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Tell me that my kids need me.


Julie in CA
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Tell me that I can't leave them, and that even if I'm completely emotionally and mentally unhinged..that I can still help them somehow...?

 

Trying to hit my knees, but the words won't come. Tomorrow is the day at church too. And yes, it really does need to happen this way. If you're a pray-er, pray that I'll retain some semblance of dignity, ok? This is going to be one of the hardest things I will ever do. Just keep breathing, right? Why does that sound like too much to ask?

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Dear Julie, yes, they need you. Keep breathing, keep loving them. :grouphug:

 

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

 

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,

And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

Though its waters roar and foam,

Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

The holy dwelling places of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;

God will help her when the morning dawns.

Psalm 46: 1-5

 

And a song that has been personally meaningful when I walked through a dark night of the soul:

 

 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

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I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

 

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

 

[Chorus:]

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

 

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

 

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

 

[Chorus]

 

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

 

 

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Sending you strength!

 

Your children will someday go through crisis. They may feel broken, out of control, and devestated. But they will know that other people have gone through tough times, too - and come through to the other side. It is okay for them to see you upset and they will also see you as you start to feel better (which you WILL!). Hang in there!

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I am praying for you, your situation, and your kids Julie. God holds you even when you can't feel His arms. The Spirit prays for you when you can't find words. He is so very near. What a beautiful song Harriet posted and so very true. He will bring beauty from this pain.

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They do need you, Julie. Not only because someday they will remember that God's strength was your lifeline, even when you felt like you would drown, but because they need a chance to spread their wings and be a help to you when you have a need. Their pain may be deep, but they need to both cling to you and stand next to you, and just by doing that with you, they will grow in strength as you will.

 

You may need to summon everyone together and tell them that at the moment you honestly don't have hope, but that you know that God is true and faithful, and that you are counting on that because you "know whom you have believed." I have lived through something devastating, and it's most certainly a "I feel x, but I know y" situation.

 

One other thing: I heard a prominent Christian pyschologist talk once about his divorce. He said that the only thing that brought him through was walking. When he could do nothing else, barely dragging himself out of bed, he walked, and the walking brought physical relief (endorphins) that enabled him to carry on another few hours. I don't know if you think that would help, but it might.

 

Hugs!

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Your kids need you, both to comfort them and so that they can comfort you. That turns this from something happening to them to something they can do something about (caring for you).

 

Remember Jesus asking God to PLease take this cup from me? it wasn't one of the options, but several times in my life i have related to it oh so well.

 

:grouphug:

ann

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