Seasider Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 DH is very encouraging about me getting "time off." I can fairly easily schedule coffee or dinner with a friend. But what I really crave is time alone in my own house. I thought today was going to be one of those days. Everyone was squared away between jobs and hang time with friends. But thanks to one person deciding to work at home all morning and another one getting off work early, I had exactly 12 minutes alone. I am really perturbed about this. (Ha, maybe that pre/menopause symptom thread is a big clue.) Anyway, I can't be the only one who feels this way. It's not like I'm going to do anything weird or crazy and need to be alone for that. I just want to not get asked a bunch of questions or feel like a fish in a bowl. I want to turn up my podcast or music extra loud and perhaps even sing along. I want everyone to just be out of my way. I want to do my own thing without distraction or the feeling that someone's waiting on me to entertain or feed them. Ugh. Worst part? The guilt I feel over the fact that this even bothers me. 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes! I love it when everyone goes away and leaves me here in peace! 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I absolutely need it, and I get it, and DH makes sure I do ever since the kids were very young. He takes them out for a boys night out once a week--tacos from the taco truck, maybe bowling. I get a few hours alone. Most weekends, he picks a day and takes them out for a few hours, just the three of them. I tidy, knit, read, and just relax. Alone. Very important to me :) 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Absolutely. I have a fantasy where DH takes the kids away somewhere for a week and i get to stay home by myself. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Absolutely. I have a fantasy where DH takes the kids away somewhere for a week and i get to stay home by myself. A week! Bliss! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I'm very introverted, but I don't mind when my family is here. I guess in part because my house is configured in such a way where I can hide. LOL So I understand in a way. I prefer being mostly by myself most of the time. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes. It is why I often stay up late at night all by myself. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 My dh takes the kids away for "Mom's Morning In" sometimes. It's wonderful! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes I do! Every now and then, DH takes the girls to his mom's and I get a blissful weekend all alone. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yup. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes! DH is out of town for the weekend, so I am halfway there! I've got some Redbox movies lined up, ready to go... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I get the whole house to myself when my hubby brings our kids swimming at our condo pool. However I get bored fast and end up going to the pool to people watch. I like my time for myself but in a crowd like the library, the mall, the park, the public busses. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes. I shouldn't complain because I usually get a lot, but our family logistics have changed this summer and I am not getting the time alone I usually do. Dh has learned that I need to not be touched or spoken to some evenings while I decompress. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes. It is why I often stay up late at night all by myself. I do this, too, but it's catching up with me. I really need to get more sleep. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes, absolutely. It's one reason I'm very glad to naturally be an early riser. Those quiet early morning hours saved my sanity when the boys were younger. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I love having my house to myself. DH takes the kids out fairly frequently so I have alone time. Last year he took them camping for a weekend so I had a nice stretch of time to myself for planning out the school year. He's planning to do that again, but we haven't picked the weekend for it yet. I was wonderful last year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 YESSSS! But probably for a different reason than most of you. I would love to be able to do some housework without getting a guilt trip over my work backlog, no matter what time of the day (or night) it is. But I saw this coming when I agreed to live and work with the same people. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 YES!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Definitely. I like alone time anywhere I can be comfortable and relax. In other words, going out to be alone often doesn't work the same rejuvenating magic for me, because I'm still around people and have to be conscious of what I'm doing and how I am affecting others. So, while I like to go shopping alone and used to like to go to the movies alone and stuff like that, it's not as good as quiet time in my own space. A close second is a hotel room to myself for a night or two. I don't mean one of those situations in which I'm driving a kid across a few states and stay over for a few hours of sleep wherever I happen to land, but a reasonably clean and pleasant room where I can hang out with no agenda for a day or two is almost as good as being home. Plusses are that I don't need to worry about cleaning anything, and there's a limit to the number of tasks on my to-do list I can reasonably accomplish when I'm not home. Minuses are that I don't have ready access to the book on my shelf I might suddenly feel like reading or the snack I might crave. And I have less control over the environment (whether another guest decides to have a loud chat in the hallway or hit the swimming pool right when I want to take a nap). So, it's not perfect, but it's a decent option when I need alone time. It happened that my son needed to be somewhere this past weekend from early Saturday until mid-morning Sunday, and the most logical way to get him where he was going and back in time for his Sunday afternoon commitments was for me to drive him and stay in a hotel nearby. I ended up at a La Quinta, hardly the lap of luxury and kind of not near anything else. And I took my dog with me, which limited my options for getting out and doing anything. However, I was really surprised by how nice it was just to hang out quietly in the room with the textbook I'm studying, the books I'm reading for fun, a TV I could turn to whatever channel I wanted and a bag of snacks. I napped when I happened to fall asleep, ate what I wanted when I felt hungry, and just generally did my own thing for 24 hours. It was really lovely. One of the compromises we made when my husband rejected my plan to move into a one- or two-bedroom apartment this time around (now that we're nearly empty nesting) and instead pushed for a four-bedroom house is that I got to claim one of the small bedrooms as my "office," allowing me to move my desk and computer out of the common area where they had spent the last few years. I allowed myself a small budget to decorate the room, too, and it has become kind of a sanctuary for me. This way, when my husband and/or son are watching a TV show in the living room or when they have their role-playing gaming buddies over on the weekends, I can retreat to my little space and close the door. Having this option has made a big difference in my mental well-being. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I have to have it too!!! Since I have little ones DH will pack up the car and drive them around or head over to his moms :) I love my peace and quiet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 This sort of happened to me when the kids were very little. DH would insist I should go out to get a break. That's not my idea of a break. That was when we lived in a house I could not hide in. Sometimes I went and sat in the library and read. That was tolerable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 We have lived in our current house for about 5 years. I'm not sure that I've had more than 5 hours to myself... But, I know that in about 14 years I will miss everyone tremendously. Sometimes, though, that just seems like a very, very long time from now. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes! I'd rather have time alone in my house than time alone in a hotel or something. No one to mess up what I've just cleaned. I can get take-out Chinese food & watch my own movie. Bliss!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes! I love it when everyone goes away and leaves me here in peace! me too! And... sadly, I have a bad attitude when they come back. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 me too! And... sadly, I have a bad attitude when they come back. I hear you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 All. the. time. My husband works from home, in addition to the kids being homeschooled. Someone is ALWAYS here. Just a couple of weeks ago, the stars aligned and I had almost an entire day all to myself at home. It was so strange and wonderful. My husband just doesn't understand my excitement when this happens. Last fall he was going out of town for a couple of weeks, and that weekend the girls were going to go away for a church retreat. 3 whole days of alone. I almost cried when their retreat was canceled. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I definitely do. I try to schedule it in twice a day - during quiet time and in the evening when the kids are down. If I'm having a rough day I'll turn on a movie for them and out on my own headphones in another room. I'm a bit introverted, so I guess it isn't a huge surprise, but I long for kid free time. My husband is very supportive of it :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I am the same way. For a long time, my husband encouraged me to go out, but he just didn't get it - it's not a break from home that I need, it's a break from people, but at home! It doesn't matter that my kids are older, either. They don't need my attention most of the time but they are always talking, making noise, looking for food, asking me questions, etc. Earlier this summer I had a few days when my daughter was away at camp and my son was working. That was so nice. Don't know when it will happen again though. When the kids move out, maybe? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Absolutely. I have a fantasy where DH takes the kids away somewhere for a week and i get to stay home by myself. This is my fantasy, too! Although, I'd settle for a few hours at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Oh yes. I love when dh takes the kids away for a weekend. I don't want to go somewhere, I want everyone else to leave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 This is my fantasy, too! Although, I'd settle for a few hours at this point. When I was about 7 or 8, we were planning a long family road trip to coincide with my dad speaking at a conference for work. It was about ten days long. My mom badly sprained her ankle the day before we were supposed to leave, so my dad took us all by himself. We had a great time (and a few more adventures than we would have had if my mom had been her usual more cautious presence) and I'm pretty sure my mom was the most relaxed I had seen her in a long time when we got home. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I have elderly in laws who live with me and a DH who works from home. Time alone in my house is only a pipe dream. But, one day I will be old and alone wishing someone was with me in the house. So, it all evens out in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes! I love it when everyone goes away and leaves me here in peace! I have a terrible thing to admit...I have not had alone time in the house for about 10 years. It's kind of terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Dh has learned that I need to not be touched or spoken to some evenings while I decompress.Oh my, yessssss. I just had this conversation with DH last week. ("DH, I love you...but if you don't leave me alone for a few minutes, I will become very scary...") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I'm terrible because I sometimes secretly hope DH is called out to the ER at the beginning of his night shift. :-/ When this happens, DS is heading to bed, and DH is gone for about 3 hours. And I get the house to myself until I go to bed. It's wonderful. But I feel like a horrible person for wanting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Yes. It's why I often stay home from church while everyone else but morning napping toddler goes. He naps and I do whatever! It's so quiet and wonderful! No guilt. DH then swaps with me sometimes...he likes it too. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 My kids got old enough to be quiet and not-too-needy during the day. Now DH works from home and generates noise ALL DAY LONG. He types, takes conference calls and skype meetings, listens to podcasts, listens to and taps out morse code throughout the day. Sometimes I can get them all upstairs and I can pretend to be alone for a few hours. ::sigh:: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I absolutely do! And I get it with some regularity, because I work from home and everyone else is in work or school or activities, but that's not the same as being alone NOT doing work, but just piddling, reading, enjoying the silence and solitude. In fact, I just sent the kids (DDs 19 and 12, and visiting 12 year old nephew) to a movie without me. I'll gladly pay for that to have a couple of hours to myself, in my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 yes. dh works from home (and even 2ds is working from home) . . . . dudeling could be so demanding - there were days dh wasn't allowed to talk to me for at least 30 minutes after I put him to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Tomorrow morning the stars will align: dh will be at his office (he works from home half-time), dd20 will be at work 10-4, and dd15 is away at camp for two more weeks. I will be alone in the house :party: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes. It is why I often stay up late at night all by myself.This is me too except now the girls have caught on :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 My youngest left when he got married 5 years ago. I am home alone all day 5 days a week. And I still love it when DH is out of town, which doesn't happen very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Once a year, and only once a year, for a week, I get 3-4 hours alone in my house every day. For a few years it was for VBS. This year I sent the kids to 5 different friends' houses (a different friend each day of the week) so I could clean under all the furniture without interruptions. One week a year. It's only 15-20 hours a YEAR. And for the past 3 years, my husband has been sick or had a doctor's appointment so he "took the whole day off" on that particular week. I get soooo frustrated and he gets his feelings hurt. Well, of course he does because it sounds like I don't want him around...but you know, for those 15-20 hours...I kinda don't want him around. :( It's not personal. It's just the only time I have all year to think my own thoughts and do my own thing. He doesn't seem to have the same need for alone time in the house. Does anyone else's DH need alone time in the house? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Above The Rowan Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 This has been an unexpected but welcome bonus to being divorced. The kids go to their dads place only occasionally (one week over Xmas, one week in the summer usually in July, and a few oddball long weekends here and there). But when they go - my husband works a typical 9-5 schedule so all day there are no kids and no husband. Just blissful alone time. The gods have blessed me and the kids are going for a second week witj their dad this week coming. Their week in July, we had a roof leak and major repairs to do so it just wasn't a relaxing break. THIS week coming, no stress just downtime. Sometimes I am thankful they have another home to go to once in a blue moon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 YES!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes. I always appreciated it when Mr. Ellie would take the dc with him to do errands and left me at home alone. :D Once, Mr. Ellie was away for a week for work, and both dc were at residential camps. I was at home alone for a whole week!!!!! Imagine my surprise when the house didn't stay tidy... :blink: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'm awake at 3:20am reading this post because I woke up and the house was quiet and everyone was in bed and I NEEDED to experience the peace for a little while. So yes. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 My husband is always encouraging me to have some time to myself and didn't understand that sometimes I want that time to be in my own house, with no one else. So, yes! As of late I've been taking a class in the city so I get about 5 hrs to myself of driving, surprisingly it goes by way faster than I thought- I blast the music and think. I tried audio books but then I have to concentrate on something else and I like just having my thoughts. I also get up early too, if I don't have time in the am I feel off all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insertcreativenamehere Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Yes! However, my DH works from home and our youngest DS has home nursing care 16 hours a day, so even if the three oldest are somewhere else, there is ALWAYS someone home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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