Would you be embarrassed?

[DawnM]

I was not, until DH made it a "thing" when we got home.

 

I will be intentionally vague about this since I don't want to give details.

 

I am involved in a group to help the poor in the city.  I was asked by the director (we all were) to come to the church that has supported us, and just be there as he talked in front of the church to thank them for their support, etc....

 

Well, I was the only one in our group who could make it apparently.  He caught me before service and said he would be asking me to stand up just to show who came.

 

When he got up to speak he said, "And we have Dawn, our XXX coordinator here, Dawn, could you wave your hand?"  Well, by then I had already stood up!  Oops.

 

We know people at that church, so it is extra embarrassing I guess.  But I still didn't think it was a big deal, but DH asked why I stood up!

 

I stood up because I was told originally that I would be asked to!

 

Do you think anyone in the audience thought I was being too showy?  Should I be embarrassed?

 

Now that DH has made comments, I am embarrassed, but I don't want to be!

 

ETA: I feel like I am having to keep saying my husband is not normally like this and I don't think people are seeing it as they scroll down.  No, he doesn't normally over-react to things and is actually a pretty easy going guy usually, so it surprised me and made me think maybe it was a bigger deal than I thought it was.

Edited May 29, 2017 by DawnM

[Jen500]

 No, I don't think you should be embarrassed. IMO people wouldn't really notice or care at what point of the introduction that you stood up. :)

[Hilltopmom]

Standing up is nice because people sitting farther away can see too :)

 

Not a big deal at all

[SparklyUnicorn]

Not a big deal. 

 

 

[Annie G]

Standing up seems more appropriate. They were interested in seeing your face, not your hand. 

[marbel]

I don't think it's a big deal, though I probably would have felt embarrassed in the moment - but I am too easily embarrassed.  I wouldn't think anything about someone else doing it.

[Carrie12345]

Not at all!  Most of the things that I've attended like that have people who are obviously trying to decide whether they're expected to stand, clap, wave a hand, and they wind up with an uncomfortable half-stand with sheepish grin that everyone feels bad for.

 

You were fine!

[Zookpr]

I think you were asked to wave because so many people are embarrassed to stand. I personally prefer someone to stand so I can see their face so I can thank them later. I am glad you were bold enough to stand and it speaks loads about how proud you are to serve others.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[idnib]

No not embarrassing. You did fine! Plus it's much easier for people to see your face than a random hand in the air.

[Rebel Yell]

Seriously?

 

Is your DH embarrassed for making you feel bad?

 

Too showy would have been if you did an Oscar red carpet walk to the microphone and gave a speech about how wonderful you are.

 

Standing, as you were originally told you'd be asked to do, simply allows people to see who you are so they can possibly talk to you more about how they can get involved.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm sure nobody there is thinking about this.  Why would they? 

 

 

[Guest]

I can guarantee you that everyone in attendance has already forgotten about it.

[Guest]

Wow. Not a big deal. Not even a small deal. This was literally nothing.

[gardenmom5]

I think you're dh has a better memory than most.

 

most people won't give it a second thought - and neither should you.

[gardenmom5]

I'm sure nobody there is thinking about this.  Why would they? 

 

. . . you wouldn't worry so much what other people think of you if you realized how little other people think about you . . . . . ;) 

[happi duck]

You should not be embarrassed!

 

I'd be angry if my dh mentioned it!

[JennyD]

Wow. Not a big deal. Not even a small deal. This was literally nothing.

 

Agreed.

 

I am baffled that your DH made this into a 'thing,' though.  That is really odd.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have been in tons of churches often as a visitor representing something . I can't even count how many times people wave instead of stand or stand instead of wave. And no one thinks anything of it because the purpose-to acknowledge you publicly-was served either way.

 

Now if you broke into song and dance, he might have a point...

Edited May 29, 2017 by Jean in Newcastle

[Julie Smith]

. . . you wouldn't worry so much what other people think of you if you realized how little other people think about you . . . . . ;)

 

Year ago when I was teen my mother told me something that went like this, "don't worry, people don't talk about you, you just aren't that interesting."

[Calm37]

No, just no. No. No. NO! Do not be embarrassed! NO!

[DawnM]

I have been in tons of churches often as a visitor representing something . I can't even count how many times people wave instead of stand or stand instead of wave. And no one thinks anything of it because the purpose-to acknowledge you publicly-was served either way.

 

Now if you broke into song and dance, he might have a point...

 

 

Well, I didn't add the part about pole dancing.......

 

 

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!

[Mimm]

You stood at slightly the wrong time? hehe No, I wouldn't at all be embarrassed about that. I'd be annoyed at my husband for trying to make a thing out of it.

[DawnM]

THANK YOU ALL!

 

You are making me feel much better. 

 

DH is more of a "don't look at me or acknowledge me, let me work behind the scenes quietly and without recognition" person, I think that is why he mentioned it.  

[Cindy in FL.]

No, you should not be embarrassed by this at all. Not even a little bit.

[Guest]

Zero embarrassment there!

[regentrude]

Not a big deal. I doubt it even registered to people, and I am perfectly sure none of them still thinks about it.

[Guest]

THANK YOU ALL!

 

You are making me feel much better.

 

DH is more of a "don't look at me or acknowledge me, let me work behind the scenes quietly and without recognition" person, I think that is why he mentioned it.

I get this. My family did a lot of homeless outreach at our old church, and we worked to get one man off the streets, medicated and into a home. The pastor was getting ready to do a series on serving, and asked for permission to share L's story. I said that was fine, but I didn't want our names mentioned. When the sermon time came, he said "I know she will hate me for this, but", then mentioned that our family had been the ones to help him. He did so because at the time, we were going through our own struggles and he wanted to show people how we could have made excuses. I don't like attention and didn't help L for attention, so him calling us out made me uncomfortable. Even though I know he did it with good intentions. Edited May 29, 2017 by tbog

[Liz CA]

I can guarantee you that everyone in attendance has already forgotten about it.

 

I was going to write exactly this!

Nobody will remember and as someone else has said, a hand waving in the masses is kind of meaningless. This way people could at least see you.

 

[Lady Florida.]

No, I wouldn't be embarrassed. When he asked me to wave my hand I'd have remained standing and waved, then I'd sit back down.

[heartlikealion]

I don't know if knowing people at the church would make it more or less embarrassing. If I knew them, I could joke with them afterwards that I got mixed signals on what to do and laugh it off.

[katilac]

I'm very easily embarrassed, and it would not have occurred to me to be embarrassed about that at all. 

[Garga]

Sounds like it embarrassed your dh.  His harping on such a non-issue about you makes me think this is more about him than it is about you.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Garga

[catz]

Wow - that is no big deal at all.  Your DH is being weird.  LOL.  Is he overly sensitive and hyper aware of what people think?

[Twolittleboys]

Here I thought based on the thread title that this would be some extremely embarrassing/funny incident... But no, this is no big deal at all - noone will care. Your husband needs to chill a bit.

[Word Nerd]

I think your DH's comment is silly.

[Anne in CA]

Of all the things to be embarrassed about this wouldn't even be on my list at all. 

[winterbaby]

I get this. My family did a lot of homeless outreach at our old church, and we worked to get one man off the streets, medicated and into a home. The pastor was getting ready to do a series on serving, and asked for permission to share L's story. I said that was fine, but I didn't want our names mentioned. When the sermon time came, he said "I know she will hate me for this, but", then mentioned that our family had been the ones to help him. He did so because at the time, we were going through our own struggles and he wanted to show people how we could have made excuses. I don't like attention and didn't help L for attention, so him calling us out made me uncomfortable. Even though I know he did it with good intentions.

 

You are very gracious... that would feel like a significant violation of boundaries if it happened to me. Lying to you, and undermining your conscientious decision not to seek glory. BUT that is me, I am a very shy person. One time when talking about how our church is so strong it attracts people to drive long distances, the pastor specifically mentioned my location, which at the time was the farthest away and across the state line, and although it wasn't even my name I cringed hard inside because it was uniquely identifying.

 

But to the OP I'm sorry your husband made a thing of something so utterly insignificant. I hope he isn't being too uncool, and that it's not a habit for him to monitor your behavior in such detail.

Edited May 29, 2017 by winterbaby

[Cinder]

I have been in tons of churches often as a visitor representing something . I can't even count how many times people wave instead of stand or stand instead of wave. And no one thinks anything of it because the purpose-to acknowledge you publicly-was served either way.

 

Now if you broke into song and dance, he might have a point...

 

Or waved with both hands and started throwing kisses ... :001_rolleyes:

[DawnM]

You are very gracious... that would feel like a significant violation of boundaries if it happened to me. Lying to you, and undermining your conscientious decision not to seek glory. BUT that is me, I am a very shy person. One time when talking about how our church is so strong it attracts people to drive long distances, the pastor specifically mentioned my location, which at the time was the farthest away and across the state line, and although it wasn't even my name I cringed hard inside because it was uniquely identifying.

 

But to the OP I'm sorry your husband made a thing of something so utterly insignificant. I hope he isn't being too uncool, and that it's not a habit for him to monitor your behavior in such detail.

 

No, it isn't.  He is actually pretty easy going, so I was surprised he commented on it.  He didn't make a huge deal, but even mentioning it/commenting on it made me second guess.

[Janeway]

Gads, your husband sounds like mine, completely overreacting and over reading things.

 

No, that was absolutely not embarrassing! Sheesh! You did well.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Janeway

[DawnM]

Gads, your husband sounds like mine, completely overreacting and over reading things.

 

No, that was absolutely not embarrassing! Sheesh! You did well.

 

He normally doesn't over-react or read into things, so it surprised me!

[Slartibartfast]

No, only if my skirt was tucked in my underwear when I stood up would I be embarrassed in this situation.

[maize]

No cause for embarrassment at all.

[Guest]

No, embarrassing is when you trip on someone's front porch, lose your balance, fall off the porch, and evoke a flatulent emission upon landing on your butt. Not that this happened or anything.

[38carrots]

Not at all. No. Why?

 

Why is your DH over-reacting so majorly? What's bothering him?

[EMS83]

I would have been embarrassed to stand or wave to begin with, so I'm not help, lol.  I think you're fine, really.  I wouldn't, as an onlooker, have thought anything of it, fwiw.  

[Isabella]

Not embarrassing. You did what was required. ðŸ‘

[zoobie]

I'm a "don't look at me" person, and I might have been briefly sheepish, but most people are asked to stand, not wave a hand. It's habit. I wouldnt think anything about someone else standing. And I wouldn't ever comment to someone else that they should be embarrassed.

[Carrie12345]

No, only if my skirt was tucked in my underwear when I stood up would I be embarrassed in this situation.

 

Did that!

(Granted, I was probably 6 or 7, but still.)

[SKL]

No, I think people will just assume that's how they do it where you come from.  :)