What are non-negotiable away from home things your children have to do?

[DawnM]

I am trying to figure out next year. We have looked at 3 co-ops. The kids are now telling me they don't want a co-op at all. I am not sure if I will make them or not.

 

Right now we do the following outside the home:

 

Church

Scouts (which includes a lot of weekend activities as well)

Sports (with is pretty much only golf at this point.)

Art class once per week

 

I really don't want to be a homebody 5 days per week. I like getting out and meeting with other people.. However, I am an extrovert raising introvert kids (they get that from my DH.)

 

Do your kids do outside classes? Activities? How many days per week do you GO somewhere?

 

Dawn

[Pawz4me]

We've never had any luck with co-op classes. I've uniformly found them to be a waste of time.

 

Youngest DS (the homeschooled one) plays baseball spring and fall. When they're playing/practicing that gets him out of the house at least three or four times a week. Other than that he prefers being a homebody. We're all introverts here, so we're fine with not having much that requires leaving the house. But it's a very rare day that I don't go somewhere. There are always errands that need doing.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

We have 2 out of the house activities, but I voted 4 because our 2 in house activities are more disruptive to the routine.

 

ETA: we have drums, therapies, and 2 in home therapists.

[freeindeed]

Two days: Sundays for church and Mondays for homeschool co-op.

[plath]

We usually do a park day, library day (including story time for my youngest), soccer or other "gym" activity like gymnastics or dance and this fall we're trying co-op classes on Fridays. I didn't sign up for every week though - it evens out to be every other. Soccer ends up being two technically, since practice is on Wednesdays and games are on Saturdays.

 

My kids are young though - so take that with a grain of salt!

[In the Rain]

We have

 

piano

church

choir

homeschool play group

co-op

 

It is more than I would like to leave the house, but each activity has great value for my kids. Most of those involve a 30+ minute drive each way, which means even more time out of the house! And then there are errands to be run. :tongue_smilie:

[Dory]

each kid gets to pick an activity, plus piano and Awana. Somehow choir squeaked in partway through the year as well. We still got everything done and I'm tired (I hate going out), but the kids have enjoyed it and done well with it all so we'll probably do more of the same next year.Over the summer we have swimming lessons and camp for each kid as well as basketball camp. Right now is just soccer and choir.

[Mom in High Heels]

Indy does Scout meetings once a week and they frequently have stuff on the weekends. He does take piano, but the teacher comes to our house. He's not into team sports, but when we move to WA, he wants to do fencing, which is great as there is a fencing academy about 20 minutes from where we will live. I'm not into activities 5+ nights a week. I'm too lazy for that. ;) We spend our evenings doing stuff together at the house, like watching TV (while we cuddle on the sofa), playing games, etc.

[Jenny in Florida]

I voted 5 - 6, because that covers just my son, the one who is still homeschooling. He pretty regularly has:

 

Monday - choir followed by a dance class

Tuesday - dance class(es)

Wednesday - dance classes and a competition team rehearsal, plus assistant teaching two classes (He's at the studio for five or so hours that day.)

Saturday - volunteering at science museum or additional choir or dance rehearsals or, during the spring, dance competitions

Sunday - church, Sunday school, youth group

 

For several months this academic year, he also volunteered at the science museum on two Thursday afternoons per month. In the fall semester, he had show rehearsals every Saturday afternoon, and his dance team did a series of Friday evening rehearsals in the spring. Every month or so his choir sings for a morning or evening service or does a concert on a Sunday. But those things are not every week or all year.

[Parrothead]

During the school year dd has outside activities 6 days a week if one counts Sunday school. She to is an introvert. But we are a family of introverts so we have lots of built in down time in our day.

 

And all I do is drop her off. I'm not into small town gossip sessions that happen around here in waiting rooms.

[Parrothead]

To be clear, after re-reading your title, dd is the one who sets the pace. If ever she decided to drop an activity she would be welcome to. After school activities are not non-negotiable.

 

Have you considered a book club or another way for you to do what you need to do without forcing your kids to activities they do not want to participate in.

[SKL]

I thought I was going to be "out there," but apparently not. I voted 6. The only day we don't have an out-of-house extracurricular activity is Friday (and on Friday we usually go to dinner with my business partners, so if that counts, it's 7 days per week). My kids are in brick-and-mortar school 5 days per week as well. Our extracurriculars are: dance (3 classes), gymnastics (2 classes), karate, swimming, church/sunday school, piano lessons, and junior bell choir. I didn't count therapies and the in-house stuff they do with our Saturday morning nanny (Spanish, art). ... I'm an introvert, but somehow I like getting out each day. I like the change of scene, and the fact that when I'm away from home with my kids, I'm not "available" to do work and such.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We are out of the house every single day but we don't do co-ops. Our daily out of the house activities are at the Y for sports and volunteering.

[Julie Smith]

One day per week for us. That day has always had piano, a short quick walk from our house, not even 5 minutes. But now we have just added French class to that afternoon. French class is the first activity we have had in a long time that requires a drive in the car.

 

We do live in town so have the option to walking to the library, grocery store, music store, ... and we usually do that once a week. But it is not a have to.

 

I also go dancing once a week with my hubby. But we only take the kids if the babysitter cancels.

 

We do also have stuff on the weekend. On Friday night we have the option of going to board game night at a friends house. We do this about half the time. Every other Sunday my hubby takes Eldest down the street for a computer space ship lan party game thing.

[SKL]

I would agree that none of the activities we do are "non-negotiable." That is, if I suddenly had some reason why I had to keep the kids home every evening, we'd just switch to homebody stuff that serves most of the same purposes (exercise etc.) However, I don't ask my kids (age 6) whether or not they want to do something if I think they should do it. If I let my kids decide, one of them would have no physical activities and the other would have no intellectual ones.

[blondeviolin]

We typically have evening activities: swim on Tuesday and Thursday for the 5yo and 3yo, gymnastics on Friday for the 6yo. Sometimes we go to play group Thursday mornings. We do the library on Saturdays.

[Alice]

The only things I consider non-negotiable are church and piano. I consider piano part of school. I think music is important but I’m completely non-musical and can’t do it at home. I would also say certain things are non-negotiable once we sign up for them. Unless they really hate something I think they need to finish a sport season or class or activity once started.

 

We do a lot of other things but they are all things the kids choose or want to do, I don’t think I’d make them do anything else at this point. However, I’m very much an introvert and I also work outside the home so I’m not looking for interaction elsewhere.

[PentecostalMom]

We go to church twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday. I do not consider anything else outside of the house mandatory. If we want to do something like an outside class, dh and I discuss it, then offer it to dd if we think she should have the option to participate.

[Farrar]

Co-op, Destination Imagination, piano lessons, soccer, and ballet are our non-negotiables. We end up doing more though. Ack.

[Paige]

My kids do athletic activities 4 days a week, church once a week, and during school co-op every other week. We also have doctor appointments about once a week at least.

 

If they didn't want to do a co-op I'd be so, so, so happy. I only do it for them because the academics there make me want to cry.

[ScoutTN]

I voted 5-6. We are busier than I like this spring. Usually we are good at 4. I like to have mondays and one other day at home. I try to double up our days so we do several things in a row on days we are out and around. Piano and church on Wednesday. Soccer and CSA pick up Tuesday.

 

Do you count routine errands as activities? ;) Library, grocery shopping, bike riding, nature walks?

Or parties and other celebrations? What about field trips?

 

Ours varies by season a good deal. Most in spring, then fall. Summer we are at the pool 4 or 5x a week, but not lots of other activities except for camp and VBS. Just hangin' out catching lightening bugs, grilling out and enjoying a relaxed schedule.

 

Our absolute non-negeotiables are: church Sunday, church (choir and catechism) Wednesday evening, piano for DD and one sport or physical activity for each. (often both at same time/place)

[LibraryLover]

 

 

I

[dm379]

Both mine take fencing and horseback riding which is once a week each. Then boy scouts is once a week with lots of weekend activities. Next year we are going to try to do two co-ops. My dd is very social and needs to be around other kids a lot. We live in the country and there are no neighborhood kids for her to play with. I'm not sure even that will be enough for her so we might have to add in more.

[DawnM]

I personally wasn't counting the once in a while things as they aren't part of the routine, but you can count them as you like.

 

We do a lot of field trips, game nights, parties, bible study, etc....but they aren't weekly.

 

Dawn

 

I voted 5-6. We are busier than I like this spring. Usually we are good at 4. I like to have mondays and one other day at home. I try to double up our days so we do several things in a row on days we are out and around. Piano and church on Wednesday. Soccer and CSA pick up Tuesday.

 

Do you count routine errands as activities? ;) Library, grocery shopping, bike riding, nature walks?

Or parties and other celebrations? What about field trips?

 

Ours varies by season a good deal. Most in spring, then fall. Summer we are at the pool 4 or 5x a week, but not lots of other activities except for camp and VBS. Just hangin' out catching lightening bugs, grilling out and enjoying a relaxed schedule.

 

[Ellie]

I voted "other."

 

I don't mind being out of the house, necessarily; what I mind is being out of the house before, oh, 3 in the afternoon because of activities scheduled with others.

 

My dds did ballet and Highland dance, 4-H, and marching band, soccer, Missionettes and Pioneer Clubs. Those were community-organized (e.g., not specifically for homeschooled children), and so the classes/practices were scheduled around public school hours.

 

We left the house every Wednesday morning to go to the library. Sometimes we visited friends in the early afternoon, but not regularly.

 

We left the house every Thursday for a field trip. Usually it was just the three of us, but once in awhile I invited a few friends to go, if I wanted to do something that required a group.

 

Both Wednesday and Thursday outings were based on *our* time schedule and *our* needs.

 

I never did field trips with my support group unless they were on Thursday, or the destination event was something I could not do by myself and it was totally worth it to mess up the rest of my week, lol.

 

We went to park day once a month; and for a few years, we did a six-week homeschool bowling league in the early winter. For a couple of years we also did a once-a-month homeschool skate day.

 

So our daily schedule was our own, in our own home. No hurrying to get up and get out of the house, leaving household chores undone and only being home long enough between activities to trash the house and then walk out the door; having enough time to be able to think through what we were learning at home; children spending time interacting with each other (and me) in a non-age-segregated environment.

 

We enjoyed our people time, but we *needed* to *be home* regularly, for large blocks of time. Too much time out of the house, especially during the day, was a recipe for burn-out and discontent.

[Rubix]

Unfortunately, we have 7 days we are out. 3-4 of those are kids things - church and Awana, as well as Tae Kwon Do. The other days we go to the Y so I can workout, and I work part time out of the home. I would love a few days a week to stay home!

[LucyStoner]

My older son has group classes and music lessons 2 days a week. A third day a week we leave the house in the morning for his speech therapy and other autism related appointments. We leave the house most days, even if it is just to ride our bikes to a park or whatnot. My goal for next fall is to get the speech and other appointments on the same day as the classes so that we have 3 weekdays we don't have to drive anywhere.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Right now we have things 5 days a week because my oldest just started swim team for the summer. However, I've cut back on some other things. I have a fairly new baby who doesn't nap well unless he is in his own bed, so I'm working around that for a while :). It's a season.

[elfgivas]

about half the time it is:

dance - 4 days a week, one day twice

music - three days a week, one day twice.

 

the other half of the time it is:

dance - 5 or 6 days a week, one day twice

music - 5 days a week, one day twice

 

and occasionally either dance or music ends up being 7 days a week (eg. one dd is playing in a pit orchestra for a musical this coming weekend. so on top of all the regular music, there is also an every evening + matinees commitment)

 

fwiw,

ann

[sbgrace]

As an introvert, being in regular activities 4-7 days a week would drain/exhaust me. I think 5-6 would be nearly impossible for me to maintain for very long. Honestly, we are usually 3 days a week and that is more than enough for me. I do it for them. I think you probably need your husband's input but I personally would try to balance my needs with my kids. Is there a way you could do some sociable stuff without them--getting your needs for interaction out without involving them? I wouldn't push coop. I imagine they very much need just at home days.

[In the Rain]

I am trying to figure out next year. We have looked at 3 co-ops. The kids are now telling me they don't want a co-op at all. I am not sure if I will make them or not.

 

 

I answered earlier about our activities. If my kids didn't want to do co-op, I wouldn't make them. My kids have always needed a lot of down time, and didn't want to add an all day co-op until ages 8 & 11. I think dragging your kids to co-op could make life miserable for you.

 

If you need more social time, and they don't, could you leave them at home and meet with friends regularly? I think doing your own thing would be more enjoyable than dragging along unhappy kids.

[Mrs Mungo]

Right now we are between places to live, so they have nothing, lol.

 

Our last schedule looked something like this:

Monday night: scouts for younger 2

Tuesday: Spanish class at the local homeschool store for eldest, then lit discussion at my house

Wednesday: debate class with a local homeschool group for eldest, flute class for middle

Thursday: military coop (this was important to all of us for social/support reasons), guitar for eldest

Friday and Saturday: I tried to keep these days free

Sunday: church

 

My eldest is an introvert and would be *done* after co-op on Thursday, she had to take a nap. I think co-op is good for introverts because it allows them to gradually warm up and get to know people. But, you do have to respect that at some point they will need that recharging alone time.

 

ETA: I would not call any of these non-negotiable. My kids are 12-17, they are well old enough to have input. My post above answers the questions in the post more than the title.

[NotSoObvious]

I voted two days only because that's how many days a week we have speech. I don't make my kids go to church. If they didn't want to go, we wouldn't go. I don't sign them up for things they don't want to do (like activities). However, if they do commit to something, like soccer, I make them finish the season, unless there is a compelling reason to quit. But, with all the activities they choose to do, we are out of the house 3-4 days per week.

[briansmama]

Right now my oldest has sports practice 6 days per week. My youngest has a science class 1x per week, and both boys have piano lessons 1x per week outside the home. We also have our weekly homeschool park days once per week.

 

The schedule works for us because my younger ds and I stay home while Dh handles oldest ds sports training. Otherwise it would be absolutely way too much for me and ds2.

 

I agree, co-ops for us haven't been very beneficial. However, my homeschooled niece participates in several per week and loves them! I really depends on the co-op and the child.

[MrsBanjoClown]

Church (Sundays and also Wednesdays during the school year for Awana)

Cub Scouts (was every other Tuesday this year - September-April)

Soccer (Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings - September-November and March-May)

 

After tomorrow, all of these will be over until September.

[Catwoman]

None.

 

Nothing is non-negotiable.

[MinivanMom]

Nothing is non-negotiable here. Activities are just activities, so my kids' input is important. We haven't yet encountered a child that didn't want to do anything or go anywhere, though they all have different levels of tolerance for busyness.

 

Currently extrovert dd9 has activities 6 days per week, introvert ds7 has activities 4 days per week, and dd5 has activities 3 days per week. We "go somewhere" 6 days out of 7, because none of the children are old enough to be left behind. I'm an introvert so I sometimes find it draining, but I also think it's good for me. I think it's good for all of us. Playing with your siblings isn't enough when it comes to cultivating relationships and developing social skills.

[T'smom]

Nothing is truly non-negotiable. Except church and Awana, but even then, if my son hated awana, I would try to find something else. I wouldn't let a kid just drop something for no reason, but if they wanted to stop between sessions, I wouldn't have a problem with that. My kids are very young. When they are older, I can see requiring a physical activity and a musical activity, but I'd give them lots of choices and leeway. Also, when they are much older, if I feel a class needs to be outsourced, I wouldn't mind telling them that that was non-negotiable.

[lea1]

Our sons wanted to do the activities they in but there are times when they complain about having to go....but then they seem to have a great time and really enjoy it while they are there. If they really hated an activity and wanted to quit, I am sure we would figure something out where they could quit though. This is what we have been doing since January:

 

Monday - Piano Lesson at 2:00

Tuesday - Swimming Lessons at 9:30am; Cub Scouts at 7:00pm

Wednesday - Violin Lesson at 1:30; AWANA at 6:45

Friday - Homeschool Co-op from 9:00 until 12:30 (this ended 2 weeks ago)

Sunday - Church

[Lisbeth]

No co-ops but we have activities out of the house 6-7 days per week. I am a big biever in learning out of the house via varied activities, andI like them to try all kinds of different things. It can get expensive but we took our previous private school budget and apply it toward hs. I read about Marissa Mayer

(CEO of yahoo) talking abt how much she loved that her mom provided fun, different and varied activities, and I liked that, because we try to do the same.

[Wheres Toto]

We're all a bunch of homebodies but I think I'm the only true introvert.

 

Our only non-negotiable is 4-H and that's because I'm the leader. We do a meeting once a month, and a field trip once a month. Although I will cancel if any of us are sick.

 

We have two activities on Sunday - Church and Dh takes Ds to Pokemon League.

 

I'm hoping to start going to homeschool soccer on the Tuesdays we don't have 4-H. This is at Dd's request, and I don't know if Ds will play or just hang-out.

 

I'm hoping to start swimming lessons and/or martial arts at some point. We may be able to pull it off in the fall.

 

We do a variety of field trips and classes through our local historical sites or nature centers. These require registration but usually aren't continuous.

[mlktwins]

Last fall through Christmas, we were gone somewhere everyday of the week except for Monday. We had church on Sunday, Soccer on Tues/Thur and Sat, homeschool classes on Wed. and private swim lessons on Fridays. I was on total overload and felt rushed all the time. We stopped everything after Christmas except for swim on Fridays and church and swim team swim on Sundays. The boys noticed a much more relaxed mama and found they liked her a little bit better :-). Now we have summer swim team coming up (our first year) and will have swim practice everyday (Mon-Fri) and meets on Sat -- starting in a few weeks. We will take August off to rest!!!

 

I am gearing up to be out of the house more next fall, but I'm not looking forward to it. We will be doing private swim lessons on Mondays, homeschool classes on Weds, church on Sundays. We are also trying baseball for the 1st time and I'm not at all sure what that schedule is like. I know the baseball schedule is not the same from week to week so I'm not sure how that will go. I will just have to suck up and do it, but I will need to decompress when I get home and on our days off. I never thought I was an introvert until I had kids. Then I realized all the motion and noise gets to me after awhile -- LOL. Dh is gone Mon through Fri from 6 am until 7:40 pm so there isn't much rest for the weary on weekdays. He will just have to give me a break on the weekend!

[Tita Gidge]

I'm another one who enjoys getting out of the house every day, if only for a little bit.

 

Non-negotiables for us are Mass, and one sport. I don't care which sport, any sport will do.

 

Between them, my kids participate in organized: baseball, soccer, horseback riding, boxing, drama, and mixed martial arts. I started counting drama as a sport when I saw how ridiculously physical it could be; had no idea!

 

Churchwise, starting at age 10 I require service to our church parish. I don't care what ministry they join, they just must join one. Some meet weekly, others meet annually for refresher courses. We're walking distance to the church, so this doesn't impact my time too much.

 

Even if each of my kids only did one thing each, we'd still be out pretty much every day. I have more kids than there are days of the week, for one, but also because I am able to support their individual interests rather than corral them into a single more-convenient-for-me activity. I can do this because I live near family, and my kids have built-in carpools with cousins and my own siblings. If I were living separate from family, I might have to be more discriminating about how much diversity I could support sanity-wise!

 

We have outside activities every day of the week, but because my kids and their cousins have so many overlaps in activities we're not all necessarily gone every day of the week. We carpool, and my older ones obviously don't have to tag along to a sibling's activity. For that matter, neither do my youngers because there's usually someone home they can stay with LOL.

[Hoot]

Next year we will have 2 days of co-op classes, though neither are ALL day. Two additional days per week he has karate. I have scheduled swimming and drum lessons to be on the co-op days so we're not leaving the house extra days for those. For a couple of months each year he also has baseball and those days fluctuate on a weekly basis. Some weeks he may have 1 game and other weeks he may have 3. I try to have at least 1 day per week where we don't have anywhere to go during the day.

 

I wouldn't consider any of these things to be non-negotiable though if DS truly wanted to drop them.

[goldberry]

I think your schedule is busy enough if they want to drop the co-op I would let them.

 

I can understand wanting at least something out of the house for the social aspects, but you have plenty. Beyond that, outside things should be something the kid picks and enjoys, not non-negotiable.

[joannqn]

When my older two kids were younger, we had outside activities at least 5 days per week. It was too much. I'm trying to find a middle ground now.

[Sarah CB]

So sad to have voted 7 days a week. Although, I'm realizing that I should have only voted 6.

 

Sunday - church, Youth Symphony from 2:30 - 5pm

Monday - at the music school from 11am until 6:30pm

Tuesday - home until 11:30 then French, music theory, piano, tutoring, home by 4:15 and no evening activities! Family Night :)

Wednesday - tutoring for two boys from 1- 3, Taekwon-do for all kids from 6 - 8, dd's dance class from 8 - 9

Thursday - usually it's co-op, but that part of co-op ended at spring break so now it's a complete home day and evening!

Friday - co-op in the morning and then our house for the rest of the day with two other families. Family Night! When we get back to regular co-op the Friday one will end and this will become our day at home.

Saturday - usually Taekwon-do at 10am, but we don't go every week.

 

When it was just dd I was at home way more. The boys have a great group of homeschooled friends and we do a lot of communal learning.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sarah - polls allow us to delete our votes and then reenter them now, so you don't have to be sad about putting in the wrong number.

[Mommy22alyns]

Rebecca does gymnastics about 4 days per week. Both girls do AHG two Tuesdays a month. Sylvia does dance once a week and choir once a week fall & spring. Rebecca only does choir in the spring.

 

I take all of our activities very seriously, especially Rebecca's gymnastics. We don't miss unless someone's dying.

[Lady Florida.]

I voted one activity because I signed ds up for a hs literature class next year. That will only last Sept.-Nov. and I'll re-evaluate after that. If I voted for how we do things this year, it would have been that we're not signed up for anything. There are several weekly activities that ds enjoys, but they're the kind you attend only when you want to.