Do you think this is weird or am I making too much of it?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I think I would call and talk to the mother and tell her how inappropriate their behavior was. If this girl is legitimately wanting to have a pet-sitting business and her mother is just a clueless oaf, then maybe by telling her what she did wrong, you'll save the girl from losing all her business.

 

If you think there was more going on than just irresponsible behavior and boundary crossing, then I think you should change your locks and notify the police.

[gingersmom]

Weird weird weird.

 

I would not hire an 11 year old (even with mother) to dogsit.

[lulubelle]

That is just awful and totally in violation and inappropriate behavior. I would be beyond livid!

 

But, you also did not know them. Lesson learned. Never use them again and let the neighbors know not to use the girl for pet sitting.

[DawnM]

My husband says that sounds like something out of a TV show! That is awful!

 

I hire the neighborhood teen and I NEVER feel that they have done anything but what I asked. If they had I would never hire them back.

 

Wow. I am so sorry this happened.

 

Dawn

[Parrothead]

Very odd. I'd be furious.

[ktgrok]

totally weird. I've been the 9 year old pet sitting. I would go with my mom, feed the animals, maybe sit on the floor and pet them a bit, and that was it. I have been an adult petsitter as well, and would NEVER open a closed door. Playing with toys and snooping on the corkboard? No way. Totally odd.

[lynn]

Not weird, just wrong, very, very wrong. I have pet set many times and I would go in do what needed to be done and leave. It would never cross my mind to go anywhere else in the house, ever.

[Refined by Silver]

I would be upset too! I agree with someone (can't remember who...scratching head ) that wondered if you caught them off guard when you got home. They weren't expecting you to come home then. When she was asking all those questions about where you used to live and so forth she was deflecting your attention and inside she was like :eek:. I can't imagine she would think it was ok with you to have her sister and all her kids over to your house. I think she just thought it was fine because you wouldn't find out.

 

That happened one time when I was in college. I came back to the dorm earlier than I usually did when I went home for the weekend. Well, there was my roommate in the tv lounge and she saw me and was like :willy_nilly:

My brother had come with me and was helping me drop things off. She ran up those stairs so fast, but i still got in there before she could hide everything. I had a little tv on my side and it looked like she had been sleeping in my bed. She couldn't get all the candy wrappers off before I got in.

 

Normally you might not mind a friend sleeping in our bed...no big deal. :ack2: Not her no telling who she had in there with her. Needless to say she wasn't a good roommate. She finally moved out and left me with a big phone bill. Her bf ran up a huge bill calling the pyschic friends hotline.

[kricau]

WHAT!!!! Oh my gosh I can NOT believe they did that. They were just hanging out at your house??? That is INSANE. And would have been my worst nightmare. Here you think that just the mom, dd & ds are going to go over (stay downstairs) and feed / care for your dog. Instead they have a house party, AT YOUR HOUSE!!! I think I might have called the cops.

[yucabird]

I just finished three days of cat care for a friend. She gave me a key and asked that I come by to feed, water, and change litter.

 

I did that—and nothing else.

 

Not that it matters, but my friend lives in a penthouse apartment with a terrific pool. I doubt she would have cared if I had hung out, but she’d asked me to feed, water and take care of litter. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing anything other than cat duty.

 

Those people are completely untrustworthy. What a sad lesson the mother has taught her daughter!

[kricau]

:iagree:YES!!! definately change the locks. If they had the nerve to have all those people in your house (like they owned it). Then who is to say they didn't have a key made.

 

 

If you think there was more going on than just irresponsible behavior and boundary crossing, then I think you should change your locks and notify the police.

[bzymom]

Weird and incredibly inappropriate. I pet sit for members of my family, and it would never occur to me to take such liberties.

 

I'd be furious and would let them know why.

 

Bizarro.

[BatmansWife]

Livid was the very word I was going to use too. UNbelievable!!! I really feel you need to say something to them. If you don't.....it's like they just got away with it. I may feel uncomfortable speaking to her in person, so if I were you I'd write her a letter and mail it so she knows you won't be hiring the dd again and exactly why. The letter doesn't have to be nasty and unkind....but it should be strongly worded, point out the facts, and let them know that this was NOT cool and downright wrong.

ETA: I should clarify that I think the letter should be addressed to the mother. Also, make a copy of it before you send it.

Edited July 7, 2012 by ~AprilMay~

[ereks mom]

Way, way unacceptable. However, if it wasn't obvious to this family that it was unacceptable, and clearly it wasn't as they don't seem to have been embarrassed when you found them, then I don't think explaining it to them is going to really help much. Clearly the mom is utterly clueless. Explaining it to the daughter might help, but as the mom would be the adult in charge, I don't think it would prevent the issue from happening again in the future. I'd chalk it up to experience, and move on. Next time, get references before hiring anyone to do anything in or to your home.

 

:iagree:

[PrairieSong]

It sort of reminds me of that movie "What About Bob?" where Bob has no clue about boundaries and they just can't get rid of him. Not the same situation, I know, but this lady also doesn't seem to have a sense of boundaries.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I have been bloody furious and 2 seconds from calling the police. That's freaking nuts way over the line. I would not have been polite and sure as heck would not have paid them. I'd be really really angry.

 

:iagree: I would also check for any missing things.

[elegantlion]

Livid was the very word I was going to use too. UNbelievable!!! I really feel you need to say something to them. If you don't.....it's like they just got away with it. I may feel uncomfortable speaking to her in person, so if I were you I'd writer her a letter and mail it so she knows you won't be hiring the dd again and exactly why. The letter doesn't have to be nasty and unkind....but it should be strongly worded, point out the facts, and let them know that this was NOT cool and downright wrong.

 

The more I think about this I agree. I think it should be addressed for a few reasons.

 

1. if she wants to be hired in the future she needs to know this is not appropriate, even though I know you'll never hire her again.

 

2. it's not really the dd's fault if the mother is totally clueless. The dd may have felt uneasy about it and went along because she's 11. She may be willing to be more assertive if another adult mentions it. The dd may be well embarrassed by the whole thing. Maybe not,though.

 

3. To have written documentation should an issue arise down the road with something missing.

 

I also think you should write it because I can think of a number of things I did that made me cringe thinking back on them. Many of them were accepted actions by my family or things they were clueless about, so there was no training. I was a young adult, like 19-21, so no parental involvement. However, I wish someone would have told what I did was wrong instead of thinking I was just an idiot. I really wasn't an idiot, I was simply ignorant of how to handle some things.

 

Businesses get complaint letters. It how they get feedback. If you word it well, so an 11 year old will get it, then you can make a difference.

 

I might go as far as to call the police non-emergency and see how they handle situations. Would it be considered trespassing if people other than those you agreed could be there, were allowed on your property?

[Joanne]

I'd be furious.

 

That said, I wonder if they understood the assignment to be house sitting vs. pet care?

 

Don't get me wrong, please. I still think it's creepy and presumptuous even if the job was house sitting. I'd still be concerned about theft and security.

 

But, if there isn't a nefarious reasoning, it might explain the boundary issues.

[TheApprentice]

This is too weird and I would be beyond angry. I wouldn't recommend them to anyone I knew and I probably would not have been has nice. Can you say Invasion.Of.Privacy.

[Devan]

You hired her to do a job, not come over and make themselves at home! I do not think that is acceptable AT ALL and would be nervous what else they might have looked through while I was gone. :glare:

[Rhonda in TX]

Very unprofessional, and the girl does need to know that it was wrong. I would handle it professionally. Write her (the girl) a letter, spelling out exactly why you will not be using her again and that you will not be able to give her a good recommendation. This is honestly more the mother's fault for not giving better guidance, but the girl needs to take responsibility for it if it is her business. It is better that she learn this now.

[Zebra]

I didn't read all the replies, but WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD! No sense of boundaries...and the fact that you caught them and they didn't seem to care, that's beyond weird. It's not right, but I can imagine a kid going in there and playing with toys when you weren't around, but the mother not stopping her or being mortified when you showed up :glare:.

 

Run away screaming. If you have the desire, calmly tell them why you won't be using their services again, and warn your friends!

[Word Nerd]

Livid was the very word I was going to use too. UNbelievable!!! I really feel you need to say something to them. If you don't.....it's like they just got away with it. I may feel uncomfortable speaking to her in person, so if I were you I'd writer her a letter and mail it so she knows you won't be hiring the dd again and exactly why. The letter doesn't have to be nasty and unkind....but it should be strongly worded, point out the facts, and let them know that this was NOT cool and downright wrong.

 

:iagree: I think it's worthwhile for the girl to know why you won't be using her service again. Being honest about how your expectations were not met and why it was inappropriate to go into other parts of the house despite your instructions might be uncomfortable but does not necessitate a nasty confrontation. It is a tricky situation since this seems to have all been the mother's doing, not that of the girl you hired. She is still the one whose name is on her service, and she needs to know this is not appropriate.

Edited July 7, 2012 by WordGirl

[FaithManor]

CREEPY!!!

 

Step 1: Tell them in no uncertain terms that what they did was unacceptable. You hired them to feed and water pets, let dogs outside to potty and THAT WAS IT! Make it clear that you will never hire the dd ever again since they assumed they could use your house as their vacation home. Pay bill if animals were taken care of properly. If not, deduct a percentage for services not being rendered properly.

 

Step 2: Check your house from top to bottom and inside out. Catalog anything missing and if you find anything of value gone, call police, make report.

 

Step 3: Get your locks changed. Though they may just be whackadoodles, it could be worse. My parents had a housesitter whose father made copies of the keys so he could come back and steal. It took my parents a cople of episodes of missing items to figure out who was behind it.

 

Too, too creepy.

The people you have described sound like individuals casing the place.

 

Faith

[sparrow]

CREEPY!!!

 

Step 1: Tell them in no uncertain terms that what they did was unacceptable. You hired them to feed and water pets, let dogs outside to potty and THAT WAS IT! Make it clear that you will never hire the dd ever again since they assumed they could use your house as their vacation home. Pay bill if animals were taken care of properly. If not, deduct a percentage for services not being rendered properly.

 

Step 2: Check your house from top to bottom and inside out. Catalog anything missing and if you find anything of value gone, call police, make report.

 

Step 3: Get your locks changed. Though they may just be whackadoodles, it could be worse. My parents had a housesitter whose father made copies of the keys so he could come back and steal. It took my parents a cople of episodes of missing items to figure out who was behind it.

 

Too, too creepy.

The people you have described sound like individuals casing the place.

 

Faith

 

I'm furious for you!!

 

The bolded was one of my immediate worries, but I thought maybe I was just paranoid :tongue_smilie:.

 

I think I'd change the locks and NEVER call them again. If they ever asked what was wrong, I'd feel free to lay it all out then.

[Word Nerd]

I'd be furious.

 

That said, I wonder if they understood the assignment to be house sitting vs. pet care?

 

.

 

I wondered the same thing. They still bulldozed through boundaries either way, but if they wrongly assume that pet sitting is the same as house sitting, it might explain why they felt comfortable using the house instead of just taking care of pets and leaving. I think this is another reason not to just move on without saying something.

[QuirkyKapers]

I wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't use them again. I would get my locks changed. Unbelievable!

[KnitWit]

These are my thoughts too. Also, if you had personal papers with personal identifying information out, (Shoot! Not even just out...I'd assume they'd been through my drawers) I would assume they have been viewed. It would give me a big red flag for identity theft.

 

There is NO WAY I could BEGIN to understand this happening. We dog sit for our sweet next door neighbor. We have shared meals together but STILL...if she is not home we do NOT do anything but open the door, get the dog, take her out, ensure she has food and water and LEAVE.

 

CREEPY!!!

 

Step 1: Tell them in no uncertain terms that what they did was unacceptable. You hired them to feed and water pets, let dogs outside to potty and THAT WAS IT! Make it clear that you will never hire the dd ever again since they assumed they could use your house as their vacation home. Pay bill if animals were taken care of properly. If not, deduct a percentage for services not being rendered properly.

 

Step 2: Check your house from top to bottom and inside out. Catalog anything missing and if you find anything of value gone, call police, make report.

 

Step 3: Get your locks changed. Though they may just be whackadoodles, it could be worse. My parents had a housesitter whose father made copies of the keys so he could come back and steal. It took my parents a cople of episodes of missing items to figure out who was behind it.

 

Too, too creepy.

The people you have described sound like individuals casing the place.

 

Faith

[JennyB]

:iagree: I've used pet sitters extensively in the past. That is way over the line. You didn't invite them over to play, you paid for a service.

 

Honestly, I'd probably be so livid I'd stew and never speak to them again.

 

However, dependent upon how "witchy" I wanted to be, I'd ask to speak to the mother and dd at your home and explain how violated it felt. I'd outline a few tips on how to provide a service from a customer's perspective and not comment about using them again. Let them figure that part out.

 

Thing is the girl may think this is normal behavior and be hurt down the road when she isn't getting more clients. If no one ever tells her... well, that's hard, because obviously the mother doesn't get it.

 

To get it all out, I'd probably write a letter and let it sit on the desk for a few days. I'd address one to the mother and one to the dd. Having done some pet sitting and owned a cleaning business, respect for a client's privacy is very important.

 

:iagree: I think it is very strange and I would be livid. I do think that you should tell the child and the mother. If she is wanting this as a business she needs to know. Just because the mom is wierd doesn't mean the child can't learn.

[black_midori]

Weird weird weird.

 

I would not hire an 11 year old (even with mother) to dogsit.

 

:iagree:

 

Of course, I also wouldn't even dream of hiring random strangers from the street that I've only recently met to do anything in my house or with my animals while I'm gone.

 

The liability issue alone would make me very leery of hiring a non-professional for this service. What if some dog bit the girl & she blamed it on yours in some insurance scam?

[Lady Florida.]

That is unacceptable. You didn't hire her to house-sit, you hired her to pet-sit. It sounds like they were acting like house sitters.

[justLisa]

That is one CRAZY mother.

[Kakids]

This situation is wrong in so many ways. A failure on the part of many. Why would the dog sitters relatives feel it is ok for them to visit a strangers house and make themselves at home? What was that parent thinking?

 

It doesn't even feel like a house sitting situation to me. You do not invite random people into a job. These were not teenagers or young adults who thought it would be cool to have a party in an empty house, this was adults with families.

 

I am sorry your vacation ended this way. If you can, I think these people need to know the situation was not appropriate.

[amyx4]

We have neighbor kids watch the dog when we're gone. But I know the mom well enough to know that she views it as a job. It's an opportunity to give the kids some responsibility and money. We ask the kids directly and they choose if they want to work for us. They are from a family that the kids have regular chores and understand the meaning of work.

We also only aim for them to watch the dog 3 days and we ask that they come over twice a day. I think he was 10 when we first started to dog sit.

[BatmansWife]

The more I think about this I agree. I think it should be addressed for a few reasons.

 

1. if she wants to be hired in the future she needs to know this is not appropriate, even though I know you'll never hire her again.

 

2. it's not really the dd's fault if the mother is totally clueless. The dd may have felt uneasy about it and went along because she's 11. She may be willing to be more assertive if another adult mentions it. The dd may be well embarrassed by the whole thing. Maybe not,though.

 

3. To have written documentation should an issue arise down the road with something missing.

 

I also think you should write it because I can think of a number of things I did that made me cringe thinking back on them. Many of them were accepted actions by my family or things they were clueless about, so there was no training. I was a young adult, like 19-21, so no parental involvement. However, I wish someone would have told what I did was wrong instead of thinking I was just an idiot. I really wasn't an idiot, I was simply ignorant of how to handle some things.

 

Businesses get complaint letters. It how they get feedback. If you word it well, so an 11 year old will get it, then you can make a difference.

 

I might go as far as to call the police non-emergency and see how they handle situations. Would it be considered trespassing if people other than those you agreed could be there, were allowed on your property?

 

Yes, and definitely make a copy of the letter before you mail it.

[LittleIzumi]

:iagree: Well, except with the overreacting thing. I still do that. ;)

 

I would also be scrutinizing my bank accounts and credit reports, combing every room in the house to see if anything is missing, and feeling very much like I felt when I was robbed. I'd probably let neighbors I was friendly know about the quality of service I got.

 

This is so weird. My paranoia would be working overtime!

 

:iagree: I would be checking for stolen items, changing the locks, and watching my bank accounts like a HAWK.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I would be livid. I would call the mom and tell her that she violated the specific instructions and trespassed into the rest of the house. They would not get business from me again and that I would make sure that everyone in the neighborhood knew that these people were highly untrustworthy. They were hired to do a job, not use your home as they pleased. I would also take inventory to make sure that nothing was missing. If anything was, I would file a police report.

[Momma_Bear]

CREEPY!!!

 

Step 1: Tell them in no uncertain terms that what they did was unacceptable. You hired them to feed and water pets, let dogs outside to potty and THAT WAS IT! Make it clear that you will never hire the dd ever again since they assumed they could use your house as their vacation home. Pay bill if animals were taken care of properly. If not, deduct a percentage for services not being rendered properly.

 

Step 2: Check your house from top to bottom and inside out. Catalog anything missing and if you find anything of value gone, call police, make report.

 

Step 3: Get your locks changed. Though they may just be whackadoodles, it could be worse. My parents had a housesitter whose father made copies of the keys so he could come back and steal. It took my parents a cople of episodes of missing items to figure out who was behind it.

 

Too, too creepy.

The people you have described sound like individuals casing the place.

 

Faith

 

:iagree:

[SweetMissMagnolia]

definately wouldn't hire them again---totally rude and not professional.....totally agree with you.....ugh

[Jean in Newcastle]

My 10 year old has a pet sitting gig this weekend. I go over with her because of her age to make sure she is doing things correctly. We will go in, refresh the cat's water and food, clean the litter box and pet the cat if he is lonely. We won't open any closed doors. We won't look at personal items. If the family had kids we wouldn't play with toys.

[Jeannie in NJ]

I would be livid. We go away about once a year, anywhere from 3 days up to 8 days. We use either our adult neighbor that all our cats know or when she is unavailable we use our adult nephew. Neither of them have ever gone into closed rooms (we close off every room except the open area of living/dining/kitchen/sunroom), it is just easier for them to take care of the cats if they don't have to go searching for them. Both neighbor and nephew treat it like a job, they come in , take care of cats, play with them and leave. THe only thing different when we come back is all the mail and newspapers that have been brought in.

[Wildcat]

.

 

Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat

[QueenCat]

I would be mentally taking an inventory of any valuables/collectibles/whatever and go see if they are still there. Especially things in file cabinets or closets~~ anywhere you have something 'hidden' or 'tucked away'. It wouldn't surprise me if these people took their time going through every nook and cranny of your house... including financial records!

 

I would spread the word about them, too. I feel bad for the child trying to earn money, but the mother is too much of a liability to allow possession of a house key--- your neighbors will thank you.

 

I totally agree with others that they could have been casing the place, if they haven't stolen already. Change your locks. Take an inventory & if things are missing, file a police report.

 

:iagree:With all of the above. Your neighbors really need to be told, it's not gossip, you could very easily be preventing crime.

[justamouse]

I would be flat out FURIOUS. And I would do what Faithmanor said. Inventory everything, and tell them what they did was absolutely Unacceptable.

 

I would also tell neighbors that they weren't to be trusted.

 

Seriously, WHO does stuff like this? What rock do they live under? Do people not have ANY sense of propriety?

[BlessedMom]

Absolutely inappropriate behavior in my opinion!

[Laurie4b]

Normal pet-sitting is what you expected. I would feel violated, too. I'd never ask the girl to pet sit again. Don't know if I'd say something further to the family or not. If I knew a neighbor was thinking of hiring her, I would definitely share my experience.

 

ETA: read the other responses. I agree with taking inventory, especially with noticing whether anything on your desks was moved (where bills, credit card info, etc. would be.) I might consider calling the police just for their advice, not necessarily to make a report.

 

It really depends on whether you feel these were just people who were taking a mini-staycation at your house, however terribly inappropriate that is, or whether you feel there might be criminal intent. I'm inclined to think from your story (that they didn't act surprised, startled, or make excuses) that it was the former, but you and your dh were there. Go with your gut.

Edited July 7, 2012 by Laurie4b

[chepyl]

Weird weird weird.

 

I would not hire an 11 year old (even with mother) to dogsit.

 

It was totally weird and unacceptable! But I would not write off all 11 year olds. I have a 10 year old dance student who is an amazing pet sitter.

 

I agree about changing.locls and checking.valuables.

[Amber in SJ]

Could be worse....

 

I know someone who hired a teenager to water her plants, put the mail in a bin in the backyard, etc while they were on vacation. There was no need for him to enter the house at all.

 

He broke in, stole some panties and left some very graphic letters on her computer.

 

They assumed it wasn't him from the graphic nature of the letters and called the police. The teenager was caught when he went back for more undies.

 

Amber in SJ

[Dmmetler]

Yes, I'd feel violated given what you set up-although I can understand a cat sitter looking for the litter box, especially if they have cats at home that cannot tolerate a messy one. I have one who will show her displeasure within a day or two. But I don't think they should have gone into the toy room and let the kids play, or brought extra people over.

 

 

Having said that, I'm on my second set of child pet-sitters with mom assisting, both homeschool families, and in both cases I've been clear with mom up front that if she had to bring the younger kids, I wasn't going to try to make her tell them that they couldn't play with all those neat, new toys-the only thing I asked was that things that DD explicitly had set up, like Lego creations or playmobil dioramas, be left intact. So far, both have done so. Both of the moms have been really, really good at making sure their kids cleaned up-although I did once get a note written in 6 yr old boy handwriting explaining that DD's roboraptor needed batteries :).

 

For my first family, where the daughter started when she was a little older than your 11 yr old, it only was for the first year or so that she came with mom and little brother. Once she was about 13 or so, mom let her ride her bike to our house, and she'd bring our school books and spend hours working and reading in quiet, which the cats LOVED :). She still comes occasionally, but as a high school senior taking mostly college dual enrollment classes and competing on a travel soccer team, she's often not available. Our next in line is an 8 yr old little boy who lives in the same neighborhood, who walks over with his mom and 3 yr old little brother. They come to our house fairly often anyway since DD and the 8 yr old enjoy building legos, so DD knows the little brother loves her toy castle and figures and leaves it out for him :). I figure we should be good on pet sitting for awhile unless one or the other of us moves, because by the time the 8 yr old gets too busy, the 3 yr old should be ready to move into the job.:)

[Mommy22alyns]

That's extremely weird and I'd be very put out and never hire them again. :glare: