Firefly Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I don't think I'll ever forget the warning I once saw on a curling iron: "For external use only." :eek: Wha--? The mind boggles. Along these lines, a friend of mine found this in his Mini Cooper manual: "Your MINI's halogen lights are integrated into the bonnet (hood). Subsequently, raising the bonnet raises the headlamps. A handy feature for attracting Luna moths, playing Romeo & Juliet, illuminating nighttime tailgate parties and locating sexy neighbor's treed kitty. In the event of being hopelessly stranded in the middle of nowhere, or just hopelessly bored at home, rake the night sky with your headlights using a Hollywood premiere sweeping motion and let the party (search or otherwise) find you." That's actually in the Unauthorized Owner's Manual which looks nearly identical to the real one-- it's hilarious. Love my Mini. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 On a scooter: "Object is moving when in use". On the coffee pot: "Do not hold over people." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I honestly can't for the life of me figure out how I could possibly poke my self in the eye. The poking out part can be adjusted either toward my eye or against it. However the viewfinder has a rubber piece that is out past the viewfinder. I actually tried to poke my eye just so I could see how it could happen and still could not manage to do it by adjusting the viewfinder. So as I said I am not sure why that warning is there. Bahahahahahahaha!!! This is hilarious!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 These are absolutely excellent! I know this is an oldie but to me it is still such a goodie. I love that my shampoos, conditioners, body wash, etc all still say either "Not for internal use" or "For external use only" or such. Every morning those bottles are facing me in the little bottle rack and I chuckle thinking of the poor marketers (I'm a marketer, so I always think of them first.). They had to sit around with this and all these other warnings and think, "To protect our client, what are some really stupid things people might actually consider doing with this? Might they think they can shortcut their cleanse diet by chugging a bottle of shampoo? Yes? Ok, put it on there!" People...please! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I like the little packets of stuff that comes with shoes that says Do Not Eat. Who thinks that would taste good? My dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I like the one not to iron your clothes while wearing them. I actually know someone that did this. She put a magazine up her pant leg and ironed her pants, and promptly burned herself. My hairdryer came with a warning that said, "Do not use while in shower." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 A regional chain makes fun of these warnings with drink cups that say "Warning: May contain liquid" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 My dog. Yes! See? It's only for those that can't read. :) LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I took a legal liabilities class for my master's program. It was for business and fitness groups. But what the professor said was that pretty much all of those warnings came about because someone tried it and attempted to sue. THe classic for me is "remove baby from stroller before folding"..... REALLY :confused1: :banghead: I mean I assume they put it there because some one tried it??? or is that a CYA thing??? I HOPE it is a CYA thing and not because someone complained when they tried it.... :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I love the stupid warnings on things because they do not put out those warnings until someone has ALREADY done that exact thing they are warning against. It reminds me of the household rules we had when ds14 was small. Everyday was a new rule because he did something incrediably stupid so I had to make a rule to make sure he did not do it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I've always liked the one that tells me not to operate my hair dryer while sleeping. Ha! My friend, who has 4 kids under the age of 7 was so exhausted the other day that she fell asleep standing up while drying her hair. She should have read the warning... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 A regional chain makes fun of these warnings with drink cups that say "Warning: May contain liquid" I'll betcha $10 that within 10 years that will actually be a thing on all liquid containers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khselee Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 When I flew to Seattle recently (I took a picture of this to send to my husband when the plane landed, because I thought it was so ridiculous), I got a beverage and a little packet of peanuts...which had the warning on the back: "Warning: may contain peanuts." Wow. I never would have thought that the complimentary packet of peanut would contain, you know, peanuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 One of my all time favorites was a Highway Department sign on the side of the road out in NM: Gusty Winds May Exist. Huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skeeterbug Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 My iPad came with a warning not to microwave it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellen Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 One of my all time favorites was a Highway Department sign on the side of the road out in NM: Gusty Winds May Exist. Huh? All along the Rocky Mountains extremely strong gusts of wind can blow down the mountain. The wind is strong enough to overturn a semi and does cause traffic accidents. A car will have to fight to stay in its lane. That sign was telling you to be cautious and keep both hands on the wheel because you won't know a gust is coming until it slams into the side of your vehicle. It seems like they need to make the sign clearer for out of area people who are unfamiliar with the wind's strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 All along the Rocky Mountains extremely strong gusts of wind can blow down the mountain. The wind is strong enough to overturn a semi and does cause traffic accidents. A car will have to fight to stay in its lane. That sign was telling you to be cautious and keep both hands on the wheel because you won't know a gust is coming until it slams into the side of your vehicle. It seems like they need to make the sign clearer for out of area people who are unfamiliar with the wind's strength. when I read your first sentence, my first thought was "how can a wind blow a mountain down, must be REALLY strong winds" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 One of my all time favorites was a Highway Department sign on the side of the road out in NM: Gusty Winds May Exist. Huh? All along the Rocky Mountains extremely strong gusts of wind can blow down the mountain. See now I took the post to question the fact that gusty winds *may* exist. The wording does not explain the situation well. It makes it sound like gusty winds may or may not be real. Along similar lines there is a bridge in the Panama City Beach area that warns motorists of Low Flying Planes. When we first saw that we all laughed. One guy said, "What are we supposed to do--duck?" But one of the other guys (who was from the area) mentioned that when a plane flies over it can be very startling--it's loud and feels way too close. So that's what the warning is supposed to be for. I don't suppose they can explain all that on a sign that you're reading while traveling at high speed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 All along the Rocky Mountains extremely strong gusts of wind can blow down the mountain. The wind is strong enough to overturn a semi and does cause traffic accidents. A car will have to fight to stay in its lane. That sign was telling you to be cautious and keep both hands on the wheel because you won't know a gust is coming until it slams into the side of your vehicle. It seems like they need to make the sign clearer for out of area people who are unfamiliar with the wind's strength. I think they need to re-write the sign. 'Beware: Hazardous Gusty Winds' or something might be better. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I like the one not to iron your clothes while wearing them. Years ago, there was a Braves player who was put on the DL list for burns sustained to his chest. You guessed it: he was trying to iron a shirt while he was wearing it. I am sure his mother was mortified. I can hear her now, "Were you raised by wolves???" This thread is making me laugh so hard. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm from IN, but we now live in SC. IN does not have these particular signs, but they're all over SC. The signs say: KEEP MOVING CHANGE LANES LATER. They make me laugh. First, they seem rude and bossy. Second, they exist because IME, southerners are way too nice and will let traffic back up while they let stopped motorists merge when everyone really should just keep moving. They probably aren't funny to anyone but me, but I laugh every.single.time I see one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I have seen road signs that say "Turn Around, Don't Drown." (They are there to encourage you not to drive through standing water.) Note to self: don't drown. Got it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I love that on the boxes of frozen pies (don't judge me!) they put Do Not Turn Box Upside Down on the BOTTOM of the box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 When I was 19 or 20, I was driving to Ohio from Texas, going through Oklahoma. On the turnpike, a road sign read " Warning: Hitchhiker may be deranged lunatic". Another a little later warned "Hitchhiker may be escaped felon". I drove faster and avoided that route in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Years ago, there was a Braves player who was put on the DL list for burns sustained to his chest. You guessed it: he was trying to iron a shirt while he was wearing it. I am sure his mother was mortified. I can hear her now, "Were you raised by wolves???" This thread is making me laugh so hard. Terri :lol: I remembered that story about John Smoltz when I read that post. Too funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I saw one at the children's museum the other day. In the restroom behind the toilet it said "We're using reclaimed water" "Do Not Drink". Are there people who regularly drink out of the toilet? Maybe it's for the kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm from IN, but we now live in SC. IN does not have these particular signs, but they're all over SC. The signs say: KEEP MOVING CHANGE LANES LATER. I'm in GA and we have a lot of those KEEP MOVING signs. (They don't say Change Lanes Later, though.) The problem is that, where they're located, about half the time it is unwise to keep moving because then you'll just end up getting stuck in the merging lane until the traffic clears out. The cars are just so close together and going fast enough that it is unsafe to merge. I hate those KEEP MOVING signs. I *would* keep moving if I *could*. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 When I was 19 or 20, I was driving to Ohio from Texas, going through Oklahoma. On the turnpike, a road sign read " Warning: Hitchhiker may be deranged lunatic". Another a little later warned "Hitchhiker may be escaped felon". I drove faster and avoided that route in the future. The subdivision we lived in when I was in middle school was located near a prison farm. We had signs on all the roads that said "Do not pick up hitchhikers". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Years ago, there was a Braves player who was put on the DL list for burns sustained to his chest. You guessed it: he was trying to iron a shirt while he was wearing it. I am sure his mother was mortified. I can hear her now, "Were you raised by wolves???" This thread is making me laugh so hard. Terri I thought of John Smoltz too! He still gets mocked for that. He was in the broadcast booth and somebody commented on how crisp his shirt looked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 When I was 19 or 20, I was driving to Ohio from Texas, going through Oklahoma. On the turnpike, a road sign read " Warning: Hitchhiker may be deranged lunatic". Another a little later warned "Hitchhiker may be escaped felon". I drove faster and avoided that route in the future. I guess if you see a hitchhiker near the sign you can assume felon or illiterate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I always like the prescription warnings that say "side effects include death" and then say consult your doctor if side effects occur. In medical school we had to memorize the symptoms for various vitamin defiencies. For niacin deficiency or pellagra you were supposed to remember it by the four D’s: diarrhea, dementia, dermatitis and death. It just always cracked me up, like we were supposed to say “Oh, this person is dead. Clearly it must be niacin deficiency.†This thread is too funny, I laughed so hard I was crying. Many years ago dh and I were in Yellowstone. The bison goring signs that are everywhere made us laugh. Not that it wasn’t a good thing to warn people about but because one of them said something like “Goring can Kill.†LIke, well I was going to risk being gored by a bison, but if it can KILL...maybe not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I saw one at the children's museum the other day. In the restroom behind the toilet it said "We're using reclaimed water" "Do Not Drink". Are there people who regularly drink out of the toilet? Maybe it's for the kids? I heard that it is because legally all non-drinking water must come with a warning. I did hear that one country got made fun of because they held an international conference of some kind and had all the toilets labelled as "Do not drink". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 If you're ever in Grand Rapids, Mi. Do be careful of these: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 This is too funny. I almost woke my kids up from their nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I've always liked the one that tells me not to operate my hair dryer while sleeping. I used to think that was a 'duh' thing, but I believe some people run their hair dryers for the 'white noise' and some caught fire.... I'm not sure where I read that, but for some reason, that's in my head. I would think rewording is in order to show the seriousness if that's indeed the case; something along the lines of "do not leave unattanted while running. Can cause fire". Something like that. The way it's worded now is hilarious. I don't think I'll ever forget the warning I once saw on a curling iron: "For external use only." Oh my. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4Kiddos Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Well, I live in the state of ridiculous warnings. It seems like on every grocery or store aisle there is a sign for "this is known to the state of California..." My favorite was when my husband and I were out on a date. We parked next to a car and it had this little sticker on bottom right of the driver's window: "Warning! This vehicle is known the the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and other reproductive harm." There was some other warning on there that operating the vehicle could cause bodily harm but I don't remember the exact wording. My husband and I took a picture of it and just laughed so hard. Another favorite- on the Elmer's Glue Bottle it warns- "Do Not Dry Clean". Also, on my new juicer there is a warning not to use it in moving vehicles. :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 We just got a yogurt maker. The instructions informed us that we are not to operate in bare feet- not sure why bare feet would be so dangerous. We also had instructions on how to plug and unplug the machine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 These had me laughing the other day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 These had me laughing the other day. The 'mind crotch' one actually warns against bumping your head. I wonder if a passing 'helpful' foreigner provided that translation. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 These had me laughing the other day. Bwahahahahaha! I love the site engrishfunny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 These had me laughing the other day. The best is a comment that says "idiots at least check what your writing"! LMAO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 For some reason I can't get this photo to post, but check this out: US warning/UK warning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I saw a *huge* sign at Sears today, warning that the escalator was for passengers only, not to touch the sides of the escalator, not to take strollers or other mobility devices on the escalator, not to move up or down the escalator. It was like a Happy Fun Ball commercial. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I saw a *huge* sign at Sears today, warning that the escalator was for passengers only, not to touch the sides of the escalator, not to take strollers or other mobility devices on the escalator, not to move up or down the escalator. It was like a Happy Fun Ball commercial. :p Do not taunt escalator! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Well, not exactly on topic, but in Nepal I once saw a bright pink building with a sign that said, "Feminist Beauty Parlor." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I like the system in Europe. Stupidity doesn't pay. In Europe, in lawsuits, loser pays and also has to put up a bond for expenses of the opposing side before even bringing a suit. A panel of judges decides and stupidity doesn't pay. As a result, items like chain saws and tall ladders are less than half of the cost in the US while items that haven't had lawsuits about them are about the same price as in the US> Also, the playgrounds for the kids are much, much better because there is no fear of irrational law suits. If your kid falls off the monkey bars, you pay for the medical costs, not sue the city or the manufacturer. So there is no bonanza for being stupid or disregarding safety. Anyone climbing a tall ladder should know there is a risk and they should assess their abilities and decide whether they can do that safely. SO if you have a case of vertigo, don't climb ladders but if you do, don't expect others to pay for your mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Here ya go: On the back of the birthday candles we bought for the girls, it said, "Extinguish before disposing of candle." :confused1: I told them, "That's what we call an idiot warning!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Years ago, there was a Braves player who was put on the DL list for burns sustained to his chest. You guessed it: he was trying to iron a shirt while he was wearing it. I am sure his mother was mortified. I can hear her now, "Were you raised by wolves???" This thread is making me laugh so hard. Terri I should remember this, but who was it? When I used to work at Blockbuster (Music), I think our regional manager did this too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 :lol: I remembered that story about John Smoltz when I read that post. Too funny. SMOLTZIE?!?!?! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I just opened a new container of Easy Lunchboxes and the paper inside had some pointers. The first one of all said this: " Not recommended for use as a stepstool or doorstop." These are little reusable plastic lunch compartments!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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