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can I have some hugs .. .

gardenmom5

By gardenmom5,
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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

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I mentioned on another thread that dudeling was put in school - becasue his needs were far too much for one person to meet.  (and we're in a super good district with great support.)

yes, it's been a long day.  yes, - he fights about 90% of any school work. every. day.  yes - just yesterday I had the talk with him about not wasting 30 minutes arguing about doing work (a math page) that would only take him 10 minutes. oh - and I don't love him because I won't let him to nothing but play on the computer.  (I've had a thought for a new tactic on that one . . . )

 

tonight was curriculum night.  brand spankin' new building.  he has one teacher that my 1 & 2 ds had more than a decade ago.  (he's awesome.)   dh went up and introduced himself - MrW's comment about dudeling was "he's different" (compared to older sons.).  and he never knows what kind of mood he'll be in.  'well

, he's autistic'. . . . 

 

just, I'm tired.  I want to collapse in a puddle and cry.

 

 

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I mentioned on another thread that dudeling was put in school - becasue his needs were far too much for one person to meet.  (and we're in a super good district with great support.)

yes, it's been a long day.  yes, - he fights about 90% of any school work. every. day.  yes - just yesterday I had the talk with him about not wasting 30 minutes arguing about doing work (a math page) that would only take him 10 minutes. oh - and I don't love him because I won't let him to nothing but play on the computer.  (I've had a thought for a new tactic on that one . . . )

 

tonight was curriculum night.  brand spankin' new building.  he has one teacher that my 1 & 2 ds had more than a decade ago.  (he's awesome.)   dh went up and introduced himself - MrW's comment about dudeling was "he's different" (compared to older sons.).  and he never knows what kind of mood he'll be in.  'well

, he's autistic'. . . . 

 

just, I'm tired.  I want to collapse in a puddle and cry.

 

You can have a big hug from me. (((((G)))))  I wish it would do more good than be...a hug.  This is hard stuff.

 

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luuknam

luuknam

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:grouphug:

 

I mentioned on another thread that dudeling was put in school - becasue his needs were far too much for one person to meet.  (and we're in a super good district with great support.)

yes, it's been a long day.  yes, - he fights about 90% of any school work. every. day.  yes - just yesterday I had the talk with him about not wasting 30 minutes arguing about doing work (a math page) that would only take him 10 minutes. oh - and I don't love him because I won't let him to nothing but play on the computer.  (I've had a thought for a new tactic on that one . . . )

 

tonight was curriculum night.  brand spankin' new building.  he has one teacher that my 1 & 2 ds had more than a decade ago.  (he's awesome.)   dh went up and introduced himself - MrW's comment about dudeling was "he's different" (compared to older sons.).  and he never knows what kind of mood he'll be in.  'well, he's autistic'. . . .

 

BTDT wrt first paragraph (though the putting in school was at 3yo, it was rough because I'd wanted to homeschool since before he was born). When mine tries something like complaining I don't love him because he doesn't get as much electronics time as he wants I tend to give him less electronics time. But it's not fun because he *really* doesn't like that.

 

I wasn't there, but I don't think the teacher's comments are necessarily an issue. Saying the kid is different could just be acknowledging to you that this kid is harder, and the comment about not knowing what mood he'll be in could be fishing for any possible guidance you might have (some kids have out-of-the-ordinary 'tells').

 

Anyway, more :grouphug:

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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

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Life with a kid "on the spectrum" can be quite the roller coaster ride. Here's hoping that tomorrow goes more smoothly!

 

you know .. . THAT, is. so. true.  :tongue_smilie:   I also have to remember how far he has come.

 

You can have a big hug from me. (((((G)))))  I wish it would do more good than be...a hug.  This is hard stuff.

 

well, you're the one who moved  away  . . . . ;)

 

 

 

 

  I don't think the teacher's comments are necessarily an issue. Saying the kid is different could just be acknowledging to you that this kid is harder, and the comment about not knowing what mood he'll be in could be fishing for any possible guidance you might have (some kids have out-of-the-ordinary 'tells').

 

Anyway, more 

I really don't have a problem with his comments per se (both of my older boys had him for a two-hour math/science block program. we're all sorry the district isn't offering it anymore.) . . it was just the reminder of how different he is from his own siblings when they were this age (now 20s/30s/), let alone kids his age. 

 

I've also been parenting long enough - I take most stuff my kids say with a grain of salt.   for an 11 to tell me I don't love him because I make him do school work and not let him play on the computer doesn't do much more than make me roll my eyes. :nopity:  (though sometimes it does provoke :smilielol5: )  - especially when I know when bedtime comes, he'll be loath to let go of me.  (for years bedtime was a major undertaking.  he still needs long hugs, and to be tucked in.)

 

 

1ds and his delight at "oh look, teenage angst" . . .  <_<  :sneaky2:    since you think it's so funny - YOU deal with him! (he's really good with him.)  I'm not looking forward to dealing with this kid as a teen.      :svengo:

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Crimson Wife

Crimson Wife

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 it was just the reminder of how different he is from his own siblings when they were this age (now 20s/30s/), let alone kids his age.

 

Oh, yeah, I can definitely relate to that. I try to keep in mind that my child's development is not a race and as long as she's making progress along her own curve, it doesn't matter that her older siblings were on a very different curve.

 

Stupid little things can set me off, though. Like the other day, the teacher sent home the 2nd grade version of the Scholastic Book Club order form. I never order from Scholastic but the last 2 years with the K and 1st grade ones there were phonics readers that I could've ordered for my DD had I so desired. The 2nd grade version, however, only had chapter books. Most were Magic Treehouse type books but some of them were longer chapter books. It just reminded me that my older 2 kids were reading those kinds of books at 4 and 5 while my youngest is almost 8 and still on phonics readers.

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Tap

Tap

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

It breaks my heart when I realize how different dd9 is from my older kids. The first day of school had me in tears this year.  She is in her 2nd year a special school for kids with behaviors. She is in 4th grade but doing 1st/2nd grade work still. When she started there they said most kids are there less than a year, max 18 months. She is well past that and the end is no where in site yet. They had an issue the first day with her that required me to pick her up.  As I was driving to get her, I passed by a traditional BM elementary school.  The kids were getting out for the day.  All dressed in their first day outfits, laughing and joking with their friends, piling on to school buses and into waiting arms of the caregivers standing in a line chatting.  

 

I got buzzed into her school.She tends to rip her clothes when she is mad. so her clothes are not a new back to school outfit, but a t-shirt and athletic shorts from last year. I picked up my sweaty-from-a-massive-tantrum daughter who was definitely not happy. Offered to pay for the clothes of the teacher that she ruined (grabbed the back of her teachers shirt), And realized that my life will never again be those parents chatting in a line waiting to pick up their happy, sparkly kids.

 

 One of the hardest things i have ever had to hear, was when, within the same week, 2 specialists (true specialists in their fields not just with a special degree) told me that they had "no idea what to do to help her anymore. She was on a downward spiral and there was no end in sight.  It is amazing how such a short sentence from their mouths, made me feel like someone had kicked me in the gut.  I was so used to at least some level of optimism from them and every time I asked for a new idea or for some guidance, there was always something they could offer.  Even if I didn't think their suggestion would work, at least it was there.  Hearing them both say they had used all their expertise and even borrowed some from others, and we were still in a state of chaos with her, was devastating.  I am sure it was similar when the teacher made his comments. To hear someone who had worked with your other kids and who you likely heard lots of positive things from.....to hearing that your younger son is different and has variable moods, was different that you had hoped the conversation would go. I realy hope things turn around, get better and that your son finds his groove......And that the teacher finds some more positive things about your son to lead in with at your conference.  :grouphug:

 

 

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gardenmom5

gardenmom5

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

It breaks my heart when I realize how different dd9 is from my older kids. The first day of school had me in tears this year.  She is in her 2nd year a special school for kids with behaviors. She is in 4th grade but doing 1st/2nd grade work still. When she started there they said most kids are there less than a year, max 18 months. She is well past that and the end is no where in site yet. They had an issue the first day with her that required me to pick her up.  As I was driving to get her, I passed by a traditional BM elementary school.  The kids were getting out for the day.  All dressed in their first day outfits, laughing and joking with their friends, piling on to school buses and into waiting arms of the caregivers standing in a line chatting.  

 

I got buzzed into her school.She tends to rip her clothes when she is mad. so her clothes are not a new back to school outfit, but a t-shirt and athletic shorts from last year. I picked up my sweaty-from-a-massive-tantrum daughter who was definitely not happy. Offered to pay for the clothes of the teacher that she ruined (grabbed the back of her teachers shirt), And realized that my life will never again be those parents chatting in a line waiting to pick up their happy, sparkly kids.

 

 One of the hardest things i have ever had to hear, was when, within the same week, 2 specialists (true specialists in their fields not just with a special degree) told me that they had "no idea what to do to help her anymore. She was on a downward spiral and there was no end in sight.  It is amazing how such a short sentence from their mouths, made me feel like someone had kicked me in the gut.  I was so used to at least some level of optimism from them and every time I asked for a new idea or for some guidance, there was always something they could offer.  Even if I didn't think their suggestion would work, at least it was there.  Hearing them both say they had used all their expertise and even borrowed some from others, and we were still in a state of chaos with her, was devastating.  I am sure it was similar when the teacher made his comments. To hear someone who had worked with your other kids and who you likely heard lots of positive things from.....to hearing that your younger son is different and has variable moods, was different that you had hoped the conversation would go. I realy hope things turn around, get better and that your son finds his groove......And that the teacher finds some more positive things about your son to lead in with at your conference.  :grouphug:

 

 

I'm so sorry.  I could see this having been dudeling if I'd stayed with my former ped.  he threw a fit because dudeling wouldn't stand on the scale.  I'd been taking my kids to him since my oldest was a newborn.  it was the last straw, and I was gone.

 

I started him with a DAN! naturopath when he was five? six?

I'd asked former ped about where to find a DAN!  - he pointed me somewhere completely different.  I joined a local asd parent group - and learned that former ped's extensive practice basically denied most cases even exist.   (my own ND is across the hall from one of their clinics.  they often have parents leave that clinic, walk into their naturopathic clinic - ask if they treat__ without rx, and make an appointment.

I found my DAN! via searching online - and I lucked out.  she's highly regarded in our local asd community.  and I attribute much of how dudeling is doing to her care.  the other DAN! ND they recommend is three hours away.

 

dh referred one of his clients to her.  she'd been at the end of her rope in helping her son - no one could help him anymore, . . he got an e-mail from the client several weeks later, practically in tears, because of the dramatic improvement in a matter of weeks with dudleing's ND.

I don't want to think about where we'd be without her.

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