whitestavern Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 He had been in declining health, but this was completely unexpected. I am still in shock. I have a 10 yo and a 12 yo. We are having a private viewing for the family. Do they go? Do I leave the choice up to them? How do we handle Christmas? Do we try to keep their life as normal as possible? I host Christmas Eve for my family and go to dh's family on Christmas Day. Do I spend Christmas Day with my mother (looks like she will be going to her brothers in NY w/my sister) or do I go w/dh and my kids? This is all so surreal... If you are the praying type, prayers for my mother, who is naturally devastated, would be appreciated. Although normally a very strong women, she is lost right now. She also feels like she could've done something to prevent this, which she couldn't have. I don't know how to help her through these feelings. Also, I need help figuring out the logistics of planning a church service. Does the church help you with music and readings? What about programs? Is there anyone out there who has been through this that could provide assistance? This is just so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so so sorry. The funeral home will help you wit the details. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: . I don't really know since my parents died when I was young and I haven't been involved in any planning for mil's funeral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 As far as your children it more depends on them. As far as service, the clergy member will help guide you to appropriate choices. When my dad died the funeral director gave my mom some books about the stages of grief and how they affect her as a widow. I'll ask my mom about the books, I know they helped her and a few others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne115 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so sorry. It is so difficult to lost a parent. I personally would let the children make their choice about whether they want to come or not. The funeral home will help with planning the service. I think what you do about Christmas is a decision only you can make. I will pray for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 He had been in declining health, but this was completely unexpected. I am still in shock. I have a 10 yo and a 12 yo. We are having a private viewing for the family. Do they go? Do I leave the choice up to them? How do we handle Christmas? Do we try to keep their life as normal as possible? I host Christmas Eve for my family and go to dh's family on Christmas Day. Do I spend Christmas Day with my mother (looks like she will be going to her brothers in NY w/my sister) or do I go w/dh and my kids? This is all so surreal... If you are the praying type, prayers for my mother, who is naturally devastated, would be appreciated. Although normally a very strong women, she is lost right now. She also feels like she could've done something to prevent this, which she couldn't have. I don't know how to help her through these feelings. Also, I need help figuring out the logistics of planning a church service. Does the church help you with music and readings? What about programs? Is there anyone out there who has been through this that could provide assistance? This is just so hard. Oh, dear one, I am so sorry. In my family, children always attend wakes and funerals, with appropriate prep before hand. They NEVER are forced to approach the coffin. I keep in physical contact w/them age appropriately at wakes until they are ready to walk away or separate on their own. I keep life consistent as much as possible but it is a DIFFERENT time, a time set away from everyday life to honor and grieve. My church would take you thru the funeral planning step by step, suggesting songs and readings. I'm very sorry and you'll all be in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 (((HUGS))).... My mother died suddenly, so I have some experience here. the funeral home will help with many of the details. Allow any family you have to help where they will.... Your boys are old enough to come with you...it is good for them to see the cycle of life and how to handle the death of a loved one. I was somewhat upset with my parents for NOT having things planned a bit.....and never teaching me HOW to grieve in a healthy way. Be good to yourself! When the shock wears off, allow yourself to cry...to grieve....to go through cycles of grief too....even months or years down the line. The clergy also knows what to do....this is a huge part of their job....they will help in any way possible...even just to listen and offer a hug. I am so sorry for your loss ...((( hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so sorry for your loss. My grandfather died unexpectedly when I was 12. I went to the viewing and I guess the funeral (I don't remember the funeral, just hte viewing). It was good to be surrounded by people who cared and be part of the process of saying goodbye. As the the holidays. Of course,it will not be normal :grouphug: You've just had a huge shock. But it might be good to still gather as a family. The kids will need to see that even through grief that life does continue. Perhaps plan something simple to commemorate him on that day. Maybe go to the gravesite, or make a special dish he would have liked, say a toast in his memory. Just something to remember him by and to acknowledge your loss during the holiday season. May your father rest in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so very sorry. I would have my kids go. They have been to several funerals and viewings (but all were closed caskets--so I guess visitations, not viewings). As far as Christmas, if your mom is ok with going to her sibs, I'd go ahead and go to your dh's family's, if it's not stressful. Some normal routines can help, esp children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 He had been in declining health, but this was completely unexpected. I am still in shock. If you are the praying type, prayers for my mother, who is naturally devastated, would be appreciated. Although normally a very strong women, she is lost right now. She also feels like she could've done something to prevent this, which she couldn't have. I don't know how to help her through these feelings. This happened to my family in April of this year. I could have written these exact words. My only advice is that there isn't a roadmap for this. It's a process. It takes time. You'll figure things out as you go through them. Prayers coming your way! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so sorry. The advice from our therapist has always been to involve the kids so that they can grieve, but at an acceptable level depending on how close they were to a relative. So, if it's someone they met twice, it's not necessary to attend the funeral. If it was a close family member, you want to involve them as much as possible. Sometimes watching others grieve can serve as a model for how the kids can deal with their own emotions. Remember, funerals are for the living. As far as the actual viewing, I would leave it up to your kids. I had never been to a viewing until I married into my husband's Mormon family. I was very disturbed by the whole thing. Then, a friend lost their baby and not only was there a viewing, but she had me sit in the chair and hold the baby. We were super close and this was incredibly healing for all involved. So, I guess it just depends. Your kids are totally old enough to give input and make their own decisions though, IMO. So sorry!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Oh, I'm so sorry!!!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so sorry. :grouphug: I had several long talks with the social workers at the hospital about my kids. We decided to make it the kid's decision. We also made a family decision to bring my mome home to live with us. You are grieving. Is there someone who can help you with the service? The siblings? Friends? death is sooooo hard. The grief process is so different for everyone. Be patient with one another. You will all grieve differently. I don't think I would separately celebrate the holidays but you need to decide what is right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: I've lost both my parents during the past three years. Mom had ovarian cancer so her death was expected. Dad's death last year was a total shock. I don't know which was worse. The church and the funeral director will help you plan everything. My mother planned both her funeral vigil and her funeral Mass, including music and readings. We had to plan Dad's but had some good ideas based on what we knew he liked. Mt parents were both cremated after their funeral Masses. We had a vigil service for my mother the night before. For my father we just had a visitation before Mass, right in our church. The caskets were both closed so I didn't have to think about how the kids (my 3 and my sister's 3) would react to a viewing. Both my parents died before Thanksgiving. We just carried on with regular traditions for all the holidays. All the grandchildren were used to spending the holidays with our parents, so my sister and I thought it best that we continue on with the same plans as always. I'm so very sorry, :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I remember going to funerals when I was much younger than your kids. It is a time for connection with extended family and friends. I have also lost several family members that were close to me including my dad. It will take time. The pastor or funeral director will usually ask if there are any special songs or readings that you would like, but I am sure they will help pick as well if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so very sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 My father died 3 years ago this week. It's a really hard time to lose someone you love at the holidays (I guess there is no good time) and I extend my sympathy to you and your Mom, and to all who loved your father. When my father died, my mother opted for a visitation but no service. That was just her preference - it would not have been mine. I think the funeral home will help you with those details. If not, ask someone to help you. People always want to help and don't know how. We did celebrate Christmas that year. We just sort of did it and accepted that it might be a sad time, or at least there would be sad moments. I would not hostess an event with people who have great expectations of you creating a magical, joyful experience. If you can have someone lower key with a more flexible attitude, then that should be ok. I just has my Mom, my sisters and their families, and my MIL. I think you should stay with your children on Christmas Day. If it's terribly important that you be with your mother, I would just let the in-laws know that there has been a change of plans. If your Mom will be ok with her brother and your sister, then let that go. She is going to need you plenty, so you will have other days. But I think for my kids (who were just turning 12 that month) it was a good thing to have a normal if someone deflated Christmas. I would not have left them to be with my mother. ((((((friend)))))))) It's a very sad thing to lose one's father, and my heart goes out to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Your pastor will help with the service and the funeral home will make calls and arrangements for you. I have always taken my dc to funerals but they've never been to an open casket. I agree with keeping Christmas as normal as possible. Routine is comforting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandsam Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so sorry for your loss. You've had alot of great advice here. Let others help you. Don't be shy about delegating, and don't stress over small decisions. I would try to make the holidays as normal as possible for your kids. I would recognize your dad at times, such as during prayers, but your kids should see that life goes on. It's a hard time of the year to lose someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so very sorry for your loss. My mom passed suddenly in October and we weren't prepared at all. The funeral home will help you with details, but only you know whether your kids should attend the viewing. They'll do ok with it, and likely they'll be less sad at the viewing than they will in the coming days and weeks as they see you upset. Your tears won't end at the funeral and it can be hard for kids to see their mom so sad. I'm praying for you to get through these next couple of weeks- it's always even more sad to hear about those lost during a holiday season. My heart goes out to all of you who have been through it at this time of year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 You have received excellent advice so far. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family as you deal with this. Blessings to you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I think the kids should go. Saying goodbye is not just for adults, it's part of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: for all of you. if it helps at all to get you through it, you could put this under the "homeschooling grief" heading. if your dc learn to grieve well (or at least not badly) now, it will help them their whole lives. some things that can help: books: the fall of freddy the leaf, badger's last ...., hope for the flowers. reading them with them will help you, too. photos: putting together a photo album, a power point presentation, an online digital photo album helps with memories. letters: making a card or writing a letter, telling three happy memories and three things they'll miss.... (this has been harder for me to help with when i'm grieving myself. what i have been able to manage has been talking about happy memories and having dc choose something that reminds them of the person that they can tuck into the coffin if they choose. eg. a skipping stone for a grandpa who loved to skip stones. this also gives them a way of remembering the person in their lives in the years to come.) food: having them work with you to make food for your dear mom. being a family together at the funeral home. give them a job. greeting guests or stationing them by the guest book to ask people to sign before leaving are two jobs that involve them but that are not emotionally laden. helping them see that they have a critical role in giving to others the gift of hope, of life continuing, of joy, of energy. talking about the stages of grief. when you do this, you can share some of the things that can happen, including forgetfulness. you might ask them to offer friendly helpful reminders of simple things like eating if they notice you are forgetting. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 You have my most sincere condolences, and sympathy. We have also suffered a holiday tragedy and completely understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm so very sorry. I think this is the only time in life when doing what one feels is right is allowed. Let your kids go if they want or not. Don't force anything. You'll probably want to keep your family together on Christmas and Christmas eve. I'm sure your dh's family will understand if you don't make it. The shoe will be on the other foot one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so very sorry. It would be devastating to lose a parent so suddenly at any time of year, but, to me, Christmas makes it all so much more difficult. You will be in my thoughts throughout the Christmas period, and I will pray for you, your mother and your family. Let your children decide whether or not to go to the viewing. My own thoughts are that it wouldn't necessarily be all that helpful, but that is a very personal opinion. Enlist all the help and support you can whilst arranging the funeral. First and foremost look after yourself and your family, you all need the most tender care just now. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 So sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 No advice, just :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbi in Texas Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 So sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry for your loss. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 {{{hugs}}} I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm sorry for your loss. :grouphug: I would let your kids take the lead in whether or not they want to attend. One option is to go to the funeral home and let them sit outside the viewing room. Often after a while they will feel comfortable enough to go inside. I encourage them to approach the coffin if they feel like they may be able to. With ds, we pointed out how pretty grandma looked, what a lovely rosary she was holding, the flowers, etc. It helped him to slowly become more comfortable with what he was seeing. Most of the time he stayed in the back of the room, but he did go up twice. It's wonderful if holidays can be spent together afterwards. It helped all of my siblings and I to be able to get together for holidays to tell stories and share remembrances. Kids often enjoy hearing these stories. If we can't be together on the actual holiday, we try to pick a day near it. This year we are getting together on the 29th for Christmas. Your mom will need time. My dad's death was not unexpected but my mom was still shocked and surprised by it. She went from shock to anger to such heart-wrenching grief. She often needed some space followed by family togetherness. I will remember your dad and family in my prayers today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 So very sorry for you loss. At those ages, I would have the kids go, even if only for a small part of it. I think they would want to be a part of the ceremony and service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 He had been in declining health, but this was completely unexpected. I am still in shock. I have a 10 yo and a 12 yo. We are having a private viewing for the family. Do they go? Do I leave the choice up to them? How do we handle Christmas? Do we try to keep their life as normal as possible? I host Christmas Eve for my family and go to dh's family on Christmas Day. Do I spend Christmas Day with my mother (looks like she will be going to her brothers in NY w/my sister) or do I go w/dh and my kids? This is all so surreal... If you are the praying type, prayers for my mother, who is naturally devastated, would be appreciated. Although normally a very strong women, she is lost right now. She also feels like she could've done something to prevent this, which she couldn't have. I don't know how to help her through these feelings. Also, I need help figuring out the logistics of planning a church service. Does the church help you with music and readings? What about programs? Is there anyone out there who has been through this that could provide assistance? This is just so hard. :grouphug: :grouphug: To You, Whitestavern. I was there 3 months ago. I encouraged my 9 and 12 yo to go, but we didn't have a viewing. I would make it an optional thing if it were me. You handle Christmas the exact same as you normally would. Keep everything the same for the kids. Make sure your mom is looked after and not alone (unless she wants to be, and even then....) The church has a committee that takes care of these things. They have choices for you or you can choose your own readings. My dad was a pastor so we changed the service quite a bit to his favorites. And we wrote a statement from the family that my uncle read. I am so sad for your family. The best advice I got was to keep everything normal for the kids. It forced me to keep going on. And 3 months later, it's still awful, but bearable. Take good care of you and yours and I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windmillmarie Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I'm sorry. I've been thought this with a parent but I was a wreck and have no clue how we pulled it off. I hope your mom - and you- find peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 He had been in declining health, but this was completely unexpected. I am still in shock. I have a 10 yo and a 12 yo. We are having a private viewing for the family. Do they go? Do I leave the choice up to them? How do we handle Christmas? Do we try to keep their life as normal as possible? I host Christmas Eve for my family and go to dh's family on Christmas Day. Do I spend Christmas Day with my mother (looks like she will be going to her brothers in NY w/my sister) or do I go w/dh and my kids? This is all so surreal... If you are the praying type, prayers for my mother, who is naturally devastated, would be appreciated. Although normally a very strong women, she is lost right now. She also feels like she could've done something to prevent this, which she couldn't have. I don't know how to help her through these feelings. Also, I need help figuring out the logistics of planning a church service. Does the church help you with music and readings? What about programs? Is there anyone out there who has been through this that could provide assistance? This is just so hard. you have my condolences on your grandfather's death. My mother died right before christmas three years ago. as for the viewing - what do you think they can handle? I would say go if they would like to, perhaps have an adult family friend in charge of them to make sure they aren't being overwhelmed. I was 12 when my father died, and all I remember was people trying to say kind things to me and I had no even who many of them were. you have family for christmas - so have christmas with your family. perhaps some focus on the religious message of christmas (you mentioned a church, so I apologize if you aren't religious) - God so loved us that He sent His Son - who conquered death that we will all rise again. as for christms day - what would your mother like you to do? does she want you with her or is she fine with your sister and her brother? as for programs - the church should help. did your grandfather have any favorite hymns or scriptural passages? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 No advice, just :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 So sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 :grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss. If it were my family, I would take the kids to the viewing, but let them decide if they want to be in the room with the coffin or not. If it is a very somber affair, I would have another adult available to take them back home or to another room. At most of the wakes we have been to, the kids tend to come and go. It is helpful if they have something they can do outside of the room. At each of my parents' funerals, we had another room for family that had sandwiches and cookies and a table where the kids could color or read or something. At my dad's wake many years ago, my 12yo niece organized all the little kids and had them make cards for my dad with their favorite memory. Every one of them approached and put it in the coffin (some running up, tossing it in and running away.) Some people thought their behavior was irreverent, but most of us were very touched that the children wanted Grandpa to bring their notes with him to heaven. The church should have people to help walk you through planning the service. If you know of some favorite readings and hymns, that can be helpful, but not necessary. I agree that you should be with your children. If your mother is OK with her Christmas Day plans, you can get together with her afterwards. Often, the let-down after the holidays, when people have gone back to their lives, can be more difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am very sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laf919 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I am a pastor, and assuming you have a pastor that you feel comfortable with, he/she can help you plan the service - including picking everything out for you or giving you some things to choose from. Different churches have different traditions of what needs to be read/sung/done for a funeral, but your pastor will guide you. I'd be happy to send you my planning sheet that I use with families in planning a funeral service, but it might not help much depending on your tradition. Let me know if you would like it. For your kids, I would encourage you to think about another adult who can be their "guide" for the viewing. Have them come, but don't force them to look in the casket if they are not comfortable with that. And make sure that there is someone who can take them somewhere else safe if they don't want to stay for the whole viewing. In some parts of the country, the viewing may be only an hour or two - around here 4 - 6 hours is not uncommon, and that is too long imo for kids to be expected to be there. You don't want to be worried about them, however, so finding another adult you trust to look after them for you is a good idea. Then they can leave with that person if they want and go watch a movie or whatever......if the viewing is on the short side, this will not be as much of an issue. Your kids might also want to be involved in the funeral service by doing a reading or something like that. Again, I am not sure of your specific faith tradition and what would be allowed, but I always ask if anyone from the family wants to read something or say something. I would never force it - some people find it healing and some find it terrifying - and I always encourage everyone, regardless of age, to have their comments written out so that if they can't say them, I can step up as the pastor and read the comments for them. Or your kids might want to write something about their grandpa for the pastor to read. I did one service for a beloved grandpa whose 12 grandkids put together a beautiful poster that we displayed with pictures of them and their grandpa through the years and short notes about favorite memories. It was very healing for the kids to put together and they asked me to read the notes they had written at the service. It was a beautiful part of remembering a special man. One final suggestion - and I got this from my grandpa's pastor when he died - ask if the church or funeral home can put a blank piece of paper inside each program (those should be provided by the church or funeral home, usually depending on where the service is held) and have the pastor ask everyone at the service to write down a memory of your dad. Have a basket available for them to put the papers in, or put the church's address on the form so folks can mail them back and the church can get them to you. I was so touched by the stories my grandpa's friends shared after he died, and it was a wonderful comfort to read those notes again and again in the weeks following his death. Not everyone will write something down, but it can be a great way to remember all the good things. Peace to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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