TracyR Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Just speaking hypothetically here. But am curious as to what other parents would do in a situation like this. What if you had an opportunity to send your child to an excellent school. With excellent teachers. They would pay for children's clothing, medical, dental expenses. There is no cost to the tuition. Even if your child does well they would pay for almost all their college expenses. Now what is the catch you say? (there's always a catch) Its a residential school. Meaning your children would be living on school grounds. With house parents and the such. Meaning it would be a good distance between you and your child for the school year. Of course they allow parent visitation on the weekends, activities and opportunities for the parents to come and watch their children , birthday parties etc. You can call, email, write etc. What would you do? Would you say, no, and pass up the opportunity? Or would you say , yes, because it could provide your child with every opportunity they could get in their educational life that you couldn't provide for them. I have a friend that is thinking about sending her child to a school like this and it got me thinking. What would I do if I had that opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Nope. Not a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Never. Childhood goes by so quickly anyway, why I would give my child to someone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No, it would not be for us. I know some parents who have sent their children to boarding school with good results. It is not, however, an option that would work for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. Way. :iagree: No. Way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frugalmama Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe - how old is the child in question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. It wouldn't work for us. However, for a teenager who is mature, good with people, looking for a challenge and an adventure, it might be a great opportunity. For a young kid, I would never do it. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. And I went to an excellent boarding school from age 11 to 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) I did have that option (minus the medical expenses). A couple with connections to a university-based boarding school for gifted teens in my state offered to nominate my son. We chose not to because we would miss him. We also feel morally responsible to finish raising him ourselves. We don't want to send any children away from home. He chose not to because he would have to leave behind Civil Air Patrol, his folk music club, taekwondo, his course in biblical Greek, and religious studies. This particular boarding school was a perfect fit for my friends' child. They had no interest in religious studies or homeschooling, and her daughter was withering on the vine in ps. Her boredom was affecting home relationships to the point where sending her away to school couldn't hurt. (Sad, but true.) She had no friends and was just miserable. Their daughter loved the school very much, did very well, and recently graduated from college. They have a wonderful relationship with their daughter now (it began to improve immediately upon her enrollment) and are very happy they went this route. Now, they aren't doing the same for their also-gifted son. They are working harder to find better learning opportunities while keeping him at home. One solution has been to get permission for him (along with a few other math-gifted students whose parents were willing to work together) to take Algebra at the high school while he still goes to middle school for the rest of the day. That has been very successful, so they are optimistic that the school will be more flexible than their daughter's ps had been. They are also working harder on his social development, helping him to be more tolerant and friendly with a wider range of people. Edited January 25, 2012 by Tibbie Dunbar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. And especially no if it's Milton Hershey she's thinking of (noticed you are in PA). I know some former houseparents from there and one of my daughter's friends is attending there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Not a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No way in Hades. And Wolf attended a boarding academy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe, if the child was a junior or senior as in 16-18 years old and fairly well grounded in their beliefs. Anything younger than that no way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. And especially no if it's Milton Hershey she's thinking of (noticed you are in PA). I know some former houseparents from there and one of my daughter's friends is attending there. I'm curious as to why you would say that? I'm also thinking she is talking about the Milton Hershey School, which a a former Hershey resident, is a great school. I know many alumnus and many houseparents and since I was a resident of Hershey I often came in contact with students from there while they were out in the community and have nothing but positive things to say about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No, I would not send any of my children. While this type of situation might offer them some advantages, it would come at the cost of family relationships and closeness. In my opinion, those are much more important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) I'm curious as to why you would say that? I'm also thinking she is talking about the Milton Hershey School, which a a former Hershey resident, is a great school. I know many alumnus and many houseparents and since I was a resident of Hershey I often came in contact with students from there while they were out in the community and have nothing but positive things to say about them. There were some scandals in the past. The former houseparents had some valid complaints with irt the way things were run. It sounded like there were some "good ole boys club" politics and letter of the law rather than spirit of the law issues. I can't speak to specifics. My daughter's friend has stated that she doesn't like it there. Unfortunately, she doesn't really have a say in the matter. My understanding is also that it is a school for troubled youth or those from troubled homes. Not meant to be a typical boarding school. I'm open to correction on the last part. Personally, I would not send my kids away. I gave birth to my kids and I planned on raising them. Edited January 25, 2012 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. It would go against every ideal we have in raising our children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Of course not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I only have littles, but I can't imagine letting them go. However, I remember being a teen and if my child really, really, REALLY wanted to go, I would have to consider it. (Only 15 years and older) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 no wouldn't do it. Even my DH who is all over things academic wouldn't want the separation from the kids. I would miss them WAY too much. Heck, that's one of the big reasons we're homeschooling - to spend more time with them since the public school day is SO long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 My father was sent to a boarding school by relatives after the death of his mother at about age 12. He was always very emotionally reserved and my mother accued him of being a "cold fish" at times. I don't know how much of that was due to going to boarding schools or if he had very mild on the spectrum issues. His younger brother had serious(1950's serious not today serious) behavior problems and was definitely different even as an adult. Again I do not know whether the issue was enviornmental (boarding school) or organic(ASD). I do know that they had to find a new school for his brother every year(the schools did not want him back). Some of the stories my father told me about things he did indicate to me that he had waaay too much freedom and waaay too little adult supervision. For example, at one point he researched how to make nitro glycerin in the library. Absconded with materials from the chemistry lab and made some. Then he set it off and blew a hole in the ground. He was never caught because he had sense enough to fill in the hole so it would not be noticed. He "borrowed" some of the gardening equipment to do this. I think about how much time all of this must have taken and wonder why there wasn't some adult wondering where he was and what he was doing and investigating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No, it would not be for us. I know some parents who have sent their children to boarding school with good results. It is not, however, an option that would work for our family. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Teens age 16ish or so who really wanted it, were really mature and whose futures I thought it would benefit? I don't know. Maybe. I'd consider it. Younger kids? My 11 year old? No. I'd miss them too much and want to be with them and raise them myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 If it were my oldest (dd13), I would do it in a minute. She is absolutely driving me up the wall. And down. And back up again. I know all the reasons I should not feel this way, but right now I do. Where is this place? (Really...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe. DH went to a boarding school a few hours from his parents in high school. He loved it and has great memories. He's also very close to his parents. I think it was a great option for them. I doubt that we end up going that route, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No, although if it was for late teens, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe, is this the Hershey school? I grew up going to boarding school and wouldn't like to send my kids there, but might if I felt it was an exceptional opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I would consider it for later high school. If it could provide my child with opportunities that I could not, and if he was very interested, then I would certainly research it. I would not consider it before 10th grade, though. I was accepted into a boarding school for theatre, but it was too expensive. I would miss my child, but I don't think two years at a carefully chosen school will harm my relationship. Truthfully, we would be willing to move our family to support a child academically, artistically, or athletically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) It is Milton Hershey school, and its for real. LOL Actually all those Hershey products you eat fund this school. Milton Hershey and his wife were never able to have children. So they started a school. It was once for orphaned boys, then after that was switched over to foster care become a school for boys. Now its a school for both boys and girls that live in a low income. I've always heard good things about it, never any negative. My friend's daughter is 15 yrs old. She is at her wits end with her. Just isn't interested in doing anything. Has a hard time getting her to do her school work even. Our area really offers parents nothing for their children past the age of 12. If your not an athlete. The high school has a bad but their music program is AWFUL, and they can hardly get anyone to join it. The past time around our area for teenagers is to have sex and get pregnant. There is the swim team that our local Y offers and a gymnastics team but she can't afford that. So her daughter just isn't involved and doesn't seem interested in sports right now. I think its because everything around here is done in such a half baked way and the teams lose all of the time that the kids just get to a point they don't care. Besides as I'm typing this my husband came home and pointed to me in our local paper that the school district is going to have some budget cuts. The ps high school is the ONLY school choice you have once your child graduates 6th grade in our area. If you want your child in a private school , you have to travel a very long distance. or set your child up with a host family to stay with in the city so they can go. I really feel for her because she's a single mom ( her husband passed away three years ago) and she isn't interested in homeschooling at all. Its really hard because even I as a homeschooling parent am finding there is NOTHING for my 14 yr old to do either. She swam for 4yrs but lost interest when the coach started to ignore her when he found out she was homeschooled. Our ps high school does offer activities but they do everything in their power to make it difficult for the homeschoolers by not announcing schedule times outside of the school. So you get to the school and find out that practice was cancelled and it was announced over the school intercom but they never call you and tell you that it was canceled, or they change the activity and you have to rush and get somewhere else. Plus the activities are poorly put together. I was totally disgusted with how the cheerleading team was ran. I really don't think I want my daughter to participate in anything there anymore anyways. I just validated my reasons to why I don't want her there. Anyways I feel for her. Its getting tougher for me as well to even keep my own daughter interested in anything now. But she had gotten a flyer in the mail and was thinking about it. She wants her daughter to have a good education and good opportunities. I don't blame her. I told her I was there when I was a teen. My step father went there as a boy. And was able to see the homes and the grounds. I remember wanting to go and my father said, " No." So I'd love to learn more about the school as my own knowledge is limited as I was a kid when we visited there. So I have very little to tell her. Edited January 25, 2012 by TracyR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. There is so much more to life than academics. Being raised and connecting with a mother and father that love you trumps academics any day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 In the situation you described, I would definitely send her. It sounds like a good opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Right now it's not an option. Later, if dd wanted to (for her Jr and Sr hs years) or the boys once they were hs level, I would seriously consider it. They would have to want to and be mature enough to handle the separation, though. Dd is, but like I said, for now being 'away' isn't an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Absolutely not. My experience is colored, no doubt, by having to send my ds to residential treatment, which is a whole 'nother ball of wax, but I will say that I believe the family unit, at home, is where kids should be raised. There are loans and such to help with education. Nothing beats or compares with home, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 no. I am able to provide all those things myself. However, if I didn't have the ability to feed and clothe my child myself then yes, I would. Maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 No. Way. There are many things that are more important than education. Education is very important, but good parenting, a loving home, etc. are far more important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 In the situation you describe yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I would not do it with dd being who she is. But if I were faced with what you described I'd do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in MI Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) In the situation you described, I would definitely send her. It sounds like a good opportunity. :iagree: In that situation I would. Edited January 25, 2012 by Laura in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 In the situation you described, I'd consider is very, very seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 In the situation and age of the child you describe I would seriously consider it as an option. For my children at their ages no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 If dd wanted to go and we both felt as though it was a good fit, I would definitely do it. But that is hindsight talking. In reality we contemplated it @7th but ultimately decided against it. She was even offered a spot at an excellent boarding school for 10-12 and although I said yes, I think I only said yes because I knew she would say no :tongue_smilie: Of course, I am letting her go abroad this semester, and she will be staying in a boarding-school situation so I guess I actually DID say yes... And I think I just confused myself and made myself sad all at the same time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Personally, I cannot see ever doing that. However, in the situation you described I think I would very strongly consider it. I can see how it could be the best option in some situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I would strongly consider it in your friend's situation as well, but I'd have to have the right gut feeling, not just making a choice out of desperation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe if I died, but even then it would be HIGHLY doubtful. Seems kind of like giving you child away. Personally, I had children to HAVE children in my life to raise, love, and support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe. DH went to a boarding school a few hours from his parents in high school. He loved it and has great memories. He's also very close to his parents. I think it was a great option for them. I doubt that we end up going that route, though. :iagree: A couple of friends of mine from childhood (sisters) went to one. Admission started sophomore year of high school. They loved it, their parents visited quite often (they took me along a few times). Such nice girls, and they turned out really well (one recently married and is an MD/PhD). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 For my own children, I would say no way. In the situation you described, I'd consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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