What changes have you made in your life that have been positive for you mentally?

[prairiewindmomma]

leaving our church--it was high demand/low reward for us, and attending with people who didn't act like Christ-like (but really thought they did) was a huge source of internal conflict for me

matching other people's energy---if someone else isn't doing what they need to, I don't necessarily need to pick up the slack for them to get it done. Sometimes it's ok to leave things undone for a season

putting a particular kid in school---it freed up all kinds of energy and time for me, and has been great for our relationship because it eliminated a huge source of conflict

reading trashy books---I still read some high quality stuff, but the escapism of a trashy novel is a nice mental break from a heavy world

really embracing that it's ok to have some boundaries around some really toxic relationships--I don't have an obligation to allow abusive behaviors around me, even if that means not having a close relationship with some extended family

[Lady Florida.]

I think I long ago reached a stage (age?) where I knew what changes I needed to make and made them. While my changes aren't all recent, they definitely made and still make a difference in my mental health. The two biggest are:

 

--Letting go of belief in a deity - so freeing
--Regular exercise and yoga - Exercise helps me sleep better and better sleeps leads to better mental (and physical) health. Yoga always makes me feel good.

 

On 4/21/2023 at 2:10 AM, Laura Corin said:

Moving house to one with a smaller garden/yard. I felt burdened by looking after the old one and also didn't want to commit money to getting someone else to tend it.

We downsized our house and yard in 2020 and it made a big difference. Our previous house that we lived in for 20 years was not one I wanted to grow old in. The yard was too big and the house was going to need too much fixing up in the years to come. Now I can putz around in my small garden just because I want to, not because I need to.

 

On 4/21/2023 at 11:04 AM, perky said:

Stopped reading most of the news.

 

I haven't stopped but I slowed down. Every day there's something depressing in the news, especially with the political situation in my state.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Lady Florida.

[happi duck]

Made a Spotify playlist for driving that is filled with "turn it up" songs.  Keeps me from searching the dial and ending up on news.  We also use it in the house for cleaning.  My dh and dc add things to it and it a fun surprise hearing a new to me song.

[KungFuPanda]

Quit homeschooling 🤣 Ok, I didn’t quit, but I graduated my youngest and not having that work and responsibility has been nice. I got a part time job and it is so much easier and less time consuming than the homeschooling. I have no regrets, it’s just REALLY nice having grown kids and no educational responsibilities. I thought I’d be miserable and sad but I’m enjoying the free time. 
 

I also overcame Covid inertia and started teaching a few dance classes a week. I no longer teach children and the classes are in my home studio and only open to my longtime students. Instead of the big theatre stage show for the whole bellydance community, I’m only doing a small backyard party for my small classes. All of the fun and SOOOO much less work and expense. 

[*Jessica*]

Signing my daughter up for horseback riding lessons.  We started once per week, but we love it there so much that she now rides twice a week and we volunteer with the attached horse rescue.  

I was very depressed before we started this adventure, but horses have truly changed my life.  They are my therapy.  They are better than any antidepressant, and any time I am struggling I spend extra time at the farm and magically feel better.  

[livetoread]

14 minutes ago, *Jessica* said:

I was very depressed before we started this adventure, but horses have truly changed my life.  They are my therapy.  They are better than any antidepressant, and any time I am struggling I spend extra time at the farm and magically feel better.

I was a horse obsessed kid and took years of riding lessons. I used to joke that any man I married would need to understand I wanted a horse someday. Life got in the way of me being around horses and I will almost certainly never own a horse now, but thanks for the reminder of how wonderful they are.

[Corbster98]

47 minutes ago, *Jessica* said:

Signing my daughter up for horseback riding lessons.  We started once per week, but we love it there so much that she now rides twice a week and we volunteer with the attached horse rescue.  

I was very depressed before we started this adventure, but horses have truly changed my life.  They are my therapy.  They are better than any antidepressant, and any time I am struggling I spend extra time at the farm and magically feel better.  

I just LOVE this!! So glad you find solace in horses. I do as well. Just magical animals. 

[wisdomandtreasures]

Started doing stretches, an arm workout, and walking daily instead of only walking when going on a hike with my kids. Kept my weight gain for my most recent pregnancy within a reasonable amount (30 pounds total as opposed to the 50-70 pounds I normally gain) so now at 2 weeks postpartum, I am only 13 pounds over my normal weight!  Compare to 50 pounds over like with my 5th baby. 😵‍💫

Also, we bought a house that's further out of town (more $ for gas) and quite a bit more each month, but is on an acre and is more private (no hearing the druggie  neighbors screaming at each other at 3 am!), and came with mature trees. I have room for a huge garden, chickens, a mini orchard (we're at 20 fruit trees added with room for more), and I just love to sit and snuggle my baby and look out at my willow trees! Yes, it is costing us a lot money-wise but has done great things for my sanity. 🙂

[Selkie]

2 hours ago, *Jessica* said:

Signing my daughter up for horseback riding lessons.  We started once per week, but we love it there so much that she now rides twice a week and we volunteer with the attached horse rescue.  

I was very depressed before we started this adventure, but horses have truly changed my life.  They are my therapy.  They are better than any antidepressant, and any time I am struggling I spend extra time at the farm and magically feel better.  

That is so awesome. Watch out, before you know it you'll have your own herd like I do! Horses are my Zen.🙂🐴

Bless you for working at the rescue. There is such a great need for more equine rescues in this country.

[*Jessica*]

8 minutes ago, Selkie said:

That is so awesome. Watch out, before you know it you'll have your own herd like I do! Horses are my Zen.🙂🐴

Bless you for working at the rescue. There is such a great need for more equine rescues in this country.

I hope so!  My own herd would be a dream come true.  😁

[KSera]

On 4/20/2023 at 6:32 PM, kbutton said:

I love my zero drop shoes, but I can't find a wide variety. I'm not even sure where to go to replace mine. Any tips? I got into them because of plantar fasciitis as well. I need to find something--"regular" shoes no longer fit quite right now, though I've always been a bit hard to fit (where my foot curves is in a different place than most women's shoes, and my feet are narrow in the heel but normal-ish (again the curved part of my foot is in an odd place) across the toes. And more, but that's the biggest problem at the moment, lol! (Everyone in my FOO has funny feet!) 

Sorry to interrupt the main thread!

I need a lot less structure than shoes like Clark’s and Earthies. (Clark’s, Merrell and Naot were what I wore before I went minimalist, and I still had a lot of foot pain with them). I agree it can be hard to shop for, especially on a budget. Xero shoes has good sales and a wide variety now. Other options are Lems, vivobarefoot, Soft Stars, and an inexpensive brand called Whittin on Amazon that comes close (plenty of toe room and flexibility, but they have a slight arch). There are others, but those are what I can think of off the top of my head. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

3 minutes ago, KSera said:

I need a lot less structure than shoes like Clark’s and Earthies. (Clark’s, Merrell and Naot were what I wore before I went minimalist, and I still had a lot of foot pain with them). I agree it can be hard to shop for, especially on a budget. Xero shoes has good sales and a wide variety now. Other options are Lems, vivobarefoot, Soft Stars, and an inexpensive brand called Whittin on Amazon that comes close (plenty of toe room and flexibility, but they have a slight arch). There are others, but those are what I can think of off the top of my head. 

I absolutely love my Xero’s (shoes not sandals). 

[happi duck]

I wear Xero but men's because I need a wider width.

I love softstar but they discontinued my perfect shoe.

[popmom]

When my twins were born, I cut way back on television viewing. Over the years it dwindled to nothing. Zero regrets. 

Going no contact with my parents--basically my entire FOO. There is no way to describe the positive cascade effect this has had on my mental and physical wellbeing. And the positive effect on my relationships with my husband and kids. Thank you, fellow boardies for supporting me in those early days when I was waking up to how toxic those FOO relationships were.

I spend money without guilt or anxiety. I used to stress over every penny, but I've changed my mindset. I'm not stupid about it--not running up credit cards, but I'm going to buy stuff that brings me joy or adds to my quality of life. Partly I can attribute this to my stage of life.

I just bought a new tent. And just ordered a MitoPro Red Light Therapy device. I wish I had that red light already because I am so sore from yardwork today. 😉 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2023 by popmom

[Indigo Blue]

4 minutes ago, popmom said:

I'm not stupid about it--not running up credit cards, but I'm going to buy stuff that brings me joy or adds to my quality of life

Same!

Which tent did you buy? 

[popmom]

Just now, Indigo Blue said:

Same!

Which tent did you buy? 

A gigantic 12 person Bushnell tent. lol

3 of my girls are going camping with me in May. And bringing a couple of dogs along. 

[Indigo Blue]

Just now, popmom said:

A gigantic 12 person Bushnell tent. lol

3 of my girls are going camping with me in May. And bringing a couple of dogs along. 

Oh, wow! Sounds like fun!

[popmom]

3 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Oh, wow! Sounds like fun!

I'm super excited. I snagged a site (with shade!) for a full week at Grayton Beach State Park. It's a fabulous campground and a gorgeous beach--right by Seaside, FL. We will be glamping with power and water. 🙂

Edited April 22, 2023 by popmom

[Indigo Blue]

1 minute ago, popmom said:

I'm super excited. I snagged a site for a full week at Grayton Beach State Park. It's a fabulous campground and a gorgeous beach--right by Seaside, FL. We will be glamping with power and water. 🙂

Sounds like a perfect vacation. I would love that. 

[SHP]

I put myself first. I made my health a priority. My interests became a priority. 

I lowered the priority of things like cleaning house. No, I don't live in squalor, there isn't piles of food and dirty dishes stacked up everywhere. I just don’t sweep daily and many surfaces have clutter. I am no longer 5 minutes from judgemental company ready, instead I am more like 30 minutes away. But! That doesn't matter because the judgemental jerks have been cut out of my life. Those who matter, don't care about the dust bunny revolution happening in the corner. 

[MEmama]

6 hours ago, SHP said:

the dust bunny revolution

Lol. I'm totally stealing this!

Viva los dust bunnies! 🤣

[DawnM]

I don't know what a lot of these acronyms mean but glad they are making some of you happy! 🤪

• went back to work full time seven years ago!
• adopted a child last year.
• changed jobs this year.......100% difference!  It is all in the admin.

[Spryte]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

I don't know what a lot of these acronyms mean but glad they are making some of you happy! 🤪

• went back to work full time seven years ago!
• adopted a child last year.
• changed jobs this year.......100% difference!  It is all in the admin.

I used one! Clarifying: FOO = family of origin

[Scarlett]

10 hours ago, popmom said:

I'm super excited. I snagged a site (with shade!) for a full week at Grayton Beach State Park. It's a fabulous campground and a gorgeous beach--right by Seaside, FL. We will be glamping with power and water. 🙂

I love Seaside. 

[ScoutTN]

10 hours ago, popmom said:

I'm super excited. I snagged a site (with shade!) for a full week at Grayton Beach State Park. It's a fabulous campground and a gorgeous beach--right by Seaside, FL. We will be glamping with power and water. 🙂

That is a lovely place!!

[marbel]

11 hours ago, popmom said:

I spend money without guilt or anxiety. I used to stress over every penny, but I've changed my mindset. I'm not stupid about it--not running up credit cards, but I'm going to buy stuff that brings me joy or adds to my quality of life. Partly I can attribute this to my stage of life.

Same. We went through a very tough period of un- and under-employment where spending was bare bones. Now that that's over, it's so nice to be able to buy, for example, good shoes that mean we can walk more/longer. We are not spending crazily, and are not quite where we'd like to be with regard to retirement, but I was just so over having no decent clothes or shoes, having no fun, and all the things that go with being broke. We bought a couch to replace one that I couldn't sit in without hurting my back. It is so nice to have an actual comfortable place to sit!  Last week we went to a minor league ball game which was so fun; the last time we'd planned to go, but didn't, was in 2018 and on the day we were going to buy the tickets, my husband learned he was being laid off.  I'm not taking having a little financial flexibility for granted again (I used to; lesson learned). 

[Ann.without.an.e]

First of all, this is such an interesting thread. It really proves that we have to seek what is good for us and understand that it might look completely different for someone else. For example, some went keto others went plant based. Some found a different church, others decided on no church at all. 

@Indigo Blue My DH was in a similar position as you. Something about our previous pastor's teaching was harsh to him and depressed him. A change in where we worship is what he needed for his mental health. I really, really didn't want to change but I did it for him and I'm glad we did. I hope this is the case for you. 

 

 

For me personally...

1) I stopped expecting people to speak my love language or love me a certain way. Instead I allow myself to be loved the way they show love best. I intentionally choose to see the love they are giving. This was especially good with DH as he speaks my love language about 0%. He is actually adamantly opposed to verbal affirmation. We've had some discussions around it and he feels that words are fake and the only true way to care for someone is action. But he does action a bazillion times better than any man I know. He does a lot of laundry, he helps with everything around the house, I've never had a honey-do list (he does it before I can ask), have you seen my garden?, he works tirelessly for us in his job and at home. Embracing that instead of feeling unloved because he isn't verbally affirming me has been freeing for both of us. 

2) Realizing that I can only control me. I can't control others. I wish some whom I love would make better choices. I could nitpick them, call them out, try to be the catalyst in their lives but all that does is strain the relationship we have and make them not want to be around me. They will learn what they need on their own schedule and I'm not the one who will change them. 

3) Letting go of guilt around my IL's and the end of the relationship. This has been easier as my own children have become adults. I don't know how I would respond in every situation but I know this... I would not easily let go of a relationship with one of my kids. I would apologize were needed and try to fix what was broken. I wouldn't just deem everyone else wrong and be done with them. Y'all have helped me to see the depths of FIL's NPD too.

4) I have Hashimoto's and some other autoimmune stuff and what helped me most was going  GF + DF and changing to desiccated thyroid meds. I made these changes years ago. 

5) Embracing imperfection. Striving for perfection is a losing battle. 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2023 by Ann.without.an.e

[Lady Florida.]

12 hours ago, popmom said:

I'm super excited. I snagged a site (with shade!) for a full week at Grayton Beach State Park. It's a fabulous campground and a gorgeous beach--right by Seaside, FL. We will be glamping with power and water. 🙂

 

Seaside is so pretty!

[Lady Florida.]

13 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

For me personally...

1) I stopped expecting people to speak my love language or love me a certain way. Instead I allow myself to be loved the way they show love best. I intentionally choose to see the love they are giving. This was especially good with DH as he speaks my love language about 0%. He is actually adamantly opposed to verbal affirmation. We've had some discussions around it and he feels that words are fake and the only true way to care for someone is action.

 

 

 

I had to change my expectations a long time ago (we've been married 29 yrs, together 31). Dh's love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. Mine is 100% acts of service. For the first few years I was so frustrated that he didn't appreciate all the things I did for him, nor did he do as much for me that I would have liked, though he did do some things. When I finally realized all the words and touchy feely stuff coming from him were his love language I was able to appreciate him much more. I could let go of my frustration once I realized how different we were in expressing love, and let myself just go with it.

[lynn]

Non negotiable morning walk, unless of course the weather is dangerous.

Blocking certain people from calling or texting.  

 

[SKL]

On 4/21/2023 at 7:04 AM, MEmama said:

Distractions can be healthy. Earlier this year I went waaaay deep into the fandom for a certain show and found it to be an excellent, harmless escape when I was in a space where really needed one. I say embrace it.

Yeah, I started getting into BTS around the time Covid started to be a thing.  In short, I needed an escape from everything falling apart.  My kids had been BTS fans and showed me a couple introductory videos, and things went from there.  Probably if it hadn't been BTS, it would have been something else.

There have been times when I spent too long watching BTS Run or lives or whatever ... but it's not a chemical, it doesn't cost anything, it has no calories, and it's not like I never procrastinated before BTS.  😛

[SKL]

Noticed one person mentioned adoption.   I don't recall seeing anyone else mention taking on parenting or homeschooling responsibilities.  😛  Sorry if I missed it!

Yesterday, I was wondering why "adopting my girls" didn't come to mind, but heh ... I'm still not sure which way the mental health impact goes with raising girls.  😛  I love them excruciatingly.  But I worry about things, more as they grow older.  I dislike the way things happen that I can't control.  I suppose it makes me human, and I suppose that's mentally healthy, right?

And they do make me laugh.

I hope they are close to me in my old age.  And that I don't worry as much about them then ....

[popmom]

30 minutes ago, SKL said:

Noticed one person mentioned adoption.   I don't recall seeing anyone else mention taking on parenting or homeschooling responsibilities.  😛  Sorry if I missed it!

Yesterday, I was wondering why "adopting my girls" didn't come to mind, but heh ... I'm still not sure which way the mental health impact goes with raising girls.  😛  I love them excruciatingly.  But I worry about things, more as they grow older.  I dislike the way things happen that I can't control.  I suppose it makes me human, and I suppose that's mentally healthy, right?

And they do make me laugh.

I hope they are close to me in my old age.  And that I don't worry as much about them then ....

Relatable. I have 4 daughters. 🙂

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Noticed one person mentioned adoption.   I don't recall seeing anyone else mention taking on parenting or homeschooling responsibilities.  😛  Sorry if I missed it!

 

 

I guess I didn't think of those as changes I made in life in order to help me mentally. No one mentioned step children either but I raised a stepson and now have 3 wonderful grandchildren through him. But I don't think of that as a change I purposely made for my mental health. Same with bio ds. I can't speak to adoption since that's not something I have experience with. 

 

As for homeschooling, we did that for ds and it was a joint decision. In the long run it probably helped my mental health because his ADHD would have been a huge issue if he was in school, and I'd be endlessly dealing with teachers and administrators over it.

 

Anyway, I'm glad it was helpful for you. From your posts over the years I can tell you love your kids dearly and you always try to to what's best for them (as any good parent does). For me though, as much as I love being a mom, stepmom, and grandmom, I didn't equate those roles with the title of this thread.

Edited April 22, 2023 by Lady Florida.

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I'm still not sure which way the mental health impact goes with raising girls.  😛  I love them excruciatingly.  But I worry about things, more as they grow older.  I dislike the way things happen that I can't control.  I suppose it makes me human, and I suppose that's mentally healthy, right?

 

Oh and this. We did our best to raise the boys to do right by others but I don't think it's the same as with girls. I can't imagine how incredibly hard it must be to raise girls these days. Kudos to parents of girls! 

[sassenach]

On 4/20/2023 at 3:46 PM, TexasProud said:

Honestly, staying away from this board.  I regret it every time I come back and have a worse frame of mind . I feel more hopeless. I think I am better off being clueless.  At least my mental health is. 

I’ve fixed this by not reading certain topics or posters. And on occasion, when I do get sucked into some unhealthy back and forth, I’ve learned that I don’t have to have the last word. I just peace out of the whole thread and never go back. 
 

Also, I never ask for personal advice anymore (except in the elder care club, when I was dealing with that). Every time I did, someone would post something really unhelpful. 
 

But your solution works, too!

Edited April 22, 2023 by sassenach

[sassenach]

On 4/20/2023 at 4:23 PM, Carol in Cal. said:

 

Implemented artist’s dates as a valid concept

In my 60s (!!!), changed my heel strike gait and started wearing zero drop wide forefoot shoes most of the time, which in turn prevented me from relapsing into plantar fascitis AND improved my balance to the point where it is now better than ever in my life.  Quite remarkable.

 Can you say more about these 2 things? What is an artist’s date?
And how did you change your gate? Dh has horrible plantar’s fasciitis and he’s done so much to try and address it with not much result. 

[Terabith]

I messed up my shoulder this summer.  I did physical therapy, which was expensive and while it helped, it didn't fix the issue at all.  As part of a desire to get healthier, I rejoined the Y and started doing deep water aerobics twice a week and swimming laps another three times a week or so.  (And doing an occasional yoga class as well.)  Moving in the water gives me about 24 hours pain free; I sleep a lot better, and it just makes me happy.  I've never liked exercise at all; very few forms of exercise have ever made me feel good physically, but water exercise always has, and I had forgotten how much I like it.  

[Kassia]

@Terabith this is off topic, but have you tried Bob and Brad from youtube for your shoulder pain?  They are fantastic and have fixed DH's shoulder issues a few times in the past.  They helped me with a pinched nerve in my back recently too.  Glad swimming is helping you mentally and physically.

[Terabith]

1 minute ago, Kassia said:

@Terabith this is off topic, but have you tried Bob and Brad from youtube for your shoulder pain?  They are fantastic and have fixed DH's shoulder issues a few times in the past.  They helped me with a pinched nerve in my back recently too.  Glad swimming is helping you mentally and physically.

I haven't!  I will check them out.  It's actually my upper trapezium?  It seems to get worse when I do things like sit on the floor without back support (which I do a fair amount as a preschool teacher) or drive a lot.  Or anything when I'm holding tension, even emotional.  I've heard them mentioned before, but I just hadn't gotten around to looking them up.  Glad to have an actual recommendation!

[Carol in Cal.]

27 minutes ago, sassenach said:

 Can you say more about these 2 things? What is an artist’s date?
And how did you change your gate? Dh has horrible plantar’s fasciitis and he’s done so much to try and address it with not much result. 

“Artist’s date” is a concept from The Artist’s Way.  Basically once a week you feed your spirit with an outing of at least an hour that is for nudging your creative juices and kind of resetting you from feeling like you have to grind through your obligations and commitments without any relief.  I like it because it gives me something to look forward to when I AM grinding, and it resets my head a bit, and actually improves my productivity as well as my creativity.  

Re plantar fascitis, I have a great crowd sourcing thread about that in the old general board.  It’s called Plantar Fascitis—What has Helped You?, and it has so much wonderful information from the whole tribe.

To summarize my own experience—I had several phases, and they required different treatment.

Horrible phase:  I needed to wear at least low and better medium heels with preferably rock hard arch support just about all the time, stretch my feet before every single time I got up even if I had just sat down, never go barefoot, and wear trail running shoes for all outdoor walking.  During that period I was just about crippled, and it lasted a long, long time.  I did not think I would ever be well again.  Dansko Sophia sandals were my go to favorite, with Abeo pumps for work.  Brooks Cascadia and Salomon trail runners were the shoes I could wear outside—the Brooks were better.

Medium phase:  I could get by with some flats if they had arch support, and although I still needed to stretch my feet every time I got up, I did not avoid walking as I had been, especially on springy/cushy surfaces.  In this phase I preferred cushy arch support to rock hard, so switched from my Dansko to Fit Flop sandals.  I could wear some shoes that were flatter if they were cushy and had some arch support, like Sofft or Bjorn brand flats.  I had one pair of dressy flat sandals from Abeo that I couldn’t wear in the horrible phase but they worked in this one.  Still could not go barefoot, but I could wear sheepskin puffy slippers around the house, inconceivable before.

Cured phase:  I go barefoot.  I wear Altra trail running shoes most of the time.  I use Earthies flats for ‘dressy’ shoes.  

How I got there:  It was like peeling an onion.  I did all the things in that old thread (read it, it’s got a lot of great ideas).  In parallel I started reading up on how to have healthy feet (Bowman, and some of the barefoot running folks), which seemed impossible, but which I hoped that I would use if I ever got better, and maybe avoid another relapse.

What finally cured the second really awful round of this was a Med Massager that I bought at Costco.  I would rest my heel on it and vibrate it for about 20 minutes every morning and sometimes also at night.  And it finally started to heal itself, I think maybe due to better circulation to the area?  Not sure.  And after about 3 weeks I was fine.

Then I got very diligent about continuing all the preventative stuff that I had learned—arch support, cushioning, switching heel heights.  I also consciously worked to change my normal gait of heel striking.  This resulted in a shorter stride, which was fine, and a slightly forward tilt, which I don’t love but have accepted.  I think that this change, particularly for jogging and hiking but really most of the rest of the time also, is the main thing that has kept me from reinjuring myself.  I had to really work at landing each step on my forefoot, not tip toe but just forward on the ball of my foot.  This was made much easier by almost never wearing heels, and even easier when I switched to zero drop running shoes for everyday use (Altra).  I realized that my toes had always been a bit squished together even in my most roomy running shoes, and that they worked better in supporting my overall foot health once they had room to spread out naturally.  I try to go barefoot at home at least one day per week to keep my entire feet strong, something I never imagined that I could do again, and as long as I maintain that forefoot foot strike and shorter steps, I don’t get PF back.  

I also noticed that the arch support was starting to give me little bunions, so now I avoid it except if I’m going to be on my feet all day at a dressy event like a wedding, or if I get ‘start of pf’ twinges (which I have not in quite a long time.)

An amazing fringe benefit of this is my whole life I have been one of those people who trips and falls a lot, and I found out that my very long stride was keeping me always off balance.  Basically I learned to walk right in my 60s, LOL, and I’m very grateful.

 

 

[Kassia]

52 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I haven't!  I will check them out.  It's actually my upper trapezium?  It seems to get worse when I do things like sit on the floor without back support (which I do a fair amount as a preschool teacher) or drive a lot.  Or anything when I'm holding tension, even emotional.  I've heard them mentioned before, but I just hadn't gotten around to looking them up.  Glad to have an actual recommendation!

I can't recommend them highly enough.  Many of my friends have had good results with them too.  Here you go:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bob+and+brad+upper+trapezius

 

[DawnM]

4 hours ago, SKL said:

Noticed one person mentioned adoption.   I don't recall seeing anyone else mention taking on parenting or homeschooling responsibilities.  😛  Sorry if I missed it!

Yesterday, I was wondering why "adopting my girls" didn't come to mind, but heh ... I'm still not sure which way the mental health impact goes with raising girls.  😛  I love them excruciatingly.  But I worry about things, more as they grow older.  I dislike the way things happen that I can't control.  I suppose it makes me human, and I suppose that's mentally healthy, right?

And they do make me laugh.

I hope they are close to me in my old age.  And that I don't worry as much about them then ....

I think I mentioned it.   With all the shite that I went through with adopting him, I am glad to be past all of that!

[fraidycat]

I stopped waiting. If there is something I would like to do, see, experience. I go do, see, experience it - whether or not someone else is available at the time to join me.

I embraced my inner 12 year old. The one who wants to use all the stickers, highlighters, and coloured pens in the planner and notebooks. 
 

Lowered my standards on household cleaning/decluttering/organizing. It was so much easier to keep higher standards when I was the one "in charge" of what to get rid of so I could keep up. Kids got older and had more input and autonomy, so I "lost control of the household inventory" so I had to lower my standards or turn into a raging bitch that the house was a mess. 

[ScoutTN]

Nm. 

Edited April 23, 2023 by ScoutTN

[Pam in CT]

(( @ScoutTN ))

 

We also struggle with widely different languages. It's just hard.

[Not_a_Number]

I stopped trying to communicate what I need to everyone else and hoping they'd take care of me and started feeling responsible for getting my own needs met. 

It sounds simple, but it has caused vast improvements in my life. (Although it also led to having to make some difficult decisions.)

[J-rap]

I've learned to a deeper degree that if I were born in someone else's shoes, I'd probably be making the same decisions as them.  So much depends on our inherited brains and circumstances.  Perhaps everything depends on those things.  That helps me see people differently, and judge less. 

I've also started taking painting classes!  Something I've been wanting to do forever. 

[SKL]

4 hours ago, DawnM said:

I think I mentioned it.   With all the shite that I went through with adopting him, I am glad to be past all of that!

Yeah, definitely a relief to have the legalities all wrapped up!

[DoraBora]

I have stopped bringing work home from my teaching job, and I don't go up to the school building on weekends anymore.  I just focus on thinking ahead and hustling during contract hours.  If something doesn't get done in the 45-ish hours I am at school each week, it's either relatively unimportant, or it can wait.

Thank you @Indigo Blue for starting this thread.  I'm finding the responses to be thought provoking and encouraging.