Is it acceptable to walk 1 mile home from a park at the ages of 10 and 6?

[Jasperstone]

Oh, this is my first poll! :hurray:

 

 

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/maryland-couple-want-free-range-kids-but-not-all-do/2015/01/14/d406c0be-9c0f-11e4-bcfb-059ec7a93ddc_story.html

 

What did ya think?

[blondeviolin]

There's a lot of variables:

 

Do the two get along well?

How many turns must they take to get home?

How familiar are they with the area?

How busy are the streets?

What sort of area is it?

Can I trust the children to be home at an appointed time?

If the 10yo were injured would the 6yo be capable and level-headed enough to find help or get home to get help?

 

If all of that checked out, I'd probably allow it.

[Ausmumof3]

Two ten year olds maybe but my six year old... No.

[Grover]

two ten year olds, yes.

one ten and one 8, probably

6 year old - I have a nearly 6 year old... she's nuts.  No. 

[Aiden]

It depends on the children in question, their familiarity with the area, their ability/willingness to follow safety rules, the area itself, the weather, all sorts of factors ... all of which the parents know those factors best. It's their decision to make. I do not think the state should have gotten involved.

[abacus2]

Other: completely reasonable for the 10 year old, but not ok for the 6 year old.

 

 

[EndOfOrdinary]

I walked across the country (literally) with my 7 year old. I wouldn't blink twice at a mile to the park at six. He would walk that far to meet his friend at six and call me from the friend's house to tell me he got there. It was very nerve wracking at first because I would conjure up every bad thing possible, but in reality I was just borrowing stress.

 

A mile is less than a half hour at an average pace for a six year old if they know how to walk. That used to be the standard distance to a bus stop. Our perceptions of danger have just changed. By six a kid should be able to handle packing a snack, water, a phone, appropriate clothing and going down the road 25 minutes away.

 

Whether this kid could handle it, I do not know. It is not outside the realm of reasonable possibility. It just makes people uncomfortable.

[elegantlion]

I like the idea of free range, but I'm not. I voted other as I think six is too young, even with a sibling. Plus, part of my criteria would be my child being able to advocate for themselves even with authority figures.plus have a cell phone. I'm tired, didn't read if they had one or not.

 

My son was small for age at ten and fairly nonassertive. He never wanted to be free range, we also lived near a busy street in an area of bad drivers.

[maize]

In our area it seems to be common for children those ages to walk to and from school if they live a mile away.

[Laura Corin]

I walked home alone from school from the age of 7.  If the area doesn't have specific dangers or difficult roads to cross, I'm fine with it, if the parents judge that their children are ready for it.

 

I would not have let my two boys walk home when they were those ages because Hobbes was very unpredictable; if both children had been like Calvin, I would have let them.

[lailasmum]

I think it depends upon the area. Where I live 10yr old yes, 6 yr old no but my 6 yr old is not sensible. 

[MrsRobinson]

I picked other. I think it would be too far for my 6 year old. She can fend for herself quite a bit within the home but not outside it yet. Its not something that is totally crazy though. Seems like an over-reaction.

[kiwik]

It depends entirely on where you live and what your kids are like. My 5 year old is more responsible than my 7 year old. At the moment I let them play across the road by themselves (well with other kids) for 10 to 15 minutes. I am mostly worried about ds7 trying to climb, jump or bike in a more risky way than his normal lunacy.

 

Eta to add I walked to school from about 6 and biked from 8 but it would be incorrect to say I was alone - there were always other kids on the way to school and the older ones looked out for the younger and there were a couple of houses. I knew who lived in the houses and they would have known my parents or grandparents. The logging trucks were large and fast but I don't remember them scaring me. I can't be botheted fixing the errors, sorry.

[Caroline]

Not on Georgia Avenue in Siver Springs. That is an incredibly large (4-6 lanes), busy (main thoroughfare into DC), some sketchy places road. Here? I do it all the time. We have bike paths to our park.

[DawnM]

I vote no.

 

Where we live there are not sidewalks, so they would be walking along a 2 lane highway where the speed limit is 50.

 

However, where we lived before, there were sidewalks, but they would have to cross quite a few streets, and that would make me very nervous.

 

I honestly can't think of a situation where I would feel entirely comfortable with them going that far.  A block or two, maybe, but probably not.

[Lisbeth]

If communities want to get serious and quit allowing registered sex offenders to live among us, (as an example) maybe. Until then, absolutely no. I love the idea of free range childhoods, but I think crime stats have gone down because parents are more careful. Not because things are safer.

[wintermom]

I think the 10 year old is too young to have responsibility for themself and a 6 year old. I think the 6 year old is too young to be with a 10 year old as the only supervisor. I also believe the distance is too far in any setting, city or country. My dh and I tell our children repeatedly that it is not necessarily them that are the problem, but the drivers and other people out and about. We have no control over that, and to be completely honest, how much do we as parent REALLY know how our 10 or 6 year old children are going to react in a difficult situation? There is a lot of mental and physical development necessarily to navigate roads, crossings, potential injuries, sibling disagreements, etc. that can occur.  I agree with the police and CPS on this one.

[lmrich]

Not from the park near me. I do not think I would allow a 6 year old to walk that with a 10 year old. With me or a  responsible person, not a problem. I let my 6 year old ride his bike around the lake at the campground about 1 mile with a friend. They took walkie talkies, and there were a few spots where I could see them ride past. But I would not do it in the city/suburban area where I live: too many cars and even a few stray dogs would frighten a 6 year old. 

[regentrude]

As pp  already pointed out, it depends on too many factors give give an easy answer.

My biggest fear (aside from traffic) would be busybodies who think it is irresponsible.

Back home, every child is expected to walk to school at age 6 - so apparently elsewhere in the world, 6 year olds are capable of walking a mile and crossing streets. But then, communities are also arranged in a way to make that feasible, for example by having side walks and street crossings.

[DawnM]

I walked across the country (literally) with my 7 year old. I wouldn't blink twice at a mile to the park at six. He would walk that far to meet his friend at six and call me from the friend's house to tell me he got there. It was very nerve wracking at first because I would conjure up every bad thing possible, but in reality I was just borrowing stress.

 

A mile is less than a half hour at an average pace for a six year old if they know how to walk. That used to be the standard distance to a bus stop. Our perceptions of danger have just changed. By six a kid should be able to handle packing a snack, water, a phone, appropriate clothing and going down the road 25 minutes away.

 

Whether this kid could handle it, I do not know. It is not outside the realm of reasonable possibility. It just makes people uncomfortable.

 

What do you mean?  You backpacked across the country walking from one coast to the other?

[MEmama]

I walked nearly that distance to my BFF's house all the time at 6. So yeah, I'd vote why not?

Of course it depends on the kid, but I tend to think kids are capable of WAY more than our generation gives them credit for.

[MEmama]

In our area it seems to be common for children those ages to walk to and from school if they live a mile away.

Here too. It's hard to imagine it any other way. Sad. :(

[catz]

I would not have allowed this at 10 and 6 for my kids. My dd at 6 thought she was 10. She would not listen to her older sibling. Boy was very responsible on his own, but not ready to be in charge of a defiant little kid. My 10 year old and another 10 year old? Possibly. Depending on destination. That said, I do think it is ridiculous that are investigations and criminal charges in cases like this without other things going on. There are so many factors at play in terms of location, kid's personalities,etc. I have a friend that sends her 10 and 6 year old into the grocery store while she watches.

 

Eta. Young kids here walk to school all the time in my neighborhood.

[Carrie12345]

There are definitely situations in which I would find it irresponsible.  Not in my childhood, not in my kids' childhoods, but hypotheticals.
I'd let my 11yo take my 4yo if we had a park nearby our actual home in our actual neighborhood.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I agree with too many variables.  Probably the biggest concern I'd have is just busybodies like Regentrude said. 

 

Where I live it's a bit rough so I wouldn't feel comfortable.  For example, once I was at the park and a boy tried to take my son's bike while I was right there.  I see a lot of kids by themselves at the park and it does strike me as rather neglectful because often I've been asked for money, food, and rides.  

 

Growing up I walked to and from school alone starting at 5 and it was about a mile each way.  Although we did have crossing guards.  My mother still would not have let me go to the park at that age alone.  But really because the park was just a little too separated from civilization.  And that was back in the day before anything like cell phones. 

 

I also would not leave a 10 year old home alone to watch a 6 year old.  So I guess if I don't think they can stay inside a house alone, allowing them to walk somewhere alone and hang out alone is probably not going to happen.  Then again, I would not necessarily get worked up over someone else doing it. 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I was mugged at the park by older teens when I was 14 and watching a 6 year old. The 6 did fine...he went half a mile back home, clearly told the story and got help. Gave a good factual recall to the officer too. However, today it will not be a mugging, it will more likely be a kidnap w sexual assault by an adult ,..so I would not send a 10 and a 6 unless they were street smart and both had phones plus the park was well patrolled and a video camera was in use and monitored by the security. If it is an area where jobless people hang out, I wouldnt do it. I remember the last kid that was murdered in the park here by a drifter. I wouldnt wish that on any family.

 

Yeah honestly even I don't want to go to the park alone.  I will take my kids there, but I go when I know there will be other people there. 

 

I don't go around worried to death about every possible bad thing that can happen, but I do take what I'd consider reasonable precautions.  There is no reason my kids have to go to the park alone.  I can go with them. 

[Alice]

I said depends on the conditions. I've read a lot about this case since it's local for me. I believe the parents had practiced the route with the kids, it was one they had done with the parents several times and knew well and they had been gradually increasing independence. The kids had been taught and trained in what to do in certain situations. 

 

I know I walked to school about a mile each day starting when I was 6, with only my 6 year old best friend for company. I don't believe the world was safer then, I think we just are more anxious now. 

 

I also think it's pertinent that the parents in this case have pointed out that even though they are under investigation for neglect (because Maryland law says that anyone under the age of 8 must be with someone over the age of 13) that children of that age are allowed to walk to school alone (for about the same distance). The state replied that they don't expect that people actually let their kids walk to school alone, but it's still kind of a ridiculous double standard. 

[creekland]

Unless it is a known danger area, I'd have no problem with it.  My kids were extremely free range with such things - as was I as a kid.  We all loved it.  Kids in other countries do far, far more at younger ages than most typical Americans.

 

I did require mine to stay together (at least two together).  I tended to be alone when I was young as I was the outdoor lover and my sister was the indoor lover - the main exception being when we rode our ponies (which we rode all over the countryside starting at the ages of 8/9).

[ktgrok]

I walked nearly that distance to my BFF's house all the time at 6. So yeah, I'd vote why not?

Of course it depends on the kid, but I tend to think kids are capable of WAY more than our generation gives them credit for.

 

I used to walk to the store with my sister when we were those ages, about the same distance. Maybe even a bit further. In a neighborhood, with sidewalks, etc. And my parents were pretty overprotective, but it just wasn't considered a dangerous thing to do. My daughter is currently 5 (well, will be tomorrow) and yeah, I have no issues with the idea of her and a 10 yr old walking that distance, fi there are sidewalks, no busy streets to cross etc. 

 

That would be my biggest  issue, how busy are the streets? Crossing neighborhood streets, no problem. Crossing a 4 or 6 lane divided road, probably not. (during walks to school there are crossing gaurds at those)

[JFSinIL]

It depends on too many variables.

 

Here, it is about a mile to the local elementary school.  Our neighbor let his five-year-old dd walk unescorted to kiddiegarten (he was night shift, and slept days).  She was in afternoon kiddiegarten, so the only kid out walking that time of day.  We do have several registered sex offenders sprinkled about, so I am glad nothing ever happened to her.  She was a perfectly smart, capable little girl, it was not her ability I questioned, but the presence of potential harm.

[shawthorne44]

Wow!   Was I the only one struck by the CPS overreaction?  I also remember in another thread here CPS being discussed and someone said that they coerce the parents to sign stuff.   So this jumped out at me.  "The Meitivs say that on Dec. 20, a CPS worker required Alexander to sign a safety plan pledging he would not leave his children unsupervised until the following Monday, when CPS would follow up. At first he refused, saying he needed to talk to a lawyer, his wife said, but changed his mind when he was told his children would be removed if he did not comply."

 

Really?  They were going to remove the kids from the home because they were allowed to walk to the park?   Really?  

 

Then later this, "This week, a CPS social worker showed up at her door, she said. She did not let him in. She said she was stunned to later learn from the principal that her children were interviewed at school."  

[KungFuPanda]

I vote no all over the place. It's illegal for a 10 year old to care for a 6-year-old in MD. Georgia Avenue is ALWAYS busy. Even though there are some very nice neighborhoods in that area, it's always populated enough that there are a sprinkling of unsavory characters. My sister lets her kids walk in that area, but there are four of them and the baby is 12. When the kids walk too and from school in that area there is more oversight during those times . . . Lots of kids walking the same path, crossing guards, cops at the busier intersections. I've driven through there when school let shout and normal traffic patterns are definitely altered to benefit the kids.

 

I call BS on the mom claiming "free-range" in this situation. It sounds like she sent the kids to watch themselves and got caught. I was a free-range kid, but there was no chance of me passing a drug dealer on my one-mile excursions through the woods. We certainly weren't 'released' at those ages. The cops picked them up because kids those ages fending for themselves is not a normal sight for that area.

[Just Kate]

I voted too far and too young. I wouldn't let my 10 and 7 year olds walk that far. However, I do feel that it is up to the parents to make these decisions. Just because I wouldn't allow it certainly doesn't make it wrong.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Wow!   Was I the only one struck by the CPS overreaction?

 

Nope. I would never let my 6-year-old walk a mile in that scenario, with or without a 10-year-old brother, and I was still deeply disturbed by the CPS reaction. It's stories like these that frighten good, thoughtful parents into being hovering, overprotective parents. As has been said, I think we're more at risk from the busybodies than we are the actual dangers of our world most days.

[Dmmetler]

For some kids, in some neighborhoods, with a community that is understanding, yes. I was walking home about a mile from school at age 5-6 without trouble, and not always with older kids or in a group, either, and I think my DD could have done so as well. However, I'm in a neighborhood where the busybodies probably would call the police if they saw kids out-because either they're too young or they're considered to be up to no good. Teenagers playing basketball at the neighborhood park were so "suspicious" that parents petitioned to have the basketball goals taken down. Sigh...

 

 

 

[bettyandbob]

With everything it depends on the child/ren involved.

 

I know the area. It is busy. Very busy. However, I think that's a much better place to walk than an isolated road. If the parents have worked with the kids and trained them how to handle walking home as they had said they did some children that age are perfectly fine to do it. I will say I could not have done it with mine because I couldn't trust oldest with his sister, but I have seen families where sibling dynamic is much different than in mine and I think parents should be able to judge that.

 

Additionally, one pp is pointing the mom. Mom was out of town when this happened. The dad was the one who made the decision for the kids to walk home. Mom has backed up the dad's decision. And she has stated clearly why--it was based on the fact they have been training the kids to do this.

 

Also I do not get why another pp thinks sexual assault would be more likely than mugging today. I expect both crimes to happen. And both crimes happen today at lower rates than they did in the past. We are just more aware today. Being aware is a good thing. But being aware can be taken to a crippling level in our response to awareness.

[Elisabet1]

Yes, and I am not even free ranging!!

[Serenade]

 

A mile is less than a half hour at an average pace for a six year old if they know how to walk. That used to be the standard distance to a bus stop. Our perceptions of danger have just changed. By six a kid should be able to handle packing a snack, water, a phone, appropriate clothing and going down the road 25 minutes away.

 

 

 

Agreed.  I walked about a mile to school at 7, and that was standard.  Often I was with my brother who was two years older, but sometimes I was not.  All the kids in my neighborhood did the same, since we lived too close for the bus.

 

Hearing situations like the one linked above do nothing but make parents paranoid.  I now have a 15 year old who is afraid to walk from the library to a nearby grocery store to meet me, because he is worried that someone will stop him and ask why he is out alone or with his 12 year old brother.  You'd think at 15 you wouldn't have to worry, but somebody on this board reported about a busybody who questioned her kids left in the car, including a 15 year old.

 

I have not yet left my kids at the library alone.  Just last week I confirmed with the library at what age I could leave children there alone, since I still have a 12 year old.  I was told that the minimum drop-off age was 12, although one librarian said it might have been 10, but she was not sure.  

 

I'm afraid to let my kids out to ride their bikes before the local school kids get out, in case somebody thinks they are truant. This is the kind of world we have to raise our kids in -- a paranoid one, because we never know if some crazy person is going to report them for something, with no consequences to the busybody for false reports.  Some people think, better to have social services check up on kids, and be sure they're safe.  I'm not so sure.  I think the damage caused to healthy families and kids by a false report can be life altering, when people are allowed to make anonymous reports, with apparently no accountability.  From articles like the one linked above and other posts by WTMers, Social Services seems to have absolute power, and can force people to sign these forms without a lawyer, or they will take their kids away immediately, even if there are no injuries or other visible problems with the children.  It's just nuts.

 

I'm not sure if I would have kids all over again, not because I don't love my kids, but because child-rearing is getting to be more and more complicated.

[Serenade]

 I don't believe the world was safer then, I think we just are more anxious now. 

 

 

Definitely.

[KungFuPanda]

In case it got lost above, try to keep in mind that THEY BROKE THE LAW. This was not a judgement call /busybody situation. This was a case where the cops picked up the kids because they observed the law being broken. I'm sure they asked the oldest her age first. It's a standard question in these situations. If she were two years older this wouldn't have hit the news.

 

The poll question should read "Is it acceptable for parents to break a law they don't like"

[bettyandbob]

For some kids, in some neighborhoods, with a community that is understanding, yes. I was walking home about a mile from school at age 5-6 without trouble, and not always with older kids or in a group, either, and I think my DD could have done so as well. However, I'm in a neighborhood where the busybodies probably would call the police if they saw kids out-because either they're too young or they're considered to be up to no good. Teenagers playing basketball at the neighborhood park were so "suspicious" that parents petitioned to have the basketball goals taken down. Sigh...

 

 

Geez. Take away good things for teens to do and some of them start coming up with ideas for fun that are not so good. How would your neighbor feel about her car being vandalized because some kids were just bored. Sometimes, simple things like a basketball backboard and blacktop are just the thing for a kid on the edge to stay on just the right side of the edge.

[TechWife]

If the kids are responsible, no problem. One mile is 5,280 feet. That's all. 

[bettyandbob]

In case it got lost above, try to keep in mind that THEY BROKE THE LAW. This was not a judgement call /busybody situation. This was a case where the cops picked up the kids because they observed the law being broken. I'm sure they asked the oldest her age first. It's a standard question in these situations. If she were two years older this wouldn't have hit the news.

 

The poll question should read "Is it acceptable for parents to break a law they don't like"

 

No, actually they did not. The law is specific about children watching other children at home. It makes no reference to out of doors situations. The Meitivs studied the law closely when they began training their kids to do things like this independently. That is something that was discussed in some of the articles and interviews on this.

[Dmmetler]

Geez. Take away good things for teens to do and some of them start coming up with ideas for fun that are not so good. How would your neighbor feel about her car being vandalized because some kids were just bored. Sometimes, simple things like a basketball backboard and blacktop are just the thing for a kid on the edge to stay on just the right side of the edge.

 

IIRC, the big complaint was that the teens were "noisy" and didn't always use child appropriate language (although the worst I heard was a couple of four letter words when a kid went down hard-and I suspect most adults would curse in a similar situation) and they didn't want them near the playground with their little ones. Personally, I loved being out there with toddler DD and watching them, because they were obviously working so hard and so into their pick up game.  But apparently basketball is supposed to happen only in school and community center league games and practices, not kids just getting together and playing because they love doing so.

[KungFuPanda]

No, actually they did not. The law is specific about children watching other children at home. It makes no reference to out of doors situations. The Meitivs studied the law closely when they began training their kids to do things like this independently. That is something that was discussed in some of the articles and interviews on this.

If you live somewhere where the minimum legal age to babysit is 13, and where cops are known to stop kids and ask their age, this was a bad call to make. I'm not sure why anyone would consider Georgia Avenue safer than their home, or think a loophole would make a difference to a cop picking up unsupervised kids.

[bettyandbob]

If you live somewhere where the minimum legal age to babysit is 13, and where cops are known to stop kids and ask their age, this was a bad call to make. I'm not sure why anyone would consider Georgia Avenue safer than their home, or think a loophole would make a difference to a cop picking up unsupervised kids.

 

Loophole is not, it is incorrect to say they broke the law.

 

The fact that they understood the law before this happened suggests to me they were thinking through the whole process of training their kids to be independent and responsible. It was not a lazy decision of "yeah, walk home, see you whenever."

[KungFuPanda]

Loophole is not, it is incorrect to say they broke the law.

 

The fact that they understood the law before this happened suggests to me they were thinking through the whole process of training their kids to be independent and responsible. It was not a lazy decision of "yeah, walk home, see you whenever."

However they reached the decision, the results were completely predictable.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Loophole is not, it is incorrect to say they broke the law.

 

The fact that they understood the law before this happened suggests to me they were thinking through the whole process of training their kids to be independent and responsible. It was not a lazy decision of "yeah, walk home, see you whenever."

 

I don't disagree that these parents made a reasoned, thoughtful decision. However, according to Montgomery County's Office of the County Attorney:

 

In addition, a separate provision in the Maryland Statewide Child Protective Services Screening Procedures (SSA 95-13) describes an unattended child as: one who has been abandoned; a child less than 8 years old left in the care of either an unreliable person or someone less than 13 years old; a child between 8 and 12 years old left alone longer than briefly without sufficient contact or safety information (phone numbers of parents, neighbors, etc.); a child 12 years old or older who is left alone for long periods or overnight with responsibilities beyond his or her capacity or if the child has a special mental or physical disability that creates a greater risk.

[Lolly]

I am hovering between Yes, and Yes with conditions. I think the area you are in makes a difference; I think the kids in particular make a difference. There are some 20 yos who should not make that walk alone. For most 6 and 10 yos in most areas, it is perfectly fine. Then again, I grew up walking about 3 miles home from school in first grade. We didn't have K. If we did, I would have been doing it then too. Might color my perceptions some. My kids roamed pretty freely at those ages. Their favorite thing to do was to walk to the TCBY (about a mile) and get an ice cream.

[ktgrok]

What kills me, is people posting "but...a child molestor could get them!" Well, yes, one could. But if the parent drove the kid to the park, they could get in a car accident. In fact, I'd say the odds are HIGHER of the child being hurt driving to the park with mom and dad, or to the movies, or whatever, than while walking to the park. Yet one is an acceptable risk to society, and the other isn't. That makes no sense.