S/O Chatting on the phone

[TexasProud]

So someone mentioned I should call people and tell them I just want to vent.

Umm... the only people I talk to on the phone are my children and my MIL.  I haven't had a call just to "chat" with a friend since since.... maybe college in the 80's?? And we only had land lines then.   I mean, I know I used to at least call people as part of my organizations and stuff, but I think in the last decade I text or email.  I don't remember the last time I called someone other than my family. 

Do you talk on the phone? I'm just curious if I am an outlier. 

[Rosie_0801]

I hate talking on the phone, and the sort of people I might have called back in the olden days before text messaging are at work, dealing with their kids, possibly in different time zones. So we text.

I have two people who call me and they have me trained to answer. 😂 It makes me feel like Pavlov's dogs, I see their names and I answer even when I don't want to. 😂

[marbel]

I talk on the phone sometimes but not very often. It's not my favorite, but sometimes it's the best way to connect/communicate with someone. 

I don't just randomly call people and expect them to be able to chat in the moment, though. My main communication mode is texting, but if there is a lot to say we arrange a call at a good time. I think of it as a coffee or drinks date, but at home. I get comfortable, get something to drink, pee before I start, call the person at the appointed time, and enjoy a chat. 

ETA: I should add: most of the people I have phone chats with live far away, so an in-person chat isn't going to happen.

Edited August 30, 2023 by marbel

[SquirrellyMama]

As a teen and 20 something I was on the phone for hours with friends. It is now an activity that I hate. Just send me a text or let's get together in person.

Kelly

[Kassia]

I hate talking on the phone too and pretty much only do it with my kids.  I talk to them pretty regularly so I do housework when I talk to them.  It distracts me from the unpleasant housework and I feel like I'm being productive while I'm on the phone.  I may not do the best cleaning job but it's good enough.  

 

@SquirrellyMama I remember those long phone calls too from when I was younger!  🙂  

[Pawz4me]

I've always hated talking on the phone (yes, even when I was a teen).

[kbutton]

I would rather talk than have to text nonstop for twenty minutes.

I would enjoy talking with far flung people more often, but I don’t feel like I usually have a lot of pleasant things to talk about.

I need to call my Grandma more often! 

[Katy]

Maybe to my mom, one sibling, and one aunt. Everyone else I just text. 

[City Mouse]

When my DH is driving long distances and I am not with him, he will call and we will chat while he drives. I do the same thing because I find talking while thriving helps keep me alert. 
My mom used to call me and we would talk for quite a while. Really though, she would talk and I would make appropriate listening sounds as needed. She is in a nursing home now and can’t hear to use the phone anymore.

I have one long-time friend that I can talk to on the phone for hours. We used to live in the same town and could get together and talk for hours in person. We talk about everything and nothing all at the same time. She is the only close friend I have.

I have recently reconnected with my older sister, and I have been surprised how much we talk on the phone. We did not get along as kids at all and took different paths in our adult lives. We only started talking in our mid 50’s when our mom went bonkers. (Long story there)

[SKL]

With close family, I have long phone conversations from time to time.  I can't do it too often, because I have a job etc., but a couple times a month, I enjoy it.  Some of it is me venting, some of it is being an ear for someone else ... and both leave me with a good feeling, usually.

Otherwise, I pretty much hate talking on the phone.

[mmasc]

I talk to my mom and my best friend on the phone (and enjoy it). Everyone else is a text if possible. 

[Spryte]

I don’t love the phone but —

DH and I talk on the phone when he travels, if we can make the time zones work. I’ll basically drop everything to talk with him — it’s a limited time that works, usually, so when we can connect, I’m there.

My bestie from college and I mostly text but occasionally catch up on the phone because there are things you can say that are hard to write in text. We vent and catch up and laugh in text a lot, too.

My local bestie and I text each other, and say something like, “I need to talk about x, coffee’s ready, what time will you be here?” And then we spend the day chatting. We only make actual phone calls in emergencies.

 

[TexasProud]

3 minutes ago, Spryte said:

I don’t love the phone but —

DH and I talk on the phone when he travels, if we can make the time zones work. I’ll basically drop everything to talk with him — it’s a limited time that works, usually, so when we can connect, I’m there.

 

 

Now. Yeah, that is true.  When he is in Kenya, we talk every day at lunchtime ( which is his bedtime) for thirty minutes to an hour. So yeah,  I do that.

But it would never in a million years feel ok for me to call a friend now.  I would be interrupting them. I don't know. That just feels really wrong to me. 

[Bambam]

I don't like talking on the phone much, and I rarely did until COVID.
There were several widow/single/elderly ladies in our congregation who were pretty isolated, so I tried to call each one once/week. I ended up regularly calling three of the ladies. I've gotten to know them more over those two bad years, and they had some interesting stories to tell. I visit, in person, one regularly, but we talk on the phone when she is too weak/tired for visitors. I still call one of the other ladies maybe 2-3 times a month.  I'm really glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and starting calling these ladies. They are wonderful people, and without those phone calls, I never would have gotten to know them so well. I consider it a blessing to be their friend. 

I rarely talk to my kids on the phone, and if we do talk on the phone, it is a video call. We usually message each other. 

Edited August 31, 2023 by Bambam

[KungFuPanda]

I’m gonna start putting “comfortable with telephone conversation and initiating calls” on my resume. 

[Spryte]

10 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Now. Yeah, that is true.  When he is in Kenya, we talk every day at lunchtime ( which is his bedtime) for thirty minutes to an hour. So yeah,  I do that.

But it would never in a million years feel ok for me to call a friend now.  I would be interrupting them. I don't know. That just feels really wrong to me. 

But they are your friends, and friends care.

However, I don’t just call anyone either. But I still have those talks with friends!

When you quoted me and responded with the above about your DH, you cut out the rest of my post, in which I said:

16 minutes ago, Spryte said:

My bestie from college and I mostly text but occasionally catch up on the phone because there are things you can say that are hard to write in text. We vent and catch up and laugh in text a lot, too.

My local bestie and I text each other, and say something like, “I need to talk about x, coffee’s ready, what time will you be here?” And then we spend the day chatting. We only make actual phone calls in emergencies.

 

My second example there feels pretty relevant if you only want to text your friends, and not call them on the phone. A text isn’t an interruption, and once we have an exchange going if one or the other of us need it, we say so. And then one of us jumps in the car. We do this at least weekly. Sometimes more. 

Actually, my first example is really the same. My college bestie (of 30 years) and I text jokes and share bits and pieces of our lives but when one of us needs to talk, we say so in the text thread, and then we have a call. So it’s not just picking up the phone and calling. There’s a conversation and asking, “is it a good time for you? I need to talk!”

[fairfarmhand]

I have a couple friends who, like me are super busy. If we didn’t talk on the phone we’d probably go weeks without talking. 
so I put on my headset and clean or garden and talk on the phone wi th them. They also are very good at “talking me down” when I’m upset. Seriously it’s the best thing for me. 

[fairfarmhand]

45 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Now. Yeah, that is true.  When he is in Kenya, we talk every day at lunchtime ( which is his bedtime) for thirty minutes to an hour. So yeah,  I do that.

But it would never in a million years feel ok for me to call a friend now.  I would be interrupting them. I don't know. That just feels really wrong to me. 

Generally I send a preview text. “Is now a good time to chat?” And we’re all free to not pick up. They don’t expect me to drop everything nor do I expect that of them. If they can’t talk they call me back later.

[kathyl]

I only talk to my kids on the phone.  Rarely, my dh.  And if any of these start texting and it seems like it's going to go on forever, I just call right then.  They can answer or not.  But I'm not sitting there texting forever because I've never mastered the art of fast texting.  It's slow and annoying for me.  My thumbs are too fat, and I have to sit and pick out letters with one finger.

Even when I was young, I didn't talk to other girls on the phone except briefly to make plans to meet somewhere.  The only people I talked to for a long time were boyfriends.

[Elizabeth86]

I only talk to my mom. I much prefer texting because I have 5 kids so phone conversation are hard. I did call my bff and some family pre-kids.

[marbel]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

But it would never in a million years feel ok for me to call a friend now.  I would be interrupting them. I don't know. That just feels really wrong to me. 

That's why people text to ask to set up a good time. Texting isn't an interruption. At least, I don't know of anyone who thinks of a text that way. 

[Melissa Louise]

I talk to my best friend probably 3 x week on the phone. 

[Scarlett]

I have several friends I talk to on the phone.  My best friend from child hood and I often talk for two or three hours straight. We usually text and say, ‘can you talk?’  But I will call her without a text if I have something specific to ask or tell her.  She can answer or not. 
 

 

[Kassia]

3 hours ago, kathyl said:

I only talk to my kids on the phone.  Rarely, my dh.  And if any of these start texting and it seems like it's going to go on forever, I just call right then.  They can answer or not.  But I'm not sitting there texting forever because I've never mastered the art of fast texting.  It's slow and annoying for me.  My thumbs are too fat, and I have to sit and pick out letters with one finger.

 

I struggle with texting but use discord on my laptop with two of my kids regularly.  It works so much better than texting for me.

[Momof4sweetkids]

My mom and I use an app called Marco Polo, or there's an app called Voxer if you don't want video. It makes it so you can have a conversation whenever is convenient for you because the messages save and can be responded to whenever.  I only call my mom if I have an urgent question. I don't chat with friends over call or text, only make plans to meet up.

 

[DawnM]

Yes!   I talk on the phone to friends pretty much daily.   My phone log (cell phone) shows my average minutes per month as over 3,000.   I have always been like this.   I love talking on the phone to the same people I love talking to in person.   I don't like talking on the phone to the same people I don't like talking to in person.  🤣

[Hannah]

I set up 'coffee and a chat' phone dates with friends that live too far to see in person about once every six weeks or so each, for three of them.  When we do start talking the conversation can go on for an hour or more!

We have a family Zoom date with my parents, their six kids and grandkids every Sunday.  We gather from Africa, Europe and Asia.  It started during the pandemic and has continued.  People might be cooking or doing other things while they chat.  I do sometimes find the timing annoying, but opt out if we're busy.

My sister who lives in Ireland phones me randomly (using WhatsApp) when she walks her dog - I'm happy to tell her if its convenient to talk or not.  Other than the Zoom meeting, the others only communicate via text.

I phone my children on the way home from work on most days - they will tell me if they can talk or not.

Other friends I may occasionally text (via WhatsApp).

ETA:  WhatsApp can be used on the laptop too, which makes typing easier.

Edited August 31, 2023 by Hannah

[Clarita]

If I want a response in 1-2 lines I use the group email, text, or messaging app that those friend groups have (depends on the group and which setup we have going). If I want to write a paragraph about my troubles I call or I text to meet. If it's one line like "Ugh can you believe my family member is so annoying ..." then again it'd be a text or messaging app (depends on the group and/or the friend).

My mom we use whatsapp and all of the options, talk, video, and/or type.

As a teen there were a few friends where I messaged, talked, and texted all at the same time because we had that much to talk about. 

5 hours ago, TexasProud said:

But it would never in a million years feel ok for me to call a friend now.  I would be interrupting them. I don't know. That just feels really wrong to me. 

What?! Goodness we are full grown adults if the friends don't want to answer my call they just don't and they can call or text me back. If I need a response right away I call someone else. Usually if I'm just whining, I really don't need my friend's attention RIGHT NOW and they can talk to me when they have time. I mean my cell phone even has canned answers I can text my friends when they call and I don't want to (or can't) answer. A phone call from a friend is never an interruption (I just might not be able to take the call right at that moment).

[KidsHappen]

I have always hated talking on the phone. There are a few people that if they called I would answer because I know that the only reason they would call would be an emergency. I used to talk to my brother on the phone because he was a long distance truck driver and sometimes needed to talk to someone on the phone to keep him alert. 

[Melanie32]

I loved talking on the phone when I was younger! Now I don’t enjoy it much but I still talk on it often. My mom and I talk regularly as she lives 4 hrs away. My sister calls when she needs a counselor.🤣 My dear friend and I will text and set up a time to chat over the phone once a month or so. She’s always been super busy with 5 kids and her teaching job so it’s rare that we can get together in person even though she’s local.

My son calls just to chat at least once a week, usually when he’s feeling philosophical, lol. I see him in person a few times a week but if he’s just driving for work he’ll call to chat. My husband calls me everyday to chat while at work, at least once a day. 
 

I get a little impatient with all the phone calls sometimes but remind myself to be thankful that my family wants to talk to me. 
 

I don’t really call anyone just to vent except for my sister if she isn’t busy, which she usually is! I just talk to my daughter, my husband or my MIL. 

[Eos]

I like to talk on the phone.  I don't have a smartphone or text capacity, and I talk every day with my mother and at least one of my kids.  I sometimes video chat on the computer but I don't like that quite as much. 

If I need to clarify something with a store or business I much prefer to call than try to look up the answer on the internet.  The invention of the "if you need this, press 4" menus on business/organization phones are horrible and I try to always speak to a human if I can.

[TexasProud]

Interesting.

Yes, I was one of those girls in the eighties and nineties who used to spend hours on the phone. I like some of the systems some of you explained. 

I think it is a skill I have lost.  Actually, I kind of think I lost a lot of skills since the lockdown.  Social interactions just feel harder. I feel out of touch. 

Thanks everyone for replying.  I appreciate it. 

[scholastica]

I have two friends I talk to on the phone regularly. In each case, we are at the same stage of life and have known each other for a long time. We process what we’re going through with kids, parents, life, etc. together. I also talk with one of my sisters fairly regularly.

[ScoutTN]

I do like to talk on the phone. In person is better, but not always possible in our busy lives. 

I detest real conversations by text! That ends up being multiple interruptions, requires me to look at my phone, takes way longer and doesn’t have the flow of a good conversation. As@fairfarmhand said, I can put on a headset and talk while I work. I don’t generally make or receive calls while driving - too distracting. Texting is for quick things: I am running late. Please stop and get something at the grocery. Is now a good time? Yes, that’s done. I left it on the table.

I call my mom several times a week to check on her, local friends occasionally to chat, and with one long distance friend every month or so. 
 

I am a talkative and extroverted person generally and process things by talking about them. Writing works too, but not as well.

Edited August 31, 2023 by ScoutTN

[cintinative]

Texting is convenient, BUT, there is a lot that you miss via text, just like via email.  You miss the intonation of the person's voice, their hesitation, their emotion.  I get that talking on the phone can be taxing. In person is going to be better 99.9% of the time. But I do think there are times when talking on the phone is better than text, and I am guilty at times of opting for a text when I know deep down a call is better. So I will play the other side of this argument and say sometimes we need to make that call because we know the other person needs to hear our voice, or we need to hear theirs.

This is probably another thread altogether, but there are a lot of kids struggling with disconnection and loneliness. And while some may say correlation doesn't equal causation, I would argue that all of those hours I spent in the 80s on the phone served to connect me better with my peers. 

Like it or not, we are influenced by all we take in and all we behold. So a question we could be asking ourselves is--am I modeling healthy connection with others to my kids and what does that look like for me? Is it phone calls, texts, in person meetings?  Because I'll wager some of us are accepting a lesser version of connection due to busy lives.  It's not easy to maintain good connection with others.  

[fairfarmhand]

22 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

I do like to talk on the phone. In person is better, but not always possible in our busy lives. 

I detest real conversations by text! That ends up being multiple interruptions, requires me to look at my phone, takes way longer and doesn’t have the flow of a good conversation. As@fairfarmhand said, I can put on a headset and talk while I work. I don’t generally make or receive calls while driving - too distracting. Texting is for quick things: I am running late. Please stop and get something at the grocery. Is now a good time? Yes, that’s done. I left it on the table.

I call my mom several times a week to check on her, local friends occasionally to chat, and with one long distance friend every month or so. 
 

I am a talkative and extroverted person generally and process things by talking about them. Writing works too, but not as well.

I'm not particularly talkative or extroverted, but talking to someone helps me get out of my own head. After awhile, I start circling problems in my head and they turn into something bigger than they should be. When I get it out to a real person, I'm able to set it down more effectively. 

[ScoutTN]

12 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I’m gonna start putting “comfortable with telephone conversation and initiating calls” on my resume. 

This. 😎

[Murphy101]

I talk on the phone with my kids and 5 other people I love bunches a LOT. But we also text a LOT. And see each other in person a LOT. We just can’t get enough of each other I guess.  My LOT is defined by hearing everyone else say they hardly ever communicate at all and it’s usually brief  unless it’s a holiday - which I think is crazy bizarre but whatever for them. My LOT is at least weekly one hour phone calls, maybe more.  Texting is multiple times a week  seeing each other is at least weekly but not unusual to be  2-4 times a week or to go a trip together.

Everyone else not those family members plus 5?

They are acquaintances. No contact unless they need me for something. Then it’s usually a text or email that I might not respond to for a couple days or until I see them again. 

[Murphy101]

I will say that more than 2-3 consecutive texts in a row will have us call each other bc obviously we just need to have a chat about it. Unless we can’t chat out loud for some reason and then we continue on.
 

I’m not extroverted but that might make me clingy to those I do click with and want to be around? Idk. But I’m not scared of socializing. I have to plan my days around decompression time built into each day or I quickly end up an exhausted moody hot mess that even I don’t want to be around.

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

I'm not particularly talkative or extroverted, but talking to someone helps me get out of my own head. After awhile, I start circling problems in my head and they turn into something bigger than they should be. When I get it out to a real person, I'm able to set it down more effectively. 

Yes, I am sure that would be helpful.  I just know no one I would do that with. 

[Lady Florida.]

Other than during my teen years I always hated talking on the phone. My mom loved it and would talk for literally hours with friends or one of her sisters. She used to call me all the time just to tell me one thing then I'd have trouble getting off the phone. It was one of the things I regretted after she died. Even now 15 years later there are times I wish I could pick up the phone to tell or ask her something, or answer the phone and let her chat about nothing/everything.

My niece must have inherited mom's love of talking on the phone. She's a millennial so you would expect her to prefer texting but she likes talking on the phone better. She's one of the few people I enjoy chatting to on the phone. 

 

[fairfarmhand]

5 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, I am sure that would be helpful.  I just know no one I would do that with. 

Why not?

[Pam in CT]

text -> set up a mutually good time to chat

20 hours ago, marbel said:

...I don't just randomly call people and expect them to be able to chat in the moment, though. My main communication mode is texting, but if there is a lot to say we arrange a call at a good time. I think of it as a coffee or drinks date, but at home. I get comfortable, get something to drink, pee before I start, call the person at the appointed time, and enjoy a chat. 

ETA: I should add: most of the people I have phone chats with live far away, so an in-person chat isn't going to happen.

This.  I have a couple of good friends and a cousin-who's-like-a-sister who live 4++ hours away, and we often text "LMK good time to chat" and set up a time.  Now that we're all super-dooper-computer-wizards we often zoom or facetime or, just chat the old fashioned way.  In person is obvi better but one of the besties is in Colorado; that's not happening with any frequency.

And also yes to the cup of coffee or glass of wine!

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

Why not?

Well, both Covid and empty nest ( which were the same year...) revealed just how much all of my relationships were activity based. My daughter played volleyball, so I visited with parents in the stands.  I saw people at Sunday school on Sunday mornings and maybe 3 or 4 times when we had our class parties, but not outside of that. Earlier, I saw people in homeschool co-op.  When I taught, I saw them at school.  But I never called people outside of that. Ever. 

So now, I basically have my best friend, and we will text.  But she teaches full time, has a brand new grandbaby, and she is one of the youth leaders in addition to being the pastor's wife. Her in-laws have been unwell and they have had to go take care of  them.

  Another friend that I do text has a dyslexic kid she is trying to help in college/trade school. He is at home and 21.  She has another boy who is a high school junior who plays football and does tons of 4H stuff. He builds things and they travel all over to the shows. He has gotten quite a bit of scholarship money already. Then, she has a 1st grade girl in dance, cheer and such.  She also works full time at a college.  Her mom lives nearby and she takes care of her as well. Oh, and she is in charge of youth since we lost our youth director around Thanksgiving last year. 

The third friend in my prayer group has two boys 6th and 11th grade, also in a ton of activities.  She works full time as an accountant. Her parents are very unwell and like this week she had to take her mom to the ER.   Her husband is a high school principal and soccer coach.  They go to a lot of soccer club tournaments and such.

Then I have acquaintances that I have known throughout the years that I have drifted away as the activities ended/our kids graduated. Some of them live in a different town. 

So, do you see why, I hesitate to intrude on their already very, very full lives. 

Edited August 31, 2023 by TexasProud

[Melissa Louise]

Friends aren't meant to be an intrusion - they're meant to be part of a full life. IMO>

[Rosie_0801]

25 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

So, do you see why, I hesitate to intrude on their already very, very full lives. 

For all you know, they don't call you because they're afraid to intrude on your life. *shrug*

I have a mate I drop in on every few weeks or months in a town 40mins away and never call ahead because I don't want to. They would rather I show up without calling than not show up because I don't like calling. This works because I am grown up enough to cope if they tell me they're too busy and they're grown up enough to tell me if they're busy. A few months back, I dropped in, we yakked for two hours, then they kicked me out so they could go grocery shopping, but told me to come back in an hour and a half, which I did, then we yakked for another three hours. 

"Hey. You busy?" is a normal thing to say to people.

[fairfarmhand]

29 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Well, both Covid and empty nest ( which were the same year...) revealed just how much all of my relationships were activity based. My daughter played volleyball, so I visited with parents in the stands.  I saw people at Sunday school on Sunday mornings and maybe 3 or 4 times when we had our class parties, but not outside of that. Earlier, I saw people in homeschool co-op.  When I taught, I saw them at school.  But I never called people outside of that. Ever. 

So now, I basically have my best friend, and we will text.  But she teaches full time, has a brand new grandbaby, and she is one of the youth leaders in addition to being the pastor's wife. Her in-laws have been unwell and they have had to go take care of  them.

  Another friend that I do text has a dyslexic kid she is trying to help in college/trade school. He is at home and 21.  She has another boy who is a high school junior who plays football and does tons of 4H stuff. He builds things and they travel all over to the shows. He has gotten quite a bit of scholarship money already. Then, she has a 1st grade girl in dance, cheer and such.  She also works full time at a college.  Her mom lives nearby and she takes care of her as well. Oh, and she is in charge of youth since we lost our youth director around Thanksgiving last year. 

The third friend in my prayer group has two boys 6th and 11th grade, also in a ton of activities.  She works full time as an accountant. Her parents are very unwell and like this week she had to take her mom to the ER.   Her husband is a high school principal and soccer coach.  They go to a lot of soccer club tournaments and such.

Then I have acquaintances that I have known throughout the years that I have drifted away as the activities ended/our kids graduated. Some of them live in a different town. 

So, do you see why, I hesitate to intrude on their already very, very full lives. 

I get that.  I really do.

I have 2 friends who live exactly the same kinds of lives as your friends and we still find time to talk. In fact during those times that things are hard with unwell parents and such, we need it even more desperately. 

You are making an assumption. If they are that busy, ask them if they're open to chatting on the phone.  They are grownups and are allowed to say so.

So how I've started these kinds of habits is this: "Friend, we're both so busy and I really miss talking to you in person. I know we can't get together for coffee weekly, so can we chat on the phone? Kind of like a virtual coffee date? I'll make coffee at my house and you make it at yours and we'll sit and chat for half and hour or so."

That kinda got me over the hump of feeling like I was intruding or people would think I was weird because I was changing a long standing pattern. Then we'd set up a time and do it. The more we did that kind of thing the more it became natural to text "Got time to talk?" and make calls without setting it up beforehand.

[fairfarmhand]

2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

For all you know, they don't call you because they're afraid to intrude on your life. *shrug*

I have a mate I drop in on every few weeks or months in a town 40mins away and never call ahead because I don't want to. They would rather I show up without calling than not show up because I don't like calling. This works because I am grown up enough to cope if they tell me they're too busy and they're grown up enough to tell me if they're busy. A few months back, I dropped in, we yakked for two hours, then they kicked me out so they could go grocery shopping, but told me to come back in an hour and a half, which I did, then we yakked for another three hours. 

"Hey. You busy?" is a normal thing to say to people.

This is a beautiful description of how friendship is supposed to work. 

I had a friend accidentally tell me the wrong time. I showed up at her house, she wasn't there but her kids were. I sat on her sofa and admired the view and drank her beverages for awhile before she got there. It was fine. 

My other friend and I do errands together. Boring stuff is so much more fun when you have a pal and we chat like crazy the whole time. 

[TexasProud]

Just now, fairfarmhand said:

 

My other friend and I do errands together. Boring stuff is so much more fun when you have a pal and we chat like crazy the whole time. 

Sounds like the Jennie Allen book... but that just seems really weird to me...let's go to Walmart together...  I don't know.  Then, I guess I wouldn't know what to say if I didn't have an agenda.  Hey, I am not giving excuses.  I might try calling them when I am camping.  But somehow describing everything we are doing would feel like rubbing it in.  

Like I said, I think I have completely forgotten the art of just chatting.  Generally, all of my conversations, including ones with the kids an, d my husband have an agenda of some kind.  Never really realized that, but yea..

So...how do you now what to talk about?

Sorry, I just need to have all the ducks in a row so I know how to do this. 

[Melissa Louise]

You just talk? 

Like, what's been going on, long running discussion updates, funny things that happened, sad things, what you might make for dinner, upcoming plans, what you watched on YouTube, mutual interests, philosophical stuff, kids...just stuff! Whatever.