother married my best friend, yes they all know and spend time together. My mom even did Christmas with my inlaws this year.

[Ravin]

They've met--I think my mom has met my MIL, but maybe not, and my mom joined us for a family gathering at my FIL's once, but my dad hasn't met any of my DH's family. But they live in different states and aren't even remotely close.

[dangermom]

Our respective parents only live a couple of hours apart, and we have frequently had Thanksgiving all together.

[Excelsior! Academy]

My MIL and Mom recently started emailing each other. It is totally creeping me out.

[plain jane]

I voted other. ;)

 

My parents and my ILs know each other but my parents really dislike my ILs and will not interact with them (they do love dh, however). Oh, sure they are polite and civil if they are around them but they'll go to great lengths to not be over when my ILs are and will not go to their house if invited, which is rarely anyways. I guess you could say the wish they didn't know each other. ;) Oddly enough, my ILs tell me all the time how much they like my parents and what great people they are. :001_huh:

 

Needless to say we don't do big family gatherings where everybody is present.:tongue_smilie:

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Have you been able to mix families and become one?

Um, I voted yes, but to this... no.

[smrtmama]

Well, they know each other NOW and are civil to each other when my MIL visits. My folks are doing a cross-country tour of baseball stadiums, so they'll likely stay w/ my MIL when they do the Cleveland Indians.

[Nakia]

We all live in the same county. My father in law has no other family other than dh, me, and our girls so he is included in all of my family's holidays/special occasions, etc.

[PollyOR]

We are all having dinner together this afternoon. My parents live here during the summer months and ILs always invite them over for dinner at least once. It is respectful and friendly. They enjoy their visits, but I don't think they would have ever been best friends.

[nukeswife]

I voted other because they met each other the day before the wedding and have seen each other a few times. My parents live in WI and my inlaws live in IA, about 6 hours apart, but I don't see any large family gatherings with everyone together coming in future.

 

My in-laws, although they'll deny it, seem to just tolerate me when we're together. My parents aren't fond of the way they treat me and the kids. If they must be in the same place my parents are civil.

[Carrie12345]

My in-laws (mil, fil, sil) came to my home to meet my family (mom, stepdad, siblings) when dh and I were first engaged. They were all at our wedding. They may have crossed paths when a baby or two were born, but I can't be sure.

 

I think that's the extent of it. My family moved to GA right before our wedding, and my in-laws live in NJ.

 

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm wondering if I should feel guilty for not having them get together when my family is up visiting. I'm not sure why. I don't even like to visit my in-laws unless I need to. :tongue_smilie:

[coffeegal]

It is impossible for parents and in-laws to meet when one set is deceased long before dating or marriage occurs. :sad:

[ccm]

They knew each other before my husband and I ever met!

 

My parents and future in-laws attend the same church while future dh and I were attending college in different parts of the country. We both ended up back in our hometown and met at church. Parents are now in FL and in-laws in NH so they don't see each other much anymore.

[MomtoCandJ]

Dh and I met through our moms, they went to school together so yeah they know each other.

[JoyfulMama]

Um, I voted yes, but to this... no.

:iagree:They know eachother. My parents send Christmas cards to the inlaws. My inlaws have invited my parents for holiday dinners if they are in the area, just as they have invited their dd's inlaws. But one big happy family we certainly do not all make. We can all be civil, and make it work.

[Renee in NC]

My FIL is in IA, my father in NC, and my mother in FL.

 

Both my father and my FIL stay at my mother's house (with her and her husband) when they come to visit us. My father and my FIL got to know each other when we lived in NC. We have had several "combined family" holidays.

 

My MIL died almost 8 years ago, but she knew my father and stepmother (and corresponded with my grandmother.) She did not know my mother.

 

This seems to be the norm in my family - all the extended families just get mixed together.

[JenneinCA]

No.

 

Certainly not now, my MIL died about a year ago and my FIL died over ten years ago. But even before that, no. My FIL lived in Guam. My MIL lived in Maine and then in Oregon. My parents lived in California and then in Arizona.

 

As far as I know the only time my parents and my parents in law ever met were the days right around our wedding.

[Firefly]

Yes. Fortunately the families blend well and get along... it has made it so much easier over the years to be able to spend time with both families over the holidays rather than always having to trade off.

[plain jane]

It is impossible for parents and in-laws to meet when one set is deceased long before dating or marriage occurs. :sad:

 

:grouphug:

[abbeyej]

They live far apart and I can't see them hanging out socially, but they are friendly toward each other and send cards on occasion, that sort of thing. I think mostly they appreciate each other as the parents for their children's spouses and the grandparents of their own grandchildren -- but I don't think they'd spend a great deal of time together even if they lived in the same town (except for activities relating to the grandkids).

[elegantlion]

My parents know my MIL, FIL has been deceased for 40 years. They live on opposite sides of the same state so they don't interact much. My aunt, who lives in the same city as MIL, has lunch with her occasionally. They met through us and have some similar interests.

[Daisy]

Hubby's parents are in Oregon. My parents are in Alabama.

 

They met at the wedding.

 

My mother tolerates my MIL's dumb spammy emails but other than that, no, they don't keep in touch and don't really know each other.

[TravelingChris]

No, my father died when I was 13 so he wasn't at my wedding. My mom and my p-i-ls were at the wedding but my mom died less than a year later. My MIL died 13 years ago.

[jillian]

i selected maybe. they get along great if they are forced together but they don't go out of the way to get together.

[AnitaMcC]

Have you been able to mix families and become one?

 

 

 

Nope... My parents and Dh's parents have never even met.

 

My Dh's family is in NY, my Dad/Stepmom/her kids/grandkids live in FL, My Mom lives in Indiana. We live in IL.

 

They all live too far apart and just never been able to meet... yet. Maybe at some point if things worked out and they all could come to IL at same time for something (grandkid graduation or wedding).

 

So far though, my Dad/Stepmom has only been to visit us in IL once since the kids were born and that was 11 yrs ago. Dh's parents have been out to IL only once... before the kids were born. My Mom lived with us for a little over a year and just moved to Indy end of May. But she never went to NY when we went to visit Dh's family.

 

I suspect that the next opportunity would be my niece's wedding... no date has been set yet, but likely next summer or fall of 2011. She will have it here with us in IL (we raised her). Her fiance's family lives here too.

Edited June 20, 2010 by AnitaMcC

[Jean in Newcastle]

They live 1000's of miles apart. They met at or right before the wedding. Whenever my parents have come to visit, my ILs have invited us all over for dinner or I have invited my ILs to our house for dinner with them. They exchange Christmas cards. They always ask about each other and pray for each other if there are hospitalizations etc. My ILs have never traveled to the area where my parents live, but if they did, I have no doubt that my parents would invite them over for dinner then. It is a polite cordial relationship.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My in-laws are not alive so no, my parents don't know them.

[bookfiend]

Our family is so abundantly blessed in this dynamic. My parents have always been welcomed by my husband's family. Since my Father died three years ago, they extend themselves to my Mom for every holiday and family gathering. They don't choose to socialize together apart from my husband and I, but they are still loving. I am ever grateful.

[Kathleen in VA]

My dad lives in Hawaii, my MIL lives here in Virginia. They met at the wedding, but that is the extent of their "relationship." Even if they were next-door neighbors, though, they would probably not be close - just two completely different worldviews.

[JFSinIL]

Since my folks are in California and in-laws here in Illinois, I think they have met maybe half a dozen times...or less.

[Tap]

I said other. They have been introduced but I don't think they have ever had even a 5 minute polite conversation.

 

I am not certain if they would recognize each other or not.

 

They lived less than a mile apart for many years but I don't think they met each other out side of dh's and my wedding 15 years ago.

 

I expect that they talked less than a waitress at a restaurant.

 

 

At my reception, my in-laws all disappeared to a back room at their house (mil insisted we do the reception there) and stayed there. My family was in a different room and since it was a private home, they didn't feel comfortable walking through the private area of the home to 'mingle'.

[Ellie]

Yes, they did. They liked each other, although this was in San Diego, and they lived in different parts of town and didn't see each other if Mr. Ellie and I were not involved.

[Mynyel]

No..and thank the Lord.

 

No way could my dh parents and mine get along. Wow....I get the cold sweats thinking about it.

 

Not that they wouldn't be civil but....well you have to know both sides :)

[TammyinTN]

Our families were only 5 minutes apart. I met my hubby when I was 13 and he was 16. We were best friends for about 7 years before we married.

[Julie in CA]

My parents know my in-laws, and they all get along fine, but they would not have sought each other out as friends otherwise. They do end up at parties together, and occasionally see each other at community events, and they visit pleasantly.

 

On another front, my oldest son and his girlfriend are planning to marry in a few years (and I fully believe they will). Girlfriend's mother is one of my best friends, and our families do lots of activities together, including social visits in each other's homes, church activities, etc. I don't think we could be closer than we already are, and if this marriage does come to pass I'm glad that my ds and future dil will have such great combined support from both sides. :001_smile: Holidays will be easy for them because we're all together often as it is!

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I voted other. Our parents have met several times but they live about 9 hours away from each other. They get along great and would gladly spend more time together but we are just too far apart.

 

This was one thing that I loved about our family growing up. We always invited both sides of the family for birthdays and holidays. I'm sure it helped that their parents already knew each other and my dad had been friends with one of my mom's brothers.

[gpsings]

No...my in-laws think they are way too good to know anyone from my family. They've never even met.

[Tess in the Burbs]

my father met them at our wedding.

 

my mom has had a few interactions but asked to never see them again years ago.

 

heck, dh limits his contact too ;-)

[mom4him]

I really think it depends on the people. My mom and dad were very good friends with some of my siblings inlaws and not so much with others including mine.

When my middle son married I had envissioned becoming at least more then acquaintances with his inlaws but after about 3 yrs I quit pushing the chain. His mil simply was not interested and it was taking a. lot. of. energy. on. my. part!!! We rarely even see each other any more. The thing that always puzzled me was we have quite a few things in common but she never seemed to 'need' friendship beyond her 5 daughters.

[Rosie_0801]

No, thank goodness. The inlaws have met my father once or maybe twice and that's it. In fact, keeping them separate has been one good reason for not getting married, in my mind. Dh would like them to be invited to my family Christmas, but if I did that, my favourite relatives wouldn't come so it wouldn't be my family Christmas any more.

 

 

Rosie

[elizabeth]

Our grandparents and great grandparents knew one another fairly well. My dh is 17 years my senior and thus, was also an acquaintance of my mother's. My brother in law had a friendship with my father. My husband's best friend was one of my father's dearest golf buddies. Small town. First generation immigrants who spoke the same language.

[Mrs Mungo]

I voted no. They have met, but they don't really know each other. They have always lived about 6 hours apart from each other and we've never lived closer (to either set) than a 20 hour drive.

[QueenCat]

Mine live about 1500 miles apart from each other, and we're halfway between them. They met the night before our wedding and haven't seen each other since. Will probably see each other when our kids get around to marry, which is likely to be a few more years down the road.

[Lakeside]

On another front, my oldest son and his girlfriend are planning to marry in a few years (and I fully believe they will). Girlfriend's mother is one of my best friends, and our families do lots of activities together, including social visits in each other's homes, church activities, etc. I don't think we could be closer than we already are, and if this marriage does come to pass I'm glad that my ds and future dil will have such great combined support from both sides. :001_smile: Holidays will be easy for them because we're all together often as it is!

 

What a blessing you all will be to them!

[Jenn in Mo]

Yep! We have both sets of parents and grandparents over for every child's birthday and they get along great. They don't really interact outside of our scheduled activities though.

[MamaT]

They know each other, but are not friends. My mil and fil came to my dad's funeral when he passed away and my mother went to my fil's funeral. My in-laws have done some really ugly things to my family, so my family is not really crazy about them. If they were all in the same room, I think I would have to jump out the window.

[sleepymommy]

It is impossible for parents and in-laws to meet when one set is deceased long before dating or marriage occurs. :sad:

 

Same situation here :grouphug:

[Holly IN]

I put yes. Now with that said: They are not close though. They do speak to each other when they see each other in town or in public somewhere. They do not hang out with each other. They have their own lives.

 

Holly