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The cake came - update in first post. Was Don't make your presents a burden JAWM

Laura Corin

By Laura Corin,
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Laura Corin

Laura Corin

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The cake arrived in perfect condition by mail.  If I was going to be converted to fruitcake, this would be it - very moist. However, it weighs 3.2kg, so it's a lot of cake. My friend loves fruitcake though and has a large family, so I'm hoping she'll take half.

My brother is coming for the weekend in March.

Edited by Laura Corin
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Laura Corin

Laura Corin

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10 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Oh no! I hope you feel better soon. Maybe you can get an Uber to pick it up as ridiculous as it sounds? Got to say it must be some pretty special fruit cake 😬

Thanks for the idea. He's been 'feeding'  the cake with alcohol, so it will be boozy and not dry. I've pretty much gone off the taste of alcohol as a drink, but this may be different. 

No Uber here - we live in the countryside.  A taxi both ways would cost around £140.

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Laura Corin

Laura Corin

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1 hour ago, marbel said:

Aw Laura, this sounds like a nightmare. Honestly I can't even imagine telling someone to meet me at the airport to get a cake because they don't have time to deliver it! You are such a nice person. Hope you feel well soon! 

My two brothers are meeting for lunch half way between their houses to do their cake handover.  It's also about an hour's drive each way, but a little less bleak than a handover at the airport drop off point. Eta and both brothers are retired. 

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Corraleno

Corraleno

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Can you ask him to just post it to you instead? I'd be tempted to tell him that your DH also has covid now and no one is available to meet at the airport, so he will need to post it. I hope you feel better soon, and that your brother comes to his senses instead of making you jump through ridiculous hoops for a "present" you don't want!

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bolt.

bolt.

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This sounds awful.

I don't know what's wrong with social conventions. Among family surely you can say, "(Reply to something logistical), and I was hoping you would ask how I am feeling. The covid is really uncomfortable, but hopefully it won't last too long. (Something else innocuous.)"

How are people supposed to meet each other's relational expectations/needs/hopes if we always shrink from so much as mentioning our hopes to one another? There's no data that anything is even slightly wrong. How can anyone respond to no data?

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Catwoman

Catwoman

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3 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

Can you ask him to just post it to you instead? I'd be tempted to tell him that your DH also has covid now and no one is available to meet at the airport, so he will need to post it. I hope you feel better soon, and that your brother comes to his senses instead of making you jump through ridiculous hoops for a "present" you don't want!

Yes, this! If nothing else, Laura's dh has been exposed to Covid and may very well be contagious, so if she doesn't want to fib about her dh being sick, she can just tell the truth.

I think the whole thing is insane -- who asks someone to meet them at the airport so they can give them a gift? That's not a gift; that's an inconvenience! 

I'm sure Laura's brother's heart is in the right place, but this is ridiculous! It's not even an actual visit -- it sounds like it's just a gift handoff.

Edited by Catwoman
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dsmith

dsmith

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6 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

Thanks for the idea. He's been 'feeding'  the cake with alcohol, so it will be boozy and not dry. I've pretty much gone off the taste of alcohol as a drink, but this may be different. 

No Uber here - we live in the countryside.  A taxi both ways would cost around £140.

You just reminded me of my dad - he took 'feeding the fruit cake' very seriously!! I'm not a fruit cake person, but it was delicious after being boozed up for a while. Feel better!! 

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sassenach

sassenach

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(((Hugs))) My dad is like this. He has multiple times just showed up to surprise us (he lives 8 hours away). He once took a bus in while I was in the middle of a full day of school (college) and I had to make him wait for hours at the bus stop. It made me feel terrible and resentful. 

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wintermom

wintermom

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So sorry you aren't feeling well, Laura.

I would tell brother you and your family cannot pick up the cake. He can courier it, or give it to another family member. At some point you have to look out for you and your family. Your brother will deal with the disappointment as a mature adult. You don't have to twist yourselves out of shape because of his wish.

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Harriet Vane

Harriet Vane

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11 hours ago, cintinative said:

I am still trying to wrap my mind around buying a plane ticket only to deliver a cake and fly back home. 

I don’t know where her brother is, but I wonder if it’s just a lot cheaper there than we think. Great Britain is small. Also RyanAir and other airlines often offer unbelievably cheap fares. 

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Laura Corin

Laura Corin

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2 hours ago, Harriet Vane said:

I don’t know where her brother is, but I wonder if it’s just a lot cheaper there than we think. Great Britain is small. Also RyanAir and other airlines often offer unbelievably cheap fares. 

It's about £100 return. Eta so about £50 each way.

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Ginevra

Ginevra

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I’m sorry. No advice, just commiseration. My mother and one of my sisters was like this. (Neither is alive now.) They would both get so focused on what *they* wanted to give/do, they were oblivious to how much inconvenience they were foisting on someone else. 
 

Sorry you have COVID too. That stinks. Hope you get better quickly. 

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cintinative

cintinative

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2 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

It's about £100 return.

I know I am hugely frugal, but this makes no sense to me. Two hundred pounds spent to go there and back to deliver a cake and see you for maybe an hour?  I would rather send something in the mail along with the cake and save the money for when I could stay for at least a couple of days.  I know for some people that is not a lot of money, but for us, that is considerable. Plus the time involved.  

 

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Drama Llama

Drama Llama

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16 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Get him to leave it at an info desk, then when his flight has left ring and tell them to share it with whoever cleans the loos.

There's no way I'd inconvenience myself or anyone else to pick it up to please someone who wants me to work harder than he is.

A long time ago, pre-911, I had a summer job at an embassy, and in orientation, the security officer was talking about how unknown items are treated as bomb threats.  He told a story about how they once got a parcel, from an unknown location addressed to a diplomat, that no one knew who sent it.  After the bomb squad blew it up, it was discovered to be fruit cake that someone's brother had purchased on vacation.  The brother didn't remember the employee's home address so he looked up the embassy address and mailed it to him at work. 

My point is that I can't imagine that an airport info desk in this day and age accepting a sealed gift, and if they did not freaking out when it wasn't picked up.  

Other than that, i agree 100% that the request is bizarre.  Laura should claim covid as an excuse for her whole household, and her brother can either cancel his (hopefully refundable) plane tickets, or put the cake in an Uber at the airport.  

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Pam in CT

Pam in CT

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Aww, Laura, may your recovery be swift.

On 12/15/2023 at 10:29 AM, Corraleno said:

Can you ask him to just post it to you instead? I'd be tempted to tell him that your DH also has covid now and no one is available to meet at the airport, so he will need to post it. I hope you feel better soon, and that your brother comes to his senses instead of making you jump through ridiculous hoops for a "present" you don't want!

This.  These are the exact circumstances for which God created overnight delivery servcies.

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  • Laura Corin changed the title to The cake came - update in first post. Was Don't make your presents a burden JAWM

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