Is there any time for you in your life?

[mommyoffive]

Does anyone else feel like there is no time for them?  OR do you have some time that is just for you?   Not going to the store by yourself.

 

 

How do you fit it in?   

 

What is it? 

 

 

[HomeAgain]

I do.  Once a week I go out for coffee with friends.  I leave after dinner and come back after bedtime.  I told my family it was necessary so I didn't snap. :laugh: It's built into our weekly schedule which makes it A Thing, and not something given up lightly.

[QueenCat]

Even when my kids were little, I always found time for myself. And for couple time. That typically meant either trading off with friends or getting a babysitter. We never lived near family but that is not a necessity in finding someone to watch your kids. Including one with special needs. It was good for our family for me to have a little "my time" and for dh and I to have "couple time". We were definitely better functioning when we made sure those things happened. When the kids were little, my time wasn't a huge amount of time, maybe an hour or two a week, but it was definitely important to build in.

[JustEm]

In general, the hours between 7:30pm and 9:30 pm are mine. The kids are in bed and dh is still at work. I do whatever I want. I also make it a point to get out of the house by myself once a month. This is usually on a weekend. Sometimes I hope, sometimes i go to Barnes and Noble and read, sometimes I take the dogs on a long walk, etc.

 

My dh is very good about helping me find time for myself. The only time I don't regularly get time to myself is if it is dh's busy time at work, 50-60 hours. Then we focus on just spending our extra time together.

[Greta]

I'm not sure if this really counts as what you mean, but most of my workout time feels like "me time".  I do sometimes workout with my husband and/or daughter doing weights, so that's fun in its own way because I'm interacting with them.  But I go for long walks and runs, and I use a stair-stepper machine at my gym, and that's me time.  I either listen to music, or listen to a total "brain candy" type audiobook (like a period romance or something) while I do it.  So that makes it feel more indulgent.  :)

 

I set aside a little time for prayer each day, and it isn't much so I desperately need to increase it.  

 

I also spend too much time in front of the tv in the evenings.  My husband is an "early to bed" kind of guy, but I stay up and watch tv.  It is me time, but it's probably not the best use of it!

 

I need to socialize more.  I don't spend enough time with my friends.

[The Girls' Mom]

More so now than when my girls were small, since none of my kids are ever home any more!

 

It was so hard to get time for myself when they were little, and when I did I usually spent it either worrying about things I needed to do, or running errands.  I did get a chance a few times a year to get away with a friend for a short weekend to go scrapbooking and whatnot.  However, the daily grind seemed unending.  I often just included the girls in projects that *I* wanted to do.  

 

[Soror]

I forcefully take time for myself. I cut out things for my kids so I can have time. I clean less so I can have more time. I lightened my obligations so I can have even more. As the old saying goes if Momma ain't happy nobody is :) My sanity is now on the priority list.

[Guest]

Well, I've been sitting on my derriere all morning doing a whole lot of nothing when I should be doing housework. So, my solution is apparently to cut back on housework time in order to carve out me time. LOL

[happi duck]

When dc were little I made a point of once a week going on my own to a bookstore with a coffee shop. It gave me lots of options, sit and write, browse, bring my own reading, coffee sometimes. It was also a routine that could be no cost when needed.

 

Now that dc are young adults and homeschooling is done I am too adrift. I have realized I don't really like "me" time in big doses!

 

.

Edited October 15, 2016 by happi duck

[AMJ]

I take time to read books that I like or to come visit these forums.  Sometimes I'll bow out of our twice-weekly suppers with DH's parents to have some alone/down time.  I schedule my exercise into my day and treat it as high priority-wise as my kids' education.  I do NaNoWriMo every November.

 

I have relearned the hard way some of the costs of not getting enough me time, and not considering the long-term costs of not making myself a priority.  I had let my own time and my own focus on myself get sidelined because life just got too busy yet again, and I let it go on for too long.  I am now diabetic, and am FORCED to spend a lot of time each week not only exercising, but learning how to cook what I need to eat, when to eat and what to eat when, how to deal with the frequent need for insta-meals without resorting to starchy freezer meals, more frequent grocery shopping, lots more food prep time.  I didn't make time for careful eating and daily exercise before, and now I must spend even more time on these, and life hasn't gotten any less busy.

 

I changed my mindset, changed my focus.  I made myself a TOP priority, because if I do not I won't be around as long to tend to everyone and everything else.  Since I tend to work on things in projects (I like to concentrate on one thing at a time) I made myself an on-going project, like homeschool, and I make sure to spend time on the me project every day.  It's not always fun stuff, but I'm looking for ways to add the fun in.  One thing is I have my treadmill (SO nice to have in hot, humid summertime down here!) facing a window so I can watch the trees' leaves dancing in the breeze and watch the play of light across our street as the sun moves throughout the day.

 

And sometimes I'll just take a few extra minutes before moving to the next task to sit outside with a drink on a pleasant day, or watch the clouds in the sky, or stop to look at one or more of the pictures I have hanging in my house and walk by every day.  I'll stop to ponder when I can slow down for just a minute, and I'll take unscheduled delays and waits (thick traffic, long stop lights, waits in doctors' offices, etc.) as opportunities to just shift my pace for a bit, perhaps let my brain stop for a minute.

 

 

To fit in time for yourself you must first consider it as high a priority as taking care of the family, and then you must be determined to fit it in.  This is so hard to do when you have a lot of people always needing or wanting your attention, but self-care is so very vital.  I'm not sure I've been any help here, but I do hope you find a way to make it regular and stick with it.   :grouphug:

 

 

 

Edited to put in a missing "not".

Edited October 15, 2016 by AMJ

[mamiof5]

I try to carve it in. It's not easy. I try to get a massage or go floating every couple months or so? Scrapbooking, lunch or dinner with friends, or just watch a movie by myself. I was trying to go for a walk every morning, but the last couple weeks it hasn't happened, which is not good... that's also my main prayer time :(

[Laura Corin]

I exercise. One evening and one lunchtime I take yoga classes. Every evening after supper I walk the dog, with or without Husband.

 

When the kids were younger, I exercised when Husband was around, so that I could leave them.

 

I also sing in a choir one evening a week.

Edited October 15, 2016 by Laura Corin

[Georgiana Daniels]

My hubby doesn't get off work until 10 p.m. at the earliest. So my time is as soon as the kids go to bed until he gets home. I think it's SOOOO important to MAKE time no matter what, because moms matter too.

[ErinE]

My teens roam the house late at night and if I stay up too late, I'm not productive the next day. My alone time: I get up before anyone else and write from 4 to 6 AM, Monday through Friday. I've been doing this since May. Now I rarely sleep past 4 on the weekends so I get up and read Saturday and Sunday. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have time that is not scheduled but just happens.  So in the morning when I'm waking up, I spend some time here.  I will do a coloring app on my phone while waiting in the doctor's waiting room or while waiting in the parking lot for my son to come out from work.  Or I will sit in front of the computer braindead and playing Candy Crush Saga in the evenings.    I talk or text with my friends and family in brief bursts here and there as well.  Folding laundry time is often talking on the phone with a friend or sibling time.  I don't tend to have big portions of time when I'm at my best to actually do hobbies.  I do actually go out with a girlfriend for lunch about once a quarter. 

[Critterfixer]

Yes....but you have to figure out what you want out of your "me time" and really work to make it happen. For me, that means I have to schedule it to get it. I started when the boys were young with my exercise time. They could play in the house or out of it, but they had to let me alone so that I could exercise. I trained for and ran a few 5K races and a 10K, and my training was done on my driveway, keeping an eye on my kids while I ran up and down, up and down...

I have the same rules in place for my writing time. You don't bother Mom when she's writing, not unless it's an emergency. I even keep a sign that I put up when I am "off-duty" for the moment. This is usually 8-9 am, and also 6-8 pm during peak writing periods (I also do NaNoWriMo, and I need 2 hrs of dedicated writing time per day.) I started that when the boys were around 8 or 9, I guess. I felt it was important that they learn how to take time for themselves, and how to respect the time of other people, and not to be upset when someone they love actually needs a little bit of space. It wasn't always easy to help them understand that Mom really has to be alone at times, and that they also need to take time to think, dream and imagine things on their own. They seem to have taken to the idea. One child likes his morning walk by himself, one like to take hours in the evening to draw, and both of them are avid writers who like to spend that 8-9 am block writing while I'm writing elsewhere in the house.

I also found that sometimes I don't need "me time" as much as I need a day where I can enjoy my family without having to be in charge of everything. We try to take three Sundays every month to just go out in nature, where the boys can amuse themselves with water and boats, and all I'm in charge of is picking the destination and putting food in a box. DH takes care of the driving, and he keeps an eye on the boys while I rest and enjoy just being out and not having anything else to do. It's not exactly "me time" but it's time I need to enjoy Mom-ness without having to concentrate on the Momming part. And for me, that's as good as any vacation. I get to see water, rocks and trees, appreciate the sounds and the feel of the wind around me, and I'm always refreshed after a trip out. And I technically am not alone, but I have space to watch and reflect, and that's evidently what my recharging time needs to look like. We started the Sunday "rest days" about six months ago, and I should have done it years ago.

 

Edited October 15, 2016 by Critterfixer

[LucyStoner]

Yes. I am one of those moms who is shamelessly selfish about making it happen.

 

Besides exercise and a little work stuff, I make time for my own reading, a little volunteering and to meet up with friends for skating or drinking (ideally not at the same time!) at least semi-regularly. I have special needs kids and it's draining the the point of exhaustion if I don't get some degree of breaks.

 

If I had a larger family or younger kids though, I could see not being able to carve out the time. There have been stages of my life where time for me was much more limited. To all moms who can't get self care time just now, you have my empathy and hope that this is just a season of life.

Edited October 15, 2016 by LucyStoner

[lynn]

Yes.

[Mrs_JWM]

I sing in a Sweet Adeline chorus, so I have rehearsal one night a week. Even though it requires effort, it's so fun that it's definitely "me" time!

 

I've always made an effort to do the things that help make me feel like myself and not "just" a wife and mother - reading, time with friends, exercise, classes, etc.

 

Sent from my XT1049 using Tapatalk

[zoobie]

No. The age spread we have kills me. Someone always wants/needs something. It sucks.

[mathnerd]

Yes....but you have to figure out what you want out of your "me time" and really work to make it happen. 

This was the main problem for me because when I had alone time, all I wanted to do was unwind and sit on the couch and it was not sufficient to recharge my batteries. So, I decided that I would exercise in my alone time - my son attends a sports class every day. I drop him off and go and work out - it is a routine, it keeps me fitter and I get a break from the daily grind. 

[KrissiK]

No. There's not. I just accept this as a season.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes I do, but I only have 2 kids and they are old enough where they don't need me for every little thing, and I can leave them home alone.  When they were younger?  Forget about it.

[Soror]

It's funny - when my kids were little, I didn't particularly want 'me time'. Sleep, yes. Time on my own to do stuff ? Not really. I only started to crave it when they got older. 

I didn't either, didn't feel I needed it, or perhaps never considered the possibility all that much. By the time my last baby was 1 or so, it became a necessity for my sanity. It had been 10 yrs of giving everything, I don't know how some women do that 20+ yrs(or more). I guess just like some women thrive staying at home and some become depressed and need an outside job. I do have dedicated time each week for exercise but sometimes I just like to have time without having to do anything at all. I have quiet time in the morning before they get up and also in the afternoon too(we all go to bed at the same time so I don't have time in the evening except pillow talk with dh). 

[BrittanyM]

I don't have a regular set "me" time but I do head up a mom group that meets once a month to talk and share together so I always get out alone those nights and it's really nice. DH will sometimes suggest I go out by myself but that doesn't happen often and I don't usually feel like I need to get out alone too much. I'm good with just reading at home after everyone else goes to bed if I need some time to myself.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Garga]

I've almost always been able to find time for myself. When the kids were really tiny, a friend started a Soup Day every other week. We'd meet at her house with the kids. The kids would play and the grownups would talk each other's ears off.

 

Right now I grocery shop every other week and before I shop I get dinner by myself somewhere and read a book while I eat. I'm out, alone. I love that time.

 

And recently I've started going to the movie either by myself or with anyone who wants to join me on Tuesday nights. All the theaters around here have $5 tickets for all the movies all day on Tuesday (brand new movies), plus $2.50 medium popcorn. It's unbelievable! So, I go every Tuesday as long as there's something I can watch. I am happy going alone and if someone wants to tag along, that's fine, too. Once the movie starts there are no interruptions, so I don't care who's sitting beside me.

 

Those are my scheduled things. I also get together with various friends every couple of months. Sometimes it's a one-on-one lunch and sometimes it's a dinner with a group of 4 of us.

 

And every single day I keep my ipad by my side and watch shows on Netflix while I dress in the morning and when I do my nighttime routine (teeth, makeup removing, etc.), and when I walk on the treadmill. I guess the treadmill time is my time. I get up 1/2 hour early to walk on the treadmill.

 

Oh--and the boys and I tend to like to eat lunches alone. I hang out with the hive during lunch and they play or watch tv. We all like the little midday break from each other.

 

I feel completely satisfied that I get enough time alone. I didn't feel like I had enough until the youngest turned about 9, though. Up until then, they didn't like to give me any space during the day (like when I was getting dressed or eating lunch.). Now, even when we're all together, they're not demanding my non-stop attention.

Edited October 15, 2016 by Garga

[wendyroo]

If I had a larger family or younger kids though, I could see not being able to carve out the time. There have been stages of my life where time for me was much more limited. To all moms who can't get self care time just now, you have my empathy and hope that this is just a season of life.

 

This is where I am right now.  I have special needs kids and the list of absolutely necessary, cannot be shirked tasks fills pretty much every moment of every day...and night.  I mean, I have scraps of time to read and post here or file my nails or bake something yummy, but I can only give those activities 10% of my attention because I have to simultaneously tend to all the kids.  Occasionally, on the weekends, I can carve out an hour to clean or grocery shop all by myself, but that is about it.  Other times my parents take one of the more difficult kids for a day and I'm left caring for "only" the other three; if I can then get the baby napping and the other two entranced by ipads in separate rooms then I can buy myself an hour of relatively uninterrupted me time.

 

Wendy

[Murphy101]

Yes. What that looks like has varied greatly over the years. Sometimes it was just getting time to nurse a baby in the quiet after the other kids go to bed or early morning before everyone is awake. Sometimes it's a ladies night out. Sometimes it's just taking time to have a long chat with a friend on the phone.

 

I *could* go out alone more now that the older kids are older and the youngest (until baby is born) is 5, but it's very rare I do so more than once a week tops. The older kids have older kid things to do and I don't feel right having them babysit frequently. And also I enjoy spending time with my older kids anyways. Even when baby comes, we don't do sitters for our babies, she will go everywhere with me same as her siblings did when they were babies.

 

ETA: And though dh travels for work, when he is home - he helps tremendously. Other than breastfeeding, dh pitches in and does everything I do with/for me when he is home. So if he is home and need to get out, I can usually do that without worry or regret.

Edited October 16, 2016 by Murphy101

[Tap]

No.  And I won't have any free time, for a very long time.

 

I work 6 days per week due to dd9s special needs.  I have one week day off.  I work several 5 hour days so that I can be home at 2pm during the week, because she can always ride the bus due to her behaviors.  

 

We have 4 standing appointments (BT and OT for dd9, PT or Chiro/massage and Acupuncture for dd17)and it is common to have 6 or more per week.  In 2016, I have been to 120 drs appointments.  Most are 1hr but many are 3 hours long. 

 

DD9 does swimming, volleyball and AWANA (varied due to $$)

DD17 is a varsity cheerleader.

 

I am married but dh has little to do with the house and kids, so I am pretty much a single parent. 

 

 

On Monday, ds21 took dd9 to her OT and her Volleyball class for me.  IN that 3 hours, I cleared the garden and finished off the compost for the winter.  I took down the volleyball net for winter.  I cleaned up the back yard. And made dinner.  LOL  It was very productive since I didn't have anyone underfoot, but honestly, my down time is pretty much just doing normal things that moms do.

 

 

[Kathryn]

Not only is there no time for "me," there's not even a "me" anymore.

[Ottakee]

I try to get mom time every week. Y best times are kayaking or walking with a friend. We talk, we vent, we share, we support, and occ. we cry but that hour or so walk is priceless. I try to get that in a few times a week.

 

Dh is great in that he will gladly watch the kids and has taken over much of the parenting of our youngest foster boy who has very real struggles with a "mom" figure.

 

That means that in 2 weeks I will head 2 hours north with a close friend to stay at her house overnight and then the following day we head another hour north to man a table/talk with other parents at a Native American family conference. Dh will stay with the kids the first night and then drive up and I will stay with the him and the kids at Great Wold Lodge the 2nd night.

 

Two weeks later my friend and I are going to a conference in Chicago area where she will present her book for adoptive families. We will have just over 24 kid free hours.

 

Things were not like this though at all when mine were younger.

[DawnM]

Yes. I am one of those moms who is shamelessly selfish about making it happen.

 

Besides exercise and a little work stuff, I make time for my own reading, a little volunteering and to meet up with friends for skating or drinking (ideally not at the same time!) at least semi-regularly. I have special needs kids and it's draining the the point of exhaustion if I don't get some degree of breaks.

 

If I had a larger family or younger kids though, I could see not being able to carve out the time. There have been stages of my life where time for me was much more limited. To all moms who can't get self care time just now, you have my empathy and hope that this is just a season of life.

 

 

I have always done this as well, although not the skating part.

 

I get together with friends at least 2 times per week.  Dinner, coffee, etc....

 

When the kids were younger, we would either put them at a different table, or go to the park and let them run around.

 

We were good about, "Ok, you guys watch this movie in this room, dad and I will watch our movie in our room" when the kids were little and we didn't want a babysitter.    I have always been REALLY BAD about being able to watch kid TV or movies.  They bore the life out of me.  I didn't even like cartoons when I was a kid!

 

My DH has always known I need time with my girlfriends and is great about helping when I need to get out.

 

Thankfully the kids are teens now and don't need someone to watch them.   BUT, on the flip side, they need to be driven all over creation to get to their actives, so there is that.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It's funny - when my kids were little, I didn't particularly want 'me time'. Sleep, yes. Time on my own to do stuff ? Not really. I only started to crave it when they got older. 

 

I found me time was more trouble than it was worth.  I didn't want it to become something added to my list of things to do.  When my first was born my husband would often come home and offer to take over so I could go out.  Go out where?  What I wanted was to have some peace and quiet in my own home.  Or sleep.

 

It's different now.

[Soror]

I.  When my first was born my husband would often come home and offer to take over so I could go out.  Go out where?  What I wanted was to have some peace and quiet in my own home.  Or sleep.

 

 

LOL, same here, it took awhile for my husband to believe me, I finally had to tell him, just leave, please!!!

[zoobie]

Not only is there no time for "me," there's not even a "me" anymore.

I don't want to "like" this, but that's exactly how I feel too. :(

[SKL]

Unfortunately, more and more the time that I might be able to consider "me" time is spent sleeping.  :/  Of course, this is better than not sleeping!

[Guest]

(((you guys)))

 

I get enough time to not end up throwing deuces at these guys and screeching away in a Ford Mustang  with some hot piece of bad news.

 

I do get that. I'm militant about taking it. I read at night. I enforce a daily quiet time and a morning coffee time. I pray. I leave alone once a week if DH is not away for work. I keep up with old friends. I take walks. etc.

 

Time to really, really be myself? To go down the rabbit hole with my writing? To shower, shave, lotion up, file and paint my nails, dry my hair, go out and be a person independent of my little people? No. I don't get that. And I know some (many?) people think that's a really...I dunno, self-centered I guess....set of wants, but I miss it. So, so much I miss it. Particularly the writing.

 

There is no "getting up early" here. Not with these ages.

[Ellie]

Does anyone else feel like there is no time for them?  OR do you have some time that is just for you?   Not going to the store by yourself.

 

 

How do you fit it in?   

 

What is it? 

 

When my dc were little, it never occurred to me to have time that was just for me that wasn't going to the store by myself. I don't know why. Mr. Ellie and I were faithfully attending church, which for us 42 years ago was Sunday school, then church, then church in the evening, and then Wednesday (or Thursday, depending on which church) evenings. I sang in the  choir and was an interpreter for the deaf for several years. There was nursery for all of those, so for me, that was time just for me. Also, our dc had 7 p.m. bedtimes, which mean four hours of adult time, although not necessarily just-for-me time, because Mr. Ellie. :-) But it was adult time.

 

When my two dc were old enough (e.g., neither was nursing) and I didn't have to think about being home to feed the baby, I took a clogging class in the evening when Mr. Ellie was home to be the parent.

 

Eventually, older dd went to school, but I took her out and began homeschooling when she was in first grade, so I never made it to the I-get-to-play-while-dc-are-in-school phase of life.

 

And eventually, dds grew up and did their own thing, and so did I. I have now been an empty-nester for almost 30 years. I get time for me all day long. :-) And I've taken fencing classes, and hula (and am now teaching hula), and Scottish country dance, and I've been a background actor (extra) on a few TV shows and a movie. I also volunteer at church, and have been on the board of directors for a coule of  non-profits (and will soon be on the board for another).

 

Maybe if I had been a single adult for a number of years before getting married and having children, or had been married for several years before the children, such that I was used to doing all sorts of stuff for me, I might have felt differently. But I was 24yo when the first baby was born, within the first year of marriage, so I didn't miss anything.

 

I thought I might feel more restricted when I started homeschooling; turns out, though, that the longer we homeschooled the more I enjoyed being with the dc all day. I did prepare myself for being an empty-nester, however, by starting Scottish country dance class when younger dd was 13 or 14, and being on the board of a Scottish organization and whatnot.

[marbel]

One thing about "me time."  I found, and others have told me they have found, that the more I had, the more I wanted.  And that sometimes if the "me time" didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I would be more dissatisfied than if I'd never had it.  For example, I remember a mom's night out with friends where the conversation got stuck on food intolerances.  Two hours of talking about gluten-free and grain-free lifestyles was not much fun.  It wasn't even that I wanted to talk about me myself and I, but there was just nothing for me to contribute; at the end of the night one of them turned to me and said "wow, I guess that was kind of dull for you, wasn't it?"  Well, what could I say?  (I suppose I could have tried to turn the conversation but you know, 4 people all talking about the same thing, hard to break in.)

 

Anyway, all that to say... after a while I found I needed to enjoy the season of life when I was mostly home with kids and not search desperately for ways to get away from them.   And, they didn't have to be too old before I could enjoy taking them with me to, say, the library or a bookstore, where we could split up and I could look at my own stuff, or just sit and read.  

 

It's a bit easier for me than many people, since I have just two kids and they are close in age.  The time of no "me time" was pretty short, in the big scheme of life.   But I do know people who have lots of kids, and once the olders are old enough, they can be babysitters for occasional getaways. 

Edited October 17, 2016 by marbel

[QueenCat]

One thing about "me time."  I found, and others have told me they have found, that the more I had, the more I wanted.  And that sometimes if the "me time" didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I would be more dissatisfied than if I'd never had it.  For example, I remember a mom's night out with friends where the conversation got stuck on food intolerances.  Two hours of talking about gluten-free and grain-free lifestyles was not much fun.  It wasn't even that I wanted to talk about me myself and I, but there was just nothing for me to contribute; at the end of the night one of them turned to me and said "wow, I guess that was kind of dull for you, wasn't it?"  Well, what could I say?  (I suppose I could have tried to turn the conversation but you know, 4 people all talking about the same thing, hard to break in.)

 

Anyway, all that to say... after a while I found I needed to enjoy the season of life when I was mostly home with kids and not search desperately for ways to get away from them.   And, they didn't have to be too old before I could enjoy taking them with me to, say, the library or a bookstore, where we could split up and I could look at my own stuff, or just sit and read.  

 

It's a bit easier for me than many people, since I have just two kids and they are close in age.  The time of no "me time" was pretty short, in the big scheme of life.   But I do know people who have lots of kids, and once the olders are old enough, they can be babysitters for occasional getaways. 

 

I didn't really experience a desperate searching for me time. I enjoyed being with my kids. I also enjoyed a bit of me time once in a while. The mom friends I had that were the most stressed out were the ones that didn't have at least a little time to themselves. That doesn't necessarily mean alone but it does mean without kids, doing something you want to do. It might be a 30 minute walk and at some stage, a weekend away. Definitely looked different at different stages of their lives.

 

[lanalouwho]

I don't get a lot of me time. About once a week, I take the boys and meet up with my SIL. The boys play with their cousins and we chat.

Every so often, after the boys are in bed, DH will go out fishing. This is my only real me time. I usually take a bath, read a book, maybe do my nails. But I'm still 'on call' if one of the kiddos wakes up or has a bad dream or something.

That's good enough for now, and it's more than I get when DH is working long hours.

 

Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk

[lovinmyboys]

I sometimes think that people who say they don't need "me time" are actually getting it (though they may not realize it). They go to church and put the kids in the nursery, their Dh does bedtime, their mom takes the kids one Saturday a month, etc.

 

Other than when you have very young babies/children, it is healthy for everyone for the mom to have some "me time". Even nurslings can benefit from having a secondary caregiver (dad, grandma, aunt).

 

I currently get me time. I went about 9 years of parenting before I got very much, and I don't think it was good for anyone. During that time I didn't miss "me time" so much. What I really needed was a break. Someone else to deal with the tantrum occasionally or get up with the baby or bathe the kids or entertain them while I made dinner. We all survived that season of life. Now my youngest is 4 (and he is super easy), so it isn't too hard to get me time. If I am desperate I can always put them in front of a screen while I curl up with a book 😀.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I get up and exercise very early otherwise there is zero/zip/nada time for me. At this point in time every day is a headlong rush until I tumble into bed.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Or sometimes people who say that they don't get me time during certain periods don't have options that others have.  Despite MIL saying that she would watch my babies for me, I discovered immediately that it was not safe to leave them with her.  (I now think that she was showing very early signs of the dementia that she now has.)  I did not have any other family in the area and my friends all worked or lived too far away to help unless it was more of an emergency situation.  My first had special needs which meant that the church nursery was not able to handle him, though they tried hard.  This also meant that hiring a babysitter was not a good option for us.    Dh did a good job but he was working two jobs and was working swing shift for one of them.  So he was not a whole lot of help either.  I was not better than others who had options, nor was I worse than they were.  I just simply did not have options.  So I dealt with it because what are you going to do? 

[Farrar]

I absolutely do.

 

But... I have a dh who really gets it. I only have two kids who are now old enough to be alone and self-sufficient sometimes. We're financially secure enough to make all of that possible without me having to work a job on the side.

 

When the kids were younger, it was harder. And when I was still working outside the home that was harder. But even then, dh helped me make time. I know not everyone can. And sometimes I still feel harried and overwhelmed and depressed. And right now, I feel frustrated because I have a lot of "little times" - half hour here, half hour there, time waiting to shuttle kids around, time between lessons when I can't get up and leave or the kids will need help but I can't get enough space to concentrate. It's a weird phenomenon that I feel like I've really been struggling with for awhile. I feel like it's a bit mind-killing. I'd almost rather be busier and then be able to really take a couple of hours of down time or focused me project time. But I can't complain too much. I have a relatively good deal.

[Wheres Toto]

Dh has always been great about making sure I have time off from everything.   Over the years it's varied - I'd go to a book club, or just to hang out an Panera or the bookstore, or out to a movie with my oldest, he takes the kids for the weekend to visit his parents (although I tend to do a lot of cleaning those weekends, I also watch movies and eat crappy food).

 

I always have time where I can send the kids to their rooms and read or surf the net or color or whatever while still here at home.  I also can read or internet while they are at swimming lessons, Tai Kwan Do, or choir but obviously that is for a limited time period.  I've started taking a yoga class and they may be starting Tai Chi at our church and I may start a few other classes.  The kids are ALMOST old enough to leave home alone so that should make things easier.

[Guest]

(((you guys)))

 

I get enough time to not end up throwing deuces at these guys and screeching away in a Ford Mustang with some hot piece of bad news.

 

I do get that. I'm militant about taking it. I read at night. I enforce a daily quiet time and a morning coffee time. I pray. I leave alone once a week if DH is not away for work. I keep up with old friends. I take walks. etc.

 

Time to really, really be myself? To go down the rabbit hole with my writing? To shower, shave, lotion up, file and paint my nails, dry my hair, go out and be a person independent of my little people? No. I don't get that. And I know some (many?) people think that's a really...I dunno, self-centered I guess....set of wants, but I miss it. So, so much I miss it. Particularly the writing.

 

There is no "getting up early" here. Not with these ages.

Pretty much exactly this. I force time each day so I don't go insane, but the quality is low and the duration is short. It's so much better than nothing at all, but I'm just not in that stage of child rearing where I can really make quality time to pursue the things that define who I am and what I love outside of my wife and mommy duties.

 

But I'm not fleeing the scene of the laundry crimes, either ;)

[Donna]

I don't have regular time for myself but I catch a bit here and there. I work two days a week and occasionally have a cancellation and during that time I go to one of the area coffee shops and enjoy a tea by myself. I keep a book in my car for these times. Reading for an hour with a cup of tea is a quick pick-me-up.

[Shellydon]

Nope.