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About DoraBora

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    Hive Mind Level 3 Worker: Honeymaking Bee

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  1. Yes, your parents need more help than they are getting, but your dad is choosing to stay put. He has options he (understandably) doesn't like, and he doesn't wish to pursue them. Because he is a competent adult, he has the right to make that choice. (It sounds to me like a move to a facility is inevitable, and it may happen in a crisis, but there it is. I well understand trying to talk about such things with an elder who stubbornly refuses to face facts.) I'm sorry you have so many things to handle -- too many for one person. I think you are meeting the mark by doing the very best you can -- clearly, you love your parents. You can only do so much. Your own little family needs you with them right now. Lots of hugs to you!
  2. My mom's independent living place offers home help in the same way. It's in-house, so the minimum charge is waived. Paying only for what you use in fifteen-minute increments is quite affordable. There are a lot of elders in Mom's community who only need a little help in order to stay there. They don't need full-on Assisted Living, just some help with organizing medications or putting on those compression socks (which can be a workout!).
  3. The thing that finally convinced my mom to move was a massive hail storm that destroyed her roof the second time in two years. That second storm also broke all the windows on one side of her house. She had insurance, but when everyone is clamoring for repair people, it is a huge hassle, and there was the deductible to meet. (She has a good income, but large amounts of cash are a hardship.) She couldn't afford to stay in her house anyway and didn't want to live with my siblings or me. It surprised me that she was willing to move to an Independent Living place, but she did. I think it has been great for her.
  4. One grandmother moved to a regular nursing home at 88. She had dementia. The other moved to a locked unit at 83. She had Alzheimer's. (I guess I really didn't answer your question. Neither went to AL. My parents were assisted living until they could no longer do it. Mom had bone cancer and dad had to work.)
  5. 1998. It was the size of a fairly hefty burrito. (Chipotle restaurants have given new meaning to hefty burritos -- it wasn't THAT big!)
  6. Thank you all for the input. We haven't ever made a huge deal out of our anniversary, though for the first few years we bought gifts for each other, and we took a weekend trip for our 25th. I suppose the "doing less as we get older" thread got me to thinking that I've begun to settle(?) and that perhaps I should ramp up my celebratory efforts. I can be so clueless about what people want, and dh is pretty low key (which is wonderful, unless I'm doubting myself, lol). It's interesting (and reassuring) to learn that many people just go out to eat and spend some time together.
  7. Our wedding anniversary (29 years) is fast approaching, and honestly, I don't know what to give my husband (and I wouldn't know what to ask him to give me). Is that boring? We have one in college and a rising high school senior, so our expenses/projected expenses are high just now. Really, I am fine with going out, just the two of us, and enjoying a quiet dinner, but I wonder whether I should try to be creative about a gift. Truly, neither of us needs anything. (Doubting myself...) Do y'all get gifts for your spouse on your anniversary?
  8. Remember that there will always be people who have more, and who can give more material things to their children. I understand where you are coming from -- we happen to have quite a few friends who have lots of money. But truly, you have done a lot for your children already, and they are fortunate to have parents who are thinking ahead for them! My parents raised me and sent me to college. They have given me a rich spiritual heritage. I count myself blessed to have such an inheritance!
  9. These! A thousand times! Also agree with starting a ROTH for them now, with maybe an initial investment of $3000 (with Vanguard, anyway). Then you can add funds now and then when you can, or, even better, they can add small amounts themselves, without having to come up with the huge (for young people just starting out) initial chunk of money to start.
  10. What about crushed ice or frozen peas in a snack-sized ziploc (for your eye)?
  11. I'm so sorry about your fall. When I had a suspicious growth removed from my face, the dermatologist stressed keeping the area clean and lubricated. She suggested Vaseline, but my wound was different, as it was made with sterile surgical instruments. I would think neosporin would work as well or better, at least at first. If a wound dries out too much, it will scab over and take longer to heal. To keep it clean, I soaked a clean washcloth with warm water and a bit of soap and gently placed it on the wound twice a day. Then I did the same with another washcloth soaked in plain warm water. I just let it soak in because even gentle motion caused bleeding for the first day or two. I let it air-dry for a few minutes and moistened it with Vaseline again, reapplying throughout the day I hope your scrape heals quickly.
  12. Thank you both. I guess I was hoping there was a highlight reel of some kind, like the one you can opt into on Yahoo Groups. It's definitely a step up from regular texting.
  13. Do any of you have experience with GroupMe? I'm part of a group that wants to use this, but in the past, group messages have been a problem for me because my phone explodes with 200 texts (people in the group answering with thumbs-up emojis and lols). I will lose the important stuff in all of the chatter. Is there a "digest" function for GroupMe (such as just the first message in the thread coming to me and then I choose to click on it)? I started to look at their website, but couldn't find anything and I need to give the admin an answer. Thank you...
  14. In truth, I would choose a burgundy instead of bright red (for me). But red. 😀 This is fun: I read somewhere that white was the most popular color for cars in the US. There are a surprising number of white cars on the road. Red: Manly, Conspicuous (for safety), Classic, Cheerful
  15. I like red (sorry!) because people can see you coming. And 'cause I like red.
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