DawnM Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Guys, I worked in inner-city LA for 17 years. I have been to students' funerals. It is always sad. Always. But this is especially sad. These two were twins. The mom lost both kids at once. I can't even imagine. Car accident. Car cut in half from the crash. One died on impact Wed night. The other died late Fri/early Sat after being in a coma. Tomorrow will be a lot of grief counseling. It is going to be a. hard few days. 1 57 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I’m so sorry Dawn. That is tragic, for the family and community. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 you have my deepest condolences. what a shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Oh, Dawn. How horrific. I'm so sorry. ❤️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I’m so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Geez, Dawn. Life isn't letting up for you right now. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for that poor, sweet mama. Heartbreaking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimberly in IN Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Dawn, I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 How heartbreaking, Dawn.😢I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 how awful 😭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I’m sorry. I’ve already been thinking of you and wishing the best for your friend. I’m sorry you have even more pain. This is tragic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Oh, I am so sorry, Dawn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I can't even fathom! What an awful thing to happen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I am so sorry praying for strength and comfort for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Praying for you and the family. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 How sad, cannot even imagine the heartbreak. Praying for you and the students family. Also keeping Lillian in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I am so sorry. That is devastating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I am so sorry - my deepest condolences to their family and community, and also to you, especially as you help your students navigate this horrible loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Oh, that's terrible. I'm sorry. My peace be with their loved ones, and with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I'm so sorry. One of my daughters had a friend whose two brothers (but they were not twins) were killed in a car wreck while they were in high school. It was not their fault, although everyone assumed "teen driver," so it must have been, but regardless--it was so, so horrible. My sympathies to everyone involved. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 8 minutes ago, plansrme said: I'm so sorry. One of my daughters had a friend whose two brothers (but they were not twins) were killed in a car wreck while they were in high school. It was not their fault, although everyone assumed "teen driver," so it must have been, but regardless--it was so, so horrible. My sympathies to everyone involved. And even if it was teen error, what does that matter other than to pour salt into the wounds of a parent and say, "It must have been your kid's fault he died?" It is cruel. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Just now, DawnM said: And even if it was teen error, what does that matter other than to pour salt into the wounds of a parent and say, "It must have been your kid's fault he died?" It is cruel. Oh, definitely! I was trying to make the point that when there are teen drivers, many people will imply that they brought it on themselves. I definitely do not support that position. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I'm so sorry, Dawn. Holding you in the light. A student of mine died in a car accident not long after she was my student. It was just so tragic and senseless. I still think of her... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 50 minutes ago, plansrme said: Oh, definitely! I was trying to make the point that when there are teen drivers, many people will imply that they brought it on themselves. I definitely do not support that position. Oh, I knew you weren't, I was just commenting. So many have asked me, "So, were they out joy-riding? Were they drinking?" or whatever, implying the fault has to lie somewhere. Of course fault lies somewhere, but what does that matter when your child is gone? (that was my point, def. not directed at you.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 That's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for that family. And you didn't need any more stress with your friend in poor health. Hugs to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I can't even imagine that heartbreak. Prayers for their family. Hugs to you.. it's been an emotional couple of weeks for you already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral. Is that a new normal to have no funeral service? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 So awful, I'm so, so sorry Dawn. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 1 hour ago, DawnM said: They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral. Is that a new normal to have no funeral service? My daughter's friend's family had a funeral. The media even covered it. I don't think this is a new normal. Maybe it is family only? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 2 hours ago, DawnM said: They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral. Is that a new normal to have no funeral service? maybe they are not ready for the funeral? and are planning a memorial service for the future? waiting for out of town people? the viewing usually happens within a certain time frame, though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I think when a death is particularly tragic and unexpected, I suspect families may be more likely to keep it more private because it feels so overwhelming. Doubly so if the story has gotten media interest. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I'm so sorry, for you, for your other students, for the families left behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 So sorry to read this, I am holding you and their grieving family in the light, and also your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 7 hours ago, DawnM said: They just announced an evening viewing and no funeral. Is that a new normal to have no funeral service? I don't know if it's a new normal, but funerals can be prohibitively expensive. I'm so sorry for everyone touched by this tragedy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 So sorry Dawn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Oh, Dawn; I am so sorry. Prayers for this family, for you, for your students....I cannot even imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 3, 2019 Author Share Posted December 3, 2019 13 hours ago, Seasider too said: My first thought on no funeral is that perhaps they mean no public funeral. However, it could mean there will be no burial. I guess you could call this a trend, but something offered now is for a visitation with a viewing coffin (I imagine open casket), then afterwards the body is cremated. It feels traditional, but is less expensive because it requires no purchase of a cemetery plot and no casket. I am so sorry Dawn. When mine were babies I was in the local mothers of twins club. One of my friends lost her 4 year old twins in a car accident. I don’t know how she survived the pain of it. But she said it gave her peace to know that they left the world as they had come into it, together. Oh my goodness. How horrible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I’m so sorry. I recall student deaths really shaking things up for a lot of people, especially anyone close . Will the school have its own memorial assembly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 4, 2019 Author Share Posted December 4, 2019 It was horrible. Viewing was tonight. I can't even talk about it right now. Open caskets. Horrible. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 (((Dawn)))) hugs. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 (((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 8 hours ago, Pen said: I’m so sorry. I recall student deaths really shaking things up for a lot of people, especially anyone close . Will the school have its own memorial assembly? In our area, they stopped doing these. They don't want to draw attention to the deceased, because we live in an area with a disproportionately high amount of local teen suicide deaths (25% higher than national average). The schools here, put the time and effort into offering counseling and support for the survivors instead. Private memorial services, outside of school hours, are encouraged, and are often in venue that allow for a significant number of attendees. (family/friends/students/staff ) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 4, 2019 Author Share Posted December 4, 2019 19 hours ago, Pen said: I’m so sorry. I recall student deaths really shaking things up for a lot of people, especially anyone close . Will the school have its own memorial assembly? No, None of the schools I have ever worked in have had this. They have had moments of silence in the past but not recently. In LA 99% of them died due to gang violence and they didn't want to glorify that any more than the kids already glorified it. However, we are asking for any donations from staff for the funerals. Lots of students there last night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 4, 2019 Author Share Posted December 4, 2019 3 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said: How are true students coping? I know those accidental deaths can just feel so out of the blue. A friend of mine was murdered in middle school and I remember just feeling completely numb about it for three or so days. I couldn’t even cry, couldn’t really adjust to her being gone until she wasn’t sitting in front of me in choir several days in a row. Sometimes the coping and grieving is a bit delayed 😞 It is just hard, I am sure more grief will come out as time goes by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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