Spryte Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 That’s really all. I need to return a call, and I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. It. It’s hospice, for my mom. Based on a sudden event, and I don’t feel ready. Sigh. Please tell me it’s the right thing to do. I’m having trouble with how quick this is all happening, and it doesn’t feel real. 50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 (((Spryte))) I am so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I am so sorry. Do what your mom needs. No one is ever ready. Praying for you and her right now. 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 OH I am so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs. That is a hard phone call to make. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Big big hugs, I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I'm sorry, @Spryte. Hugs from here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Oh, @Spryte, your post broke my heart. Sending hugs. I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I’m sorry, hugs for you and your mom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 It is okay to feel not ready, and queasy about it while also deep down knowing it needs to be done. Take a really deep breath, have a moment to quiet yourself, and then make yourself do it. I am so sorry. Many, many hugs. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I’m sorry 😞 hope you have the strength to get through what needs to be got through 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I’m so sorry. I don’t think we’re ever truly ready. Hugs to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 20 minutes ago, Spryte said: That’s really all. I need to return a call, and I. Don’t. Want. To. Do. It. It’s hospice, for my mom. Based on a sudden event, and I don’t feel ready. Sigh. Please tell me it’s the right thing to do. I’m having trouble with how quick this is all happening, and it doesn’t feel real. Oh no. Last I heard she was doing ok and had avoided Covid. Whst happened? 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
math teacher Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I'm so sorry!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 15, 2023 Author Share Posted March 15, 2023 13 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Oh no. Last I heard she was doing ok and had avoided Covid. Whst happened? 😞 She did avoid the Covid outbreak, thank goodness. She’s been doing really well, the best I’ve seen her in years. They got her meds stabilized and it was like having my mom back. And then she had a sudden episode two nights ago, became non-responsive and some other frightening things happened. It was bad. She has been very confused and tired ever since. She knows where she is, so she’s aware. She just can’t answer questions, her words are mixed up. She’s very “in the moment.” Having some pain, too. She’s on “comfort care” which means she stays in facility for care and doesn’t go to the hospital. (She destabilizes any time she’s moved, and we don’t know if she will come back from that. But it was hard to honor that wish and not say, “take her to the hospital!”) … So I don’t know with 100% certainty what’s happening in her body, but from her history — we think it’s an ongoing GI bleed. She’s always bounced back from these episodes, before. But this time seems different. Her doc has recommended hospice as a better option to keeping her comfortable. I just don’t feel ready. Her twin is coming up to visit in the near future, and some cousins that I haven’t seen in 20 years. I just feel overwhelmed. It’s been one parent after another for so long now. 36 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vintage81 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Hugs @Spryte I’m so sorry 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanin Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Oh no. Sending hugs. Is your mom the artist? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Sending you hugs and strength, @Spryte ❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Can the facility she’s in call to arrange hospice for her? You may just have to grant permission. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 That’s so hard. I’m sorry. Walking the downward path with our aging parents is brutal. My prayers are with you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I'm so sorry. It's really hard. Many hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 It is hard. But when the time time comes, and you know there is no real alternative, entering hospice is the compassionate move for all concerned. Best wishes to you. And hugs. Bill 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I am so sorry. Hospice is a really hard decision, but it can absolutely be the right one. Having said that, does Comfort Care mean no care outside the facility where she lives, or just no hospitalization? Is taking her to a G.I. an option? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 15, 2023 Author Share Posted March 15, 2023 1 hour ago, Kanin said: Oh no. Sending hugs. Is your mom the artist? Yes, she is. 😊 1 hour ago, Katy said: Can the facility she’s in call to arrange hospice for her? You may just have to grant permission. Yes, they made the initial call, and I just coordinate with them. 38 minutes ago, BandH said: I am so sorry. Hospice is a really hard decision, but it can absolutely be the right one. Having said that, does Comfort Care mean no care outside the facility where she lives, or just no hospitalization? Is taking her to a G.I. an option? Comfort Care usually means facility treatment only. Any trips out of the facility are destabilizing to the point that she doesn’t know who I am. Doc says each time carries a risk that she won’t come back from that, and recommends that she stay in facility at this point (unless I’m ok with her just being gone inside, which doesn’t seem like any quality of life, and isn’t what she wanted). They are doing the treatment formerly recommended by her GI, though, since this is an on going issue. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 15, 2023 Author Share Posted March 15, 2023 I returned the call. It wasn’t easy, but I have more info now, and feel like it’s the right choice. Thank you for the encouragement. It was needed! 34 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Prayers for you and your mom ((hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeLovePassion Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I'm sorry, it's a tough call to make. Thinking of you as you navigate this path. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 Huge hugs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted March 15, 2023 Share Posted March 15, 2023 I'm so sorry!! Praying she gets the care she needs and the support that will help you and your family navigate this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 It is never an easy call but hospice intake nurses are well experienced in this and can gently guide you Along 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I'm so sorry. But know that you making the call, or her having hospice care, won't make anything bad happen. It just means she gets better comfort when bad things do happen. If she does improve, and they are wrong, then they can kick her right back out of hospice. You making the call won't change if she improves or not. It just changes how well she is cared for. hugs. 7 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 You did it and you certainly did the right thing. Katie is 100% correct. Hospice can start and stop if needed. I I'm praying for y'all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I am sorry you are dealing with this. Losing a parent is not easy. It's been about 5 years since my dad passed, and there are times it still doesn't seem real/brings me to tears. But hospice was absolutely a wonderful experience for us/him. I wish you the same, and will keep you in my prayers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I’m so sorry, but I’m glad you were able to return the call. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Huge hugs to you, Spryte. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 I’m so sorry. Thinking of you today. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 Praying for you and your mom this morning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 16, 2023 Author Share Posted March 16, 2023 Thank you so much. I can’t find many words right now (shocking!), but wanted to say thank you for the support. It helps. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 16, 2023 Share Posted March 16, 2023 9 minutes ago, Spryte said: Thank you so much. I can’t find many words right now (shocking!), but wanted to say thank you for the support. It helps. This is hard. But so helpful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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