Is there something your entire family enjoys doing together?

[mommyoffive]

Is there something your whole family enjoys doing together?  

Maybe it is the ages of my kids 6-16 plus dh and I, but I feel like it is harder and harder to find things we all enjoy doing together.    I would be out and about and see families that all are doing a said activity and enjoying it and going yup that doesn't work for my family.    I wish it did.  

One example.

We all can ride a bike in our family.  However odd and I do not like mountain biking, more like relaxed smooth bike trail riding.  Ydd can't ride on mountain bike trails yet. DS only wants to ride on moutain bike trails, and another dd is leaning like that too.  

I feel like it is like that with just about everything.

[Lecka]

We have a very, very limited number of tv shows we all like.  My kids are within 3 years of each other.  The shows we all like I wouldn’t let kids below age 11 or 12 watch.  
 

They all like my mom and step-dad and will do more for activities involving them, than they will do if it’s just us.  
 

I frequently have two who are bickering with each other (which 2 changes).  They are all on their best behavior around my mom and step-dad, so my mom will say “why don’t you do x, y, z more often” and I say my kids bicker, and she had never seen them bicker.

 

We do a lot of things with 1 or 2 kids.  

[marbel]

Well you have a big age spread so abilities vary widely. I would imagine the older ones might want to go farther, faster, on more difficult trails?

My small family only seems to enjoy spending time in the woods together. Not necessarily hiking, though we do some of that. My kids (18 months apart) bicker a lot but when we stay someplace where they can wander around in the woods, they re-bond together. We all enjoy it but there is something special in it for them. 

3 of us like to watch movies or tv shows; 1 mostly hates it unless we pick very specific types of things to watch. 2 of us like board and card games, one can tolerate it, one (me) hates it. 

Well, we all like to eat pizza together LOL

[mlktwins]

Mine are the same age, but there were series of shows we were watching together.  We also went through all the Marvel movies together in chronological order.  We used to play board games and Mario Kart on the Wii.  We used to like to vacation together, but haven't really done that since Covid - except on time to a lake house rental.

Now they are in their last year of high school and off to college.  Everyone is super busy 😞 .

[Kassia]

It was very hard (and frustrating)  when my kids were younger and I had three older boys with a little girl.  But now they are 20-31 and we are very rarely together but we all like playing games.  We did a few destination vacations together and that was really nice but then it was too hard to coordinate schedules - we're hoping to do that again next year.  

 

ETA - going to local attractions and going for nature walks are good activities too.  

Edited August 17, 2022 by Kassia

[Lecka]

My kids got along a lot better when they were younger, I have so many pictures of them when they were younger doing things together, which I took for granted at the time.

 

Now my older son was very bratty when he was about 11/12/13.  We moved from him being that age, to my daughter being that age and now she is often bratty.

 

In the meantime my other son has autism, and he has a lower tolerance for things he doesn’t personally really enjoy, so we are never really going to try an activity for everyone outside of things that would be a good fit for him.  

 

Right now he gets along with both of my other kids, but they don’t really get along well with each other. 
 

Both of them also love going 1:1 with my husband and that is often how they can do something they want that my son with autism is not interested in.  And, we think that is important for them.

 

I hope they will get along better when they are older, because they did when they were younger.  
 

But a lot of it is we did great at parks, and they could do their own thing or be together.  But then my older son decided he was too old for that for a year or two (then he decided he would do it again).  Then my daughter.  
 

Sigh. 

 

I also have gotten to where I have a low tolerance for bickering and I don’t even care if we are doing something with 1 or 2 kids, or if I’m with 2 and my husband is with 1.  

[Farrar]

Mocking award shows and live TV "events" together - election night, New Year's Eve, etc.

Escape rooms.

Marvel movies in the theater... sometimes. 

A good walk in the woods, though we all tend to have different versions we like.

[MEmama]

We genuinely like to travel together, we are very compatible and we respect one another’s interests.
 

 

Edited August 18, 2022 by MEmama

[regentrude]

We liked hiking and rock climbing and any kind of nature exploration. Rock climbing is fantastic because you can easily adapt to each person's ability - short, easy routes for the littles, harder ones for the grown-ups.
We hiked since they were babies and then added backpacking when they were preteens.
In their teens, they focused stronger on their own interests, which is normal.
But now that they are adults, we have gone on hiking/climbing/kayaking trips together again.

[Heartstrings]

Board games usually.  Those crime solving games have been a surprise hit lately.  

[Vintage81]

We all have electric scooters and enjoy riding together. 

We also enjoy traveling together.

Our DDs are 12 and 14, so shows and movies to watch together can be a challenge sometimes, but we try to watch together as much as possible (e.g. all of the Marvel movies and TV shows, Star Wars, etc.).

The other thing we all love is Formula 1 racing. We watch races together every weekend they’re on. We also went to a race last year in Austin and are going to another one this year. 

[Frances]

Cooking has always been something that everyone likes to contribute to. So generally now whenever we get together either everyone is actually actively helping or at least in the kitchen talking while others cook. Traveling has always worked well together as we take turns choosing activities. And if someone really, really doesn’t want to participate in something, they can stay back by themselves. But that very rarely happens.

[Meriwether]

My kids (8-19) all play some games together. There are a lot of different personal preferences, but a few work for everyone. Between Two Castles of Mad King Ludwig is one. My oldest son ran a D & D campaign for our family this summer. It was hard to find times to play with everyone with two people working days and two people working evenings. We'll watch some shows together. We have enjoyed read alouds or audiobooks together. 

[Laura Corin]

We enjoy doing things together, but that doesn't mean that the activity is perfect for each of us. We compromise on our individual preferences in order to benefit from being together. 

[happypamama]

3-20 here.  Most of us enjoy board and card gaming.  Obviously not all the same games, but we can make a pretty good family game night most of the time.  We might play a few games that the little guy or middles can play, then let them watch a movie or "play on a team" so we can play some older-person-oriented games.  Also, they have a bunch of video games most or all of the older kids play.

 

Most of us enjoy going to an amusement park.  Again, not everyone rides the same rides, but we can have a good day and be mostly together, or at least back and forth.  I might take a couple of littler guys on a kid ride, while my husband takes the olders on a coaster, or the other day, 20 yo and 11yo were riding one set of water slides while I had the 3yo in the baby pool area while DH took the middle boys on a different water ride, and we also swapped things around throughout the day. 

 

Most everyone is up for a viewing of Lord of the Rings, and there are a fair number of other movies that several of the family will watch together.

 

Flexbility is the key.  It doesn't have to be all eight of us doing the exact same thing at the same time; it can be a bit of back and forth.

Edited August 17, 2022 by happypamama

[Ottakee]

Would geocaching work?   
 

hard with that age spread

[Ting Tang]

9 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

We enjoy doing things together, but that doesn't mean that the activity is perfect for each of us. We compromise on our individual preferences in order to benefit from being together. 

This is pretty much us! 

[BlsdMama]

All of them like to be outside, but... eh? It's nearly impossible because if you have a dozen people, you have a dozen interests.  Also what one person *wants* to do is different than what they will do.  I love 2 hour boardgames.  They *enjoy* them and humor me, just like I took one of them driving and two to coffee.  We enjoy  time together so it's worth rotating activities.  For us, it's really not about finding something everyone enjoys - it's about showing an interest in what someone else loves and taking the time to enjoy it with another because you value that person and I think that teaches kids really strong relationship skills.

[SKL]

Watching movies, traveling, going to certain restaurants.

At 15, the moments are few and far between tbh.  Much of what we do together is disagreeable to at least one of us.  😛

[Pam in CT]

For us, it's not so much a matter of finding One Perfect Activity That Everyone Adores, so much as give-and-take and turntaking.

1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:

We enjoy doing things together, but that doesn't mean that the activity is perfect for each of us. We compromise on our individual preferences in order to benefit from being together. 

This.

So for example we all enjoy "hiking," but one of us does the seven days in backwoods thing, one of us prefers strolling on well-groomed flat lake circumambulations, the rest of us are somewhere in between.  We all enjoy "traveling," but a couple of us could spend the whole day in a good museum and the rest of us are done after a couple of hours; while one of us is a Big Foodie and another likes to find obscure music venues and etc.

 

54 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

All of them like to be outside, but... eh? It's nearly impossible because if you have a dozen people, you have a dozen interests.  Also what one person *wants* to do is different than what they will do.  I love 2 hour boardgames.  They *enjoy* them and humor me, just like I took one of them driving and two to coffee.  We enjoy  time together so it's worth rotating activities.  For us, it's really not about finding something everyone enjoys - it's about showing an interest in what someone else loves and taking the time to enjoy it with another because you value that person and I think that teaches kids really strong relationship skills.

Right. So, we all enjoy "boardgames," but some of us tilt toward word games, one towards visual acuity/speed, one toward pure strategy games, one of us (sigh) toward bluff games. We take turns.

[whitestavern]

3 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Is there something your whole family enjoys doing together?  

Maybe it is the ages of my kids 6-16 plus dh and I, but I feel like it is harder and harder to find things we all enjoy doing together.    I would be out and about and see families that all are doing a said activity and enjoying it and going yup that doesn't work for my family.    I wish it did.  

One example.

We all can ride a bike in our family.  However odd and I do not like mountain biking, more like relaxed smooth bike trail riding.  Ydd can't ride on mountain bike trails yet. DS only wants to ride on moutain bike trails, and another dd is leaning like that too.  

I feel like it is like that with just about everything.

Well I only have 2 and they’re close in age but we all enjoy playing cards and games, hiking, biking, skiing, kayaking, travel, some movies and concerts, and going to the beach.

[rebcoola]

The only thing I can think of is water activities the beach, water parks, river floating are all hits.

Amusement parks are almost as good but I can't do a lot or rides and the ones for the youngest are often in a different area.

We do all like to go to big cities and find the weirdest foods and stores.

It's hard since our spread is 3 - 15.

[katilac]

That's a tough age range. Compromising to spend time together is of course a valuable idea, but I think it's much easier to pull off for those of use with two kids who are closer in age, lol. Or even two kids farther apart in age, but several kids and a big range is tough. 

It's really hard to find activities suitable for a 6-yr-old and a 16-yr-old. That pair can absolutely have fun together, of course, but the entire group doing the same thing? Much harder to pull off. Even movies can be pretty hard, but you could possibly lure in the older kids for a younger movie if you have fabulous movie snacks. 

I like what @happypamamasaid about amusement parks, where you're all in the same place and maybe meeting for lunch and switching off sometimes. There are usually at least a few rides that everyone in the group is willing to do for tradition and memories, and I'd just flat-out ask or tell the older or more adventurous kids: We're going to start with a picture in front of X and then all go ride the Turbo Tumbler before splitting off, okay? I'd ask or tell based on my knowledge of the kids and how accommodating they are likely to be, lol. 

I don't know how many of your kids are old enough to have a phone or device, but a family chat group can be a fun way to share things and briefly touch base. Now that they're grown, we've added a #work channel, and I think we probably get way more glimpses into their daily lives when they can shoot off a quick text in the moment. I mean, it's the #work channel, so they're very often annoyed texts, but interesting nonetheless. If we start to fear that our young adults have dropped off the face of the earth, we post a cute picture in #animals and at least the heart emojis serve as proof of life. 

It might be fun to have a biking day, with the two groups going to different locations but on the same day, and you can trade some photos throughout the day (or at the end of the day, if phones throw off your groove). Meet at the end of the day for fun food and snacks, could be a restaurant or just stuff you bring with you. 

8 hours ago, MEmama said:

I was thrilled to hear that on a spring break trip to Amsterdam he and a friend toured cathedrals and museums as we have done together, instead of favouring the…unique activities..many college students engage in there instead . 🙂 

I mean, you can do both 😂

[KidsHappen]

My family seems to just enjoy each others company and we like to do lots of different things together.

We enjoy eating together and going out to eat. We get together at least once a month for dinner plus all birthdays which is now about 15 I think. 

We like to play games together. Sometimes one or two people won't want to play a particular game or at a particular time so they will just sit and keep the rest of use company.

We like bowling, putt putt golf, frisbee golf and other outdoor activities together.

We like going on vacation together including trips to amusement parks, zoos, museums and other things like that. 

The girls like meeting for coffee, shopping and getting their nails done together, sometimes with my hubby tagging along. 

We used to go to the movies a lot but right now we have a few littles who are not really movie age. 

Everyone but me just went fishing and horseback riding together recently. 

We do most of those things more frequently now that everyone lives in the same state again but we have certainly been doing all of it regularly since my youngest was 6.

I have worked very hard to keep my family together, getting along, spending time together and helping each other out. It is the thing I am the most proud of. My family is what keeps me going through all of my difficult health challenges and it is what gives me the most peace about when I am no longer around knowing that they have each other. 

[Eos]

8 hours ago, rebcoola said:

water activities

I had a range of 0, 6, 8, and 16, so only had a few years of finding what to do with a toddler and late teenager.  Hanging out and playing near water in all forms was really the best, especially beach time, but any stream or lake.  Winter, not so much, but then it was being outside with snow.

Teatime has been the most consistent activity of our family.  Nothing formal but a hot beverage and a snack, then we sit and chat and roast.  This has always worked for all ages.  Teatime sometimes rolls into board games or charades, but not always.  My grown kids still love teatime and we plan our days around who will be home for teatime.

[HomeAgain]

For a long time we had "touch in" activities.  Oldest and youngest ds are more than 10 years apart.  When the youngest was very little, he was on my back for many activities we did with oldest ds.  We have always loved exploring, biking, geocaching, hiking, camping, etc.  As youngest needed more supervision during the toddler/little kid years, we'd bring an extra kid or two for oldest ds and let them go off, touching back in as necessary throughout the activity/day.

Now, with both firmly in double digits, we can do more things together again.  Anything that would have been geared toward ds1 in the earlier years with youngest ds tagging along is a full family activity:

at-home escape room puzzles

min golf

long bike rides

hikes

board games

puzzles

family movie night

cooking

laser tag

That magic age of 10 really opened up a lot of doors where it wasn't individuals and "parent+kid" doing an activity together but everyone for themselves.

[Carrie12345]

Board games, amusement parks, campfires, science centers, zoos, mini golf, corn hole, eating.
I’m not so much for the video games, but the kids will all play together. Sometimes they’ll try to play ball on our tiny lawn, as it’s the only organized sport all 5 have been involved in.

My age spread is 12 years and 4 months. When they were younger, the littlest(s) would often team up with a parent or older sibling. My kids aren’t exactly known for their patience, except when it comes to stuff like this. The olders have *almost* always delighted in the littles’ turns while waiting for their own.

Last night, my 11yo, my (today!) 24yo, and I sat around and debated the future of the universe, whether or not the absence of an idea was an idea, and shared stories about the different blind people we’ve learned about who do incredible things. They become real people so darn fast!

There’s also nothing wrong with divide and conquer.  My younger kids did get dragged along to stuff they couldn’t do, and my big kids did get dragged along or left at home when doing stuff for the littles.  Or dh would take a group and I would take a group.  As long as no one is constantly the odd man out, it’s fine.

[mom31257]

We only have the two and they are six years apart. They always got along well, too. 

We enjoyed visiting museums and historic sites together. Traveling was easy since they got along, and we all loved going to new places. They were always adventurous when it came to food, so that was nice visiting ethnic areas of cities.  Board games have been a staple for us, and we still get together to play games when we can all be together. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by mom31257

[Debbirie]

On 8/18/2022 at 12:03 AM, mommyoffive said:

Is there something your whole family enjoys doing together?  

Maybe it is the ages of my kids 6-16 plus dh and I, but I feel like it is harder and harder to find things we all enjoy doing together.    I would be out and about and see families that all are doing a said activity and enjoying it and going yup that doesn't work for my family.    I wish it did.  

One example.

We all can ride a bike in our family.  However odd and I do not like mountain biking, more like relaxed smooth bike trail riding.  Ydd can't ride on mountain bike trails yet. DS only wants to ride on this moutain bike trails, and another dd is leaning like that too.  

I feel like it is like that with just about everything.

Oh understand you so well. Now we are searching for the actiity that we can do together. Actually, sometimes we enjoy playing videogames where several players need to coordinate their actions with each other and that's really unites us. But I'd like to do something without xbox 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Debbirie

[fraidycat]

We all like to play Clue. We have a few different versions. Other than that, not really. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

[Bambam]

It's hard with a large age range. 
My kids are just under 3 years apart, so we had several things we all enjoyed doing together when they were still home.
Hiking (although some would prefer harder trails and some easier, we would compromise on a medium trail)
Going to garage sales and estate sales.
Making a few meals together. Our tradition is breakfast for dinner on Saturday. Each family member had something to make (one kid - smoothie, another kid - bacon (microwave), mom-biscuits, dad-eggs.) Making pizza together (Dad wasn't interested though) was fun - as was making kolaches (very time consuming though)
Working in the yard together (doing different things - one adult mowing, one adult pruning, kids hauling limbs to burn pile, etc)

When we traveled, everyone knows that we will do something they enjoy, but for the things that aren't your favorite (but not something you hate) - you can go along and enjoy it for the other folks in the group. But this takes some time to develop that mindset. 

 

Good luck!

 

[happi duck]

Hiking, art museums/exhibits, certain tv shows

[Emba]

I have three kids, 10 to 16. Hiking and board games for sure. Playing music (guitars and ukuleles) though it is much rarer that everyone will actually be in the mood for that all at the same time.

[KungFuPanda]

We joke that a Venn diagram of our mutual interests would be four distinct circles that barely intersected for food. There are some things we all like but it is really tricky when nobody shares hobbies and we need everything to be wheelchair accessible. We can do restaurants, museums, accessible hikes, and board games. Right now we’re in a cabin in WV just enjoying the change of scenery, but our married daughter isn’t with us. 

[Slache]

2-12. Hiking, swimming, art (different mediums, but we will all do it simultaneously), stand up comedy.

[Indigo Blue]

We all have different interests. One son could just sit in the quiet nature for hours. The other likes a more urban scene. One son has an eclectic taste in music. The other one’s taste almost mirrors mine. They all like car shows. Target shooting. 
Almost no commonality with movies. It’s hard. But I can say we all enjoy hiking to waterfalls in the mountains and things like that. And bowling. Go figure. One son is pretty good.