Butter Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Twice now I have encountered people saying that *all* moms who take an interest in their kids' education are homeschooling moms. All children are in public school, but if the mom spends time afterschooling or even just making sure homework gets done properly, they count as a homeschooling their kids. So what say you? Is it homeschooling even if your kids are in public school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Turn the question around. Is every homeschooling mom an involved parent? (This is what your question suggests). I've met quite a few families where the mom is all focused on the homeschooling but could care less about her children as individuals and are very distant beyond educating them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I know many, many moms who take an interest in their children's education but don't consider themselves homeschooling moms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I'd consider it misleading to say that I am a homeschooling parent when what I am doing is simply after-schooling. However, I would be willing to say that active after-schooling has a lot in common with homeschooling, including curriculum selection and direct instruction. perhaps I could go so far as to call it "a kind of homeschooling" -- but it's a very part-time kind. Without any curriculum-style materials, and without regular, intentional direct instruction (for example, having your own scope and sequence, not just answering anything that comes up, not just clearing up homework confusion) I don't think being involved with the home-end of a school-based education should be called homeschooling. But, maybe it should be called something. Maybe, "Providing extensive educational support"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I voted Squirrel. Because I don't really care. If someone said, 'Oh, I'm a homeschooling mom/parent', I would assume their kids don't attend a brick & mortar school. But I don't really care how they choose to see themselves. *shrug* I wouldn't insist that they weren't, and can see the validity of them feeling like they were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted October 5, 2014 Author Share Posted October 5, 2014 I suggested that what being involved in kids' education while sending the kids to public school is is mothering/parenting, not homeschooling. Interestingly, both instances of the assertion that kids can attend public school and the mom be a homeschooling mom came from full-time homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 So if I were a paid tutor, would that make me the homeschooling "mom" of every student I tutor? There is a big difference between making sure your kid does his homework and being solely or nearly sorely responsible for his or her education that year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I call it afterschooling. ;) I did homeschool Miss E for half a year. I took responsibility for making sure she covered a certain range of subjects and studied them a certain amount of time each week. The buck stopped with me, vs. consulting a school teacher about anything. I kept records to prove we'd done enough to justify promotion to the next grade. Ultimately she was accepted into a school program that worked out for us, and then I switched to afterschooling. It was a fine line in 1st grade, when Miss A was not really learning in school. I pretty much taught her everything she needed to know in order to pass 1st grade. We spent hours most evenings. It was much more than afterschooling a few subjects for remediation or enrichment. However, it was the school who decided whether or not she completed 1st and got promoted to 2nd. If I was a homeschooler, I'd make that determination, right? I don't even think all involved PS parents "afterschool." I don't think making sure the kids do their homework / taking them to museums equals schooling. I call that parenting. Though again, the line can be gray at times, e.g., when the teacher sends home work the kids can't do without being taught by the parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I think a homeschooling parent is one without a system to blame if the kids don't receive an education. I am familiar with the argument that it is ultimately a parental responsibility to ensure kids are educated even when they are enrolled in school, but in reality that education is provided by an external source. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Uh no. Not every homeschooling mom is proactive about their children's education. Lots of parents who send their children to school are very proactive about education and involved in their education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 No, I don't think it is homeschooling when you work with your child after school, even if you are using different curriculum than the school, covering different topics, or whatever. It would have been confusing and I honestly think it would have been misrepresenting the situation to call myself a homeschooler when I was afterschooling my kiddos. Now that they are no longer in a brick and mortar school we are homeschooling. That doesn't mean that parents who are actively involved and engaged in teaching their kids after school should not be acknowledged as doing something beyond the norm. I agree with bolt that a different term might be coined for that scenario. But not homeschooler. Too confusing. Honestly, though, if someone else wants to call themselves that, it is no big deal to me. I just think it is sort of confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Legally it isn't. I don't really care about the other stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 No. I know lots of school mums who put in almost as much time as I do homeschooling. They are pretty amazing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 No, I don't call every parent a homeschooling parent. People I know who were homeschooling and at some point sent their kids to a school say they STOPPED homeschooling. I would say the same. I would still be involved in ds' s education if he went to school but I wouldn't be a homeschooling parent anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I agree, why get hung up on it? It is possible for a person with a kid in B&M to be doing more teaching at home than a homeschooler of a same-aged kid. For example, when my kid was in 1st we were doing more than some homeschoolers do with a kid who turns 6 in October. An afterschooler whose kid has special needs might also do as much as or more than some homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Uh, no, that is just called good parenting, not homeschooling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 What in the world? No way. I think there are some people who claim the homeschooling label who aren't legally homeschooling - in particular parents with kids doing online VA's and afterschoolers - who I think, okay, I guess maybe, sometimes it makes sense to claim that label. But supervising homework? No. Why can't people just own it and say they're an involved public school parent. It's not better or worse. But to say you're "homeschooling" is silly, misleading, and weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I feel like we're HSing because of our situation, amount necessary, poor PS curriculum choice for us, desire to enrich, etc. But I don't call myself a HSer because we're after schooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I put a band aid on my kid this morning. I'm a doctor! ;) Seriously, I don't really care, but I would think someone was a little nuts if she told me that. She'd get an oooookay, and I'd smile and look for an escape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I've heard that before. I view it along the same lines as "every mom is a working mom". I don't care what others think of themselves really.....but I quietly think it's a silly claim to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I put a band aid on my kid this morning. I'm a doctor! ;) Seriously, I don't really care, but I would think someone was a little nuts if she told me that. She'd get an oooookay, and I'd smile and look for an escape. :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 Not even remotely. However, on the other side of that, it drives me batty when people say you can tell a homeschool family by their: trips to the museums/concerts/making change at WalMart into a math lesson/etc/etc. ANY involved parent does that stuff, not just homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 5, 2014 Share Posted October 5, 2014 I do not claim to be a homeschooling mom anymore (I homeschooled for about 5 years), but I do still consider myself a home educator. I also still think like a homeschooling mom in terms of my views about education and the value of different learning opportunities outside of a school setting. I don't care whether anyone thinks I should think of myself as a home educator; I don't talk about it with other people anyway or actually identify myself out loud that way. (I voted No in the poll.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 No. I am no longer a homeschooling mom since my dds are in ps. It doesn't mean I'm not involved. I read two short stories and a chapter in an AP European History textbook this weekend to help dd understand a few things, but I'm not homeschooling her. Dh is at the table for at least an hour most nights helping one or the other with math (they have bad teachers this year) but he wouldn't call himself a homeschooling dad. I also wasn't homeschooling yet when they were preschool age but they knew all their colors, letters, numbers, and how to write their names by the age of three/four years old (and one was reading). I actually sent both of mine to ps K because I wasn't planning on homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 All involved parents are to some degree teaching their children. But homeschooling means they are doing it completely without school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I would say no, but I have told several moms who seemed to feel guilty that they *didn't* homeschool that regardless of where kids learn their "subjects", their most important learning happens at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I've always found this a hilarious assertion, especially when you lay out for them what homeschooling looks like very generally in terms of time, scope, and prep and many of these same moms insist they could *never* do that! All parents are responsible for their children's education. Some choose to take that responsibility seriously while using an institution. Some take that responsibility seriously by assuming full jurisdiction of and execution of the teaching. These are different, and one isn't inherently better or more virtuous than the other. But neither are they the same, and it skews the effort involved in home educating well to insist that all parents who care have the same level of effort and control of their children's education when a school is used and teachers are involved. I actually find such assertions insulting to the teachers, truthfully! I agree, but to the bolded, there are some teachers (surely a small minority) who deserve it. When a parent has to teach a kid everything at night after the kid has spent 7 hours in B&M school, the teacher isn't doing the teaching. Sometimes we are just keeping our kid "in school" because we hope the next year will be better. As a former homeschooler recently posted, having kids in B&M school is a lot of work even when the teachers do their jobs; add hours of "afterschooling" on top of that every day, and homeschooling starts to look like the easier choice for some situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 All involved parents are to some degree teaching their children. But homeschooling means they are doing it completely without school. I think this might vary by state though. I think in some states, homeschoolers get a certain amount of support from the school system, e.g., textbooks/materials, a guiding teacher, testing, stipend, participation in sports and clubs, even attending selected classes in the B&M school .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 ETA: I just realized I misunderstood the question entirely. I really should not answer stuff like this on nyquil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 HOMEschooling implies the child is at home full time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 That is just bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I can kind of see both sides of this. I had my oldest in school for 2 years. I felt like having him in school in early to mid elementary was more intensive than homeschooling a child that was well ahead of grade level. So no, I don't really think when you have kids in school it's called "homeschooling". I think of it as being invested in your child's development and education, which ideally all parents would be. I don't get wrapped up in semantics myself. If it makes a parent who is "afterschooling" feel better to call it homeschooling, fine by me. Whatever floats your boat. I will also say, my kid was not at all served academically in the classroom. Anything he learned those 2 years pretty much came from home. Trying to negotiate a meaningful education for my quirky, GT kids from a B&M school seems like more effort than trying to cobblestone together home education. Being a parent is hard work and I just refuse to invest any more energy in mommy wars, which I feel like some of these discussions start to lean towards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted October 6, 2014 Author Share Posted October 6, 2014 If it makes a parent who is "afterschooling" feel better to call it homeschooling, fine by me. Whatever floats your boat. If it was an mom with kids in PS calling herself a homeschooling mom I'd chuckle to myself and be like whatever. In both of these cases, it's actual, full time homeschooling moms making the assertion that helping with homework or afterschooling (like Ben Carson's mother did) is homeschooling. Apparently it's a mommy war for me to say that helping/supporting a kid academically is just plain good parenting, but still not homeschooling. (FWIW, when it came up the first time a few months ago, I told some RL friends with kids in public school that because they are involved they are homeschoolers, too. They laughed hysterically. They thought it was the silliest thing they ever heard.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 If it was an mom with kids in PS calling herself a homeschooling mom I'd chuckle to myself and be like whatever. In both of these cases, it's actual, full time homeschooling moms making the assertion that helping with homework or afterschooling (like Ben Carson's mother did) is homeschooling. Apparently it's a mommy war for me to say that helping/supporting a kid academically is just plain good parenting, but still not homeschooling. (FWIW, when it came up the first time a few months ago, I told some RL friends with kids in public school that because they are involved they are homeschoolers, too. They laughed hysterically. They thought it was the silliest thing they ever heard.) I think the confusion comes from the fact that good homeschooling uses the same skills as good parenting. This is why I stick to legal definitions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 To me this is like a Mom who is not employed insisting that she IS a "working mom" because being a mom is a lot of work. It is a lot of work, of course, but this always annoys me. Most of the time, the person knows that by "working" one means, "employed." I've even had women insist that *I* am a working mom. Sigh. I am not. I work hard, but I am not too daft to be able to tell by context that the person is talking about employment, and if I am confused, I can always ask! I think perhaps someone is making the point that all involved parents teach their children a great deal at home. But in order to make that point, it sounds like they are muddying the conversational water. I mean, if someone asks me, "Are you still homeschooling," I understand what they are asking. The fact that I worked with my kid today on the proper use of a semi-colon does not mean I homeschool. It means I am a Mom helping her kid with homework. Why irritate the person I am talking to in order to make some point about how I still have a role in my kid's life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Maybe by the very most loosely defined term. Honestly, though, it causes me to roll my eyes when family/friends describe helping their child with homework as "homeschooling". To me, that reads a lot like me saying, as a SAHM, that I work as a driver, a doctor, a nurse, a chef, a maid, and a nanny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daffodil Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Um, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Does every parent choose the curriculum and change it as needed? Does every mom teach her child to read? By that I mean phonics, comprehension, Latin and Greek roots and spelling? Does every mom teach her kid to write? By that I mean handwriting, typing, composition, summaries, biographies, comparison contrast papers, research papers, persuasive essays, literary analysis etc.? Does every mom teach her child math? By that I mean arithmetic, algebra, geometry, trigonometry, etc.? Does every mom teach her child grammar? By that I mean parts of speech, sentence diagramming, syntax and structure, etc. ? Does every mom teach her kid science? By that I mean biology, chemistry, astronomy, physics, error analysis, etc.? Does every mom teach her kid logic? By that I mean deductive,inductive, analogies, syllogisms, red herrings, straw man arguments, contradictory and contrary statements, etc? Does every parent teach her child world history, heritage studies, national history, and for Americans, state history? That's what this homeschooler and her husband do. He didn't call himself a homeschool dad until he started teaching them math and science at the Jr. and Sr. levels. Before then he would say, "My wife homeschools." I don't homeschool those subjects at that level-he does. So, no. Every parent involved in their child's education is an excellent parent and we should applaud and encourage them to continue doing something so incredibly important. Remember that as homeschoolers, it's much easier for us to get our kids what we need where as parents with kids in institutional settings have far more frustrations and hurdles to overcome advocating for their children. They need all the encouragement we can give them. You go, involved moms! And dads! Our society is better off because of all you're pouring into your kids when they're home after school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 To me, that reads a lot like me saying, as a SAHM, that I work as a driver, a doctor, a nurse, a chef, a maid, and a nanny. Oh, but you do! :lol: Don't forget general manager, personal assistant, and life coach... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I guess it's like when my sister-in-law says she's essentially a single mom because her husband works long hours? :P I don't know what would motivate a homeschooling mom to insist that all involved PS parents are homeschoolers. (Maybe some arguably are though - those whose kids' needs are severely neglected at school). Maybe it would help to know the context. For example, an involved PS mom might have a legitimate reason to need access to homeschooling materials or information. But it reminds me of the working moms who, to be diplomatic, are careful to say SAHMs are working moms too. I'm thinking the word "mom" says enough. If you're a mom you probably don't lie around in bed all day telling your kids to change their own diapers and cook their own dinner and pay the utility bills. The "working mom" clarification is so people realize you have additional constraints such as the inability to do personal stuff during business hours etc. But now we have to say "WOHM" or "WAHM" because WM is disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I afterschool my little one but when I describe our family's situation, I say that I homeschool my older two but not my youngest. The academic work I do with her supplements what she gets in PS rather than replaces school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I wouldn't call a mom who supervises homework as homeschooling any more than I would call a tutor who helps junior pass math a homeschooler. To me, homeschooling implies being the main academic educator and taking primary responsibility for the child's education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebbyribs Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I agree, but to the bolded, there are some teachers (surely a small minority) who deserve it. When a parent has to teach a kid everything at night after the kid has spent 7 hours in B&M school, the teacher isn't doing the teaching. Sometimes we are just keeping our kid "in school" because we hope the next year will be better. As a former homeschooler recently posted, having kids in B&M school is a lot of work even when the teachers do their jobs; add hours of "afterschooling" on top of that every day, and homeschooling starts to look like the easier choice for some situations. That is a great description of my oldest daughter's last year of B&M school and how I came to be homeschooling her. My thought at the time was, "I'm already homeschooling her for reading and math, why not make it official?" (At that point, I had moved from supporting the teacher's methods at home to using different curricula because I felt it was time to try another method.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Eh? I don't think so. Homeschooling ≠involved and public schooling ≠uninvolved. I've seen homeschooling parents who are so uninvolved I think you'd have to rightly take the word "school" out of "homeschooling" when referring to them. I dislike it when homeschoolers get so uppity that they think all homeschooling and homeschoolers are superior to any public schooling and public schoolers. That a twisty bit of arrogance that when the really bad homeschoolers pop into the public light make that crow all the less tasty going down. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Not an accurate description...however, I would still consider someone enrolled in an on-line virtual academy a home schooler (but I've been told in no uncertain terms they are not). To me, it doesn't matter who a curriculum provider might be, though...I did just as much (or more) work as a mom "overseeing" my kids education through a virtual academy, as I did using a wide variety of resources. I serve as more of a facilitator/organizer for my oldest kids, but even though I'm not sitting at their side teaching them one-on-one, I'm still homeschooling them (keeping records, choosing curriculum, planning courses, evaluating learning) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Dissenting here. I wouldn't call her a homeschooling mom but if she is re teaching, checking homework, facilitating research and engaging about school, plus volunteering in the school, then there's the reading, the library programs, the scout events...that is pretty much what I do now. It was also pretty much what I did when they were in school or what I do with my now PS kid. One of the reasons we started Homeschooling was the feeling it might be less work. It often is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I've heard that before. I view it along the same lines as "every mom is a working mom". I don't care what others think of themselves really.....but I quietly think it's a silly claim to make. I also inwardly roll my eyes when I hear "every mom is a working mom." Um no, I am not a working mom - I'm not employed; I don't receive a paycheck for work I do in or out of the house. I am a homeschooling mom - I supervise my kids' education, provide the materials, teach the classes or find/hire teachers for them, am accountable to the state of PA to provide them with "an appropriate education." (quote from PA homeschooling law) It is a silly thing to get hung up on but words have meanings. It's not helpful when people just decide a word means what they want it to mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I homeschool my youngest. He is done around lunchtime and is a breeze to teach and work with. My oldest goes to private school and every single night and weekend I have to spend almost as many hours as he spends in school doing homework, projects, or just plain helping him out. I do not consider this homeschooling. It takes more time and is just as involved but to my mind it is not the same thing whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 A mom taking an interest in her child's education is not a homeschooling mom she is a mom taking an interest/active role in her child's education. That makes her an involved parent. Homeschooling or not parents who take an active role in their child's education have successful students no matter where they are being educated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 No. The scouting world is full of very involved parents. You can spot them at the leader meetings or just look for the ones in uniform. The majority of them don't homeschool. I don't find the homeschooler population in scouts to be any higher than in the community itself. *shrug* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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