Can we discuss pushing (in childbirth)?

[Ginevra]

Background: my niece had a C-section because hours of pushing did not bring a baby. (Mama and baby are okay now.) 

My births were not like that; I always felt pushy in the first place and my babies came with very little pushing. 
 

Do we know why some women stall or don’t feel the urge to push? (“We” = science/medicine) Is there usually a reason why they cannot just wait for pushy need to arise naturally? Does it never come? Does it increase the risk of fetal distress? 
 

 

[freesia]

I pushed for 3 1/2 hours. I did feel pushy, it just wasn’t effective. My next three were half an hour. I wish I knew why it was so long. I did exercises and everything and no meds. 

[Pawz4me]

8 minutes ago, Ginevra said:

Does it never come? Does it increase the risk of fetal distress? 
 

 

I had contractions that came closer and closer together for over 24 hours but I never really felt a need to push. DS's heart rate started dropping too low, so yes -- fetal distress was what lead to my first c-section.

[knitgrl]

I dunno. Only to say with my last child, I pushed, but my body was not helping at all. The contractions weren't doing a thing in that regard. It's only because there was a bossy nurse who commanded me to push that a C-section was avoided. Dd was born through sheer will power, which is seemingly reflected in her personality.

[Terabith]

I had epidurals with my kids.  My first one was induced, and I was so relieved when the epidural stopped the projectile vomiting induction started.  With my second, I requested an epidural when the vomiting started, but they checked me immediately after that and I was 9.5 cm.  I could have gone fine with that one.  I did feel pushy with both, even through the epidural, and I was able to push effectively.  I didn’t push for long with either but with my first, they had fetal distress and it was one of those “if you can’t get her out on the next push, we have to do a c section” cases.  But I think the prevalence of epidurals definitely hinder people feeling when to push.  

[alysee]

13 minutes ago, Ginevra said:

Background: my niece had a C-section because hours of pushing did not bring a baby. (Mama and baby are okay now.) 

My births were not like that; I always felt pushy in the first place and my babies came with very little pushing. 
 

Do we know why some women stall or don’t feel the urge to push? (“We” = science/medicine) Is there usually a reason why they cannot just wait for pushy need to arise naturally? Does it never come? Does it increase the risk of fetal distress? 
 

 

With my vaginal deliveries I always felt the need to push EXCEPT with my posterior baby. She was my 4th pregnancy. She was not in distress and I pushed for 3.5 hours and the doctor manually turned her as she was being delivered. 

[TexasProud]

Well, with my first baby, at the 24 hour mark I was pushing and pushing and pushing.  They finally got forcepts.  My poor son's face was bleeding and he has scars from the forceps on his face.  Also, probably caused some bleeding in the brain.  Really wish we had done  a C-section.

Second one, they induced me.  (First one my water broke and they didn't want me to go past 24 hours.)  After about 5 hours, I felt this intense desire to push and it took me like three pushes to get him out.  So easy.

Third one I felt the need to push and was pushing.  Everyone in the room was laughing joking and then the doc said, "Stop pushing." The whole atmosphere in the room changed.  I could tell something was wrong, but didn't ask.  My daughter was stuck (shoulder dystocia)  She did an episiotomy and out she came....  

[cjzimmer1]

I pushed for several hours with my second to no avail.  Frankly I could have pushed for days and it still wouldn't have mattered.  He was wedged in my pelvis so hard that when they did my c-section, the doctor had to rock his head back and forth to get him unstuck. He had grooves in his head from the edge of the pelvic bone. So positioning is one big factor of why pushing is successful and when it not.  My next 3 kids required minimal pushing (aka typically 2-3 pushes in total).  My last kid required concentrated  intentional pushing for quite a while.  Cord was wrapped around his neck so every time I stopped pushing, the cord pulled him back up and I had to start over pushing him back down the birth canal.

[Katy]

I’ve read woo theories about it but I haven’t seen any science. The fact is if the baby was in distress or the mom just begged for a section after making no progress, they’d give a section. 

[Heartstrings]

I had 3 epidurals and never felt pushy.  1 of mine the nurses had me do a tug of war with a towel to help me, the baby kept sucking back up in after each push.  That was with my biggest baby.  
 

 

I always find it helpful to remember that a LOT of women used to die in childbirth.  We’re built for birth, but it’s still a difficult, tenuous process that used to be a lot more dangerous.   C-sections are often life saving.  

Edited October 5, 2023 by Heartstrings

[knitgrl]

4 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

My last kid required concentrated  intentional pushing for quite a while.  Cord was wrapped around his neck so every time I stopped pushing, the cord pulled him back up and I had to start over pushing him back down the birth canal.

For the child I mentioned previously, she had apparently done somersaults in utero. She was breach at 8 months, but then righted herself by the next check up. I was admitted to the hospital after directly after a check up because her heart beats weren't high enough? (my memory is bad right now) and they were afraid the cord was wrapped around her neck. I guess it was just wrapped around her whole body because the midwife said it was the longest cord she'd ever seen.

[Scarlett]

I had no drugs but I never had that feeling of needing to push. They just told me to push and I did. I pushed for about 20 min and he popped out. 

Edited October 5, 2023 by Scarlett

[ktgrok]

There are a few different factors I know of. 

1. some women will have a "break" between getting to 10cm and getting the urge to push. This break can take a while, but it isn't something some doctors are comfortable with - they want baby out ASAP. So women who are 10cm are told to push when they really are not ready yet, or baby isn't low enough for it to be effective. Other doctors/midwives will let mom "labor down" for a while and often that urge does kick in. 

2. Position of both mom AND baby. If baby is in a funky position (head is crooked/asynclitic) the head may not be pushing evenly on the cervix, or may not be descending far enough down to trigger the "ejection reflex" and urge to push. Most midwives will have mom change positions and try to get baby to back up/go higher where they have room to straighten out and and then come back down again. Again, this is not in line with the "everything must move forward, never backward, and progress should be linear" attitude many hospitals have. Plus depending on how strong the epidural is or how strict the hospital is or how knowledgable the staff is mom may not be able or encouraged or even allowed to try switching positions to see if baby can get into a better position. BTDT. Have a c-section to show for it.

But also, the urge may be stronger or weaker depending on mom's position and how baby is pressing on her. And position can change how effective the pushing is. In some positions the pelvis is actually smaller than others. Laying on your back traps the tailbone for instance. 

3. Some women do not recognize the push urge when they have it. I didn't at first. I felt "grunty" but not some "need to push" that I expected. I WAS pushing, but didn't realize that is what I was doing. I don't realize I'm "pushing" until baby is almost out. In my first birth I was in a hospital, no one checked me after I thought I might be pushing because I was so unsure about it and because at least check I was only 5 or 6 cm so they didn't think I could have progressed that much that fast - and then I had a c-section. It wasn't until my next birth (at home) that I realized "yup, that's pushing! Dang it!". And only because I continued to do it harder and harder to the point I knew I was doing it for sure. (I still wasn't sure I was pushing at first...same for all my births - and all were unmedidated other than the epidural given right before my c-section)

4. Meds may dull the sensation. . 

But mostly, yeah, there is definitely a lack of patience to see if baby will move down more and trigger the reflex. Meds can dull the sensation. Positioning can make pushing less effective.

I think size of baby is not as big a factor - my 40 hour plus slow labor with eventual c-section because no one checked me and I was pushing baby was under 8lbs. My 9lb baby was 9 hours of labor that were pretty textbook until pushing, and then I pushed for about 30 minutes max. My 10lb baby was 10 hours of labor, and less than 20 minutes of pushing. Last was 8.5lb and maybe 5 minutes of pushing, only 3 real pushes. 

But, I tend to go slow, then fast, etc etc. It's not linear. First birth the hospital was not okay with that, and there was a real lack of competent care. Now I have adhesions sticking my uterus to my bladder to show for it. (and records that state my pelvis was too small....after my 10lb 2oz kid was born with a 15cm head I wanted to find my old OB and tell him off, lol)

[Corraleno]

I pushed for about 3 hours but DS was facing sideways and he was just totally wedged in there so I ended up with a c-section. And I had FOUR arms inside me trying to unwedge him and turn him around so they could pull him out head first, which I can tell you is an extremely freaky sensation!  The surgeon said "Sorry for all the wrestling, but he really doesn't want to come out!" When they finally got him out he was screaming bloody murder and he ended up with some pretty big bruises on his face and head.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Corraleno

[bookbard]

I would say it's due to the positioning of the baby. If all's well, the baby will come out. If they're in a weird position, they can't get out. I actually did feel the sensation of pushing (felt like reverse vomiting?) because my baby's head was pressing on the cervix, but due to her positioning, she was wedged and there was no way to get out. First c-section.

Second baby was huge and just didn't move an inch after a day of contractions. Second c-section.

Neither of mine were in distress though.

[kbutton]

I know someone with a cord around baby’s neck that had a lot of drama around pushing. She avoided a c-section largely because it wasn’t a busy ward, and they could give her attention and monitor really well.

I’ve heard emotional reasons can make a difference, but I would not draw a 1:1 correspondence. One person who said that was a birth instructor/doula/nurse saying it about one of her own deliveries.

I am 1/2 on the urge to push. My second was a precipitous delivery, and I hemorrhaged. That was the one I didn’t want to push—I felt like he was ripping my guts out on his way out. I labored almost entirely on a ball with him. He had mild respiratory distress.

The first one felt blissful to push out. I pushed through two contractions with him. He was very low when I went into labor (freaked people out the last few days of pregnancy), but he was coming out at a slight angle. It was agony to try the exercise ball. I had to alternate a leg up at a time on the side of the bed like I was climbing stairs most of my labor; it was very odd! I did change position to push. 

Edited October 5, 2023 by kbutton

[ktgrok]

7 minutes ago, kbutton said:

 

The first one felt blissful to push out. I pushed through two contractions with him. He was very low when I went into labor (freaked people out the last few days of pregnancy), but he was coming out at a slight angle. It was agony to try the exercise ball. I had to alternate a leg up at a time on the side of the bed like I was climbing stairs most of my labor; it was very odd! I did change position to push. 

I did find that I was in a different position to push with each kid, and usually not the same position that I was laboring in earlier. With my 10lb giant head kid I actually flipped over from hands and knees to on my back a few minutes before he was born - it was total instinct and flipping seemed to rotate him a bit and out he came. I had spent most of that labor in the shower standing up. I could NOT get in the birth pool or do anything but stand up until I started pushing and at that point went hands and knees until flipping. My 9lb kid I labored in the pool on hands and knees and delivered squatting on a stool. (sat too long on the stool though which meant blood pooled in my nether regions and I had a lot of swelling and bruising in areas you don't want bruised with that one, I should have changed positions a few times). With the last I labored standing up in the shower, then was half on the couch/half off, then pushed her out on my hands and knees. But she was so fast that was sort of more me trying to get back to the shower and not making it and just collapsing into that position and out she came before I knew what was happening. 

But yeah, different with each, and with each I was changing positions right up until they came out. I think if I were medicated to the point I couldn't move it would have been way harder. In fact, with my one c-section (where I was pushing but they didn't believe me and had already made the plan for a c-section) I TRIED to change position - I started to scramble off the bed and got tangled in my IV/internal heart rate monitor. I felt like an animal in a snare/net and it was the worst moment of my life - I literally ended up with PTSD from that birth and would still have flashbacks to that moment a decade later. Movement was THAT vital and instinctive to me in labor and while pushing in particular. 

I still think that had I been able to get off the bed and move I likely would have delivered him before they could get me up to the OR. 

[kbutton]

48 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

Movement was THAT vital and instinctive to me in labor and while pushing in particular. 

No PTSD for me, but otherwise, ditto. I couldn’t not do what my body said!

[ktgrok]

8 minutes ago, kbutton said:

No PTSD for me, but otherwise, ditto. I couldn’t not do what my body said!

Yup. Truly, I have no idea how women manage to have babies staying in bed most of the time, reclined. That was the most awful position for me. Hands and knees, rocking, walking, standing, squatting, etc. Those were tolerable at different times during the labor, but I had to keep moving/swaying/changing positions. 

[Katy]

4 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

Yup. Truly, I have no idea how women manage to have babies staying in bed most of the time, reclined. That was the most awful position for me. Hands and knees, rocking, walking, standing, squatting, etc. Those were tolerable at different times during the labor, but I had to keep moving/swaying/changing positions. 

With my last that was the only position I could stand. Terrible back labor. It was the only position that wasn't pure agony.

[DawnM]

Not sure.   I had a C-section after hours of pushing and him bungee-ing back up.   Second baby I just scheduled a C-section, I wasn't going through that again!

3rd and 4th were adopted, easiest labor and delivery ever!

[The Governess]

I’ve only had one birth, it was a natural delivery. My body took over and the pushing happened on its own, really. I was allowed to labor on my knees on the hospital bed sort of leaning over the raised head of the bed. My body just started pushing without any conscious effort on my part. Once that happened she was out within a couple of contractions. I do think that gravity helped my body do its job. She was a big baby and everyone was quite surprised at how quickly she was born. 

[maize]

I had long labors, and for some of them pushing (once I f..i..n..a..l..l..y dilated enough to push!) was absolute agony, as if the bones of my pelvis were being torn apart. 

Sometimes baby's head just doesn't fit through mom's pelvis.

[ktgrok]

2 minutes ago, maize said:

I had long labors, and for some of them pushing (once I f..i..n..a..l..l..y dilated enough to push!) was absolute agony, as if the bones of my pelvis were being torn apart. 

Sometimes baby's head just doesn't fit through mom's pelvis.

Ok, so not just me? So many women say they prefer the pushing stage, but I HATE the pushing part. HATE IT. I actually was 10 cm for a long itme with my big kid because I was trying to avoid pushing! Any position that put more pressure on my cervix and that made me want to push I avoided. Finally I got hungry and said FINE and squatted a bit, which I had been avoiding because it made me want to push, and yup, he was out 10 minutes later. It was so funny because everyone kept saying, "you just have to push, and then you will get to see your baby!" and I would say, "I don't CARE about that, I just want a pizza and a nap and I can't have those until this baby comes out!"

But yeah, I HATED that sensation of my bones moving apart. UGH. And with that big one at one point I had bad hip pain because he was putting pressure on a nerve bundle  - the hip pain was worse than the ring of fire or anything else- after he was born I had a numb spot on my leg for about 2 weeks from that nerve being pinched or whatever. I was fine with no medication for labor, but pushing? I would have LOVED a little something just for that part. It just does NOT feel okay. At all. 

[Lecka]

My oldest son changed into a posterior position (“sunny side up” or face up) and I broke my tailbone during the delivery.

 

Because he changed position as I started labor, and he had been in a good position before, they told me they thought it was likely caused by the shape of my birth canal.  
 

My second pregnancy didn’t progress and I had a C-section.  
 

With my first pregnancy I also didn’t start labor, I went in and got Pitocin as I got to 41 1/2 weeks.  
 

My second pregnancy was twins and the doctor didn’t want me to go past 37 1/2 weeks.  So I got Pitocin with them.  Everyone in the OB/GYN office thought I was going to go into labor before I got to 37 1/2 weeks, they were always surprised to see me keep coming back to appointments!  
 

Personally I think there’s something wrong with me and I might have died in an earlier era or without someone who could help me.  
 

 

[Elizabeth86]

I’m not sure about all this, but I’ve heard some women need a break before pushing or whatever. With my first 3 I had an overwhelming uncontrollable urge to push at 9. They told me to stop and I’m like whatever. The doctor ended up pushing my cervix aside to let me start pushing. #4 was a csection. With #5 I had fetal ejection reflex and I didn’t even feel pushy as he was flying out of my body. lol

[sbgrace]

I pushed for hours. My baby A was posterior and got his chin stuck in my pelvis. He crowned, but we ended up with a c section. The OB told me she had a mom on her 6th delivery with a baby in the same position as my son who also ended up with a C section. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel like less of a failure! 

[ktgrok]

23 minutes ago, sbgrace said:

I pushed for hours. My baby A was posterior and got his chin stuck in my pelvis. He crowned, but we ended up with a c section. The OB told me she had a mom on her 6th delivery with a baby in the same position as my son who also ended up with a C section. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel like less of a failure! 

Definitely not a failure - sometimes those kids have minds of their own! Or just get lost, lol. 

[Elizabeth86]

1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

Ok, so not just me? So many women say they prefer the pushing stage, but I HATE the pushing part. HATE IT. I actually was 10 cm for a long itme with my big kid because I was trying to avoid pushing! Any position that put more pressure on my cervix and that made me want to push I avoided. Finally I got hungry and said FINE and squatted a bit, which I had been avoiding because it made me want to push, and yup, he was out 10 minutes later. It was so funny because everyone kept saying, "you just have to push, and then you will get to see your baby!" and I would say, "I don't CARE about that, I just want a pizza and a nap and I can't have those until this baby comes out!"

But yeah, I HATED that sensation of my bones moving apart. UGH. And with that big one at one point I had bad hip pain because he was putting pressure on a nerve bundle  - the hip pain was worse than the ring of fire or anything else- after he was born I had a numb spot on my leg for about 2 weeks from that nerve being pinched or whatever. I was fine with no medication for labor, but pushing? I would have LOVED a little something just for that part. It just does NOT feel okay. At all. 

That’s wild you actually could even choose not to push. I can never hold back. It’s uncontrollable for me

[livetoread]

Both my deliveries were with a CNM and no drugs. With my first I waited about half an hour after reaching 10cm for an urge to happen, but never did. Contractions were coming hard and fast, but no urge. I ended up pushing during contractions because my midwife said to, and it took about two hours of pushing for him to come out. I never felt the urge. 

With baby two, I also never felt the urge. Same midwife told me to push separate from contractions because she knew it would go fast. It did - maybe 20 min after reaching 10cm. 

I don't know if I ever would have had an urge to push if I had just waited for one. 

ETA both of mine were water births in a large birthing tub, though I doubt that had any effect on me never getting a pushing urge

Edited October 6, 2023 by livetoread

[MercyA]

I labored naturally for 24 hours plus then couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. Wish I had just asked for one right away. Yay science.

Anyway, the nurse had to tell me when to push because I really couldn't feel when I was "supposed" to do it. I do remember saying at one point, "I feel like I need to have a bowel movement" and then everyone sprang into action. 

The doctor felt like I wasn't trying to push and said I was holding back. She was all like, "You're the momma, show the baby who's boss." Super annoying since I felt like I was doing the best I could and I knew the doctor was in a hurry to get to someone else. Plus that was NOT the right suggestion to motivate me.

I understand why my sister has her babies at home. I was *so* hungry and begged for food until they gave me a bit of jello and a couple crackers. My sister could eat whatever she wanted. After she gave birth, her midwife put a sign on the door basically ordering everyone to leave her alone for a few days unless you were there to work (do dishes, do the wash, etc.). Sorry for the rabbit trail...Katie talking about wanting pizza reminded me. 🙂 

Edited October 6, 2023 by MercyA

[Elizabeth86]

7 minutes ago, MercyA said:

I labored naturally for 24 hours plus then couldn't take it anymore and asked for an epidural. Wish I had just asked for one right away. Yay science.

Anyway, the nurse had to tell me when to push because I really couldn't feel when I was "supposed" to do it. I do remember saying at one point, "I feel like I need to have a bowel movement" and then everyone sprang into action. 

The doctor felt like I wasn't trying to push and said I was holding back. She was all like, "You're the momma, show the baby who's boss." Super annoying since I felt like I was doing the best I could and I knew the doctor was in a hurry to get to someone else. Plus that was NOT the right suggestion to motivate me.

I understand why my sister has her babies at home. I was *so* hungry and begged for food until they gave me a bit of jello and a couple crackers. My sister could eat whatever she wanted. After she gave birth, her midwife put a sign on the door basically ordering everyone to leave her alone for a few days unless you were there to work (do dishes, do the wash, etc.). Sorry for the rabbit trail...Katie talking about wanting pizza reminded me. 🙂 

That is not motivating at all.

[Paige]

I pushed for 3.5 hrs with my first. No c-section, but he was positioned weird which caused the difficulty. And first baby. I did feel the urge; no epidural. 

[Not_a_Number]

I couldn't relax enough to really listen to my body with the second baby. 

My first we did with a doctor who was very midwife-y, so she let me labor in a bath (which was not an official birthing bath, lol, just a normal bath), which was the ONLY thing that relaxed me enough to get me in touch with my body. And then I really felt in sync with what I was supposed to be doing and it just kind of . . . went. (They'd check on the baby with a portable device once in a while, but I wasn't hooked up to things.) 

My second, there was no bath, they'd occasionally let me get in the shower but with all the monitoring things it just wasn't relaxing enough. So then I wound up never relaxing enough and got an epidural . . . which actually moved things forward for us, because I was never going to relax the way things were going. 

I think I got the urge to push both times, with and without the drugs (although I got the epidural quite late with the second one.) I didn't feel it with the epidural as much, though. 

So from personal experience, I'd guess that the medicalization of birth does make it harder for moms to listen to their bodies and to know when to push. For me, the correct relaxing environment was totally not optional. (And I say this as someone who's to no end grateful to hospitals for making births so much safer.) 

[Paige]

I also remember, however, with my 2nd twin the urge to push was completely gone. I wanted a nap and a break, and they had actually given me baby A to hold (and who needed oxygen), but the doctors and interns kept screaming at me to push so I did it even though there was 0 urge or pressure or need. They were afraid she'd turn but I'm still mad. Luckily it was pretty easy. 

[Ellie]

Often, the mother should be in a different position than the one that most hospitals require; that is easy for doctors, but not necessarily the best for laboring and delivering. Midwives will often turn the mothers onto hands and knees, avoiding forceps and other interventions.

[Melissa Louise]

Hands and knees for mine, pushing just happened.

First baby it was maybe 20 min, second baby less than 5 min, third baby I got really fed up and honestly don't even remember it, cos I was tired and cranky and over the whole thing. It wasn't long. 

I was really lucky that I could have my babies in a birth centre, so no staying on the bed, monitoring etc.

Also v lucky that they were all a good size for me and in good positions. 

[kbutton]

3 hours ago, ktgrok said:

But yeah, I HATED that sensation of my bones moving apart.

Interesting. I think mine moved prior to labor. Baby was so low that I thought I’d see a hand waving hello. My hips hurt really bad the last few weeks of pregnancy with my first. I don’t think they ever moved all the way back either. ETA: I am also hypermobile—not enough for a diagnosis, but I have some fallout. My grandmother was tiny when she had her first baby—ten pounds. Her labor was three hours, and she said if she’d been told what to expect, it wouldn’t have been bad. I think she was hypermobile too.

3 hours ago, Lecka said:

My oldest son changed into a posterior position (“sunny side up” or face up) and I broke my tailbone during the delivery.

Ouch! I have a family member that never went into labor on her own either. Her labors were not fun either.

Edited October 6, 2023 by kbutton

[Melissa in Australia]

I had Picton (spelling) for the first 4. I remember arguing with the nurse with number 3 that there was no way I was going to push cause that part hurts. But I think the Picton did all the pushing for me. 

[BlsdMama]

It's fascinating. I birthed twelve children, all in a hospital setting, one was a c-section, eight were VBAC, six were without a spinal/epidural. I have relatively easy births.  Four were exceptionally pleasant (#7, #8, #9, #10) and what those had in common were providers who let me tell them when I was pushing out baby. In my experience, I didn't push, my body pushed, it was not an option to NOT push. Each of those babies were less than ten minutes of pushing. Often grand multipara will experience a less effective contracting, and my #11 and #12 were less efficient, albeit very short labors by normal standards.

I truly believe the hospitals tend to try to hurry the labor process and it's largely not beneficial.

[gardenmom5]

I had a c-section with 1dd.  Pushed, but little descent. It didn't help I had a caudal and couldn't get in a good position. Given how lopsided her head was/is - and the big blob of dried blood on her scalp the nurses were afraid to touch because they thought it was hers (it was mine), she probably was mispositioned in the birth canal and got stuck.  She was also starting to show signs of distress.
Even with 2dd I pushed with a squat bar, she was very slow to descend. . . She was also a stinker when it came time to crown. she kept retreating.  It was like she changed her mind and decided she didn't want to be born after all . . . . (side eye.  very glaring side eye.)  I had to keep bearing down between contractions (the only time I had an urge to push) just to prevent her from losing all the progress we made during the previous contraction.

with my boys my body was like "oh, this is what I'm supposed to do?" . . . . 

[Brittany1116]

Didn't read all replies. Was she induced? 

My first was an induction-turned-Ceasaren after 28 hours of labor, 1 hour pushing at exactly 40 weeks. I was told induction was often the start of a cascade of intervention that often led to sections. 

My second was a scheduled C when labs flagged me with Pre-eclampsia. This one was better emotionally but worse physically because he was early and transverse. 

[Brittany1116]

My mother only had natural deliveries. My sisters all had vaginal births (although one had subsequent sections). One sister had her first baby with 7 minutes of pushing. 

[Clarita]

I had epidurals with both of my babies and needed to be told when to push. A friend of mine gave me a book on prenatal exercises so I was good at pushing but I still needed to be told when contractions were happening. 

I gave birth at a hospital which would have let me labor in whatever style I wanted but I still gave birth on my back for both. My son I didn't have a choice because my water broke in a way where I couldn't retain much amniotic fluid so no moving around for me. My daughter came so quickly once everything started rolling that I didn't have time to get into any other position (2-3 pushes and she was out of there). 

[Laura Corin]

I had one epidural and one gas-and-air. I felt pushy both times. First was induced due to waters breaking then no progress. Both midwife-led deliveries in hospital, one in London, one in Hong Kong.

[Ginevra]

10 hours ago, kbutton said:

No PTSD for me, but otherwise, ditto. I couldn’t not do what my body said!

This was my experience too. I think the description above of “reverse vomiting” is apt. 

[Elizabeth86]

6 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

It's fascinating. I birthed twelve children, all in a hospital setting, one was a c-section, eight were VBAC, six were without a spinal/epidural. I have relatively easy births.  Four were exceptionally pleasant (#7, #8, #9, #10) and what those had in common were providers who let me tell them when I was pushing out baby. In my experience, I didn't push, my body pushed, it was not an option to NOT push. Each of those babies were less than ten minutes of pushing. Often grand multipara will experience a less effective contracting, and my #11 and #12 were less efficient, albeit very short labors by normal standards.

I truly believe the hospitals tend to try to hurry the labor process and it's largely not beneficial.

Wow! 8 vbac that’s awesome!! I’ve had 1 vbac and hoping for maybe 1 more. I wish it didn’t make me feel so nervous, but wow if you did it 8 times, that gives me encouragement. 

[Eos]

Full dilation and pushing might be the place of least convergence between different types and locations of practitioners.  The baby's head is helping thin and dilate the cervix but once it's gone the head has to do a specific set of rotations to align with the pelvis most efficiently.  The reasons this might not happen easily are many - head is tilted, baby is sucking its thumb, pelvis is narrow at the top, etc.  That's why upright positions, hands and knees and lunges can help during labor, getting the head to tuck and turn.  But at the pushing phase, many practitioners seem to think the cervix is open, the baby just gets pushed out.  Lots of c-sections happen during this phase for what they called deep transverse arrest meaning the head is slow to rotate and descent seems to stall.  Other practitioners are willing to wait as long as heart tones and mom's vitals are good, to let the two bodies work together to bring the baby down and into a good position.

 

Edited October 6, 2023 by Eos
I'm sorry if my post caused harm in its original form

[Elizabeth86]

14 minutes ago, Eos said:

Full dilation and pushing might be the place of least convergence between different types and locations of practitioners.  The baby's head is helping thin and dilate the cervix but once it's gone the head has to do a specific set of rotations to align with the pelvis most efficiently.  The reasons this might not happen easily are many - head is tilted, baby is sucking its thumb, pelvis is narrow at the top, etc.  That's why upright positions, hands and knees and lunges can help during labor, getting the head to tuck and turn.  But at the pushing phase, many practitioners seem to think the cervix is open, the baby just gets pushed out.  Lots of c-sections happen during this phase for what they called deep transverse arrest meaning the head is slow to rotate and descent seems to stall.  Other practitioners are willing to wait as long as heart tones and mom's vitals are good, to let the two bodies work together to bring the baby down and into a good position.

My perspective on emotions blocking birth is that for women who've suffered assault, the pushing phase can be truly awful.  For the majority of women, including plenty who've been assaulted, blaming their difficult births on their emotions is low-key sexist.  Women the world over are ridiculously good at giving birth given plenty of true support and space and more often than not, in my view, the baby's head position makes the most difference to her labor rather than "unresolved issues" or other new age-y mother-blaming.  Rant over.

The most interesting pushes for clients I attended: one had an 8 hour rest-and-be-thankful phase.  Fully dilated, zero urge to push.  Baby's heart tones were fine, mom was fine, we just waited.  and waited. and waited.  Babe's head was deep and transverse and just needed time to rotate and descend.  Eventually mom got in the tub and pushed her out in about 20 minutes.

Another having a second baby after a straightforward first pushed for a few hours.  We hadn't checked her at all but she asked me to so she could figure out more ways to help - she had been doing leg-up lunges, doula pushing in on her hip crests to open her lower pelvis.  I checked her and realized her pelvis is truly small and foreshortened.  So she pushed while I pushed backwards as hard as I could on her sacrum and babe descended, turned, and swooshed out, heart tones crashed mid-pelvis and quickly recovered at birth.

I attended a friend's twin birth as her doula and she had no urge after first twin was born, in fact she wanted a bagel.  She wolfed it down then pushed out Baby B.

I love this!

[Carrie12345]

I have a birthin’ body and (mostly) cooperative babies.  
1st was induced and with epidural, but I definitely felt pushy. It was only maybe 10 minutes and I was not all that prepared/informed of the nitty gritty details of birth, so I felt like I had no idea what was going on.  
2nd was a big baby and (pediatrician discovered later) cracked her clavicle. Still only 4 or 5 pushes.  
3rd was 3 pushes at most. 
4th was pushed early and fast. He was in distress and they were prepping the OR. (True knot and double wrap.)    
5th was a longer labor than expected, and maybe 5 or 6 pushes, also more than expected.

I could have had a hundred babies in the dark ages… except appendicitis would have killed me first. No one has a perfect body. 😉