S/O Why do you homeschool--did Sandy Hook or other school safety issues impact your decision?

[ExcitedMama]

After reading through the other thread I was wondering if anyone else was impacted by Sandy Hook or other issues with school safety? I'm an accidental homeschooler. I still haven't met any homeschoolers IRL and was firmly in the homeschoolers must be weird camp a few years ago. We bought the best house we could afford but it had an awful school district so somewhere along the line I began joking that I would homeschool before sending DS there, never serious just assuming we would move first. Then at some point I thought I guess I should actually read about homeschooling since we couldn't afford private school and it was unlikely we could afford to move to a better district. Of course as soon as I actually read about homeschooling I was immediately won over. I kept telling DH about it but he was firmly pro school. Ironically he loved the social aspect and didn't actually learn anything and just wanted our kids to go because he liked going. Then one day while at home playing with our little ones DH texted me that our kids were officially going to be homeschooled. I didn't know about Sandy Hook until he texted what had happened. That was enough to convince him. Of course months later he was still on the fence but it had been enough to shake him.

 

It doesn't help that every day there seems to be some new awful safety issue at schools, like molestation or bullying.

 

I'm just wondering if that has affected anyone else? I think it's easy to see how homeschooling is better academically, with tailored instruction, but I know there are a lot of people like me that had never bothered to look into it to know that or who just prefer the idea of school like DH did. We recently moved into a great district but now DH isn't pushing to enroll because after Sandy Hook he was willing to consider homeschooling.

[Junie]

School violence isn't the reason that I homeschool, but it is one of the reasons why my mother is so in favor of it.

[Heathermomster]

We were homeschooling prior to Sandy Hook, but violence was a reason to not enroll our kids in the system.  We are not from the area.  DH and I were active with the local cub scouts and always present when DS was involved with t-ball and soccer.  We were none too impressed with the behaviors of the parents or students that we met.

[Χά�ων]

School violence has not been on my radar. I homeschool for academic reasons. 

[Ellie]

Oh, yeah, we started hsing in 1982, long before Sandy Hook, and the thought of violence never entered my mind.

 

We initially chose private school because we had no confidence in public education. We started hsing because poor dd was burned out by Easter break of first grade (a school that used all ABeka, and was extremely rigid and rule-laden, a common attribute among schools which use all ABeka). We continued hsing because we loved it (dc not so much maybe, lol, but such is life).

[mellifera33]

School violence has nothing to do with why we homeschool. My kids are more likely to be injured or killed in the car on the way to a homeschool activity than they would be at school. Being killed in a car accident is so common that it rarely makes national news.

[creekland]

I still work in our public high school and I feel as safe here (perhaps safer due to safety precautions) as anywhere else in public.  In any event, I never worry about what might happen (crashes, unexpected weather, etc).  Worrying about those would ensure I miss a bunch of what is happening, esp if they caused me NOT to do things.

 

We chose to homeschool for academic reasons.

[UrbanSue]

Never even crossed my mind but a couple of family members have it on their list of why we're doing the right thing.  Which doesn't really bother me.

[regentrude]

School violence had absolutely nothing to do with my decision to homeschool. I homeschool for academic reasons.

 

My kids will attend live college, live extracurriculars, work in actual workplaces - all situations where violence is more of a potential problem than in schools.

Despite school shootings on college campuses, I teach at one and feel safe.

[clementine]

We started homeschooling two years after the Columbine shootings.  Although that did not influence our decision to start, when I hear of violence in the schools, I am so thankful that we do!  

[Arcadia]

I'm also an accidental homeschooled for academic reasons. School safety isn't an issue. I would worry though about neighborhood safety if the schools are all fenced in and there are metal detectors at all entrances.

 

I have a friend who's assigned school had frequent lockdowns. Where she stay (in law's home) wasn't safe either so it wasn't the school per se but the neighborhood. Her family would be equally affected by random gunfire homeschooling. They move to a relative's (empty nester) home in a safer area as a temporary solution.

 

There are people who kill for whatever reasons and those people aren't going to restrict themselves to schools.

 

Staying in a highly populated area and having grown up in metropolitan cities, there is nothing to stop someone who snap (for lack of a better word) to do a mass shooting in the malls, cinema or anywhere else with lots of people.

 

In my country, after 9/11 happened, we have uniformed and non-uniformed armed troops in the airport 24/7. All the trash cans near to mass rapid transit/subways were removed because of fear of hidden bombs. Where I was working, people were "joking" about hazard pay for having to fly.

 

Many years ago, a neighbor killed his entire family and himself. It wasn't expected.

 

If your spouse is choosing homeschooling only because of school shootings, then what about cinemas (Aurora,2012) and malls. Molestation and bullying happens in outside activities too. A local summer camp counselor was arrested recently for possession of child porn and molestation of the kids at camp.

[RKWAcademy]

We do so primarily for academic reasons.  We live in a less than stellar school district and cannot afford private school.  However, avoiding school violence is another reason to keep them out of public schools.  I would send them to private schools and public colleges if/when the school fits. 

[PeachyDoodle]

In a manner of speaking.

 

We homeschool for academic reasons; dd just wasn't being challenged in public school. I had been kicking around the idea of bringing her home since kindy, but I didn't have the confidence to do it. Dh would have deferred to me, but he wasn't sold on the idea either.

 

At the end of her 2nd grade year, a student in the class across the hall brought a pistol to school. He allegedly pointed it at one student's head and another's abdomen, then threatened them with harm if they reported the incident. He then brought it to school a second time, where it was discovered in his backpack after a parent of one of the victims reported him. This same student had allegedly threatened another child with a knife earlier in the year.

 

The incident itself wouldn't have precipitated our homeschooling. The gun was unloaded, no one was hurt, and things happen. However, the district opted not to enforce its own zero-tolerance policy and allowed the student to return the next day to the same classroom with the children he had threatened. Worse, they notified no one of the incident -- not parents of children in the class, not even the other teachers in the school. One teacher said she learned about it from her daughter -- a third grader! Long story short, we were not impressed with the district's attempt to CYA and felt that their first priority was not protecting its students but keeping up appearances. I still feel that the school is safe, and I wouldn't have any worries about sending dd or ds there if need be, but I was thoroughly disheartened by the lack of concern for students' well-being, as well as the lack of communication.

 

In the end, the gun incident and its aftermath tipped the scales for us. I'm thankful for the push it gave us -- we love homeschooling and don't see ourselves changing course anytime soon!

[Curlymom]

My children were in public school when Sandy Hook happened. It was nerve wracking and everyone was rattled and, honestly, I did want to just drive to the school and take them home that day. But that was just a gut reaction because my kids were the age of the Sandy Hook kids. The school district had a wonderful response and added extra security measures and we all felt our children were in good hands.

 

When I did pull them out, about a year later, it was for academic reasons.

[amsunshine]

School violence was not really a reason for us to homeschool.  We started before Sandy Hook, but after Columbine.

 

I am considering it when I think about our options for high school, though.  This year, a couple of local high schools have been locked down for hours at a time while the authorities have searched the campuses for weapons.  No actual violent acts have occurred, but the teachers and students were locked into their classrooms without being allowed to leave during these lock-downs.  The poor things would have to use trash cans as make-shift toilets.  Ummm....yes, this kind of thing gives me pause.

[indigomama]

School violence play no part in our reasons for schooling.

[Laura Corin]

School violence has not been an issue anywhere that I home educated.

[raptor_dad]

We home school for academics.

 

Shootings like Columbine bother me not from a public safety perspective, but because it shows how pathological school environments can trigger these sorts of things. Whether it is bullying and social pressure in Columbine or social and academic pressure in the recent Palo Alto suicide cluster or more mundane issues of drug abuse and underachievement, I believe we can provide a better academic environment without the stress and psychological damage of many elite public schools.

 

Sandy Hook seemed like a random event and only bothers me as a gun control issue not a school safety one.

[MrsWeasley]

I guess I'm in the minority. My daughter attended part of kindergarten, and she had a very rough year socially and a lack of academic challenge, so homeschooling was already on my radar at this point. When Sandy Hook happened, I wanted to pull my daughter out the next day, but my partner insisted she finish the year. It wasn't the deciding factor, but it definitely contributed to our decision.

[73349]

My concern about school violence is not so much the big national-news-making incidents (which are quite rare, especially if you think about the number of kids, the number of schools and the number of days), but the pervasive low-level violence that doesn't even get covered locally.

 

Even that was not one of our top reasons for homeschooling, though.

[Butter]

No, no bearing at all.  And two of my kids were in public school when a kid brought guns to a high school in our district last spring (not the school my daughter went to).

[idnib]

We don't homeschool because of the kind of violence to which you are referring, but one of my children does have some quirky things that I truly believe would have led to bullying. So in that sense, we did take safety and violence into account. But most of the reason we homeschool is for academic and family reasons.

[Space station]

The more common low level bullying in public school that eats away at self-esteem is higher on my list than the remote chance of violence.  However, we primarily homeschool for academic reasons.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I started homeschooling long before Sandy Hook.  School violence wasn't a reason I started.  It's a nice perk though.  Probably once a week the schools around here are on lock down because a fly farted suspiciously three miles over. 

 

My reasons were academic.

 

 

[Desert Strawberry]

Not for me.

[Coco_Clark]

I homeschooled my oldest because he was obviously not going to do well in school (social anxiety, separation anxiety, and sensory processing disorder).  I then homeschooled my next in line because I fell in love with the lifestyle and neither of us can imagine him being away from home 7 or 8 hours a day.  

I take it year by year and kid by kid, but no, school violence hasn't really played into our decision making so far.  

[quark]

I don't homeschool for violence reasons either but can totally understand why someone with younger kids would have that reaction and want to homeschool as a result. Like Arcadia, I can't believe how much like prisons some schools here are. It is beyond my experience. I went to school in beautiful open-plan, school grounds, we could look out to see the street (although almost everything we could see were cars and a main thoroughfare). It was a government-funded public school.

 

Above anything, I love watching my child when I homeschool, being there with him instead of missing out on those precious growing years. I love the discussions and the discoveries. The simple moments when we chased bunny trails are what I carry with me the most. I can't see doing it for merely protective reasons although the key trigger for us to begin homeschooling in the first place was due to bullying by a teacher.

[Mom23Boys]

We started homeschooling for schedule reasons. My DH is a rotating shift worker and if the kids were in public school, during some parts of his schedule, they would end up not seeing him at all.

We started in 1st grade and originally thought we would be sending the kids to school starting in 6th grade because they would be older and could understand that their Dad only had to work a few days without seeing them. Most of the time at least. He just worked 10 weeks of nights, 4 on/1 off and wouldn't have seen them much at all.

My oldest is now going into 7th grade and we are discussing homeschooling high school. We now homeschool both for schedule reasons and academic.

School violence like you are talking about played no part in our decision, bullying is a pro for homeschooling, but wasn't a determining factor.

[Rachel]

School violence was not a influence in our decision.

[dirty ethel rackham]

School violence was not a factor, but potential bullying was.  I was bullied and harassed for years in school and am well aware of that dynamic and how powerless the victims feel.  We made our decision long before Sandy Hook or Columbine or whatever else was out there. 

[AimeeM]

No, not really. We homeschooled prior to Sandy Hook.

Does it give us one more reason to homeschool? Safety issues, I mean. Sure. Although locally it's more a matter of inappropriate teacher/student "relationships," but six to one, half dozen to another (so, still a safety issue, IMO).

 

[snowbeltmom]

Our reasons for homeschooling were purely academic.  As others have said, school shootings are extremely rare and would not be a reason for me to homeschool.  That being said, I do think avoiding the "socialization" that goes on in schools is a huge fringe benefit of homeschooling. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

No.  It was not a factor in our decision.  

[DhanyaCali]

I always wanted to homeschool, but the shootings, molestation, peer on peer violence and precocious sex acts, smart phone bullying, etc YEAH that is a factor in my reluctance to send them.

 

So is the walking dead, all the elementary kids here play that during recess. G-uuuhg!

 

But of course it is mostly about being my child's main influence and what is best for him, even outside of PS bad situations.

[shawthorne44]

I decided in High School that I wanted my child to be homeschooled.   So, it didn't effect my decision.  But, Sandy Hook did effect me.  I remember sobbing at my desk.  If I'd had a child in school, I probably would have started homeschooling that afternoon.  I went on a news hiatus for a couple of months after that.  

 

The problem with school violence is that it is completely and totally out of the parent's control or even awareness.  As a PP pointed out, it sometimes isn't handled as it should be by those who are in control.  A car accident is somewhat in my control.  Sometimes it isn't and a car comes out from nowhere and plows into you.  But sometimes it is the parent being a blithering idiot.  A coworker's son is a quad. from a car accident.  His wife passed a car in a no passing area, saw another car coming and accelerated to try to "make it".  She didn't.  She was fine, but their baby wasn't.  

[MrsBasil]

School violence was not on my list of why I wanted to homeschool.

 

TV news shows/segments about school violence and bullying have made several skeptical family members more in favor of it. Not that their opinion was a factor, but now I no longer have vocal naysayers in my family.

 

Seeing friends who are frantic because a local elementary school has gone on lockdown or the kids are taking shelter during a tornado and are away from mom makes me feel a bit relieved to have my young kids with me during bad storms and that they've never been through a lockdown at a young age.

[Jackie]

We homeschool for academic reasons. School violence wasn't a consideration at all.

[OneStepAtATime]

School violence was definitely NOT the reason we started homeschooling.  The kids were both struggling but very bright.  We got a diagnosis of dyslexia, saw what little the schools were offering to help, and pulled them out.

 

That being said, I have friends who are teachers here and friends and family with kids in schools here and the incidence of violence, bullying, intimidation, etc. is disturbing.  At the local High School one of my teacher friends witnessed and tried to stop one boy brutally beating a smaller boy into unconsciousness right outside her classroom door.  And that was at the beginning of the year.  It got worse.  My nephews were trying to convince my daughter she should go back to school for High School because the police raids are fun.  :confused1:   

 

Yet there are some good schools here.  And there isn't violence all the time.  PS is not, I think, the cesspool of evil that many make it out to be.  I don't think for me personally that this is something I would make the main issue with deciding to homeschool my kids.  There are charter schools, magnate schools, private schools, etc. in our area that seem to be avoiding the level of bullying and violence that periodically occurs in the local ps.   And there are a lot of public schools in other areas that are not experiencing quite the same escalation we have had.  There is an IB school here that made it into the top 10 High Schools listed in the U.S.  Definitely, bullying would be something I would want to consider.  But fear that someone is going to come in and shoot up the school?  No.  Not a big concern even now.

[Heatherwith4]

It did not factor into our original decision. However, the day Sandy Hook happened, I remember being so glad my children were home with me so I could love on them.

 

Bullying was one of the reasons, but not the main one.

[mamaraby]

We started homeschooling for schedule reasons. My DH is a rotating shift worker and if the kids were in public school, during some parts of his schedule, they would end up not seeing him at all.

.....

We now homeschool both for schedule reasons and academic.

 

School violence like you are talking about played no part in our decision

Ditto.

[KrissiK]

No. I was homeschooling long before that. Although, if I didn't have any other options I certainly wouldn't put my kids in our local public high school due to some violence (gang shootings not exactly on campus, but just off campus) and other bad things happenings. Fortunately, we do have a charter high school, which is our first choice and a Christian school which is our back up come high school. If we didn't have those options, I'd be homeschooling high school as well.

[happypamama]

I was already homeschooling when SH happened, but I was a young newlywed when Columbine happened. We'd already planned to homeschool, and school violence wasn't really on our radar as being a reason. But I will say that the thought has crossed my mind that no matter what happens to my children (because you can't control accidents, natural disasters, etc.), at least they will never have to know the terror that has got to happen when you're hiding under desks and trying to be quiet with thirty other children for fear of being found and shot. I cannot imagine how horrific it must have been for children or their parents.

 

(Bullying of the mean girl variety, otoh -- that was far from the only reason, but it's definitely on my list.)

[HS Mom in NC]

Not at all.

 

We decided in the very late 1990s that we would homeschool mostly for academic and attachment parenting reasons. School violence wasn't really a major issue outside of some of the worst inner city schools. I was never a fan of the typical ps socialization, but it wasn't a big factor in our decision to homeschool.

[Hwin]

No, not a big thing like a school shooting. I think my kid would be an easy target for bullies, though. 

[Mergath]

I wouldn't homeschool if school violence was my only reason. We have many other reasons we homeschool. School violence would probably be something like twelfth on the list.

 

I can't say it's never crossed my mind, though. Dd was the same as age the Sandy Hook kids when that happened, and it's impossible for something like that not to have an effect. We had already decided to homeschool at that point, but it reinforced that I wanted to keep dd at home.

[HeWillSoar]

I homeschool because the schools couldn't meet the needs of my kids--gifted and special needs.  There are other benefits as well  but that was what prompted me.  I do have a son in public high school and it does cross my mind that there could be a shooting but I know that it is rare.  I worry more about the other things he is exposed to. 

[AdventuresinHomeschooling]

This is not a major reason why we homeschool, but it is one of many reasons why I wouldn't choose public school. In the upper levels, gang violence and bullying is more concerning to me in our area. However, we were in a great private, classical school where we lived before. And even in this wonderful private school, we just got burnt out. I knew I wanted my kids to do many of the extracurriculars and sports and music lessons, and There just wasn't time for that with a full day of school and homework on top of it. I think my kids would have done well there overall, but I wanted more time as a parent to spend with my children in teaching them. Cost was also a major issue at the time as I am home with smaller kids. Even with a great job, putting three kids in private school and daycare and the costs of working and school extras would have had me bringing home very little. I msy do something part time to bring in extra, but it wasn't worth me working full time just to be burnt out as a taxi service and never seeing my kids. I felt myself constantly barking orders at my oldest and never spending quality time with him.

 

We started homeschooling and just loved it. We had deep conversations, freedom to travel, freedom to stay up late for special things, freedom to do more hands on learning with field trips, freedom to read books for pleasure, freedom to play with siblings, etc. I liked the tailored instruction. I do sometimes feel like the private school packed more in than I can sometimes, but overall, we gained something different that I am pleased with. Those are the reasons we will stick with homeschooling for now.

[My3girls]

No, it was not a factor, but I am happy that they are home with me when any safety situation arises. We had "snowpocalypse" here in the Atlanta area last year. I was thankful my kids were home and not stuck on a bus on the side of the road or at the school overnight. They played outside in it while I watched the madness on tv. This year we had tornado warnings. The neighbor girl spent an hour in the hallway with her head between her knees, and they released school late because of it. Again, I was glad my babies were home with me.

 

I know the teachers would do everything they could to keep the kids safe, but when there is one teacher per 20+ kids, that's hard to do. They are better off with me.

[zoobie]

School violence wasn't a factor, but I can't say I mind my kids not having school shooter drills.

 

Avoiding bullying, poor social behaviors, etc., yes, is a factor, but not the deciding factor. More like a side benefit.

[Ausmumof3]

Like lots of other posters here it's not the risk of a large scale shooting event but the low level bullying and poor socialisation that contributes.

 

The longer I homeschool the more I realise that although I have a variety of reasons for homeschooling the main one is because I want to. Although I complain and we have our bad days I actually really like teaching me kids and hanging out with them and I don't want to give the job to someone else.