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It's hard for me to post this because it makes it much more real.


Rose in BC
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Rose, I had been following your story with your son, but I must have missed some major posts, the last I had known he was living with your niece. I am SO sorry! I can't imagine the grief you are feeling. It is very sad and scary that your parental rights were thrown away so easily. Lots of prayers going up for you and your son!

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I was a 16 year old who moved out of my parent's house against their wishes and did not speak with them for 2 full years.  Relations were very spotty for the years of 18-20.  At 20 I became pregnant and decided I needed to try and mend my family issues.

 

At 30, I now have a fairly normal relationship with my father.  My mother and I are attempting. 

 

All this to say, quite a few things can change from 16 onward.  Sometimes people need space to grow up - both the parents and the kids.

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I was a 16 year old who moved out of my parent's house against their wishes and did not speak with them for 2 full years. Relations were very spotty for the years of 18-20. At 20 I became pregnant and decided I needed to try and mend my family issues.

 

At 30, I now have a fairly normal relationship with my father. My mother and I are attempting.

 

All this to say, quite a few things can change from 16 onward. Sometimes people need space to grow up - both the parents and the kids.

Again, thanks to everyone's kind words. EndofOrdinary, thank you so much for your words of hope. My gut tells me we will see him again. I'm not sure it's going to be soon but I will dream of the day I open the door to see my boy again. I do think he is a boy who needs his space.

 

I took a couple days off work but know I have to unstuck myself from this funk, for the sake of the rest of my family and myself.

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You know, if it wasn't happening to us I wouldn't believe the things we've experienced. I feel like a made for TV movie. I keep thinking back to all things we could have, should have, would have done differently with our poor broken boy. But we didn't know how broken he was.

I am heartbroken for you all.

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(((((Hugs))))))

 

Your love for your family is phenomenal and shines though in your posts.  After all he has put you through over the years, many parents would be relieved to finally be free of the anguish that comes from raising a child with RAD. But instead of silently walking away...You keep fighting to keep your family intact!  You and your family are wonderful people and seem to have truly unconditional love and the most amazing, forgiving hearts.  

 

I really hope your son continues to maintain contact and returns to have a relationship with your family.   

 

Try to not beat yourself up with the what-ifs in life.  You care so much and seem to have great instincts with your kids, that I am sure you were doing a better job raising him than you are giving yourself credit for.  One thing to remember, is that you would have not figured out what was wrong, had you not tried everything you did over the years.  Getting the proper diagnosis, care and therapies are all based on figuring out what didn't work....as well as what did work.  The fact that he continues to have a bit of contact with your family, shows that there really is a bond there.  He is just trying to figure out how to work out the details of that, in the upside down world of how his brain processes needs vs wants.  

 

Tons of virtual hugs, positive thoughts and warm wishes of peace for you and yours as you all start to heal from such a very hurtful week. 

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